


make me feel like i'm breathing

by noiroses



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: 3RACHA, Drinking, Friendship, Hyunjin centric, I don't know how to tag and at this point I'm too afraid to ask, M/M, One Night Stands, Referenced Sex, Side Chanlix, Strangers to Lovers, Texting, actually strangers to enemies to friends to lovers, but there's also changbin's pov here and there, changbin has tattoos and a piercing so thats hot, cursing, hyunjin has a shit dad, kinda enemies to lovers, narration parts, rich hyunjin vs not at all rich changbin, rich kid hyunjin and his rich friends, side minsung, some binsung, some seungin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:08:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 81,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26221630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noiroses/pseuds/noiroses
Summary: hyunjin:he has an undercut and one arm full of tattoos thats so fucking hothyunjin:waithyunjin:i think i just saw an eyebrow piercinghyunjin:I’M H WORDjeonginnie:h word???seungminnie:i believe he means Hornyin which felix minho and hyunjin go to a 3racha concert and hyunjin somehow manages to take the hot guy with the tattooed arm home
Relationships: Hwang Hyunjin/Seo Changbin
Comments: 418
Kudos: 657





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this all came to be because of [This](https://64.media.tumblr.com/46f55d67119ffa6b869622b5620ae0f0/b3a88bad60e7632d-bf/s250x400/55a3a67bcb8870413a8758f3117168126a176ea8.gifv) hyunjin look
> 
> title from a little death by the neighbourhood
> 
> there's a russian translation for this fic, socmed version, [here](https://twitter.com/_jellybeanie/status/1346102539427704832)!

**_Saturday, 21:30_ **

**minho is catboy**

**hyunjin:** felix can i come to your house

**hyunjin:** my dad’s yelling at me again and i’m not in the mood

**cutie lix:** yeah sure

**cutie lix:** minho’s here too

**cutie lix:** we’re getting ready for the concert

**jeonginnie:** wait what concert?? you didn’t invite me??

**cutie lix:** 3racha’s

**cutie lix:** i told you about it and you literally said “i don’t do charity”

**jeonginnie:** ah yes i remember now

**jeonginnie:** well as i said, have fun doing charity, i don’t vibe with that

**seungminnie:** it’s not like your mom lets you go out at night

**jeonginnie:** it’s not like YOUR mom lets you go out at night

**seungminnie:** she does actually

**lee minho:** both of you shut up

**lee minho:** it’s not like they’re going to let any of you past the door so

**lee minho:** anyways hyunjin you’re always welcome to come with us <3

**seungminnie:** hyunjin’s literally my age

**lee minho:** no hyunjin’s 20 you’re like… i don’t know

**lee minho:** 2?

**seungminnie:** fuck you

**lee minho:** HEY LANGUAGE

**hyunjin:** shut up everyone

**hyunjin:** i’m coming

**jeonginnie:** wait hyunjin what happened with your dad?? same as always?

**_Saturday, 20:30_ **

**3RACHA BOIS**

**changbin:** guys what are you wearing tonight

**changbin:** i can’t choose

**changbin:** all of my outfits scream bisexual is that okay

**bangchan:** yes

**bangchan:** i’m wearing the same thing as always so don’t ask me

**changbin:** wbk

**ugly (jisung):** i won’t spoil the surprise

**ugly (jisung):** but i look hot as fuck

**changbin:** i told you you shouldn’t lie jisung

**changbin:** just help meeee

**ugly (jisung):** you’re gonna wear all black like always just accept it and move on

**changbin:** shut up

**changbin:** send me pics of your outfits i’ll choose whatever fits best with yours

**changbin:** guys pleaseeeee

**bangchan:** i’m leaving now i’ll be at jisung’s in 20 and then it’s 10 minutes from there to changbin’s

**bangchan:** so be ready please!!

**ugly (jisung):** ok

**changbin:** they way you ignore me sometimes

**changbin:** fucking rude if you ask me

**ugly (jisung):** <3

**_Saturday, 22:05_ **

**minho is catboy**

**jeonginnie:** heeeeeeeeeeeey

**jeonginnie:** guys please stop ignoring me you’re my only entertainment for the night

**lee minho** : pov: you’re minho you’re ready to go out and drink yourself to death but your friends are busy flirting right in front of you

**jeonginnie:** what

**lee minho** : hyunjin came and threw himself on the bed like the dramatic bitch he is

**lee minho:** then felix went to lie down with him and now he’s touching his hair and his face whispering him things and i’m seriously going to throw up

**jeonginnie:** disgusting

**jeonginnie:** send pics

**seungminnie:** c*te

**jeonginnie:** i’m winning the bet hehe

**lee minho** : not if you don’t have proof

**lee minho:** also yes i think it’s the same as always bc he said something about going to the us

**lee minho:** i’m trying to convince him to go out with us but he’s just whining

**lee minho:** well now he went to the bathroom to cry

**hyunjin:** minho shut the fuck up

**hyunjin:** i didn’t go to the bathroom to cry i already did that in front of you

**lee minho:** true

**hyunjin:** and i don’t know if i wanna go out

**hyunjin:** like why would i go to a rap concert in a stinky bar? and listen to a group no one knows?

**hyunjin:** (no offense lix)

**hyunjin:** what do they DO in a rap concert

**seungminnie:** call me crazy but i think they…. Rap

**hyunjin:** shut up

**lee minho:** i mean,,, you’re not wrong

**hyunjin:** why are you even going

**lee minho:** felix asked and i’m a nice friend?

**lee minho:** he also said that we could celebrate my birthday in his dad’s yacht

**lee minho:** so please just come with us i don't want to suffer through this alone

**hyunjin:** i see how it is

**hyunjin:** ok im thinking about it

**hyunjin:** but i’m not like,,,dressed appropriately

_**| hyunjin:** like why would i go to a rap concert in a stinky bar? and listen to a group no one knows?_

**cutie lix:** first of all rude

**cutie lix:** but also i told you you could wear my stuff!!!

**cutie lix:** minho will do your makeup and i’ll do your hair *-*

**lee minho:** i’m going to do What now

**cutie lix:** stop looking at me like that

**seungminnie:** felix!!!!!! Do the ponytail!!!!!

**cutie lix:** OBVIOUSLY!!!

**hyunjin:** shut up you know i like the ponytail…

**lee minho:** just say you’re coming alreadyyyyyyyy

**hyunjin:** ok OK im coming

**hyunjin:** it’s not like listening to my dad yelling at me is any better so

**lee minho:** niceeeeee

**lee minho:** let’see if we can get that vitamin d tonight

**hyunjin:** stop having kinks with poor people

**cutie lix:** wait a sec

_**| jeonginnie:** i’m winning the bet hehe_

**cutie lix:** what bet are you talking about???

**lee minho** : stop texting and help me put hyunjin in leather pants

**_Saturday, 23:20_ **

**felix:** hey chan!! best of luck tonight! break a leg!!

**felix:** we managed to get a spot at the back and we have a nice view of the stage!!

**channie <3:** awwww thanks lix

**channie <3:** we’re still getting ready but we have like 10 minutes left

**channie <3:** i’m kinda nervous

**channie <3:** wait who’s we

**felix:** don’t be nervous i’m sure you’ll do great!

**felix:** minho and hyunjin are with me

**channie <3:** how did you convince them to come here you’re so powerful

**felix:** dhjkdgh i know right

**felix:** you can meet them later they’re really nice!!!

**channie <3:** okay have fun!!

**channie <3:** i’ll look for you in the crowd

**felix:** (✿◠‿◠)

**_Saturday, 23:30_ **

**minho is catboy**

**jeonginnie:** what are you guys doing

**jeonginnie:** update me

**jeonginnie** : i’m boredddddd

**seungminnie:** go to sleep

**jeonginnie:** you’re not my mom

**hyunjin:** minho’s drinking obviously

**hyunjin:** and felix is currently smiling at his phone

**seungminnie** : so he’s talking with chan

**hyunjin:** idk probably

**hyunjin:** now he’s blushing

**cutie felix:** stop i’m not blushing

**cutie felix:** anyways they’re gonna start any minute now so bye

**seungminnie:** have fun don’t forget to take videos of minho dancing like a grandpa

* * *

Hyunjin left his phone on the table right as Minho arrived, one shot of tequila in each hand. He was smiling, the bad kind of smiling. His whole face screamed “we are going to get shitfaced tonight”, which was his usual mood whenever they went out at night.

Normally, Hyunjin would just watch the trainwreck happen from the sidelines. He would drink, of course, but he knew he couldn’t engage in any Minho related activities if he wanted to remember what he had done the following morning.

That night, however, he felt tempted to allow himself that kind of freedom. He kept staring at Minho while he gulped both of the shots, one after another like it was just water, and he couldn’t help but wonder what that felt like. To enjoy life without having to care about consequences. To not think about his problems and worries constantly. They were supposed to be having fun, but even then he couldn't feel truly happy.

“Do you like my face that much?”, Minho asked. His stare hadn’t gone unnoticed and he broke it with a half smile.

“I actually hate it, you should really hit my mom’s surgeon. I’ll tell him to give you a discount”, he said.

“Just shut up and drink, please? I don’t want you to ruin our mood and you’re kind of doing it already with that sad puppy face. Felix, tell him to stop ruining our mood”, Minho said. But Felix was too busy eyeing the stage, looking like a toddler on his first day of school. “God, I swear this is the last time I go out with any of you two losers”.

“Shhh, they’re starting soon”, Felix just whispered without sparing them a glance.

“Yeah, that’s what you said ten minutes ago and we’re still waiting. Do they think they’re Madonna?”. Rolling his eyes, Minho got up again and looked at him. “Look, I’m going for another drink before this thing starts and I’m getting something for you too. Want anything in particular? Or should I choose for you?”.

“If you choose something for me I’m gonna end up puking in five seconds, so no, thanks. Just… rum and coke”, he said. Rum and coke was nice. Rum and coke didn’t punch you in the stomach like the shit Minho always ordered. Who the hell thought Jäggermeister with Red Bull was a good idea? Was that even allowed?

“Okay. Boring. Be right back”.

He watched his friend turn around. He knew he would most likely regret it when he said: “Wait, Minho. Bring me two shots of tequila too”.

* * *

**_Sunday, 00:30_ **

**minho is catboy**

**hyunjin:** you guys……

**jeonginnie:** what???

**hyunjin:** ma yhaps im a lil drunk

**hyunjin:** but they’re kinda Hot?

**jeonginnie:** pics or i’ll assume minho poked your eyes with chopsticks

**seungminnie:** i thought you didn’t like poor people

**hyunjin:** no but one of them can like,,, Get It you know

**seungminnie:** who? felix’s friend?

**hyunjin:** no

**hyunjin:** he has an undercut and one arm full of tattoos thats so fucking hot

**hyunjin:** wait

**hyunjin:** i think i just saw an eyebrow piercing

**hyunjin:** I’M H WORD

**jeonginnie:** h word???

**seungminnie:** i believe he means Horny

**jeonginnie:** the hell

**jeonginnie:** do i look like i wanna read hyunjin’s horny breakdown???

**jeonginnie:** im going to sleep bye

**seungminnie:** honestly mood

**lee minho:** HYUNSJIN STOPOPP TEXFTING THAS RUDEEEE

**lee minho:** goodnight my Little angel jeongin sweet dreammmss

**seungminnie:** how much did you drink

**lee minho:** i dunno

**lee minho:** your not my mom

**lee minho:** byee

* * *

“What do you mean he’s HOT?”, Minho yelled in his ear.

“I MEAN HE’S HOT”, he yelled back.

“The one who looks like a squirrel? Hyunjin are you okay?”, his friend asked, actually worried.

“No you dumbass, I mean the other one. The one with the half plaid half grey sweater”. He pointed his finger at the rapper, who was moving around the stage with a confidence that had hit Hyunjin in the face like a truck as soon as he saw him enter.

It had been dark when the boys had finally appeared, and even with only a faint shadow and a silhouette he had looked impressive to him. When they started their performance, and Hyunjin saw them clearly, he knew why. He saw arms and tattoos and pants that looked really tight, but at the same time perfectly made just for him. He looked insanely good in them, he had thought. His voice sounded raw, kind of raspy, and it had made him wonder how it would feel like to have that voice whispering in his ear.

He knew he was drunk, way more drunk than usual, and maybe it was the alcohol talking, but for once he didn’t mind. He liked it there. He liked the feeling, being surrounded by people jumping, drinking and screaming as loud as they could the few lyrics they knew. He liked his friends and he liked that he wasn’t thinking about his dad or his mom anymore.

* * *

**_Sunday, 02:00_ **

**chan:** where are youuuuu

**felix <3:** hey channie!!

**felix <3:** we’re at the back near the bar

**felix <3:** come!!

**chan:** okay!!

**chan:** im going with the guys so they can say hi too

**chan:** wait for us!

**felix <3:** im waiting <3

**_Sunday, 02:05_ **

**3RACHA BOIS**

**bangchan:** guys where are you

**bangchan:** i need you to come with me to say hi to felix and his friends <3

**ugly (jisung):** why do you need us to say hi

**ugly (jisung):** do you not know how to say hi by yourself

**bangchan:** come oooooooon i want you to meet him *_*

**bangchan:** them i guess

**changbin:** i’m getting a beer

**changbin:** who’s them

**bangchan:** his friends

**bangchan:** so you’re coming?

**Changbin:** yeah okay as soon as i get my beer

**Changbin:** you guys want anything?

**bangchan:** jisung say you’re coming i dont trust you

**ugly (jisung):** god

**ugly (jisung):** okay im coming to meet your rich Friends

**ugly (jisung):** don’t beat me up later if i hate them

**bangchan:** you’re not going to hate felix

**ugly (jisung):** binnie get me a beer too

**changbin:** okay

**changbin:** wait i think i see felix?

**changbin:** whos the blonde guy with the ponytail

**changbin:** he’s kinda hot

**_Sunday, 05:30_ **

**minho is catboy**

**lee minho:** guys where the FUCK are you

**lee minho:** i’m sick of this squirrel looking guy please come save me

**cutie lix:** i thought hyunjin was with you???

**lee minho:** he left a while ago

**lee minho:** he’s been flirting nonstop with the ugly guy i think they went home together

**cutie lix:** what do you mean they went HOME together

**lee minho:** i dont know and i dont fucking care just tell me where you are???

**lee minho:** i swear to god if jisu or whatever’s his name cracks another stupid joke im going to end myself

**lee minho:** im not even drunk anymore

**cutie lix:** relax

**cutie lix:** chan wanted me to meet some of his friends

**lee minho:** he has More Friends???

**cutie lix:** yes

**cutie lix:** anyways wait for me and we can go home

**lee minho:** the squirrel just pouted at me for being on my phone and not paying attention to him

**lee minho:** that was c*te

**_Sunday, 05:35_ **

**3RACHA BOIS**

**ugly (jisung):** changbin you slut

**ugly (jisung):** i hope you enjoy your hookup just remember you Betrayed your best friend for a one night stand

**ugly (jisung):** chan come save me

**ugly (jisung):** im trying to be nice to this minho guy bc his friends left him alone but

**ugly (jisung):** he’s a bitch

**ugly (jisung):** he keeps texting right in front of me like IM JUST TRYING TO MAKE SOME CONVERSATION HERE

**ugly (jisung):** is it rude if i just leave

**ugly (jisung):** he doesnt like my jokes who doesnt like my jokes??

**ugly (jisung):** wait he just smiled…

**bangchan:** im coming

**bangchan:** where did changbin go???

**bangchan:** WAIT FELIX SAID HE WENT HOME WITH HYUNJIN??

**ugly (jisung):** the ponytail guy?

**ugly (jisung):** ye i saw hyunjin all touchy and stuff

**ugly (jisung):** and changbin can say all he wants about arrogant rich kids who only want to piss off their dads but he was ENJOYING it

**ugly (jisung):** no more beer for changbin i think it makes him stupid

**bangchan:** oh my god

**bangchan:** that’s so

**bangchan:** WOW

**bangchan:** you think they’re gonna like,,, have sex???

**ugly (jisung):** are you 12?

**ugly (jisung):** OF COURSE THEY’RE GONNA HAVE SEX

**ugly (jisung):** JUST COM HERE YOU DUMBASS

**bangchan:** ok im COMING

**ugly (jisung):** thats what changbin’s saying right now

**bangchan:** i hate you

* * *

**_Sunday, 11:30_ **

**minho is catboy**

**jeonginnie:** hyunjin went home WITH WHOMST?

**jeonginnie:** send pics

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments are always appreciated!
> 
> [twt](https://twitter.com/noirxses)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> > **ugly (jisung):** honestly i dont even know why you went for him he’s so not your type
>> 
>> **changbin:** oh and what is my type?
>> 
>> **changbin:** please enlighten me
>> 
>> **bangchan:** tall buff dudes who can manhandle you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> texts only!!!

**_Sunday 11:45_ **

**minho is catboy**

**seungminnie:** HYUNJIN DID WHAT NOW

 **seungminnie:** i leave him alone with minho for ONE NIGHT and this happens

 **lee minho:** why is it my fault if hyunjin has no taste????

 **jeonginnie:** just tell us what happened!!!!!!

 **lee minho:** i already told you he abandoned me

 **lee minho:** he kept flirting with the ugly guy and then they disappeared together

 **lee minho:** anyways it’s too early i only got out of bed bc i needed to pee so. good night

 **jeonginnie:** ugh

 **jeonginnie:** felix are you there

 **cutie lix:** barely awake but yes

 **jeonginnie:** then TALK

 **cutie lix:** i literally have no clue i was with chan the whole time and when i came back they were gone

 **cutie lix:** but chan said hyunjin doesn’t seem like changbin’s type so idk

 **cutie lix:** maybe they didn’t go home together?

 **jeonginnie:** i mean

 **jeonginnie:** i think hyunjin’s everyone’s type

 **seungminnie:** full homo

 **jeonginnie:** shut up

 **jeonginnie:** @hyunjin wake uuuuuuuuup

 **jeonginnie:** did you sleep with the ugly man yes or no

**_Sunday, 12:30_ **

**hyunjin:** hey felix

 **hyunjin:** do you have changbin’s number? or can you ask chan?

 **cutie lix:** HYUNJINNNNNNN

 **cutie lix:** why are you ignoring the groupchat

 **cutie lix:** what happened yesterday?????

 **cutie lix:** and why do you need changbin’s number?

 **hyunjin:** too many questions lix

 **hyunjin:** he left something at my house

 **cutie lix:** WHAT

**_Sunday, 12:32_ **

**felix:** CHAN THEY _DID_ GO HOME TOGETHER

 **felix:** you owe me 10 bucks

 **channie <3:** WHAT DO YOU MEAN

 **felix:** i mean that they went. Home. Together

 **felix:** and you owe me

 **channie <3:** i owe you nothing until i have proof

 **channie <3:** how do you know

 **felix:** [screenshot attached]

 **channie <3:** ok i did Not expect that

 **channie <3:** so wait do i have to give you changbin’s number??

 **felix:** i guess?

 **channie <3:** wait i’ll ask him

**_Sunday, 12:35_ **

**bangchan:** hey

 **bangchan:** so hyunjin is kinda maybe asking for your number?

 **bangchan:** i figured it’s okay if i give it to him but just in case

 **changbin:** fuck no

 **bangchan:** oh

 **bangchan:** ok

 **changbin:** dont ask why

 **bangchan:** why

 **changbin:** dont

 **bangchan:** no but like, did something happen? u ok?

 **changbin:** nothing happened

 **changbin:** and yes i’m okay

 **bangchan:** ok ok

 **bangchan:** well he’s saying you left something at his house?

 **bangchan:** that’s why he asked for your number

 **changbin:** at his house? what did i leave?

 **bangchan:** idk

 **changbin:** aw fuck

 **changbin:** i left my fucking sweater

 **changbin:** the ONE night i wear a fancy sweater

 **changbin:** fuck me

 **bangchan:** it was a nice sweater yeah

 **bangchan:** but you don’t have to talk to him if you don’t want to

 **bangchan:** i can get it for you if that’s better

 **changbin** : yes please

 **changbin:** thanks chan

**_Sunday, 12:45_ **

**channie <3:** sooooooooooo he kinda said he doesn’t wanna talk to him?

 **channie <3:** i think something happened but he didnt tell me :/

 **channie <3:** apparently he left his sweater at hyunjin’s house

 **channie <3**: i said i could get it for him

 **channie <3:** so you can tell hyunjin to give it to you

 **felix:** uhhhh okay :/

 **felix:** what happened between those two??

 **channie <3:** idk?

 **channie <3: **i’ve seen changbin sleep with a lot of guys and he’s never rude about it?

 **channie <3:** like if he has to talk to them again or smth he doesn’t care

 **channie <3:** :////

**_Sunday, 13:00_ **

**cutie lix:** maybe it’s better if i just give the sweater to chan?

 **hyunjin:** did changbin say that?

 **cutie lix:** kind of

 **hyunjin:** kind of?

 **hyunjin:** what did he say exactly?

 **cutie lix:** i don’t know exactly?

 **cutie lix:** but basically you can give it to me and i’ll give it to chan

 **cutie lix:** did something happen????

 **hyunjin:** idk?

 **hyunjin:** he left in a hurry but i just thought he was late for work

 **hyunjin:** you think he hates me?

 **cutie lix:** nooooo

 **cutie lix:** no one could hate you hyunnie (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)

 **cutie lix:** well maybe someone could hate you i don’t know every person on this planet so i can’t say i’m 100% sure maybe there’s someone out there who likes hating nice people?

 **cutie lix:** but i mean i’m sure it wasn’t your fault

 **hyunjin:** love u too lix

**_Sunday, 14:30_ **

**3RACHA BOIS**

**ugly (jisung):** why aren’t we talking about how changbin managed to somehow score the hottest guy in the place?

 **ugly (jisung):** and the guy didn’t even LOOK at me??? like??? you see us both and you go for HIM???

 **ugly (jisung):** make it make sense ugh

 **ugly (jisung):** did you put something in his drink?

 **changbin:** do you seriously think i would do that???

 **ugly (jisung):** no i just wanted you to stop ignoring me

 **ugly (jisung):** you’re aliveeeeee

 **changbin:** unfortunately yes

 **ugly (jisung):** well i thought you’d be happier

 **ugly (jisung):** how long has it been since you last had sex like….a year?

 **changbin:** i dont know i dont keep count

 **ugly (jisung):** that’s why i do it for you

 **ugly (jisung):** and it’s a year

 **ugly (jisung):** well it WAS

 **ugly (jisung):** cause you did have sex with him right? hyunjin?

 **changbin:** yes

 **ugly (jisung):** what do you mean “yes”

 **ugly (jisung):** im gonna need all the details right now

 **ugly (jisung):** and when i say all.. i MEAN ALL

 **ugly (jisung):** like first of all how did he agree to go home with you and where did you go his house? or yours? what did you do is he good in bed what does he like???

 **ugly (jisung):** actually he looks like he’s a brat in bed

 **ugly (jisung):** was he a brat?

 **ugly (jisung):** cause we know you’re a brat too so im not seeing that ending up too well

 **changbin:** oh my god shut up

 **changbin:** you’re making my headache get WORSE

 **changbin:** why do you care so much about my sex life?

 **ugly (jisung):** i don’t i just have nothing better to do

 **ugly (jisung):** and you’re the only one here who got laid yesterday bc chan is a grandpa and i got stuck with the cat guy so i didn’t even get a chance

 **ugly (jisung):** i could have scored him too you know if you weren’t such a showoff

 **ugly (jisung):** i saw you taking off your sweater and flexing your arms when he talked about your tattoos

 **ugly (jisung):** you looked like a het tbh

 **changbin:** well i work on these bad boys for a reason

 **changbin:** anyways you can try next time if you want

 **ugly (jisung):** what you don’t want a next time?

 **ugly (jisung):** is it because he’s bad in bed?

 **changbin:** no

 **changbin:** he was actually very good

 **changbin:** but you’re right he _is_ a brat

 **ugly (jisung):** i knew it… my mind ugh

 **ugly (jisung):** honestly i dont even know why you went for him he’s so not your type

 **changbin:** oh and what is my type?

 **changbin:** please enlighten me

 **bangchan:** tall buff dudes who can manhandle you

 **changbin:** CHAN WHAT THE HELL

 **changbin:** i thought you had this groupchat muted

 **bangchan:** i would never do that

 **bangchan:** i just ignore it when i see jisung being too loud

 **ugly (jisung):** rude but dshjfhdsglkdglg

 **ugly (jisung):** did he lie tho?????

 **changbin:** about you being loud all the fucking time? no

 **changbin:** about my type… i dont know i cant read

 **changbin:** but i don’t mean he was a brat in bed i mean he is a brat. period.

 **changbin:** and i dont like spoiled brats

 **ugly (jisung):** sounds like there’s something more there

 **bangchan:** something you’re not telling us? :(

 **changbin:** no

 **bangchan:** well if you don’t wanna talk about it it’s ok <3

 **bangchan:** but we’re here for you

 **ugly (jisung):** im here now but i may not be here later

 **ugly (jisung):** your choice

 **changbin:** seriously it’s nothing

 **changbin:** we went to his house

 **ugly (jisung):** OMG

 **changbin:** i thought we were alone

 **changbin:** and this morning we wanted to have breakfast so he was like ok well my parents are in the kitchen

 **changbin:** and then he said i’ll introduce you

 **changbin:** i was like what

 **changbin:** i just met you yesterday you’re not my boyfriend wtf

 **changbin:** but you know how sometimes people have… healthy relantionships with their parents??? and they tell each other stuff???

 **changbin:** so i said okay

 **changbin:** and it was not only the most awkward experience of my fucking life

 **changbin:** but they also made me feel like a worthless piece of shit?

 **changbin:** the way they talked about me

 **changbin:** like i was so cute for trying to make something of myself

 **changbin:** but they knew i would never be like them

 **changbin:** like i would WANT to

 **changbin:** i would sooner throw myself over a bridge

 **changbin:** and i mean i can understand if your parents are big assholes but hyunjin kept talking about me like he was saying look mom i’m soooo bad for hooking up with him

 **changbin:** idk it looked like having me there was just his way of throwing a fit

 **ugly (jisung):** i see

 **ugly (jisung):** so he’s a JERK and we’re never talking about him ever again

 **ugly (jisung):** fuck him

 **bangchan** : yeah honestly… fuck him

 **changbin:** idk i’m sorry i didn’t want to say anything bc he’s felix’s friend

 **changbin:** and felix is your friend and he actually seems nice

 **bangchan:** felix is felix and hyunjin is hyunjin

 **bangchan:** and jisung’s right he’s a jerk

 **bangchan:** and i’m really sorry you had to listen to all that bullshit

 **bangchan:** like??? they probably can’t even wipe their asses without calling their Butler???

 **bangchan:** fuck them rich assholes

 **ugly (jisung):** YES CHAN GO PROLETARIAT KING

 **ugly (jisung):** im kidding but yeah he’s right basically fuck them

 **changbin:** fhkdsgjdkg

 **changbin:** thanks guys

 **changbin:** seriously <3

**_Sunday, 15:00_ **

**minho is catboy**

**minho:** mmmm hello?

 **minho:** @hyunjin where the fuck are you

 **minho:** i thought i’d wake up to a full story time and this is what i get?

 **minho:** im disappointed

 **jeonginnie:** me TOO @hyunjin

 **seungminnie:** you failed us @hyunjin

 **minho:** you betrayed me for this @hyunjin

 **jeonginnie:** i got yelled at by my mom for staying up late for THIS @hyunjin

 **seungminnie:** wait seriously? you said you were going to sleep at like 00:30

 **jeonginnie:** and??? i had other things to do so i stayed until… 2

 **seungminnie:** what things

 **jeonginnie:** other things??? why do you care

 **seungminnie:** did you stay up late playing candy crush Again

 **jeonginnie:** no……….

 **jeonginnie:** anyways this isnt about me!!! @hyunjin!!!!

 **cutie lix:** guys leave him alone

 **cutie lix:** he’s probably sleeping

 **cutie lix:** or he doesn’t want to talk about it

 **minho:** well thats fucking rude i was the one that had to put up with the squirrel guy all night so he could get laid

 **minho:** he owes me

 **minho:** hyunjin start spilling or else

 **cutie lix:** hey jisung’s not that bad… i thought he was funny

 **cutie lix:** and i saw you laughing with him so

 **jeonginnie:** oh he laughed? 👀

 **minho:** felix dont expose me in front of the kids

 **minho:** this is about @hyunjin

 **hyunjin:** if you guys @ me one more time i swear to god

 **hyunjin:** what the fuck do you want minho

 **jeonginnie:** yaaaaaaay hyunjin :D

 **seungminnie:** were you still sleeping? at 3pm?

 **minho:** WE WANT THE DEETS

 **minho:** we need an explanation for your poor taste in men

 **hyunjin:** there’s no explanation required

 **hyunjin:** i have an impeccable taste in men

 **hyunjin:** unlike yours

 **hyunjin:** how did it go with the squirrel?

 **minho:** you bitch

 **minho:** it went FINE

 **minho:** how did it go with the midget?

 **cutie lix:** are you seriously fighting over chan’s friends

 **cutie lix:** this is ridiculous

 **hyunjin:** minho is ridiculous

 **hyunjin:** but anyways if you guys wanna know the details soooo bad

 **hyunjin:** yes we went to my house

 **hyunjin:** yes he let me top

 **hyunjin:** and yes he has a nice dick

 **hyunjin:** anything else?

 **seungminnie:** literally no one asked about his dick but ok

 **jeonginnie:** GROSS

 **cutie lix:** he let you top that sounds hot tbh

 **minho:** i care about his dick thank you very much

 **minho:** so? are you gonna meet him again?

 **hyunjin:** he doesn’t want to talk to me so what do you think

 **minho:** wait whaaaaat why

 **cutie lix:** :(

 **hyunjin:** i literally don’t know

 **hyunjin:** and im so fucking annoyed like?? the hell did i do

 **minho:** oh so you DO want to meet him again

 **hyunjin:** no?? i don’t care??? but i care that he’s pissed and i don’t know why

 **cutie lix:** maybe he’s not pissed maybe he’s one of those guys that are like

 **cutie lix:** uhhh *male voice* i dont do relationships *spits on the floor* *lights up a cigarette*

 **seungminnie:** oh you mean minho?

 **jeonginnie:** sjfhsdkghsdlkg

 **minho:** shut up kid this is an adults ONLY conversation

 **hyunjin:** idk… he was so nice this morning like let’s get breakfast and everything

 **hyunjin:** he even met my parents

 **seungminnie:** he met your DAD?

 **hyunjin:** yeah and my mom

 **hyunjin:** why?

 **seungiminnie:** you.... _do_ know your mom and dad, right?

 **minho:** yeah i don’t think they’d be too excited to meet the guy who ate his son 2 hours ago

 **minho:** but i mean that’s just my opinion

 **jeonginnie:** WHY WOULD YOU INTRODUCE HIM TO YOUR PARENTS

 **jeonginnie:** even i know that’s a big nono

 **cute lix:** they got a point

 **hyunjin:** i dont know we went downstairs to have breakfast and they were in the kitchen??

 **hyunjin:** what was i supposed to do

 **minho:** but did you know your parents were home

 **hyunjin:** yeah i figured

 **minho:** then why the fuck did you take him home

 **minho:** you could’ve gone to his house

 **hyunjin:** idk we didn’t think about it??

 **hyunjin:** we were horny so i said lets go home and i called an uber

 **minho:** ok but this morning? if you knew your parents were home why did you take him to the kitchen they were obviously going to see him

 **minho:** and if we know how they’re gonna react then you know too

 **hyunjin:** what else could i have done make him leave through the window???

 **minho:** idk it just seems weird

 **minho:** that this is like the first guy you introduce to your parents

 **minho:** and it’s HIM

 **hyunjin:** what do you mean

 **minho:** tattoos everywhere

 **minho:** looks like he kills for money

 **minho:** probably still lives in one of those one room dorms and has leftover pizza for breakfast every morning

 **minho:** ew

 **minho:** i literally got goosebumps just thinking about it

 **jeonginnie:** ew indeed

 **hyunjin:** you’re a bitch

 **hyunjin:** and you’re jealous i got laid while you didn’t

 **seungminnie:** wait

 **seungminnie:** i connected the dots

 **seungminnie:** did you take him home because you got into a fight with your dad yesterday?

 **seungminnie:** and you wanted to piss him off?

 **hyunjin:** no i did not????

 **minho:** OH MY GOD HE TOTALLY DID

 **minho:** see i KNEW your taste couldn’t be THAT bad

 **jeonginnie:** wow hyunjin i did not expect that from you :(

 **cutie lix:** guys c’mon… he wouldn’t do that

 **minho:** stop being so in love with him for a sec and admit that we’re right

 **minho:** he can be a bitch if he wants to

 **hyunjin:** you’re all so fucking dumb

 **hyunjin:** bye

* * *

**_Thursday, 17:05_ **

**hyunjin:** are you coming to pick up the sweater or not?????

 **hyunjin:** felix!!!!!

 **cutie lix:** wait that was TODAY???????

 **cutie lix:** well FUCK

 **hyunjin:** yes it was today

 **cutie lix:** AND IT’S 5PM

 **hyunjin:** yeah and?

 **cutie lix:** I SAID TO MEET UP AT 5PM

 **hyunjin:** then hurry up and come here

 **cutie lix:** i literally can’t i’m not in seoul

 **hyunjin:** what do you mean you’re not in seoul where are you

 **cutie lix:** my dad’s on a business trip this week and my mom felt lonely so we took a plane to jeju this morning

 **cutie lix:** we’re supposed to be ~relaxing~ away from the city and all that stuff they tell her in yoga class

 **cutie lix:** i totally forgot about chan we talked about it so long ago (┬┬﹏┬┬)

 **hyunjin:** ugh okay then just come over this weekend

 **hyunjin:** im sick of having to look at it every time i open my closet

 **cutie lix:** no chan’s probably waiting there already!!!!

 **cutie lix:** can you please go for me?

 **hyunjin:** no i cannot?????

 **cutie lix:** fuck my mom’s getting pissed at me for being on the phone

 **cutie lix:** pleaseeee just go i swear he’s a nice guy and he’s not gonna say a word please please please

 **cutie lix:** we were going to meet up in that fancy starbucks in hongdae

 **cutie lix:** i gotta go now please GO thank you i love you bye!!

 **hyunjin:** FELIX NO

 **hyunjin:** felix come back here

 **hyunjin:** i don’t wanna gooooooooooooo

 **hyunjin:** ughhhhhhh i hate you

 **hyunjin:** ok FINE but only bc i wanna get rid of it

 **hyunjin:** you owe me

**_Thursday, 17:07_ **

**bangchan:** changbin i need a favor

 **changbin:** no im not going with you for burger king fries right now

 **bangchan:** it’s not that

 **bangchan:** could’ve been tho

 **bangchan:** but no i need you to go meet felix he was going to give me your sweater today but i can’t make it

 **bangchan:** i fell asleep bc we finished so fucking late yesterday and now my sister called saying she needs my help with some stuff

 **changbin:** what stuff

 **changbin:** sounds weird

 **bangchan:** i told you she’s moving out right? i promised i would help her but i didn’t know i had to help her Today

 **bangchan:** it’s kinda important

 **bangchan:** please Please you’re probably not even doing anything right now

 **changbin:** rude

 **changbin:** but true

 **bangchan:** i was supposed to be there at 5 he’s probably waiting i feel so bad ;_;

 **changbin:** ughhhhh

 **changbin:** yeah okay i’ll go

 **changbin:** it’s my sweater after all

 **changbin:** and felix seems cool

 **changbin:** but you’re paying the taxi

 **bangchan:** sure!!!!

 **bangchan:** we were going to meet here

 **bangchan:** [location attached]

 **bangchan:** thank you so much i’ll tell felix you’re coming

 **changbin:** k

 **changbin:** and you’re buying me dinner too bc my fridge is empty <3

**_Thursday, 17:09_ **

**chan:** felix!!!! oh my god i’m so sorry you’re probably already there

 **chan:** but i can’t make it :(

 **chan:** i’m so so sorry i kind of fell asleep

 **chan:** and now my sister needs some help with the new house and i promised her

 **chan:** but don’t worry i sent changbin!!!

 **chan:** he’ll be there in like 20 minutes tops

 **chan:** i’m so sorry :(

 **chan:** i’ll make it up to you we can go for dinner this weekend and maybe watch a movie?

**_Thursday, 17:45_ **

**felix:** YOU SENT CHANGBIN?

 **felix:** OH MY GOD I SENT HYUNJIN

 **channie <3: ** WHAT

**_Thursday, 17:46_ **

**minho is catboy**

**hyunjin:** SO I WAS SUPPOSED TO MEET CHAN AND GIVE HIM THE FUCKING SWEATER

 **hyunjin:** GUESS WHO’S THERE

 **hyunjin:** CHANGBIN

 **minho:** THE THRILLING SAGA CONTINUES

 **hyunjin:** felix if you read this i’m going to Kword you

 **jeonginnie:** kiss him because you get to see your crush one more time?

 **hyunjin:** KILL

 **hyunjin:** fuck i think he saw me

**_Thursday, 17:47_ **

**3RACHA BOIS**

**changbin:** christopher i am going to END YOU

 **ugly (jisung):** what??????

 **ugly (jisung):** what did i miss

 **changbin:** apparently i’m meeting hyunjin in approximately 10 seconds

 **ugly (jisung):** WHAT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> personally i think hyunjin is a rat but he's like, my rat
> 
> comments are always appreciated
> 
> [twt](https://twitter.com/noirxses)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> > **bangchan:** they’re probably together right now
>> 
>> **bangchan** : maybe killing each other
>> 
>> **bangchan:** who knows
>> 
>> **ugly (jisung):** SOUNDS SEXY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one took longer because writing. Hard. 
> 
> i've re-read this and re-typed this a thousand times and i'm still not entirely happy but i had to stop at one point and post it. forgive me if there's typos!
> 
> please enjoy!!

The clock neared 6pm when he arrived, and the place was almost empty. It was strange, he thought. Hyunjin had been there a couple of times before, whenever Felix insisted that they should experience life outside their bubble and hang out somewhere new, and he only remembered it being full of people coming from and going to the counter every minute.

He had hated the noise. Baristas were screaming names and thank yous, girls were shouting excitedly as they told each other the latest gossip and boys laughed so loud they engulfed all of the other sounds.

Now, though, there were five people at most, and the only thing you could hear was the sound of laptop keys being pressed furiously.

A black t-shirt and a black cap caught his attention instantly. He turned his head to look at him. The boy was obliviously looking through the window, probably cursing inwardly at Felix for coming so late. Hyunjin himself was cursing at Felix, typing at his phone as fast as he could. When he lifted his gaze again, Changbin was already staring at him.

Hyunjin then paused and breathed for a minute, going through his choices. He wondered how ridiculous and dramatic it would be if he just turned around and run away; maybe throw the damned sweater in a trashcan while he escaped, making sure he wouldn’t have to see Changbin ever again. He wasn’t sure what he would be running away from, but there was something in the boy’s gaze that made him feel like he had done something horribly wrong. And _that_ scared him. Ever since he was little, he had hated people being angry at him, whatever the reason, and it was hard for him to actually _go_ and _confront_ the person. Seungmin always told him how childish that was, but he didn’t mind being childish if that prevented him from being hurt.

Oh, how he wished he could be childish right now.

But after little thought and much imagining all the different ways Minho would laugh at him if he found out he ran away, he figured he should go with the grown-up option for once. He told himself that he wasn’t a coward, which was not entirely true, but maybe if he repeated it enough he would believe it for a minute or two. Their conversation wasn’t going to last that much either way.

Each step he took brought him closer to where Changbin was sitting, and it gave him the opportunity to notice the little details. The older boy was holding a steaming cup of coffee between his hands, as if he were cold when it was 30 degrees outside. Strands of hair came out of his cap, slightly curled, and it somehow softened the hard features of his face. The black t-shirt he was wearing said “Leo” with a big yellow symbol on his left side. It reminded him of Felix always talking about lunar signs and first houses and things he just didn’t understand. The only thing he knew about astrology was that he was a Pisces, and Felix said Pisces men were annoying.

He couldn’t help but wonder how he himself looked. Jeans, a plain white t-shirt and unbrushed hair that kept getting in his face, so he had to push it back every five minutes. A pair of specs were added last minute when he saw how puffed his face was, but that was it. If he knew he was going to meet Changbin, maybe he would’ve chosen something more sophisticated.

Hyunjin didn’t want to think that the older looked angry, but he also couldn’t deny it. His jaw was set and his brow slightly furrowed; the somber expression on his face augured a storm he wasn’t ready for. Drawing the tiniest smile on his lips, as if that would save him, he took a seat in front of him. 

“Hi”, he finally said.

“Did Chan set you up to this? I thought I was meeting Felix”, was his immediate response. He sounded more annoyed than angry, but it still made him feel like it was wrong of him to have come.

“Yeah well, I thought I was meeting Chan, so they’ve scammed us both”, he replied jokingly, trying to ease the tension between them.

“Why would they even— You know what, never mind”, Changbin cut himself with a sigh. “Did you bring the sweater?”

“Yes, it’s here”. He handed him the bag and Changbin took it with a nod.

“Great, thanks, then I’m going”. He got up and picked his coffee, not even sparing him a glance, and Hyunjin almost didn’t have time to react.

“Wait, Changbin. Can we talk?”, he asked. He didn’t know where that spark of bravery came from, but he did know that he didn’t want the boy to leave. Not without getting some answers first.

“I don’t think we have anything to talk about”, was his reply. He had turned to look at him in the eye, and Hyunjin understood now what Minho meant with “looks like he kills for money”.

It annoyed him to no end. He was trying to be mature. He needed Changbin to do the same.

“Would you stop being a dick for a second and just sit down? Please? I literally have no clue why you’re so angry with me”. There was impatience in his voice, and maybe he looked pitiful too because he got Changbin to sit down again.

He waited for him to talk first. It took him a while.

“Look”, he began, “it doesn’t matter if I’m angry or not, okay? It was just a hookup. You don’t owe me anything and I don’t have to explain myself to you. If you want me to say we had a nice time, then sure, we had. But that’s it”.

“No, that’s not it. Why did you leave like that? Did I do something wrong? Did you hate my parents that much?”, Hyunjin asked insistently. It’s not that he liked being the whiny type, and he hated showing that side of him —least of all to Changbin—, but the situation had kept on bothering him ever since that awful morning and he knew this was going to be his only chance to find out _why_.

There was a pause, a silence in which Changbin looked like he was rewinding and playing that memory again in his mind. His jaw tightened, but it loosened right after. He still didn’t say anything, not for the longest minute, and Hyunjin thought he was going to leave again without answering his questions.

“Actually, I did. They were kind of jerks, but I doubt you noticed it since you were being a jerk yourself”, he finally spat out. “But you know what? I don’t care, Hyunjin, and neither should you. I already told you, we don’t know each other, we don’t owe each other anything.” He got up for the last time, hard gaze and even harsher words coming next. “Next time do us all a favor and don’t mess with other people if you just want to mess with your daddy”.

Changbin turned around and left.

Hyunjin stayed silent, watching him from the café’s window as he crossed the street. The older boy’s frame got smaller and smaller until it almost disappeared. When he could no longer see him, he decided it was time to leave.

* * *

**_Thursday, 17:50_ **

**minho is catboy**

**minho:** WHATS HAPPENING

 **felix:** OH MY GOD HYUNJIN IM SO SORRY

 **felix:** FUCK

**3RACHA BOIS**

**ugly (jisung):** WHAT IS HAPPENING CHANGBIN RESPOND

 **bangchan:** CHANGBIN I SWEAR I DIDN’T DO IT ON PURPOSE

 **bangchan:** FUCK IM SORRY

**_Thursday, 17:52_ **

**felix <3: **how bad do you think we fucked up

 **chan:** a lot bad i think

 **chan:** fuck i feel so bad

 **chan:** so so so bad :/

 **felix <3:** yeah me too…

 **felix <3:** i would never do that to hyunjin and i think he knows but what if he doesn’t know

 **felix <3:** or what if he doesn’t care and hates me forever

 **felix <3:** actually that’s not the problem i’m being selfish

 **felix <3:** do you think changbin killed him?

 **chan:** why would changbin kill him

 **chan:** i could ask you the same question

 **chan:** do you think hyunjin killed him?

 **felix <3:** no hyunjin wouldn’t hurt a fly

 **felix <3:** im just saying, changbin’s the one that seemed angry the other day…

 **chan:** yeah

 **felix <3:** and like im not asking you to tell me anything if you even know what happened because it’s not my business

 **felix <3: **im just worried :(

 **chan:** its okay lix i get it

 **chan:** i’m worried too

 **chan:** but i’m sure it went fine

 **chan:** right?

**_Thursday, 18:00_ **

**3RACHA BOIS**

**ugly (jisung):** its been a whole 10 minutes what the fuck is going on

 **ugly (jisung):** did you guys hook up again????????

 **ugly (jisung):** at least tell me what happened @bangchan

 **bangchan:** i was supposed to meet felix today but something came up and i asked changbin if he could go instead but apparently felix couldn’t make it either so he asked hyunjin…

 **bangchan:** they’re probably together right now

 **bangchan** : maybe killing each other

 **bangchan:** who knows

 **ugly (jisung):** SOUNDS SEXY

 **ugly (jisung):** why didn’t you tell felix changbin was going instead??

 **bangchan:** i did!!!!! but he didn’t read my messages bc he’s on a spiritual trip with his mom or something

 **ugly (jisung):** rich people really be like that huh

 **ugly (jisung):** no but seriously chan you’re fucking dumb but i guess it’s not entirely your fault

 **ugly (jisung):** @changbin kill him quickly and tell us what happened king

**_Thursday, 18:00_ **

**minho is catboy**

**jeonginnie:** HYUNJIN DID THE UGLY MAN KILL YOU????

 **jeonginnie:** wait if hyunjin’s dead can i keep his switch

 **seungminnie:** no because he’s not dead

 **seungminnie:** also you already have your own switch

 **jeonginnie** : but i want the animal crossing version!!!

 **seungminnie:** then buy it yourself?

 **jeonginnie:** my mom won’t let me she says i already got one :(

 **minho:** anyways

 **minho:** @hyunjin please come thru

 **seungminnie:** @cutie lix why are they together?

 **seungminnie:** is this about the sweater thing?

 **cutie lix:** ugh guys my mom won’t let me use my phone for more than 5 minutes i’m going crazy

 **cutie lix:** ok first of all tell hyunjin i’m sorry

 **cutie lix:** HYUNJIN IM SO SORRY I SWEAR I DIDN’T KNOW

| **seungminnie:** @cutie lix can you explain why they’re together?

 **cutie lix:** i forgot that i was meeting chan today and i told my mom we could go to jeju and then i Realized so i told hyunjin if he could go instead and it turns out that chan couldn’t go either so he told changbin T_T

 **cutie lix:** i feel so bad i’m so sorry T____T

 **cutie lix:** and i need to go bc my mom’s yelling at me again

 **cutie lix:** @hyunjin please forgive meeeeeeeeee T_T

 **minho:** so chan and lix share the same braincell

 **seungminnie:** half a braincell actually

 **seungminnie:** this is so cliché

 **seungminnie:** are you sure you guys didn’t plan this?

 **jeonginnie:** THIS IS SCRIPT CONVENIENCE

 **seungminnie:** do you even know what that means

 **jeonginnie:** excuse me i am a man of culture

 **seungminnie:** no you’re not

 **jeonginnie:** yes I Am

 **seungminnie:** i gave you a book for your birthday did you read it? or even started it?

 **jeonginnie:** i read the preface so YES

 **seungminnie:** prefaces are like 2 pages long

 **minho:** jeongin i am a proud father

**_Thursday, 18:05_ **

**3RACHA BOIS**

**changbin:** i lived bitch

 **ugly (jisung):** YES YOU DID

 **ugly (jisung):** now tell us everything

 **bangchan:** changbin please don’t hate me

 **changbin:** shut up you snake

 **changbin:** you owe me dinner for a month

 **changbin:** you rat

 **ugly (jisung):** stop it with the animal comparisons

 **ugly (jisung):** how did it go what did you talk about

 **ugly (jisung):** did you hook up or not?????

 **changbin:** obviously not????

 **ugly (jisung):** boring

 **bangchan:** changbin :( im sorry :(

 **bangchan:** i swear i didn’t know about hyunjin i wouldn’t have sent you there if i did

 **changbin:** ugh relax

 **changbin:** i didn’t die

 **changbin:** and i got to see his face when i called him an asshole

 **changbin:** so there’s that

 **ugly (jisung):** you called him what sjfdhdskgg

 **bangchan:** what

 **changbin:** he gave me my sweater and i said ok bye

 **changbin:** but he said he wanted to talk and kept asking what he did wrong

 **changbin:** mayhaps i called him a jerk

 **changbin:** and his parents too

 **ugly (jisung):** you called his parents jerks????

 **ugly (jisung):** GO BEST FRIEND THAT’S MY BEST FRIEND

 **bangchan:** wow and what did he say?

 **changbin:** idk i left

 **changbin:** he looked sad

 **changbin:** and i felt bad for a sec

 **changbin:** but whatever it’s not like i’m gonna see him again so

 **ugly (jisung):** unless chan tricks you again

 **bangchan:** i didn’t do it on purpose!!!!

 **changbin:** its ok i forgive u

 **changbin:** at least i got my sweater back

 **changbin:** it kinda smells like him tho

 **changbin:** ew

 **ugly (jisung):** oh so you remember what he smells like

 **ugly (jisung):** i see 👀📝

 **changbin:** shut up

**_Thursday, 18:15_ **

**minho is catboy**

**hyunjin:** he called me a jerk

 **hyunjin:** actually he called my mom and dad jerks and then he said i’m a jerk too

 **minho:** oh no he didn’t

 **minho:** i hope you kicked his ugly ass

 **minho:** if you didn’t i’ll do it

 **minho:** and if you did i’ll do it again

 **jeonginnie:** ok context????? why did he say that???

 **hyunjin:** i gave him the sweater and then i asked him if i did something wrong

 **hyunjin:** bc he was being rude

 **hyunjin:** then he called me a jerk

 **hyunjin:** and left

 **seungminnie:** are you okay?

 **hyunjin:** idk

 **seungminnie:** do you want me to call you?

 **hyunjin:** no its okay i’m almost home

 **hyunjin:** i feel bad but like i’m not entirely sure why?

 **hyunjin:** ugh

 **minho:** that’s what you get for having feelings

 **cutie lix:** HYUNJIN IM SORRY

 **hyunjin:** it’s okay lix

 **hyunjin:** it’s not your fault

 **cutie lix:** i gotta go again but im really really sorry about what happened :(

 **hyunjin:** don’t worry

 **seungminnie:** want us to come to your house and hang out?

 **hyunjin:** actually

 **hyunjin:** yeah that would be great

 **hyunjin:** maybe we can watch something so i don’t have to think about him

 **seungminnie:** sure

 **jeonginnie:** yes!!!!

 **minho:** ok but don’t make me watch another episode of Itaewon class or i’ll kill you

 **hyunjin:** fine

 **hyunjin:** hotel del luna then

 **minho:** NO

 **hyunjin:** i’m home you can come whenever you want <3

* * *

**_Saturday, 11:30_ **

**seungminnie:** you’re leaving next month?

 **seungminnie:** were you ever planning on telling us?

 **hyunjin:** fuck seungmin

 **hyunjin:** who told you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok i want to point out a typo from last chapter i discovered while writing this: minho's contact name in hyunjin's phone changed from lee minho to minho and that wasn't intentional, i'm just dumb. but let's act as if it was!
> 
> comments are always appreciated, i'm curious abt what you think!
> 
> [twt](https://twitter.com/noirxses)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> > **minho:** wtf you can’t go
>> 
>> **minho:** you’re leaving me alone with the kids???????

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last chapter i forgot to add the "2 weeks later" so. yeah.
> 
> pls enjoy

**_(2 weeks later)_ **

**_Saturday, 11:30_  
  
**

**seungminnie:** so you’re leaving next month?

 **seungminnie:** were you ever planning on telling us?

 **hyunjin:** fuck seungmin

 **hyunjin:** who told you?

 **seungminnie:** my mom

 **seungminnie:** your mom talked about it on pilates class

 **seungminnie:** she told me when she came home

 **seungminnie:** and i had to act as if i knew about it?

 **seungminnie:** because apparently you’ve told your parents that we know?

 **seungminnie:** when we obviously don’t know?

 **seungminnie:** what the fuck hyunjin

 **hyunjin:** i’m sorry

 **hyunjin:** i didn’t want you to find out like this

 **seungminnie:** and how did you want us to find out exactly?

 **seungminnie:** with a text message sent from boston?

 **hyunjin:** no

 **hyunjin:** a text message the day before catching the plane so i at least get to say goodbye

 **seungminnie:** are you serious

 **hyunjin:** yes

 **hyunjin:** no

 **hyunjin:** i don’t know

 **hyunjin:** fuck i just

 **hyunjin:** my dad told me a week ago

 **hyunjin:** and i swear you were the first person i wanted to tell

 **hyunjin:** but i couldn’t

 **hyunjin:** i didn’t know what to say

 **hyunjin:** i didn’t want to talk about it

 **hyunjin:** im sorry

 **seungminnie:** fuck

 **seungminnie:** i don’t know what say honestly

 **seungminnie:** i can’t process

 **seungminnie:** you’re really leaving?

 **seungminnie:** what about those auditions you talked about?

 **hyunjin:** i didn’t pass

 **hyunjin:** like i didn’t pass the other 5 before them

 **hyunjin:** so yeah i guess i’m really leaving

 **hyunjin:** i’m tired of trying

 **hyunjin:** i’ll just go and study whatever the fuck my dad wants

 **seungminnie:** fuck… im sorry jinnie

 **seungminnie:** wait i’ll call you

**_Saturday, 12:45_ **

**minho is catboy**

**minho:** why is my mom saying that you’re leaving next month @hyunjin

 **jeonginnie:** my mom just said the same thing?????? what????

 **cutie lix:** yeah mine told me like 5 minutes ago we were still talking about it :/

 **jeonginnie:** wait did we all find out at the same time?

 **jeonginnie:** how

 **minho:** pilates

 **cutie lix:** pilates

 **jeonginnie:** oh right

 **cutie lix:** but is it true??

 **minho:** explain @hyunjin

 **| _cutie lix:_** _but is it true?_

 **hyunjin:** uhm yeah

 **hyunjin:** my dad told me last week

 **hyunjin:** i’m sorry i didn’t tell you guys… i just didn’t know how or when

 **hyunjin:** i’m really sorry

 **jeonginnie:** wait what???? you’re really going to the us???? why????

 **cutie lix:** hyunjin… :(

 **minho:** wtf you can’t go

 **minho:** you’re leaving me alone with the kids???????

 **seungminnie:** just let him explain

 **hyunjin:** there’s not much to explain tbh

 **hyunjin:** you know we were always fighting bc he wants me to study abroad

 **hyunjin:** he’s obsessed with me getting into some ivy league uni

 **hyunjin:** and i always thought it wasn’t possible?? like how??

 **hyunjin:** you’ve seen my grades they suck

 **hyunjin:** plus i’ve spent more than a year doing nothing trying to pass auditions

 **hyunjin:** but i guess he knows someone

 **hyunjin:** or he spent all his money getting me in

 **hyunjin:** or both i don’t actually know bc i didn’t ask

 **hyunjin:** but yeah last week he told me i got in

 **hyunjin:** harvard business school, classes start next month

 **hyunjin:** we had a big fight

 **hyunjin:** he called me a useless piece of shit

 **hyunjin:** and…that’s basically it

 **minho:** no offense but your dad’s a fucking asshole

 **seungminnie:** 👆

 **jeonginnie:** you’re seriously going???????

 **jeonginnie:** what about dancing????

 **jeonginnie:** can’t you just say no???

 **cutie lix:** didn’t your mom say anything?

 **minho:** why can’t you go to snu like the rest of us?

 **hyunjin:** i told you he’s obsessed

 **hyunjin:** i think he just wants me to do what he couldn’t

 **hyunjin:** and he said something about me taking over the branch he opened in new york

 **hyunjin:** not immediately after i finish business school but i guess in the future

 **| _jeonginnie:_** _can’t you just say no???_

 **hyunjin:** i’ve tried saying no

 **hyunjin:** that’s why i’m always fighting with him and it’s useless

 **| _cutie lix:_** _didn’t your mom say anything??_

 **hyunjin:** my mom did enough last year when she convinced him to let me try auditioning

 **hyunjin:** she doesn’t want me to go but the decision’s not hers

 **hyunjin:** my dad was pretty clear

 **hyunjin:** either i go or he kicks me out

 **jeonginnie:** he said that????

 **seungminnie:** i really wish i could punch him

 **minho:** i am going to kill him what the fuck

 **minho:** he would kick you out of the house??? is he fucking insane??

 **cutie lix:** fuck just leave that house

 **cutie lix:** come stay at mine

 **cutie lix:** you know my mom loves you

 **jeonginnie:** but what about dancing!!!!!!!!

 **hyunjin:** thanks lix

 **hyunjin:** but i don’t think my dad would like that very much

 **hyunjin:** and i don’t want to cause you guys any trouble

 **hyunjin:** i’m serious

 **hyunjin:** i know it’s fucked up and it sucks but…yeah it’s just how it is

 **| _jeonginnie:_** but what about dancing!!!!!!!!

 **hyunjin:** i didn’t pass the auditions

 **hyunjin:** it doesn’t matter

 **hyunjin:** i was never serious about it

 **hyunjin:** people are insanely good and i suck

 **hyunjin:** so that’s it

 **hyunjin:** at least now i know what to do with my life

 **hyunjin:** just don’t kick me out of the groupchat when i leave

 **minho:** shut the fuck up hyunjin

 **minho:** i’m so fucking pissed at your dad

 **minho:** i wish i could do _something_ you know

 **seungminnie:** yeah…

 **jeonginnie:** i’m just sad…

 **jeonginnie:** you’ll come home for Christmas right????

 **cutie lix:** i’m pissed too like what the fuck

 **_| hyunjin:_ ** _and i suck_

 **cutie lix:** what do you mean you suck

 **cutie lix:** you don’t suck!!!

 **cutie lix:** we’ve all seen you dancing and you’re really talented!!!!!

 **cutie lix:** you just can’t see it!!!!

 **cutie lix:** or don’t want to see it at this point i’m not sure

 **cutie lix:** you’ve only tried a few companies there’s still more

 **cutie lix:** you shouldn’t give up :(

 **seungminnie:** yeah he’s right hyunjin you’re really good

 **jeonginnie:** true!!!

 **jeonginnie:** and i thought it was like, your dream

 **minho:** you can’t give up

 **minho:** there’ll be more auditions

 **minho:** you need to try everything hyunjin not just accept whatever the fuck your dad wants you to do

 **hyunjin:** guys just. Stop

 **hyunjin:** it doesn’t matter if you think i’m good other people don’t think i’m good

 **hyunjin:** i wasted a year trying and i’m tired

 **hyunjin:** i stopped practicing a while ago

 **hyunjin:** it was okay as a hobbie but nothing more will come out of it so what’s the point

 **hyunjin:** i need to stop wasting my time

 **minho:** that’s literally your dad talking right now

 **minho:** but go off i guess

 **jeonginnie:** i don’t think you’re wasting your time if you’re doing something that makes you happy…

 **cutie lix:** hyunjin? seriously????

 **cutie lix:** so you’ve already accepted your dad’s decision? just like that?

 **hyunjin:** i don’t know

 **hyunjin:** it’s hard to wrap my mind about it but

 **hyunjin:** i think that maybe… it’s easier if i just accept it?

 **hyunjin:** my biggest concern was telling you guys

 **hyunjin:** so i guess it’s okay now

 **seungminnie:** you literally just spent a whole hour crying while talking with me on the phone

 **seungminnie:** don’t say you’re okay bc you don’t want us to worry

 **seungminnie:** we’re worried either way

 **seungminnie:** and we’re here for you okay?

 **cutie lix:** yeah :( anything you need we’re here

 **jeonginnie:** we can kidnap you if you want

 **jeonginnie:** and you can live in my basement

 **jeonginnie:** like eleven in stranger things

 **hyunjin:** sjdhsjf shut up innie

 **minho:** or we can get rid of your dad if you want

 **hyunjin:** MINHO

 **hyunjin:** i know you would actually do it if i say yes

 **hyunjin:** ily <3

 **minho:** ofc i would do it

 **cutie lix:** how about we get together tonight?

 **cutie lix:** we can have dinner at my house my parents are going to some stupid party

 **cutie lix:** and maybe go out after dinner? if you want to?

 **cutie lix:** also yes this is 100% an excuse to smother hyunjin with kisses and hugs so you can’t say no @hyunjin

 **jeonginnie:** yes!!!!!!!!!! sleepover at lix’s house!!!!!!!

 **cutie lix:** i didn’t say anything about sleeping here

 **cutie lix:** but that’s a great idea!!!!!!!

 **minho:** ugh

 **minho:** okay

 **seungminnie:** we haven’t done that in a while

 **seungminnie:** i miss minho sleep talking

 **minho:** shut it

 **hyunjin:** guys i told you you don’t need to cheer me up or anything…

 **hyunjin:** plus it’s a saturday

 **hyunjin:** everyone’s gonna be at Lilac

 **hyunjin:** and they’re gonna be staring at me bc i bet my mom told everyone’s mom not just yours

 **hyunjin:** and what if they actually talk to me???

 **seungminnie:** we can go somewhere else

 **seungminnie:** we always go to Lilac

 **cutie lix:** yes!!! let’s go somewhere else

 **cutie lix:** somewhere in the city!!!

 **cutie lix:** chan says itaewon’s great at night

 **cutie lix:** actually fuck dinner at my place!!! let’s go wherever eat whatever and drink until the sun comes out :D

 **cutie lix:** but don’t tell your mom that @jeonginnie

 **cutie lix:** just tell her you’re sleeping at my house

 **jeonginnie:** you guys…you’re actually taking me with you for a night out???????

 **jeonginnie:** i think i’m gonna cry

 **minho:** i finally get to teach you my ways… jeongin get ready

 **hyunjin:** mission for tonight: don’t leave jeongin alone with minho

 **hyunjin:** he’ll kill our son

 **minho:** excuse me

 **minho:** i’m the one that’s always making sure you guys are having fun

 **minho:** and you treat me like this

 **minho:** innie don’t listen to them

 **hyunjin:** the first time we went out together you started that stupid “lets see who can last longer drinking tequila” competition and i ended up passed out on the floor

 **minho:** that’s bc you’re a lightweight

 **minho:** i had fun tho

 **cutie lix:** oh god i remember that

 **cutie lix:** you started crying saying you loved us then you said you wanted to go home and then you stopped crying bc you said you wanted to sleep and then you fainted

 **cutie lix:** we almost called an ambulance and shit

 **cutie lix:** yeah let’s make sure jeongin stays away from minho

 **seungminnie:** glad i missed that one

 **seungminnie:** hyunjin is so annoying when he gets sad drunk

 **hyunjin:** i almost died

 **hyunjin:** rude

 **jeonginnie:** I’M SO EXCITED

 **jeonginnie:** anyways that means you’re coming right hyunjin???

 **hyunjin:** i guess…. but where are we going exactly

 **minho:** if it’s Itaewon…

 **minho:** i know a place

 **minho:** i got u guys

**hyunjin:** i don’t trust you

 **minho:** just say you’re coming you stupid blonde bitch this is our last month together

 **seungminnie:** what’s this

 **seungminnie:** are you perhaps saying you’re gonna… miss him? 😳

 **minho:** i don’t know what you mean

 **minho:** anyways 8 at my place all of you dress slutty or you’re not coming

 **minho:** like literally they won’t let you enter

 **hyunjin:** where the fuck are we going

**_Saturday, 17:00_ **

**3RACHA BOIS**

**ugly (jisung):** PARTY TONIGHT BOYSSSSSSSS

 **ugly (jisung):** chan what time do we go to your house?

 **ugly (jisung):** stop ignoring me

 **ugly (jisung):** @bangchan

 **bangchan:** can’t today :(

 **bangchan:** sorry

 **ugly (jisung):** what do you mean you can’t

 **ugly (jisung):** chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan

 **ugly (jisung):** come on it’s been ages

 **ugly (jisung):** what else could you possibly have to do that’s better than getting wasted with your two best (and only) friends???????

 **bangchan:** work

 **ugly (jisung):** ughhhhhh you fucking workaholic it’s a fucking saturday relax

 **bangchan:** i’m sorry guys :( next time

 **ugly (jisung):** ugh fine

 **ugly (jisung):** @changbin???

 **changbin:** what

 **ugly (jisung):** what time do i go to your house

 **changbin:** zero o’clock

 **changbin:** i’m barely making it to months end as it is

 **changbin:** and you always pick the fanciest bars

 **changbin:** so no party tonight

 **ugly (jisung):** come ooooon

 **ugly (jisung):** we’ll go somewhere else

 **ugly (jisung):** there’s a hot place in itaewon these days

 **ugly (jisung):** and it’s free entry

 **ugly (jisung):** so maybe if you don’t order like,,,,,20 beers your wallet will be fine

 **ugly (jisung):** pleaseeee

 **changbin:** …

 **changbin:** okay you got me at free entry

 **ugly (jisung):** niceeeee

 **ugly (jisung):** and this time please let me take home the cute guy i’m in some serious need of cuddles and kisses 😔

 **changbin:** it’s not my fault you don’t get any

 **changbin:** you’re just ugly

 **ugly (jisung):** changbin sweetie look at yourself in the mirror and then talk to me

 **changbin:** i know i look hot don’t worry 😘

 **ugly (jisung):** shut up you’re so annoying

 **ugly (jisung):** i’ll be there at 9

 **ugly (jisung):** order some pizza bc i Will be Hungry

 **changbin:** no??? feed yourself wtf

 **bangchan:** have fun little ones!!!!

* * *

The place was filled with people and the music was loud. On the dancefloor, everyone was screaming and laughing while they moved around to the rhythm of the music. Guys danced with other guys; girls danced with other girls. There was a big screen behind the DJ’s table, and it showed a rainbow flag.

Actually, there were different colored flags everywhere.

It didn’t take them long to realize Minho had brought them to a gay bar.

“Stop staring you’re being rude”, said the eldest, five seps ahead of them. Him and Seungmin looked unfazed by the situation, while the other three were freezed in their spot.

There was a pause. Jeongin was the first one to break it.

“Is this…? Are they… you know?”, he asked, doing some weird gestures with his hands.

“If you mean gay, then yeah. I think that’s obvious”. Minho was getting annoyed, and you could tell not only from his words but from his facial expression too. He had that serious look he always wore when he was about to hit someone. “What? It’s not like any of you are straight so stop acting like you are because it’s embarrassing”.

There was another pause, but this time it was Felix’s scream that broke it.

“I LOVE THIS”, Felix yelled, making all of them jolt. He run towards Minho, hugging him tightly until the older one cracked a smile. “You should’ve brought us here sooner, you idiot!”.

“Fuck you Minho, you could’ve told us where we were going”, Hyunjin finally opened his mouth, “I would’ve dressed nicer if I had known”, he grumbled as he moved forward, suddenly self-aware of his scarcely gay outfit.

“I told you to dress slutty! But at least those leather pants hide your lack of ass”, Minho said with a wink.

“Guys wait, I’ve never been with so many gay people before. What if they think I’m not gay enough?”, the youngest asked as he followed them, genuinely worried.

* * *

Minho had insisted on getting a table on the upper floor, but the only one available was meant for two or three people at most. They took it either way, managing to sit all squeezed together for a whole minute until Jeongin got up complaining about how Seungmin kept pinching him in the stomach.

That started one of their usual fights, which was just them bickering for ten minutes, until the youngest ended plopping down in Minho’s lap, sticking his tongue out at the culprit of his suffering. His new partner just smiled; they all knew he had a soft spot for Jeongin.

Meanwhile, Felix, not wanting to waste a perfectly good opportunity for cuddling someone, decided that he should do the same. He chose Hyunjin as his victim.

Five minutes later and they all had a drink in their hands.

* * *

Someone had proposed playing truth or dare, even though they basically knew everything about each other already.

It had started with easy questions and silly challenges. “Do you have a crush on someone?” and “I dare you to finish your drink in one shot”. Until Minho decided they were being too vanilla and took it upon himself to spice things up.

With the biggest smirk on his face, the older started the “What is your biggest secret”, “When was the last time you lied to us”, “Have you ever wanted to make out with one of us” and “Have you ever had a wet dream about any of us” questions. It brought them to enough awkward answers and flushed cheeks as they admitted to their crimes, and soon they all decided to start choosing dare instead.

Minho’s smile only got wider.

He ended up trying to make Jeongin and Seungmin kiss, rambling about how they were actually meant for each other. Seungmin was the first one to oppose him, practically hissing at him, saying none of them would want a kiss from the other.

When Jeongin got up and kissed him in the cheek without a warning, they all exploded in laughter and awws. Seungmin’s ears turned bright red while he rubbed away at his cheek, unable to look the youngest in the eye from there on.

Hyunjin was still rubbing his belly, which hurt from laughing so hard, when he tapped at his phone to look at the time. Only an hour had gone by, and they were already like this. Screaming and beating each other up only to hug and kiss afterwards.

He sighed as he looked at his friends, taking a second for himself.

Hyunjin wasn’t the only one that had decided to ignore his problems that night, but he still felt like there was a dark cloud hanging around them. As they joked and teased each other, laughing and drinking and then laughing some more, it dawned on him that their days together were counted. In three weeks he would be gone, miles away, and it didn’t matter if they promised to talk and call daily, it mattered that he wouldn’t be around to enjoy those little moments.

It was no secret Hyunjin was a crybaby, and when he felt tears welling up in his eyes Seungmin was the first to notice.

“Hey, are you okay?”, Seungmin asked as he put a hand on his knee on a comforting gesture. “Something on your mind?”

“No, no, I’m okay”, Hyunjin said. He kept blinking, forcing his tears to disappear; he didn’t want to ruin the mood just because he was being dramatic. “Don’t worry, Seungminnie”.

Seungmin opened his mouth, probably to nag at him, but Minho’s sudden scream cut him off.

“SHOTS FOR EVERYONE”, the oldest one yelled. He was coming from the bar, trying to hold in both hands a bottle of Jagger and a bunch of shot glasses.

“Jagger? Again?”, Hyunjin groaned immediately, forgetting about Seungmin, who was still looking at him with a frown on his face.

“You know this stuff makes you horny, right? I’m doing this for all of us, trust me”, Minho said as he started pouring the shots.

They counted to three and drank, making disgusted faces afterwards.

“Are you sure it just makes you horny?”, Felix asked. He was propped up on the railing that ran along the edge of the floor, looking downwards at the dancefloor. “Can it make you like… see things too?”

“No, what the fuck are you talking about?”, said Minho, joining him.

“Isn’t that Changbin? With Jisung?”, he was pointing down, and the rest of them rushed to his side to peek out too.

“Who? Where?”, kept asking Jeongin, looking everywhere like the confused baby he was.

“Fuck, you’re right, that’s the squirrel guy”, Minho had found them quickly.

Hyunjin saw them right after. It was hard not to notice Changbin’s arms, especially the one covered in tattoos.

“Well, they look like they’re having fun, don’t they?”, Seungmin commented amusedly.

The pair had managed to steal a spot on the center of the dancefloor, where the lights shone the brightest. Jisung had his back glued to Changbin’s chest and was rubbing against him in the most obscene way possible.

“Wait that’s Changbin?”, Jeongin asked as he finally spotted them with Felix’s help. “He’s not that ugly. That’s disappointing”.

Then they all turned to stare at Hyunjin at the same time.

“Well, fuck”, was the only thing he said before gulping down another shot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hyunjin really b like: oh no my dad managed to get me into harvard my life Sucks!!!! yeah...ok rich boy
> 
> anyways if you thought i wouldn't make them meet each other unexpectedly Again.... you were wrong. i'm also sorry bc this was yet another uneventful chapter and so far it looks like they're never going to end up together but i swear they will!! they just need some time 
> 
> comments are always appreciated <3
> 
> [twt](https://twitter.com/noirxses)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> > “God, you’re really fucking dumb, aren’t you?”, there was a bitter edge to his voice that Hyunjin had not expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one is full text!!! can't believe i did that!!!!!! 
> 
> a personal thank you to all my friends who have to suffer through my multiple breakdowns and rants about this story (and other stories, bc im always coming up with ideas im probably never going to write). they're always helping me and they motivate me to write!!
> 
> **tw for this chapter** : there's a graphic description of someone puking (emetophobia). it's short but it's there, though you can totally skip it. it starts with " “I feel sick” ", ends with " “I’m sorry” "

Hyunjin spent the night trying with all his might to not be noticed by Changbin.

It was easy, at first.

The two rappers were too engrossed in their nasty dancing to notice anything else. They kept bumping against other people, and they didn’t even bat an eye; how were they going to notice Hyunjin, upstairs, where the lights were the lowest?

Still, they should keep enough distance to prevent unexpected meetings, he thought. For his sake, his friends decided it was best to stay on their tiny table and avoid at all costs the dancefloor. The only thing he needed to do was be aware of where Changbin was at all times, in case he decided to go up. If he kept his eyes on the older, everything would be fine. It wasn’t that difficult, was it?

It wasn’t.

Until it was.

Two hours later, and Hyunjin couldn’t remember a single moment in which he didn’t have a drink in his hand or was about to take a shot. He was as drunk as he had ever been, and Changbin was a long gone thought.

* * *

In his defense, they were all extremely drunk.

Minho had decided to give Felix and him a lap dance, Jeongin was throwing bills at him and Seungmin had taken out his phone at some point to record the whole thing.

He vaguely remembered the situation starting as a joke, all of them ganging up against Minho because he had chickened out of his “do a sexy dance” dare. It was when Seungmin called him a coward that his face went dead serious, and they realized their mistake.

As Minho’s butt kept moving up and down in front of his face, rubbing against his thighs from time to time, the only thing he could do was clap and laugh and try not to touch too much. A year ago he would’ve probably had a heart attack. But his fleeting crush on the older had passed, and at least now he could enjoy seeing him doing the most for his attention.

Felix, on the other hand, couldn’t stop giggling while he begged for him to stop. It was cute how his ears were bright red, and it made Hyunjin laugh even more when the freckled boy hugged him in order to hide his face in the crook of his neck.

“It’s okay Lix, he won’t bite”, he said as he patted his friend's head, imitating that soft tone of voice people used when talking to kids.

“Stop acting as if you hated it!”, Minho snorted when all of them had enough. “I know you were secretly enjoying it, Lixie”. And he had the audacity to wink at him.

Minho was in a good mood, probably because he was the drunkest of them all. He sat down besides Hyunjin, hugging him too, an unusual gesture coming from him.

“You give yourself too much credit. It was mediocre, at best”, Hyunjin said, turning his head to look at the older boy with a smile that didn’t want to leave his lips.

“I give myself enough credit. I know that you guys love my ass. It’s a great ass”, Minho smirked. It took him seconds to imitate Felix and hug his side too, swinging his leg up just so he could rest it upon Hyunjin’s thighs.

Being crushed by Felix was normal, and at this point felt as natural as breathing. Having Minho demonstrate this much affection towards him? It was madness.

“What’s wrong?”, Hyunjin tried to get a better look at him, but it was difficult when he had so little room for movement. “Why are you being so clingy? Are you sad? Is Minho sad?”, he shifted his hand from Felix’s legs to the oldest’s chin, tickling him as if he was a puppy. “Who made our Minho sad?”.

“You made me sad, you idiot”, Minho muttered, moving his face away from him only to bury it in the curve of Hyunjin’s neck.

How good was his neck, that they all wanted to hide there?

“Is this because I didn’t touch your butt while you were dancing? C’mon, Jeongin was looking!”, he tried to keep the conversation a light-hearted one, because he sensed where it was going.

The youngest, upon hearing his name, glanced at them for a second only to shrug his shoulders and turn his attention back to Seungmin. The boys were cheek to cheek, both looking at Seungmin’s phone, whispering between laughs and tiny screams.

“I’m going to miss your stupid and disgustingly beautiful face”, Minho’s voice was soft and slow; his emotional-drunk voice. A shiver went through him, starting where the older boy’s lips met Hunjin’s skin, “but don’t tell anyone I said that”.

“I’m going to miss you too, Hyunnie”, Felix whispered on the opposite side. There was some movement, and he felt a tiny kiss on his shoulder.

His heart dropped at that, and his body, so far full of energy, went slack. He deflated in an second, joy turning into bitter sadness at the mere mention of him leaving.

Being without his friends was going to be a reality soon. Having to deal with life on his own, not being able to hide in Felix’s house whenever something went wrong, not having Seungmin to call at 3am when he woke up from a nightmare and still felt like he was drowning. Minho wouldn’t be there to cheer him up when he felt like he wanted to die, nor Jeongin to cuddle him after hours of crying until he fell asleep.

Sleepless nights spent trying to face this had gotten him nowhere, the anguish inside him always growing, dark and ugly, hugging him tighter and tighter until he could no longer breathe and had to muffle his sobs against his pillow.

He had tried to avoid it, not think about how much he was going to miss his friends, because he knew he wasn’t able to bear it. The thought of his friends missing him made him feel even worse.

Hyunjin had been dreading that moment of sincerity from them ever since he knew he was leaving. It was bound to happen, eventually. The goodbyes, the hugs, the “Please call, don’t forget about us, I’m going to miss you”. It’s just that he had hoped to at least be sober.

Sober Hyunjin could’ve hidden his tears, tried to take it all in, a stoic expression on his face, smiling when it was needed and passing everything off as a joke. He didn’t want his friends to see him hurting —even though they were more than used to it—, didn’t want them to feel bad or sad for him. He would’ve cried about it later, in the loneliness of his room, and he would’ve hated himself for being a liar.

Drunk Hyunjin felt tears prickling his eyes almost instantly, and this time he knew he would not be able to make them disappear as easily as before.

“You know I’m going to miss you more”, he tried to keep his voice steady, but there was a knot in his throat already that made speaking so, so hard, “Seungmin promised to call every day so you better be with him when we facetime, yeah?”

“That’s annoying”, Minho whined, “can’t you just stay? Go live with Felix or something”.

“I told you, my dad would give them hell if he found out. I don’t want that”, Hyunjin replied.

“Then come live with me, I don’t care. As long as you don’t bother my children, we’re good. You know my mom isn’t scared of your dad”, the boy was now looking at him, sparks in his eyes like he just had the greatest idea ever.

It was so, so rare seeing him like this, actively showing his feelings, trying to get him to stay, that Hyunjin’s tears fell without him even noticing.

“Why are you crying? I asked you to move in with me”, Minho slapped his thigh, not at all hard like he did when he was actually mad, “Just say you hate me, you ungrateful brat”.

“What’s wrong?”, Felix, who had so far stayed out of the conversation to focus his attention on cuddling him, lifted his head to glance at him too.

“Nothing”, he wiped away his tears quickly and got up, feeling too hot and too anxious to stay seated between them anymore. “I gotta hit the restroom. Be right back”.

Felix offered to go with him, but he ignored him and the rest of his friends staring at him in favor of running down the stairs as fast as he could.

* * *

As soon as he hit the dancefloor, the mass of bodies swallowed him. He tried to move, not safe yet, not hidden enough. The music was so loud he could feel the vibrations through his boots, making his feet feel funny and tickly, until he stopped trying to walk, and they spread to his legs, his chest, his arms.

For a moment he just stood there, unmoving, unable to do anything else but try and hold his tears. No one was looking at him, but he still felt observed, vulnerable. Soon he started gasping for air, because it felt like everyone else was taking it away from him. He was drowning in the pool of his own intrusive thoughts.

Stumbling, he looked for the exit, following the neon sign when he finally spotted it. Cold air hit his face and filled his lungs when he pushed the door open and stepped outside. He embraced the shivers that ran through his body at the sudden change of temperature, because at least now he felt something else rather than the suffocating warmth he had experienced inside.

His brain processed somehow that there were people out there too, mostly smokers, and he urged his body to move, leading himself to the corner of the street where it was darkest. As his back hit the wall behind him, his knees bended on their own, taking him to sit on the floor.

Tears ran free now, ruining his makeup without mercy, tearing sobs from his throat. He let it all out, the sadness and the anger and the frustration he had tried so hard to push down in front of his friends.

Minutes passed, and it felt like it would never stop. But that was good, because he didn’t want it to stop. Crying was his way of release now, the only way that stuffy feeling in his chest seemed to mitigate, even if it was just a little.

So he let himself cry, holding his head down with both hands, until it started hurting and his irritated eyes had had enough.

“You finished?”, a voice came from above.

It felt familiar, and at the same time not familiar at all.

Sniffling, he raised his head, hoping to find Felix and blaming the alcohol for not recognizing him immediately.

What he saw, however, was Changbin, crouching down and offering him a tissue. Hyunjin took it, wiped his face with it, not realizing how bad of an idea that was. There were black spots on the now crumpled tissue, hints of mascara and eyeliner. Felix had told him he looked pretty, he recalled with pity.

“I’m sorry”, he mumbled without even processing the fact that it really was Changbin, right there, and not someone else.

“Why are you saying sorry?”, he was staring at him, no hint of annoyance or anger.

Because I know you hate my guts, and I know how this looks, Hyunjin thought.

“I didn’t follow you out here”, his voice cracked at the end, still tight from all the crying, and he had to clear his throat before continuing. “I knew you were inside, but I tried to stay away from you. I only came out because I needed some air. Didn’t know you’d be here”.

“I know”, Changbin nodded, acknowledging his innocence. Just like that. “I know you were in there. You’re not as smooth as you think you are”, and was that the hint of a smile in his voice? Hyunjin didn’t know, too embarrassed to even look at him. “I appreciate the effort, though. And I came out here after you did, so no need to worry about that”.

Hyunjin didn’t answer. It’s not like he knew what to say. He felt silly, defeated. Did he try to hide from Changbin all night when he had known from the start?

“Want me to bring your friends? Maybe you wanna talk to them about… whatever’s happening?”, he spoke again.

“No”, Hyunjin replied almost immediately, snapping his head up. “I mean… No, it’s fine. I’m fine, really”.

“You don’t look fine. Your eyes are all red and there’s black… everywhere”, he gestured towards his face, grimacing slightly, “Are you sure you don’t want me to look for anyone?”

“Yeah”, he nodded slightly.

Why was he so worried about him? Didn’t he hate him?

There were too many thoughts going through his head, and wanted the older gone, didn’t want to face him, but at the same time he wanted him to stay, didn’t want to be alone.

They stayed silent for a minute, and Hyunjin thought that was it. Changbin would be leaving now.

Except he didn’t.

“Want me to stay and tell me what happened?”, his voice was soft, so soft, and Hyunjin almost cried again right there. He didn’t deserve Changbin being nice to him, he knew, and he hated himself for wanting so hard to accept that kindness.

But after a moment, he decided to take it either way.

“Please”, he said, eyes glassy again.

Changbin sat down, close, arms extended in front of him and elbows resting in both his knees. He didn’t say a word, just waited for him to start talking. “Whenever you’re ready”, was what it felt like.

* * *

Hyunjin told him everything. About his dad, his dad’s company, his dad’s overwhelming desire for more, always more. He spoke briefly about the fights, the ugly words, how he had unwillingly taken the hatred his dad felt for him as hatred he had for himself.

He talked about dancing, a hobbie he started when he was young, still in high school, tried to put into words the feeling of joy when his muscles ached from using them too much; how his passion had grown until he thought he could do it for real. He talked about his mom too, with a smile on his lips, and of his friends, always supporting him.

Finally, there was Boston, Harvard Business School, leaving soon, being afraid of his future, so scared he couldn’t sleep at night, couldn’t breathe properly sometimes when he really thought about it.

He let himself be honest, and it felt so easy. With each word the tightness that made him feel breathless untightened just a little.

And Changbin listened.

Changbin nodded, asked questions, didn’t push him when he felt like he needed to stop for a minute and breathe. His expression was blank, and Hyunjin didn’t really know what he was thinking, but he felt grateful just having someone to talk with. Someone who didn’t actually know him, didn’t actually care, giving Hyunjin the freedom to say whatever was on his mind.

When he finished, there was silence again.

Hyunjin eyed the older, suddenly worried that he might have said too much, might have spilled all his secrets and fears and now they could never go back inside. Changbin seemed lost in thought, though, unaware of his growing anxiety.

“You mentioned auditions. Dance auditions, right?”, was what he asked when he finally spoke. “Did they give you any feedback? What you were lacking?”

Hyunjin had feared that question the most. If alcohol wasn’t still in his veins, he would’ve lied. If it was any other person, he would’ve lied. Hell, he’d already done it. But Changbin felt different.

“I… I actually didn’t go. I panicked”, he was fidgeting now, biting his lower lip and scraping his fingertips with his own nails. “My friends don’t know that, though”.

Another pause. Changbin liked to take pauses a lot, he noticed.

“God, you’re really fucking dumb, aren’t you?”, there was a bitter edge to his voice that Hyunjin had not expected. He lifted his gaze from his own hands to look at him, shock spreading through his features. “Don’t look at me like that”, Changbin added.

Hot anger creeped in his stomach, a pang of disappointment in his heart. Why did he even think telling Changbin was a good idea? Had he imagined the kindness in the older’s voice when he had asked him if he wanted him to stay?

“Like what?”, he spat out. “Was this just an excuse for you to call me a jerk again?”.

“You _are_ a jerk, though?”, Changbin sounded exactly as he did the last time they saw each other. “You don’t even know how privileged you are, Hyunjin. You’re crying because your dad got you into Harvard. Into Harvard, for fuck’s sake! And you decided it was a good idea to cry about it to _me_?”

Anger turned into sorrow, and that feeling of inferiority he always got when someone yelled at him.

“Well, you’re the one who offered to listen”, he replied.

“Yeah, because I thought it would be something silly like, I don’t know, the guy you like didn’t like you back or some shit like that. That’s what rich kids are usually worried about, right?”

“Yeah, I wish”, Hyunjin muttered, “Life’s hard for me too, you know?”. Changbin didn't understand, after all.

“Fuck, Hyunjin. Life’s hard for you?”, Changbin let out an incredulous chuckle. “You don’t know shit about hard”, his voice was harsh, his hands now closed in fists. He was about to continue, so Hyunjin stayed silent. But in the end, the older just sighed while pinching the bridge of his nose. “Now I sound like I want you to pity me. I don’t, thank you very much”.

“I don’t pity you. Not at all”, Hyunjin murmured.

No one said anything else.

Changbin played with one of the multiple rings on his fingers. Hyunjin’s head was now resting upon his knees, turned so he could look at him. He felt tired, and he didn’t want to fight anymore.

“I’m sorry”, a soft whisper. He had been wanting to apologize for a while now, ever since that day on the café when he had finally understood.

“Why are you sorry?”, Changbin’s voice had calmed down.

“For that night. That morning. My parents. Everything”, Hyunjin said. “It really wasn’t my intention to make you feel like shit. I know what that’s like. I’m really sorry”.

Changbin looked at him, hard, as if he were searching his eyes for anything that could tell him he was lying. He wasn’t.

“That’s okay. It’s all in the past, I guess”, he finally answered, expression softening, looking away like he didn’t want him to see. Hyunjin felt so relieved.

“I envy you”, he continued.

“Don’t say that”, the smile disappeared, and Hyunjin regretted it immediately. “I will punch you in the face, I swear”

“Fine”, he said, “but I really do. I want to live my own life too”

“Well, then you should’ve gone to those auditions”

“I know”

“Why didn’t you?”

“I couldn’t. I don’t want to talk about that”

“Fine, whatever”, the older shrugged. “Wanna go back inside?”

Hyunjin didn’t know if he meant going back to his friends or if he was actually referring to going back _together._ Either way, he didn’t want to leave. He wanted to keep looking at him, study his face, memorize his voice.

But there was nothing more for them to talk about, and he knew it would soon get awkward if they stayed.

“Sure”, he said.

Changbin got up, offered him his hand. He took it, smiling slightly, and when he pushed himself up, Changbin pulled at him so hard he almost fell. There were strong arms holding him steady, though.

“Easy”, the older chuckled.

Hyunjin tried to focus on him, but the world was spinning, and his vision had turned blurry from getting up so fast. He thought it would pass, but he started feeling dizzy instead, nauseous and thirsty at the same time.

“Are you okay?”, he heard the other asking.

“I feel sick”, was the only thing he could mumble.

Shivers, and his mouth went dry. He ran up to the tree in front of them, gagging, bending down to let it all out. Spasms and his knees gave in. He tried to hold on to something, anything. A hand took his own, and another combed through his hair, carefully taking it out of his face.

“Fuck, that’s disgusting”, Changbin’s voice beside him.

When there was nothing left in his stomach, he tried standing up. Something dabbed at his face, cleaning him up, but he was still disoriented, and he barely processed it. He spat out on the floor; his mouth tasted awful.

Fuck, he thought as he regained his senses.

“I’m sorry”, he started, hiding his face with his hands.

“It’s okay, Hyunjin, you’ve just had too much. We’ve all done that. Are you okay?”

“I wanna go home”, he whined almost immediately. Vomiting made him feel like a baby in desperate need of comfort.

“Yeah, no shit. But are you sure you’re okay? Can you stand?”, Hyunjin thought he sounded worried, but that couldn’t actually be possible.

“Yes, I just wanna go home. I want to sleep”.

“Okay, then give me your address and I’ll get you a taxi”.

“No, I don’t wanna go to _my_ house”.

“Then where the fuck do you want to go?”

Changbin was annoyed.

Changbin was still holding his hand in case Hyunjin decided he wanted to meet the floor again.

“I don’t know”, he wasn’t thinking clearly. He still felt sick, but most of all he felt sleepy. He wanted a bed, but not his bed. He dreaded his bed.

“Okay, give me your phone. I’ll call your friends”.

“No, not them”, he panicked, “I ran away from them and I feel horrible and if I see them, I’ll have to tell them I lied to them and then I’ll cry again. Please, not them”.

“Well then what the fuck do you want me to do, Hyunjin? Should I take you to my house? Tuck you into bed and give you a good night’s kiss?”, Changbin scoffed, pure sarcasm.

Hyunjin simply held his gaze, a plead in his eyes.

“Are you fucking serious?”

* * *

**_Sunday, 12:00_ **

****

**unknown:** hey, about last night…

**unknown:** i just wanted to say that it was really good

**unknown:** and like

**unknown:** we can do it again sometime

**unknown:** if you want

**unknown:** but if you don’t that’s okay like i just wanted you to know that it was great

**minho:** fuck

**minho:** i knew i shouldn’t have given you my number

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [twt](https://twitter.com/noirxses)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> > **minho:** another episode of hyunjin clown adventures
>> 
>> **minho:** please continue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy chan day!!!!!!!

**_Sunday, 03:15_ **

**minho is catboy**

**seungminnie:** hyunjin where are you???

 **seungminnie:** @hyunjin

**_Sunday, 03:30_ **

**minho is catboy**

**seungminnie:** okay it’s been like an hour now we’re actually worried

 **seungminnie:** pick up the phone

 **seungminnie:** where the fuck are you

 **cutie lix:** did something happen????

 **jeonginnie:** hyunjin don’t die you’re ruining my night

**_Sunday, 04:00_ **

**minho is catboy**

**seungminnie:** @minho what the fuck are you doing??? did you find him or not???

 **seungminnie:** can you guys PLEASE stop disappearing

 **seungminnie:** i’m stressed

 **seungminnie:** pick up your damn phones

**_Sunday, 04:20_ **

**minho is catboy**

**hyunjin:** hey

 **seungminnie:** fucking FINALLY

 **jeonginnie:** where are you????

 **cutie lix:** are you okay????

 **hyunjin:** i’m changbin

 **jeonginnie:** CHANGBIN??????????

 **seungminnie:** what? is hyunjin okay?

 **cutie lix:** are you with him????

 **hyunjin:** yeah he’s with me

 **hyunjin:** he’s okay now but he’s had too much to drink

 **hyunjin:** he was puking and everything

 **hyunjin:** he asked me to take him home

 **seungminnie:** he asked you?

 **seungminnie:** we’ve been looking for him for like 2 hours

 **cutie lix:** where did you find him??

 **jeonginnie:** did you kidnap him?????

 **jeonginnie:** how do we know you’re changbin???????

 **hyunjin:** why would i say i am if i’m not???

 **hyunjin:** what kind of question is that???

 **jeonginnie:** i don’t know i don’t trust u

 **hyunjin:** want me to send a picture???

 **jeonginnie:** yes

 **hyunjin:** yeah no

 **hyunjin:** i found him outside

 **hyunjin:** he asked me not to look for you bc he just wanted to go home

 **hyunjin:** he didn’t want to ruin your night

 **hyunjin:** we’re on our way but he fell asleep on the taxi

 **hyunjin:** his phone kept ringing and i figured i should tell you guys

 **hyunjin:** so you can stop worrying

 **seungminnie:** okay… i guess…

 **cutie lix:** you sure he’s okay? :(

 **cutie lix:** we could’ve gone with him…

 **jeonginnie:** send!! a!! pic!!!

 **hyunjin:** ugh

 **hyunjin:** [pic attached]

 **seungminnie:** okay he looks fine…. that’s his drunk sleep face

 **jeonginnie:** WHY DOES HE HAVE HIS HEAD ON YOUR SHOULDER

 **cutie lix:** wait you guys are cute…………………..

 **jeonginnie:** did you guys hook up again???

 **jeonginnie:** don’t you have a boyfriend??

 **hyunjin:** his phone’s at 1% so bye

 **jeonginnie:** WAIT DON’T GO

 **jeonginnie:** :(

 **seungminnie:** fuck you hyunjin i was actually scared

 **seungminnie:** ugh

 **seungminnie:** we’re going home

 **seungminnie:** where are you @minho

 **jeonginnie:** did you get kidnapped too????

**_Sunday, 04:30_ **

**seungminnie:** @minho

 **seungminnie:** @minho

 **seungminnie:** @minho

 **seungminnie:** @minho

 **minho:** you can go home without me 😘

 **seungminnie:** i hate you all

**_Sunday, 04:30_ **

**changbin:** hey i’m going home

 **changbin:** well im taking hyunjin home actually

 **changbin:** long story short he passed out 👍

 **changbin:** i’ll tell you everything tomorrow bc rn i’m dead

 **changbin:** sorry

 **ugly (jisung):** you’re taking WHOMST home???

 **ugly (jisung):** your home???? or his home???

 **ugly (jisung):** HWTSTHE FUCK CHANGBIN

 **ugly (jisung):** do NOT fuck the rich kid again

 **ugly (jisung):** i repeat do NOT fuck him, understand????

 **ugly (jisung):** anyways bye thanks for leaving me alone talk to you tomorrow sleep well 😘😘😘😘😘

 **changbin:** i’m not doing anything with him shut the fuck up

 **changbin:** i’m sorry for leaving :(

 **changbin:** i’ll make it up to you

 **changbin:** text me when you’re home okay?

 **ugly (jisung):** no like literally

 **ugly (jisung):** thank you for leaving

 **changbin:** ???

 **ugly (jisung):** 🍆😋✊ 💦

 **changbin:** the fuck does that mean??????

* * *

**_Sunday, 12:00_ **

****

**catboy:** fuck

 **catboy:** i knew i shouldn’t have given you my number

 **jisung:** okay

 **jisung:** rude

 **jisung:** here i am trying to be nice and shit…

 **jisung:** you’re saying you regret last night??

 **catboy:** yes

 **catboy:** no

 **catboy:** what do you want?

 **jisung:** i just wanted to tell you that… i liked it?

 **jisung:** idk???

 **jisung:** now you’re making me nervous

 **jisung:** i don’t usually do that kind of stuff okay

 **jisung:** so i don’t know what’s the procedure here

 **jisung:** but… i kinda cant stop thinking about it

 **jisung:** and i think we could like

 **jisung:** maybe do it again?

 **| _jisung:_** _i don’t usually do that kind of stuff okay_

 **catboy:** eating a stranger’s dick in a bathroom stall?

 **catboy:** yeah me neither

 **catboy:** they usually take me home first

 **jisung:** well excuse me sir

 **jisung:** you weren’t complaining last night

 **jisung:** when i had your dick in my mouth

 **jisung:** so

 **catboy:** i was _drunk_

 **catboy:** and you kept grinding your ugly ass against my dick

 **catboy:** i’m not a rock okay

 **catboy:** but

 **catboy:** yeah

 **catboy:** i guess

 **catboy:** itwasnice

 **jisung:** hehehe

 **jisung:** i know 😎

 **catboy:** listen

 **catboy:** if you say anything to any of your friends

 **catboy:** if you even mention my name

 **catboy:** i swear to god i will cut your dick off and feed it to my cats

 **catboy:** we clear?

 **jisung:** 😳

 **jisung:** you’re so sexy when you get all aggressive

 **catboy:** im serious

 **catboy:** i don’t want my friends to find out i ditched them for you

 **jisung:** what’s wrong with me 😤

 **catboy:** you look like a squirrel

 **catboy:** and you smell like doritos

 **jisung:** well you smell like cat food

 **jisung:** plus you’re a fucking liar

 **jisung:** last night you told me i was hot soooooooo

 **jisung:** 😎😎😎😎😎

 **catboy:** you have no proof of that

 **catboy:** just. swear you won’t tell anything?

 **| _catboy:_** _you have no proof of that_

 **jisung:** or do i????

 **jisung:** but anyways yes you idiot

 **jisung:** you already made it clear last night

 **jisung:** before devouring my neck

 **jisung:** it looks pretty awful btw

 **jisung:** [pic attached]

 **| _jisung:_** _but anyways yes you idiot_

 **catboy:** okay good

 **| _jisung:_** _[pic attached]_

 **catboy:** sorry

 **catboy:** but it looks hot

 **catboy:** makes me want to do it again

 **jisung:** 😳

 **jisung:** makes me want you to do it again

 **catboy:** so

 **jisung:** so

 **catboy:** are you free today

 **jisung:** wanna come over?

**_Sunday, 12:15_ **

**felix:** missed you yesterday :(

 **channie <3:** yesterday????

 **felix:** yess we went out last night

 **felix:** and we saw changbin and jisung

 **felix:** but you weren’t there!!! rude!! （︶^︶）

 **channie <3:** ohhhhh

 **channie <3: **really?

 **channie <3: **they haven’t said anything!!!

 **channie <3: **but yeah i stayed home working :(

 **channie <3:** now i’m sad i didn’t go with the guys :(

 **channie <3:** it would’ve been fun

 **channie <3:** wait so did anything happen??? did you guys talk or anything???

 **felix:** actually yes

 **felix:** CHANGBIN AND HYUNJIN WENT HOME TOGETHER

 **channie <3:** excuse me WHAT

 **channie <3:** i feel like i’ve lived this before

 **channie <3:** are u joking

 **felix:** no i’m not sjhdfkdg

 **channie <3:** what the fuck

 **channie <3:** wait can i call you????

 **channie <3:** i kinda miss your voice **😅**

 **felix:** of course!!!! **(❁´◡`❁)**

 **felix:** i kinda miss yours too

 **felix:** you’re so busy these days…

 **felix:** what about that movie you promised!!

 **channie <3:** awwww nooo i’m sorry lix

 **channie <3:** i’ve been busy but i always have time for you

 **channie <3: **maybe…you can come over this afternoon for that movie? 🤗

 **channie <3:** wait shut up i’m gonna call you

 **felix:** fhksdgjg 😊😊😊😊😊

* * *

Hyunjin opened his eyes slowly, expecting to find the familiar rectangular shape of his bedroom’s ceiling light. When he didn’t, he closed them again. Blinked once. Twice, trying to get his blurry sight to focus. He tried opening just one eye, but it still wasn’t the bedroom he’d known his whole life.

As he regained consciousness, he regained his senses too. His mouth was dry, his stomach felt funny and he _knew_ his head was going to hurt like a bitch as soon as he moved. Memories of last night came back to him, little by little, and it didn’t take him long to figure out where he was.

“Fuck”, he groaned out loud, covering his face with the bedsheets. “Fuckfuckfuck”, he continued as he thrashed around, kicking his legs at the air. His head, as predicted, felt about to explode.

He must have been out of his mind when he had asked Changbin to take him to _his_ house, but in his defense, he hadn’t actually thought he would _agree_. The last thing he remembered was falling asleep on the taxi, after Changbin’s insistence on calling one, thinking his pleads had gone unheard and the older boy had only agreed to be his companion on the way home. Looks like he did more than that.

Peeking out of his self-made blanket fortress, Hyunjin took a glance around.

The room was actually tiny and had little to no decoration that could identify it as Changbin’s. The bed was close to the wall, and it took out most of the space. On the opposite wall, there was a small desk and a chair. Even from a distance he could tell the desk was a mess, papers and pencils everywhere, and there was a mountain of clothes sitting on the chair. He recognized the shirt on top of the pile as _his_.

If he didn’t know any better, he would’ve thought something had happened between them. But there was no way Changbin would make that mistake again, and seeing how the bed was so small his feet dangled out of it, he would’ve noticed if they had slept together, he thought.

It didn’t change the fact that having to face the older was now another disaster waiting to happen. Sex or not sex involved, it was going to be _awkward_.

What would he say to him, anyway? “Sorry you had to listen to me oversharing but thank you for holding my hand while I puked and probably made you want to puke too; can you forget about everything I told you and be friends with me?”

Did that even make sense? That he wanted to be his friend after everything that happened?

Hyunjin groaned again, feeling ashamed, weak, and hungover. He was kind of expecting Changbin to knock on the door now, since he was being everything but quiet. At least that would save him the embarrassment of having to come out of the room willingly.

When he didn’t appear after almost ten minutes, his plan dismantled, he knew he had no other choice but to get up. He had a few missed called from his mother and some messages from his friends; perhaps he needed to go back home.

Even though he tried to do move slowly, he still felt like his head was being pounded by a hammer, and he had to close his eyes for a second, feeling dizzy. He made his twentieth oath to never drink again.

Tiptoeing, he stopped in front of the door. He tried to stay silent for a while, tried to catch any noise outside. There was none. Was Changbin gone?

“Hello?”, he asked tentatively as he stepped out into the living room. Which was also tiny, and actually the only other room in the house except for the bathroom. The kitchen was on one side, no separation.

He could see at once that there was no one else home. He sighed with relief, but there was disappointment in it too. After thinking about it so much, his expectations had grown without him even noticing.

And now what?, he thought. Biting his lip, he looked around, clueless. Was he supposed to just leave?

A big pink post-it note stuck on the edge of the table in front of him caught his attention. He really wished it was addressed to him, because he was already taking a step towards it in order to read it.

> _Hey, sorry I’m not home, morning shift today._
> 
> _You can shower if you want, there’s clean towels in the bathroom. You can borrow some clothes. Eat something or you will die._
> 
> _You owe me 1.000.000.000 ₩, approximately._
> 
> _Text me if you need anything._
> 
> _\- Bin_

He smiled instinctively at his words.

There was a number written on the back of the note. Changbin’s number.

* * *

**_Sunday, 13:40_ **

**3RACHA BOIS**

**bangchan:** ok what the _fuck_ happened yesterday???

 **bangchan:** and why is felix saying he saw you guys KISSING

 **bangchan:** someone explain

 **bangchan:** are you guys dating or something?????

 **bangchan:** not that that’s a bad thing

 **bangchan:** i’ve had to suffer jisung having a crush on changbin for the longest time so i mean, fucking finally

 **bangchan:** but you could’ve told me

 **ugly (jisung):** first of all SHUT THE FUCK UP

 **ugly (jisung):** I DID NOT HAVE A CRUSH ON CHANGBIN NOR WILL I EVER HAVE ONE

 **ugly (jisung):** i only said that it would be nice if he choked me with his thighs

 **ugly (jisung):** that is NOT the same thing

 **ugly (jisung):** changbin would be lucky to date me

 **ugly (jisung):** he’s an ugly bitch

 **ugly (jisung):** pass

 **bangchan:** fine whatever

 **bangchan:** then what were you doing yesterday

 **ugly (jisung):** nothing

 **ugly (jisung):** we were just dancing

 **bangchan:** felix saw you

 **ugly (jisung):** i don’t know what you’re talking about

 **ugly (jisung):** who’s felix

 **bangchan:** jisung

 **ugly (jisung):** chan???

 **bangchan:** stop

 **ugly (jisung):** stop what

 **bangchan:** c’mon!!!! he saw you kissing!!!

 **bangchan:** just admit it there’s nothing wrong with it??

 **ugly (jisung):** ugh

 **ugly (jisung):** fuck you felix

 **ugly (jisung):** fine

 **ugly (jisung):** changbin’s going to kill me when he sees this but

 **ugly (jisung):** yes we May have hooked up once

 **ugly (jisung):** well more than once

 **ugly (jisung):** and mostly every time we’re drunk and horny

 **ugly (jisung):** but that’s it i swear

 **bangchan:** so… you’re not dating?

 **ugly (jisung):** no!!!!!

 **ugly (jisung):** last night was just a kiss!!!

 **ugly (jisung):** please tell felix to stop associating me with mr seo it’s embarrassing

 **bangchan:** ok

 **bangchan:** so how long have you been hooking up without me knowing???

 **ugly (jisung):** idk… a year maybe?

 **ugly (jisung):** remember that one gig in Inferno

 **ugly (jisung):** we were backstage

 **ugly (jisung):** and you appeared out of fucking nowhere

 **ugly (jisung):** i was sitting on top of changbin…

 **ugly (jisung):** yeah that was the first time i think

 **bangchan:** WHAT

 **bangchan:** you told me you were doing his makeup!!!!!!!!!

 **ugly (jisung):** well it’s not my fault you’re so dumb

 **ugly (jisung):** do i look like i know how to do anyone’s makeup???

 **bangchan:** i don’t know!!!!! i thought maybe you found a new hobbie or something!!!!

 **bangchan:** wow!!!!!!!!

 **ugly (jisung):** i’m sorry we were really horny that night

 **ugly (jisung):** we thought you were gone smooching with felix

 **bangchan:** you guys are so mean now i feel stupid

 **bangchan:** and i do not smooch with anyone shut up

 **ugly (jisung):** mmm sure mr straight guy

 **changbin:** i’m working

 **changbin:** what the fuck goes on

 **changbin:** …

 **changbin:** did you tell chan about us???????????

 **changbin:** jisung i will end you i swear

 **ugly (jisung):** hey boyfie 😘

 **bangchan:** welcome home cheater

 **changbin:** shut up im still reading

 **changbin:** ugh

 **changbin:** okay

 **changbin:** chan im sorry we didn’t tell you we were just fooling around

 **changbin:** it’s not like we hook up at every chance we get

 **changbin:** and

 **changbin:** what’s this about jisung having a crush on me 😳

 **changbin:** are you going to confess soon jisungie?

 **ugly (jisung):** confess that i hate your ugly ass? yes

 **bangchan:** jisung you were kind of obsessed with him when you first met…

 **bangchan:** it was honestly annoying

 **ugly (jisung):** i was NOT

 **ugly (jisung):** shut up you’re obsessed with felix!!!!!

 **bangchan:** i’m not??? he’s my friend??

 **ugly (jisung):** oh so you write love songs to all your friends????

 **ugly (jisung):** i’ll be waiting for mine then

 **bangchan:** it’s not a love song it's a friendship song

 **ugly (jisung):** you literally call him your soulmate

 **bangchan:** and????

 **changbin:** chan please stop acting like you don’t have the fattest crush on felix

 **changbin:** it’s embarrassing

 **| _ugly (jisung):_** _confess that i hate your ugly ass? yes_

 **changbin:** oh like you weren’t begging last night for a kiss?

 **bangchan:** this is not about me!!

 **ugly (jisung):** SHUT IT

 **ugly (jisung):** and anyways what happened last night between you and hyunjin????

 **ugly (jisung):** HE WENT HOME WITH HIM @bangchan

 **ugly (jisung):** AGAIN

 **bangchan:** oh right felix told me

 **bangchan:** explain please

 **changbin:** nothing happened

 **changbin:** he was drunk

 **changbin:** he puked

 **changbin:** so i took him home

 **bangchan:** so you went to his house? again? :/

 **changbin:** actually

 **changbin:** no

 **changbin:** i took him to mine

 **ugly (jisung):** WHAT NOW

 **ugly (jisung):** so you take HIM home and not me???

 **ugly (jisung):** i’m your secret boyfriend!!!!!!!!! rude!!!!!!

 **bangchan:** ok

 **bangchan:** i just have to ask. Why

 **| _ugly (jisung):_** _so you take HIM home and not me???_

 **changbin:** yes 😘

 **changbin:** about what happened

 **changbin:** i unlocked hyunjin’s tragic backstory yesterday 🤙

 **changbin:** i found him crying

 **changbin:** we talked for a while

 **changbin:** he asked me to take him to mine and i…kinda… couldn’t say no?

 **changbin:** i don’t know i was drunk too and he looked so sad :(

 **changbin:** like a puppy

 **changbin:** i should’ve said nooooo but i couldn’t

 **ugly (jisung):** like a puppy?????????

 **ugly (jisung):** excuse me sir are you perhaps WHIPPED? 🤢🤢🤢

 **changbin:** no im not i was just being nice

 **changbin:** you should’ve seen him… he was a mess

 **ugly (jisung):** wait then?? are you with him right now?? is he still there? what happened!!!!

 **ugly (jisung):** can i facetime you i want to see him

 **changbin:** no you cannot i told you i’m at work

 **changbin:** he was still sleeping when i left

 **ugly (jisung):** so you left him ALONE in YOUR HOUSE???

 **ugly (jisung):** i can’t believe you

 **ugly (jisung):** we’re breaking up

 **bangchan:** mmm

 **bangchan:** ok

 **bangchan:** just wanna make sure

 **bangchan:** you didn’t forget what happened last time right?

 **changbin:** no i didn’t

 **changbin:** we kinda talked about it and he apologized

 **bangchan:** kinda?

 **bangchan:** that’s not good enough for me

 **changbin:** look chan relax

 **changbin:** im not stupid

 **changbin:** we talked about it, he said he was sorry, i forgave him

 **changbin:** and i took him home bc he needed it and i’m a nice person okay

 **changbin:** plus he’s leaving next month

 **changbin:** i don’t think he’ll get to piss me off anymore

 **bangchan:** yeah felix mentioned something about him leaving…

 **bangchan:** but i don’t know

 **bangchan:** i don’t want you to get hurt again

 **bangchan:** and you have a tendency to fall for stupid boys

 **ugly (jisung):** that’s true

 **changbin:** don’t talk about jisung like that he can read you omg

 **ugly (jisung):** you realize you just said you fell for me right?

 **changbin:** no i just wanted to say you’re stupid

 **ugly (jisung):** god you’re so dumb

 **changbin:** okay anyways

 **changbin:** don’t be so dramatic chan :(

 **changbin:** i’m not falling for anyone least of all hyunjin

 **changbin:** but enough about me

 **changbin:** what were you up to last night jisung???

 **ugly (jisung):** nothing??? wdym

 **changbin:** you haven’t cursed at me for leaving without you

 **changbin:** there must be a reason

 **ugly (jisung):** there isn’t

 **ugly (jisung):** i’ve decided to Grow Up

 **ugly (jisung):** i don’t need you anymore

 **ugly (jisung):** btw i’m looking for a new roommate do you guys know anyone

 **changbin:** don’t try to change the subject

 **changbin:** what about those emojis????

 **changbin:** wait someone just entered the store

 **changbin:** i’ll be conducting an investigation when i clock out

 **changbin:** bye

 **ugly (jisung):** bye sherlock holmes 🙄

**_Sunday, 14:30_ **

**hyunjin:** hey! it’s hyunjin

 **hyunjin:** just wanted to say thank you for last night

 **hyunjin:** for everything actually

 **hyunjin:** and sorry for all the trouble…

 **hyunjin:** i’ll give your clothes to felix as soon as i can, i promise 😊

 **changbin:** hey

 **changbin:** took you long enough

 **changbin:** no worries

 **changbin:** how’s the hangover going?

 **hyunjin:** not bad actually

 **hyunjin:** well it was bad when i woke up but i’m fine now

 **hyunjin:** i guess puking did help

 **hyunjin:** sorry about that btw…

 **changbin:** its okay

 **changbin:** it was disgusting

 **changbin:** but it’s not like it doesn’t happen to jisung every night

 **changbin:** i’m kind of an expert at holding hands and pushing hair back while i try not to puke myself

 **hyunjin:** okay wow hahah

 **hyunjin:** still…i’m so embarrased

 **changbin:** don’t be

 **hyunjin:** but you had work today and everything…

 **changbin:** that didn’t stop me from going out tho

 **changbin:** plus you gave me an excuse to leave early

 **hyunjin:** 4am isn’t really early?

 **changbin:** jisung would’ve wanted to stay until 6am

 **hyunjin:** oh ahaha

 **hyunjin:** anyways…

 **hyunjin:** thank you!!

 **changbin:** it’s nothing 👍

**_Sunday, 14:40_ **

**minho is catboy**

**hyunjin:** hey

 **jeonginnie:** hello changbin

 **seungminnie:** explain

 **seungminnie:** now

 **cutie lix:** hey!!! how are you???

 **hyunjin:** i’m okay

 **hyunjin:** i’m at changbin’s

 **cutie lix:** 😳😳😳😳😳

 **cutie lix:** i thought he took you home… _your_ home

 **jeonginnie:** i knew it he kidnapped you!!!!!!!

 **jeonginnie:** i’m calling the police

 **seungminnie:** why are you there???

 **minho:** i was going to ignore you but OH MY GOD

 **minho:** another episode of hyunjin clown adventures

 **minho:** please continue

 **hyunjin:** shut up

 **hyunjin:** i drank too much

 **hyunjin:** well you know the story from what i’ve read

 **hyunjin:** that pic is so embarrassing btw im deleting it forever

 **seungminnie:** don’t worry i already saved it

 **jeonginnie:** i made it my phone background

 **hyunjin:** …

 **hyunjin:** anyways

 **hyunjin:** he took me to his bc i asked him

 **hyunjin:** but when i woke up he was gone :/

 **seungminnie:** you asked him to take you to his house?

 **seungminnie:** why? and why didn’t you call us?

 **jeonginnie:** yeah you could’ve slept at felix’s with me :(

 **jeonginnie:** he made pancakes for breakfast

 **cutie lix:** hehe

 **hyunjin:** i don’t know!!!! i was drunk!!!!!

 **hyunjin:** i’m so fucking embarrassed what the fuck was i thinking

 **minho:** yeah im embarrassed for you too

 **cutie lix:** where did changbin go tho?

 **hyunjin:** he left a note saying he had to go to work

 **hyunjin:** he said i could shower and borrow some clothes 😳

 **hyunjin:** and he left me his number

 **hyunjin:** i already thanked him and stuff but it was so awkward

 **hyunjin:** everything about this feels surreal tbh

 **cutie lix:** omg

 **cutie lix:** cute he’s so nice

 **minho:** can you do a house tour

 **minho:** i want to see the rathole he lives in

 **hyunjin:** no

 **hyunjin:** stop it im actually thankful

 **hyunjin:** i still don’t get how he agreed to take me home

 **hyunjin:** after everything that happened

 **hyunjin:** i feel bad :(

 **cutie lix:** don’t!!! i’m also grateful

 **cutie lix:** at least someone took care of you

 **cutie lix:** since you ran away from us :(

 **cutie lix:** and if he let you stay that’s because he wanted hyunnie

 **cutie lix:** he actually seems like a good person…

 **seungminnie:** yeah don’t feel bad

 **seungminnie:** you could’ve called us

 **seungminnie:** but it was nice of him to take care of you

 **minho:** wtf do you want them to date or something?

 **minho:** ew

 **jeonginnie:** no what happened to the bet!!!! hyunjin you gotta date felix!!!

 **cutie lix:** im gonna ignore that 🤨

 **hyunjin:** im not dating anyone shut up

 **seungminnie:** a question tho

 **seungminnie:** how did you end up with him

 **seungminnie:** i thought you were trying to avoid him

 **hyunjin:** i went outside for a minute and he was there

 **hyunjin:** well i didn’t see him but he approached me

 **hyunjin:** and we talked and stuff

 **hyunjin:** i apologized for everything

 **cutie lix:** isn’t this how couples in dramas start their relationship? hehehe

 **minho:** please do NOT date him

 **hyunjin:** i wasn’t thinking of dating him stop it!!!!

 **hyunjin:** plus he has something with jisung right????

 **hyunjin:** we saw them 💀

 **seungminnie:** probably

 **jeonginnie:** they looked like really good friends

 **cutie lix:** chan doesn’t know anything :/

 **minho:** omg why do you care

 **hyunjin:** i don’t

 **hyunjin:** i was just saying

 **minho:** 👀

 **cutie lix:** 👀👀

 **jeonginnie:** 👀👀👀

 **hyunjin:** shut up

 **seungminnie:** anyways @minho are you going to tell us why you disappeared too

 **minho:** no ❤

* * *

**_Monday 02:30_ **

**hyunjin:** hey

 **hyunjin:** i’m sorry it’s so late

 **hyunjin:** but i can’t sleep

 **hyunjin:** and i can’t stop thinking

 **hyunjin:** i should’ve thanked you properly earlier but i was too embarrassed

 **hyunjin:** everything these days has been awful

 **hyunjin:** and i’m tired of hiding how fucking bad i feel all the time

 **hyunjin:** so it helped a lot to tell someone

 **hyunjin:** thanks for listening even though you didn’t have to

 **hyunjin:** and thank you for taking me to your house…

 **hyunjin:** really, thank you for everything

 **hyunjin:** i’m still so embarrassed fjsdgjg

 **hyunjin:** i’ll probably delete this later

 **changbin:** wanna talk about it before you delete it?

 **hyunjin:** whatsahgajkff you’re awake??

 **hyunjin:** oh my god i’m so sorry

 **changbin:** yeah can’t sleep either

 **changbin:** but why are you sorry

 **hyunjin:** bc i didn’t think you would see this…

 **changbin:** so you don’t want to thank me?

 **changbin:** i see

 **hyunjin:** no i do

 **hyunjin:** just

 **hyunjin:** i don’t know how i should talk to you

 **hyunjin:** i don’t know if you hate me

 **changbin:** i don’t

 **changbin:** i mean i get that you could think that

 **changbin:** but seriously i don’t

 **changbin:** i wouldn’t have brought you to my house if i did

 **hyunjin:** well

 **hyunjin:** that’s a relief

 **changbin:** i’m actually sorry too

 **changbin:** about yesterday

 **hyunjin:** why????

 **changbin:** i was pretty harsh with you

 **changbin:** you were crying your eyes out and i got pissed at you when i shouldn’t have

 **changbin:** it’s not your fault i’m so petty

 **changbin:** so yeah… sorry

 **hyunjin:** it’s okay really

 **hyunjin:** if anything…you were right i guess

 **hyunjin:** i don’t know how to do things by myself

 **hyunjin:** it’s fucking hard

 **changbin:** i don’t think you’ve had that many chances

 **changbin:** but i agree

 **changbin:** it’s hard

 **hyunjin:** i’m sorry i shouldn’t bother you again with my stupid breakdowns

 **hyunjin:** i really just wanted to say thank you

 **changbin:** please stop saying sorryyyyyy

 **changbin:** you can talk to me if you want

 **changbin:** i know sometimes it’s easier to open yourself up to strangers

 **hyunjin:** are we strangers?

 **changbin:** well not really

 **changbin:** you’ve seen me naked

 **changbin:** but you get what i mean

 **hyunjin:** shfkjg yes

 **hyunjin:** thank you…

 **changbin:** so? wanna talk about what’s bothering you?

 **hyunjin:** no it’s okay

 **hyunjin:** i feel relieved just knowing you don’t actually hate me

 **hyunjin:** plus it’s so late

 **hyunjin:** i should let you sleep

 **changbin:** don’t worry

 **changbin:** i was watching netflix

 **hyunjin:** oh? what are you watching?

 **changbin:** a korean odyssey

 **hyunjin:** omg!!! i loved that one!!!

 **hyunjin:** do you like it??

 **changbin:** i mean the story’s a bit boring sometimes

 **changbin:** and the female character lacks personality…

 **changbin:** but yes it’s interesting

 **| _changbin:_** _and the female character lacks personality…_

 **hyunjin:** i love her but dhgkfjg agreed

 **hyunjin:** if you like it you should watch hotel del luna!!!

 **hyunjin:** it’s from the same screenwriters

 **hyunjin:** it’s my favorite actually

 **changbin:** oh i think i’ve seen the trailer

 **changbin:** iu’s in it right?

 **hyunjin:** yesss

 **hyunjin:** queen i love her

 **changbin:** hahah

 **changbin:** then i’ll add it to my watchlist!

 **hyunjin:** yaaay

 **hyunjin:** please inform me when you start watching it!!!

 **changbin:** will do!

 **hyunjin:** great!

 **hyunjin:** i think i’ll actually go to sleep now…

 **changbin:** you feeling better?

 **hyunjin:** yes 😊

 **hyunjin:** thank you

 **hyunjin:** don’t stay up too late…

 **changbin:** i’ll try i swear

 **changbin:** good night!

 **hyunjin:** good night 🧡

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hyunjin: no i dont like changbin  
> also hyunjin to changbin: hey 👉👈 wanna be my friend?
> 
> comments are always nice!
> 
> [twt](https://twitter.com/noirxses)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> > His tattooed arm was on full display, and the way the ink curved around his muscles was almost hypnotic. Hyunjin recalled he had _touched_ those tattoos, had kissed them and traced them all over, though the memory felt like a thousand years ago and was now blurry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok but changjin actually doing vlive together while i was in the middle of finishing this???? MADNESS
> 
> this one is more changjin-centered so enjoy <3

**_Friday, 16:00_ **

**minho is catboy**

**hyunjin:** wanna hang out today

 **minho:** can’t

 **seungminnie:** okay

 **jeonginnie:** depends

 **cutie lix:** ahhhh sorry hyunnie i have plans with chan today :(((

 **cutie lix:** is something wrong??

 **cutie lix:** i can cancel

 **hyunjin:** no nothing’s wrong

 **hyunjin:** just wanted to leave the house for a bit

 **hyunjin:** you always have plans with chan these days 🙄

 **hyunjin:** when are you guys announcing the wedding?

 **cutie lix:** shut up dskfjkgljdg

 **cutie lix:** we’re just friends 😅

 **seungminnie:** friends who have a crush on each other

 **hyunjin:** and are too dumb to do anything about it

 **seungminnie:** exactly

 **cutie lix:** no…

 **seungminnie:** yes…

 **cutie lix:** i mean

 **cutie lix:** i Might think about kissing him every time i see his dimples

 **cutie lix:** and his smile when he talks about music

 **cutie lix:** when he cracks a bad joke bc he giggles a lot and it’s super cute

 **cutie lix:** or when he insists on hugging before saying goodbye

 **cutie lix:** or

 **jeonginnie:** please STOP

 **minho:** we get it you’re in love

 **cutie lix:** no

 **cutie lix:** my point is that

 **cutie lix:** i may get all these feelings and butterflies in my stomach but

 **cutie lix:** that’s just me

 **cutie lix:** i don’t think he sees me that way

 **cutie lix:** i’ve heard him say he’s straight a couple of times so

 **cutie lix:** it’s not even a possibility

 **hyunjin:** i mean…. i thought i was straight too

 **hyunjin:** until (do not interact) m*

 **hyunjin:** but you never know

 **| _hyunjin:_** _until (do not interact) m*_

 **seungminnie:** please do not mention your minho phase i want to erase that from my memory

 **hyunjin:** SEUNGMIN SHUT UP

 **hyunjin:** i said do not interact

 **jeonginnie:** i remember that too you were SO annoying

 **jeonginnie:** everything was minho this minho that do you think minho will like this shirt? and should i adopt a cat too so we can talk about cats?

 **seungminnie:** oh god the cat thing

 **seungminnie:** hyunjin sometimes you’re so stupid

 **hyunjin:** fuck you

 **minho:** i’m not gonna say anything

 **minho:** i’m hot so it’s understandable

 **minho:** i would do you too btw 😼

 **hyunjin:** oh my GOD go away

 **hyunjin:** we were talking about felix???

 **seungminnie:** right

 **seungminnie:** i think hyunjin’s got a point

 **seungminnie:** from what we know chan acts all whipped around you too so…

 **cutie lix:** no guys seriously

 **cutie lix:** it’s never going to happen

 **cutie lix:** i’m trying to get over it so please just don’t

 **hyunjin:** fine

 **hyunjin:** but you’re both dumbasses

 **seungminnie:** yeah

 **hyunjin:** so sm+ji hour? place?

 **seungminnie:** 8pm? mine and then we’ll see?

 **jeonginnie:** ugh okay

**_Friday, 16:15_ **

**hyunjin:** hey!

 **hyunjin:** can i ask you a question?

 **changbin:** sure

 **changbin:** what’s up

 **hyunjin:** it’s about chan

 **hyunjin:** well about chan and felix

 **hyunjin:** i really don’t want to pry and i hope it’s okay if i ask this

 **hyunjin:** you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to

 **hyunjin:** but

 **changbin:** yes he’s totally whipped for felix

 **hyunjin:** is chan actually straight???????

 **hyunjin:** OH jdshfsdg

 **hyunjin:** seriously?

 **changbin:** i mean it’s not like he’s said it out loud

 **changbin:** but i think it’s pretty obvious

 **changbin:** for everyone

 **hyunjin:** except for them

 **changbin:** except for them

 **changbin:** yeah

 **changbin:** and he _says_ he’s straight but? would a straight person write a _love_ song to his _male_ friend????

 **changbin:** i don’t think so

 **hyunjin:** wait he wrote him a love song???

 **hyunjin:** felix never said anything about that!!!

 **changbin:** oh

 **changbin:** chan only told us that song was about felix once when he was drunk

 **changbin:** maybe he hasn’t told him

 **changbin:** anyways ignore that

 **changbin:** my point: he’s whipped and he doesn’t want to admit it

 **changbin:** i mean i kinda get it i guess

 **changbin:** it’s hard to realize you’re not straight when that’s all they’ve been teaching you you should be

 **hyunjin:** yeah… :/

 **hyunjin:** what do i do with this information now tho 💀

 **hyunjin:** bc felix is super into him but he says he’s not gonna do anything

 **hyunjin:** and it doesn’t seem like chan’s gonna do anything either…

 **changbin:** idk

 **changbin:** i don’t think there’s much we can do

 **changbin:** wait for them to finally realize what they want?

 **changbin:** why the sudden question tho

 **hyunjin:** oh nothing

 **hyunjin:** we were just talking about it with felix

 **hyunjin:** i haven’t seen him at all this week bc he always has plans with chan 😒

 **changbin:** right

 **changbin:** i’ve barely seen chan

 **changbin:** except for work related stuff

 **changbin:** even jisung’s busy these days

 **changbin:** what’s wrong with the world

 **hyunjin:** exactly :(

 **hyunjin:** btw

 **hyunjin:** i still have to give you back your clothes 😅

 **hyunjin:** should i give them to felix today since he’s meeting chan??

 **changbin:** oh right

 **changbin:** no need to bother them tho

 **changbin:** you can give them to me

 **changbin:** are you doing anything today?

 **hyunjin:** today?

 **changbin:** chan and jisung ditched me

 **changbin:** and saturday and sunday i have afternoon shifts

 **changbin:** if you can’t we can leave it for next week that’s okay too

 **hyunjin:** no don’t worry

 **hyunjin:** today’s okay for me!

 **changbin:** great

 **changbin:** come round by 19?

 **hyunjin:** yeah 😊

**_Friday, 16:30_ **

**minho is catboy**

**hyunjin:** @seungmin @jeongin i’ll be late

 **hyunjin:** wait for me?

 **jeonginnie:** noooooo i don’t want to be alone with seungmin

 **jeonginnie:** he’ll make me pose for pics again

 **jeonginnie:** 🤢🤢

 **seungminnie:** it’s not my fault my profs like you

 **seungminnie:** i always get +8/10 with your pics ✌

 **seungminnie:** just texts us before coming @hyunjin

 **hyunjin:** okay

 **hyunjin:** don’t traumatize my son

 **jeonginnie:** please stop saying i’m your son

* * *

Hyunjin stopped at the door, taking a big gulp of air. The hand in which he had carried the bag with Changbin’s clothes felt sweaty, which was gross. He left it on the floor for a second, scrubbing his right palm against his jeans, exhaling loudly. He was nervous.

The door was staring at him, waiting for him to knock, but he couldn’t. Not just yet.

He wondered what was it that made him feel like his insides were being turned out; asked himself, like he didn’t know the answer. It was an awful thing he tended to do: denying his feelings, because feelings were scary, and if he didn’t acknowledge them then they weren’t there.

But did he really have any feelings for Changbin? How could he when he didn’t even know him?

They had fucked, and he had cried in front of him, told him all about his life and his terrible dad and his failed dance career, but he had zero knowledge of Changbin’s life. Except for the obvious underground rapper situation, the only thing he knew about him is that he was _good_. Too good for him, he thought, and he was grateful for receiving even the tiniest bit of that kindness. Was he mistaking that gratitude for something else?

Maybe the only reason behind his legs being turned to jelly was embarrassment. Because he _should_ be embarrassed about last time, after all. Every time his brain brought him back the memory of him bending down besides that tree, Changbin having to hold him just so he wouldn’t fall face-down into his own vomit, shivers of pure shame and agony went through his body. It was definitely just embarrassment, he told himself. Total and utter humiliation.

But maybe (just maybe), he also knew deep (deep) down that he was actually kind of _excited_ to see Changbin again.

Hyunjin didn’t have to wait long after knocking. The door opened just a few seconds later, revealing a slightly disheveled Changbin. He looked good, even if he was wearing nothing out of the ordinary. A basic, short-sleeved black t-shirt tucked into washed out jeans, and round specs he would have never imagined him with. His tattooed arm was on full display, and the way the ink curved around his muscles was almost hypnotic. Hyunjin recalled he had _touched_ those tattoos, had kissed them and traced them all over, though the memory felt like a thousand years ago and was now blurry.

When he noticed the tiny smile on Changbin’s lips, he shook himself out of his reverie.

“Hey”, he greeted with his hand in an awkward gesture.

“Hey there. Come in”, Changbin greeted back, stepping away from the door so Hyunjin could pass. “Sorry for the mess. I wanted to clean up a little bit, but I was watching TV and lost track of time”, he said, scratching his head with a now apologetic smile.

“How come I always catch you watching TV?”, there was a friendly eyeroll as he entered the house.

It was still embarrassing, but at least there was certain familiarity with his surroundings, making the shame subside. Hyunjin turned around then, shoving the bag into Changbin’s face. “Your clothes. They’re clean and ironed”.

“I don’t think I’ve ever ironed anything in my entire life”, he heard Changbin’s muffled voice, the bag covering his face until he took it. “But great, thanks”.

“Well, me neither. I just put it on with the rest of the laundry”, Hyunjin said, shrugging.

“Yeah, I figured. I don’t think you know how to turn on the washing machine”, Changbin scoffed.

Hyunjin fell silent, a little hurt by the snarky comment, not quite getting if he was being serious or not.

“It was a joke”, Changbin added upon seeing his blank expression, “Sorry”, he grimaced.

“That’s okay. You’re not wrong”, Hyunjin said, a tentative smile on his lips.

Changbin let out a silent chuckle as he ducked his head a little, breaking eye contact. There was a strange tension between them as they both stayed rooted on their spots, not knowing where to look. The way Changbin was standing by the door while Hyunjin had taken off his shoes and was now standing in the tiny living room made it look like it was actually _his_ house, and not the other way around.

“So, what were you watching?”, Hyunjin asked, hands in his pockets, trying to get them out of their silence. He glanced at the TV screen, but it was black.

“I was about to start Hotel del Luna. I finished A Korean Odyssey and Netflix just played it next”.

Hyunjin feigned his best shocked and upset expression then, “You were going to watch Hotel del Luna without me?”

Changbin laughed at that, finally deciding to move. He tossed the bag inside his bedroom when he passed by it, adding it to the mess of scrunched up papers Hyunjin had seen out of the corner of his eye, and went straight to the kitchen while he talked, “We never agreed on watching it together”.

“I mean, yeah, but I thought you were going to tell me when you started it!”, Hyunjin whined as he watched him take out two beers from the fridge. He was offered one, but he rejected it with a shake of his head. The idea of alcohol made him feel nauseated, at least for the time being.

He felt slightly dumb acting like this, almost in flirting mode, but it was true; he had been hoping to talk with him again with that excuse.

“Okay, my bad”, Changbin put his hands up, like he was saying sorry, but there was a playful smile tugging at his lips. “I’m making a formal announcement, then”, he put his hands together, and looked at him suddenly serious, “Hyunjin, I inform you that I will be watching Hotel del Luna. It may take days, it may take weeks or it may take a month. Will you give me your blessing?”

Hyunjin couldn’t help but laugh at the stupid face he was pulling. His body relaxed bit by bit with each new chuckle, “I will give you my blessing… Only if you agree to do live reactions of every episode. I want to know everything”.

“Every episode?”, Changbin opened his eyes a little. “I’m not good at doing more than one thing at a time, you know”.

“Don’t you know how to pause a video?”, Hyunjin rolled his eyes as he took out one of the chairs from the living room table and sat in it. Changbin was leaning on the kitchen counter, facing him, and it was almost natural.

“Yeah, but if I keep pausing the episode it’s going to take forever to finish it”, the other complained.

“Ugh, fine. Then maybe just the first episode? And the last one! The last one too!”, Hyunjin whined again, this time pulling his puppy face.

“I agree to first episode, but I don’t know about the last one… You’re assuming I’m not going to drop it”, Changbin teased, raising an eyebrow. Only then Hyunjin noticed he was not wearing his piercing. A shame, he thought.

“You can’t!”, he almost begged. “You’re gonna like it, I swear”.

“We’ll see about that”, Changbin just laughed, taking a sip of his beer. The joke passed, and they were back again where they had started. An awkward silence.

He pondered if that was his cue to leave. In fact, maybe he should’ve left ten minutes ago, when he had given him the bag of clothes, the only reason he was there in the first place. But reading Changbin was almost impossible. Did he want him to leave? Or did he intend for them to hang out?

Hyunjin didn’t want to leave, that much he knew. It was silly of him, but he liked it there. He wanted to stay, talk about everything and nothing, have Changbin tease and laugh at him if he wanted; as long as he could keep watching that dumb smile of his, he didn’t mind one bit.

There was no way he could do that, though. He had already borrowed too much of his time, had already asked too much of him. Changbin was probably waiting for the right moment to kick him out, because that was it, they had nothing more to talk about, and he didn’t want to impose himself, make the other hate him again for wasting his time or—

“Wanna stay and watch it now?”, Changbin’s voice cut through his thoughts, making him snap his head up. “Do you have any plans?”

“No”, he shook his head, “I mean, no I don’t have any plans. And yes, sure, I’d like that”.

“Great”, Changbin smiled, and it made him feel great indeed, “I’ll get the popcorn”.

* * *

**_Friday, 19:30_ **

**hyunjin:** minnie don’t hate me but

 **hyunjin:** i can’t make it later

 **hyunjin:** something came up

 **hyunjin:** sorry

 **seungminnie:** you’re the one that wanted to hang out 🙄

 **seungminnie:** everything okay?

 **hyunjin:** yeah

 **hyunjin:** actually

 **hyunjin:** everything’s great

 **hyunjin:** and uh…

 **hyunjin:** will you promise not to tell anyone?

 **seungminnie:** mmm yes?

 **hyunjin:** i’m with changbin

 **hyunjin:** at his house

 **hyunjin:** i came to return his clothes

 **hyunjin:** but we ended up watching hotel del luna together 😳😳😳

 **seungminnie:** ugh

 **seungminnie:** will you stop falling for anyone who agrees to watch that stupid drama with you?

 **hyunjin:** shut up i just enjoy his company

 **hyunjin:** he’s nice

 **hyunjin:** at least he doesn’t remind me every five minutes that i’m leaving in less than a month saying he’s gonna miss me 🙄

 **seungminnie:** that’s felix not me

 **seungminnie:** don’t get all offended now

 **hyunjin:** yeah okay

 **hyunjin:** but my point

 **hyunjin:** it feels…good being with him

 **hyunjin:** calming somehow

 **seungminnie:** fine whatever

 **seungminnie:** if you’re happy then i’m happy etc

 **seungminnie:** stop texting me he’s gonna think it’s rude

 **hyunjin:** yeah sorry jglfdkgj

 **hyunjin:** please don’t tell the rest they’ll tease me for years

 **seungminnie:** i won’t

 **seungminie:** have fun 🧡

 **hyunjin:** thanks 🥺

 **hyunjin:** have fun with innie!!

* * *

“Well?”, Hyunjin was looking excitedly at Changbin, who was sitting on the other end of the sofa with his legs tucked in. “Did you like it?”

“I mean, it was okay. I can’t really judge from just one episode, Hyunjin”, he answered with a shrug, pressing pause before the next episode started.

“It was okay? Just that? C’mon! IU was so good in this, how can you not love her immediately?”, Hyunjin pointed at the screen, now showing IU’s face.

“I mean, I like her, but I don’t love her. Plus, the guy looks kinda dumb. Like he’s obviously going to turn into her puppy, and he's gonna follow her around even though he doesn’t want to in the beginning. They always do this and it’s so annoying”, Changbin argued.

“Okay he’s not _great_ but he’s nice! Besides this is not about him, this is about Manwol. Wait till you see her backstory… I’ve never cried so hard in my life”, Hyunjin said, energy buzzing off him talking about his favorite drama.

“Are you sure about that?”, Changbin raised his eyebrow.

Hyunjin’s mouth formed a big o, shocked, before throwing the pillow he was hugging at him, “Oh my god shut up”, he hid his face behind his hands, though he was certainly smiling. He couldn’t believe he had actually brought up _the incident_.

Changbin was now blatantly laughing, open-mouthed. He left the pillow on the floor so he wouldn’t get attacked by it again, before saying, “Don’t be shy, I thought it was a great moment. It created like, a bond between us, right? Or was that when you almost puked in my shoes?”

Hyunjin, eyes closed and hands now covering his ears, begged, “Please shut up this is so embarrassing”.

“I’ll stop, I’ll stop”, he said, though he was still laughing. “I’ve really seen all of you, haven’t I?”

This was the second time Changbin referenced their first night together, and he could _feel_ his ears burning red hot. Staying was a bad fucking idea, he thought.

“You’re being annoying, you know that right?”, Hyunjin said, trying to reach with his foot and kick him in the butt.

“I know, but it’s fun seeing you get all flustered”, Changbin just smiled, his devilish smile.

Hyunjin stuck his tongue out at him, feigning annoyance, though he enjoyed the teasing and the bickering. It made him laugh, and it reminded him of all those times he had done exactly the same when he was trying to flirt. Not that he thought Changbin was flirting with him, but it made him feel excited, nonetheless.

“Actually, I haven’t seen you dancing. I think that’s the only one I have left”, Changbin commented casually.

Hyunjin stared at the other, not sure what to say. If that was a joke too, it wasn’t funny. He didn’t like being reminded of his failures, least of all by him. There was a secret between them, something Hyunjin had only told _him_ , and he hadn’t thought of regretting it until now.

“Not funny”, he said meekly.

“I’m not trying to be funny. I’m serious”, and there was no hint of playfulness, not in his smile nor his voice.

“Why would you want that?”, Hyunjin asked quietly. The mood had suddenly shifted, and he could no longer meet his eyes. He kept busy staring at his hands, scratching at his fingernails.

“It’s just… the way you talked about dancing and how much you love it”, he sounded pensive for a moment, “Well, that’s the way I feel about music too. I was curious. Nothing more”.

There was not a trace of the Changbin from earlier, he thought. He was serious now, his words stained with a nostalgic feel he couldn’t quite understand.

And Hyunjin wanted to believe it, that he wasn’t laughing at him for being weak. He wanted to be able to show him all the videos in his phone, right there, even the ones he had kept only for himself. There was something about Changbin that made him want to get his approval, even his criticism, because he just _knew_ the other would not be content with just saying “You’re good” like his friends did. But he had become so sensitive when it came to dancing that it was difficult for him to even talk about it.

And when he didn’t say anything, not for a while, Changbin spoke again, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything. You don’t have to show me if you don’t want to, obviously. I’m not forcing you or anything”.

“No, it’s not that. I know you’re not forcing me”, Hyunjin finally opened his mouth, facing the other. He saw a look of regret, and he felt it too. “It’s just…”, he left the words hanging, not sure what his excuse was, biting his lip anxiously.

“Forget about it, seriously”, Changbin tried to dismiss the matter with a smile.

“No, it’s just that… I suck and I’m not sure if I want you to see that. I mean, you’ve seen worse from me, that’s for sure, but… I don’t know”, he grimaced, taking a pause as he came to a decision, “I guess I’ll think about it and… maybe I can send you some videos”, he concluded. It was the best he could do. “Only if you promise to watch them alone”, he added.

“Of course,” Changbin said immediately, “and if you really don’t want to, then that’s okay too. I mean it”.

Hyunjin drew the tiniest of smiles on his lips, looking at him. Changbin’s face was so kind he could almost cry, “Thanks”.

* * *

**_Friday, 23:00_ **

**hyunjin:** is innie angry bc i didn’t come?

 **seungminnie:** not really

 **seungminnie:** how’s the date going

 **hyunjin:** it wasn’t a date shut up

 **hyunjin:** and i’m already home

 **seungminnie:** fine then how did the date go

 **hyunjin:** again, not a date

 **hyunjin:** but it was… really nice…

 **hyunjin:** i’m kinda feeling 💕💖💗💞💓💘

 **hyunjin:** dgkldfgkdg

 **hyunjin:** don’t tell anyone

 **seungminnie:** why do you keep asking me to not tell anyone

 **hyunjin:** bc they’re gonna laugh at me??

 **seungminnie:** for… what, exactly?

 **hyunjin:** i don’t know

 **hyunjin:** they always laugh when i talk about him

 **hyunjin:** plus it’s stupid it’s not like i like him or anything

 **hyunjin:** i’m just really happy bc i had fun

 **hyunjin:** and it hasn’t been nice like this in a while

 **hyunjin:** and it doesn’t even matter cause i’m leaving

 **hyunjin:** so. yeah.

 **seungminnie:** you always do this

 **hyunjin:** do what

 **seungminnie:** you have something you really really like

 **seungminnie:** and instead of letting yourself enjoy it

 **seungminnie:** you crush it like it’s nothing

 **seungminnie:** you bring yourself down like you don’t deserve to be happy and do the things you like

 **seungminnie:** well you _do_

 **seungminnie:** and i’m sick of you being dumb

 **hyunjin:** mmmm okay???

 **hyunjin:** so you’re saying i’m not happy because i don’t want to?

 **seungminnie:** i’m saying sometimes you’re your worst enemy

 **hyunjin:** i’m not the one that’s making me go to fucking boston

 **hyunjin:** that’s my dad

 **seungminnie:** but you’re letting him

 **hyunjin:** seungmin

 **hyunjin:** please

 **hyunjin:** let’s not have this conversation right now

 **hyunjin:** why are you being like this anyways

 **hyunjin:** did you fight with jeongin? again?

 **seungminnie:** no

 **seungminnie:** well almost

 **seungminnie:** i don’t know it’s difficult to know when it’s him

 **seungminnie:** he yells at me, stops talking to me for a day and then calls me like nothing ever happened

 **seungminnie:** it’s frustrating

 **hyunjin:** that’s just jeongin

 **hyunjin:** but you know he never actually gets angry

 **hyunjin:** least of all with you

 **hyunjin:** he just needs his space is all

 **seungminnie:** i guess…

 **seungminnie:** sorry for being mean

 **seungminnie:** i don’t want to ruin your mood

 **seungminnie:** i’m glad you’re happy

 **hyunjin:** thanks minnie

 **hyunjin:** i want you to be happy too

 **hyunjin:** you know that right?

 **seungminnie:** i know 🧡

**_Friday, 23:30_ **

****

**changbin:** did you get home okay?

 **hyunjin:** yesss i got here a while ago

 **hyunjin:** thanks for today

 **hyunjin:** it was really fun 😊

 **hyunjin:** remember you promised to keep watching hotel del luna!!

 **changbin:** and i am a man of my word

 **changbin:** i’ll text you after every episode so you can scream and repeat iu’s lines like you did earlier

 **hyunjin:** shut up i did not do that

 **changbin:** i saw you

 **hyunjin:** i just. get excited. because i like it okay

 **changbin:** it was cute 😉

 **changbin:** thanks for staying

 **changbin:** i had fun too

 **hyunjin:** glad to hear that 😊

 **hyunjin:** im going right to sleep tho im tireddddd

 **changbin:** did i tire you out?

 **changbin:** we didn’t even do anything…

 **hyunjin:** no you idiot

 **hyunjin:** stop messing with me sdjlkg

 **changbin:** fineeee

 **changbin:** good night then

 **changbin:** text me if you can’t sleep!

 **hyunjin:** will do

 **hyunjin:** good night 💞

**_Saturday, 00:30_ **

****

**catboy:** did you die

 **jisung:** no wtf

 **catboy:** ok

 **jisung:**???

 **jisung:** why would i have died

 **catboy:** idk you didn’t text me that you got home

 **jisung:** yeah sorry i forgot

 **jisung:** i went straight to the kitchen bc i was starving

 **jisung:** maybe it has to do with Someone kicking me out of their house before having dinner

 **catboy:** ugh

 **catboy:** i told you that i didn’t know when my mom would be coming

 **catboy:** don’t whine

 **jisung:** i’m not whining i’m just stating the Facts

 **jisung:** and the facts are that you didn’t feed me

 **jisung:** therefore i had to feed Myself

 **jisung:** which i hate btw and i’m running out of my mom’s food

 **jisung:** and that’s why you didn’t get your message

 **jisung:** but it’s nice to see that you missed me 😎

 **catboy:** i did not say that i missed you

 **catboy:** but you always send that stupid message

 **catboy:** i was only Slightly concerned

 **jisung:** sure

 **jisung:** anyways it was nice meeting your cats but next time let’s just come to mine

 **jisung:** i won’t make you leave through the window like you did

 **catboy:** im sorry 🙄

 **catboy:** soonie loved you btw

 **catboy:** i’ve never seen her play that much with anyone

 **jisung:** i tend to have that effect on people

 **jisung:** and now on cats too

 **jisung:** maybe I’M the catboy 😼

 **catboy:** you are not

 **catboy:** also change my name on your phone or i will block you

 **jisung:** no 😎

 **jisung:** but yeah soonie was super cute i loved her too

 **jisung:** her dad was also really cute playing with her 🥺

 **jisung:** in fact he only paid attention to her…

 **catboy:** sorry but the movie you chose was awful

 **catboy:** i’m not letting you choose again

 **jisung:** oh so there’s a next time?

 **catboy:** jisung we’ve seen each other almost every day this week

 **jisung:** you never know with catboys…

 **jisung:** maybe you found another owner

 **jisung:** and you’ve ditched me already

 **catboy:** for the hundredth time you are NOT my owner

 **catboy:** and i am NOT A CATBOY

 **catboy:** i don’t even know who started this joke but you’re all annoying

 **jisung:** you’re not a catboy That we know of

 **jisung:** and you’re not my catboy Yet

 **catboy:** i hate you

 **catboy:** good night

 **jisung:** sweet dreams 😽

**jisung:** don’t get mad

 **catboy:** i’m mad

 **catboy:** ❤

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! 
> 
> comments always make me smile 👉👈 and you can talk to me on twt too i'll be screaming abt changjin vlive for weeks
> 
> [twt](https://twitter.com/noirxses)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> > **changbin:** permission to do something stupid
>> 
>> **ugly (jisung):** permission granted
>> 
>> **bangchan:** permission denied

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY BERTA DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love u i love u i love u!!!!!!!! since we cant see each other for the time being this is my gift
> 
> enjoy <3

**_Saturday, 12:00_ **

**changbin:** finished ep 2

 **changbin:** it was okay

 **changbin:** but i told you he would end up accepting the manager job!!

 **changbin:** im curious abt manwol’s past tho

 **hyunjin:** omg good morning

 **hyunjin:** you’re already watching ep 2? wow

 **hyunjin:** it was obvious he was going to accept the job so you’re not getting any points for this

 **hyunjin:** manwol tho 👀 you’ll see…

 **changbin:** okay 👀

 **changbin:** how did u sleep today

 **hyunjin:** not great

 **hyunjin:** i fell asleep after saying good night but then woke up at like, 4am

 **hyunjin:** i put on some music and managed to get another 2 hours of sleep ✌

 **changbin:** you’ve been awake since 6?

 **changbin:** that sucks

 **hyunjin:** a little

 **hyunjin:** but that’s okay

 **changbin:** i literally can’t fall asleep listening to music

 **changbin:** how did you do it

 **changbin** : what did you listen to

 **hyunjin:** oh

 **hyunjin:** actually

 **hyunjin:** well this is embarrassing jfghdg

 **hyunjin:** but i listened to your songs

 **hyunjin:** i mean 3racha’s

 **hyunjin:** they’re good songs

 **hyunjin:** yeah

 **changbin:** 😳

 **changbin:** you’re saying you fell asleep listening to our songs?

 **changbin:** chan’s not going to be happy about this

 **hyunjin:** nooooo jfgdkgdg

 **hyunjin:** i mean

 **hyunjin:** i did fall asleep after a while

 **hyunjin:** but not bc it was boring

 **hyunjin:** i like your music i swear 😔

 **changbin:** sure

 **changbin:** just keep lying to me 😞

 **hyunjin:** stop it jdsfkjg

 **hyunjin:** i’ve been listening to your songs these days

 **hyunjin:** you guys are good

**_Saturday, 12:10_ **

**3RACHA BOIS**

**changbin:** permission to do something stupid

 **ugly (jisung):** permission granted

 **bangchan:** permission denied

 **bangchan:** whatever it is

 **changbin:** please

 **changbin:** can i invite hyunjin to tomorrow’s gig? 👉👈

 **ugly (jisung):** did you fall on your head or something

 **bangchan:** it’s not like you need our permission

 **bangchan:** but. Why

 **changbin:** i do need your permission

 **changbin:** or else you’re gonna be scowling at him the whole night

 **changbin:** i don’t know we’re friends now i guess

 **changbin:** and he’s saying he likes our music and stuff…

 **changbin:** so maybe he wants to come?

 **changbin:** we don’t have that many fans we have to take care of them you know 🤧

 **ugly (jisung):** you’re friends?????

 **ugly (jisung):** when did this happen

 **ugly (jisung):** and why didn’t you inform me immediately

 **ugly (jisung):** you’ve already replaced me for him didn’t you

 **ugly (jisung):** you traitor

 **changbin:** shut up

 **changbin:** we hang out yesterday

 **changbin:** since you both Abandoned me

 **changbin:** and i mean chan choosing felix over us? i get it

 **changbin:** rude but i get it

 **changbin:** but you

 **changbin:** whatever the hell you’re doing these days

 **changbin:** you’re the traitor

 **ugly (jisung):** i was busy with Stuff

 **ugly (jisung):** but i still love you 😔

 **changbin:** what Stuff

 **ugly (jisung):** just Stuff

 **ugly (jisung):** stop being so damn nosy

 **ugly (jisung):** AND TELL US WHAT HAPPENED WITH HYUNJIN

 **ugly (jisung):** god i cant believe you really met up with him and didn’t say anything???

 **ugly (jisung):** ARE WE NOT FRIENDS ANYMORE

 **changbin:** nothing happened

 **changbin:** and i knew chan was gonna act all judgy that’s why i didn’t say anything 🙄

 **ugly (jisung):** since when do we care what chan has to say????

 **ugly (jisung):** no offense chan i love u 😘

 **bangchan:** none taken

 **bangchan:** but changbin’s right i am judging him

 **| _ugly (jisung):_** _since when do we care what chan has to say????_

 **changbin:** i care

 **changbin:** but seriously nothing happened

 **changbin:** he just came to return the clothes he borrowed last time

 **changbin:** we watched some tv

 **changbin:** and then he went home

 **ugly (jisung):** stop inviting him to your house wtf

 **ugly (jisung):** what did you watch? something steamy? 👀

 **changbin:** just netflix

 **changbin:** i started watching a drama he likes

 **changbin:** and he stayed to watch it with me

 **ugly (jisung):** what are you his boyfriend

 **ugly (jisung):** ew

 **changbin:** no

 **changbin:** i watched that stupid anime you like so much and that doesn’t mean i’m your boyfriend does it

 **ugly (jisung):** you’re not?

 **ugly (jisung):** but i’ve been telling all my friends that we’re dating 😳

 **changbin:** you have no friends

 **ugly (jisung):** ouch

 **bangchan:** ok but

 **changbin:** no buts

 **changbin:** we’re not having this conversation again

 **bangchan:** you didn’t even let me finish

 **changbin:** bc i know what you’re going to say

 **bangchan:** i just. don’t trust him

 **bangchan:** what if he pulls that same shit again

 **changbin:** he won’t

 **changbin:** and if he does then it’s my fault not yours

 **bangchan:** ok whatever

 **bangchan:** i still think he’s a jerk for what he did

 **bangchan:** idc if he apologized

 **changbin:** and i still think he’s a spoiled brat

 **changbin:** but he’s harmless

 **changbin:** and he’s not in a good place rn so maybe i pity him too

 **changbin:** idk

 **changbin:** i like him

 **changbin:** isn’t that enough?

 **ugly (jisung):** YOU LIKE HIM

 **ugly (jisung):** AM I HEARING WEDDING BELLS???

**ugly (jisung): 👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨**

**changbin:** I MEAN AS A PERSON FRIEND

 **changbin:** GOD JISUNG SHUT UP

 **ugly (jisung):** you’re right i am a god

 **changbin:** im this 🤏 close to leaving the groupchat

 **ugly (jisung):** do it coward

 **| _changbin:_** _isn’t that enough?_

 **bangchan:** i guess it is

 **ugly (jisung):** that was so powerful

 **ugly (jisung):** so now can he do the stupid thing?

 **bangchan:** as i said he doesn’t need my permission

 **bangchan:** but yeah

 **changbin:** great

 **changbin:** thanks

 **ugly (jisung):** can’t wait to meet him

 **ugly (jisung):** maybe this time he’ll go home with me 😎

 **changbin:** stay away from him

**_Saturday, 12:30_ **

**changbin:** maybe felix told you

 **changbin:** but we’re doing another gig tomorrow

 **changbin:** you’re welcome to come watch us 👐

 **hyunjin:** no he didn’t say anything 😯

 **hyunjin:** but sure i’ll ask the guys if they’re free!!

 **hyunjin:** didn’t you say you had work tomorrow tho?

 **changbin:** yeah but my shift ends at 22

 **changbin:** gig starts at 23

 **changbin:** it’s tight but i think i can make it

 **changbin:** chan and jisung can cover for me if i’m late 

**changbin:** wouldn’t be the first time

 **hyunjin:** sucks 😥

 **hyunjin:** where’s the place?

 **changbin:** [location attached]

 **hyunjin:** inferno?

 **hyunjin:** sounds creepy

 **changbin:** i mean it’s not the best place

 **changbin:** but we’ve been there a couple of times

 **changbin:** they’re nice and they give us free beer so

 **hyunjin:** stop drinking beer it tastes like piss

 **changbin:** but it’s free

 **hyunjin:** dfjhdg you’re dumb

 **changbin:** can’t really argue with that 😔

**_Saturday, 13:00_ **

**minho is catboy**

**hyunjin:** so who’s coming with me tomorrow to 3racha’s gig 👉👈

 **jeonginnie:** no one?????

 **cutie lix:** how do you know abt the gig 😯

 **hyunjin:** changbin kinda invited me 👉👈

 **hyunjin:** and i don’t want to go alone 👉👈

 **hyunjin:** pretty please 👉👈

 **cutie lix:** you know i’d totally go but i can’t :(

 **cutie lix:** seungmin and i have classes monday morning

 **cutie lix:** at like 8am which is illegal i think but whatever

 **seungminnie:** yeah sorry

 **hyunjin:** skip classes?

 **cutie lix:** classes are important jinnie you can’t just skip them 😤

 **hyunjin:** if i recall correctly

 **hyunjin:** the one who always asked us in highschool if we wanted to go to the arcade

 **hyunjin:** was you 😤

 **hyunjin:** you’ve changed bro

 **cutie lix:** okay but highschool was boring

 **cutie lix:** and we have tons of work due by the end of the week :(

 **hyunjin:** ugh fine

 **hyunjin:** innie? 🥺

 **jeonginnie:** no

 **hyunjin:** what’s your excuse

 **jeonginnie:** i just don’t want to

 **hyunjin:** i’ll remember this next time you want to come to my island for fossils

 **jeonginnie:** i already got them all 😜

 **hyunjin:** whatever

 **hyunjin:** i’ll have to ask…

 **hyunjin:** m… mi.. min-god i can’t even say it

 **hyunjin:** minho?

 **minho:** took you long enough

 **minho:** i was actually going to say yes

 **minho:** but since you’re being a bitch about it i’ll say no 😉

 **hyunjin:** noooooooooo please minho

 **hyunjin:** you’re my only hope etc i don’t know i never watched those movies

 **hyunjin:** please please please 🥺🥺🥺

 **minho:** i’m thinking about it

 **minho:** but first

 **minho:** why the fuck did he invite you????

 **minho:** since when are you this friendly with him???

 **hyunjin:** he invited me bc he’s nice

 **hyunjin:** we talk from time to time

 **hyunjin:** anything else you want to know?

 **minho:** honestly?

 **minho:** no

 **jeonginnie:** but i want to

 **jeonginnie:** do you like him? 👀

 **cutie lix:** oh 👀

 **hyunjin:** no???

 **hyunjin:** we’re just friends

 **minho:** friends who fucked the first time they met

 **hyunjin:** he’s hot

 **hyunjin:** that doesn’t mean i want to date him

 **minho:** yet

 **hyunjin:** are you coming or not

 **minho:** isn’t that what he said to you 😳

 **jeonginnie:** JDSHKDHGDGF

 **hyunjin:** how old are you 🙄

 **hyunjin:** but i’ll take that as a yes

 **hyunjin:** [location attached]

 **hyunjin:** it starts at 23 i’ll go to your place at 21 so we can get ready ✨

 **hyunjin:** oh wait you have to help me with something

 **hyunjin:** i’ll just go at 17 okay?

 **minho:** no wtf

 **minho:** why do you want my help

 **minho:** ask seungmin

 **hyunjin:** i obviously already asked him but he’s busy with uni stuff 🙄

 **hyunjin:** i don’t trust jeongin

 **hyunjin:** and lixie… i love you lix but yeah i don’t trust you either

 **cutie lix:** understandable

 **jeonginnie:** hey 😤

 **minho:** can’t you just do it today

 **minho:** or literally any other day

 **minho:** leave me aloneeee

 **hyunjin:** no

 **hyunjin:** stop complaining i’m leaving in a month this will be our last bonding moment together

 **minho:** fuck you

 **minho:** don’t be late

 **hyunjin:** 💖

**_Saturday, 13:15_ **

****

**hyunjin:** i’m going with minho **_🥳🎉_**

 **changbin:** great

 **changbin:** wait who’s minho

 **hyunjin:** you met him that first time

 **hyunjin:** the one who wasn’t felix?

 **changbin:** oh the grumpy one who wouldn’t shut up abt his cats

 **hyunjin:** ye that’s him

 **changbin:** what about felix?

 **changbin:** he usually comes to all our stuff

 **hyunjin:** he’s got classes monday morning :(

 **changbin:** can’t he just skip them

 **hyunjin:** that is exactly what i told him 😔

 **hyunjin:** but sadly no

 **changbin:** i see 😔

 **changbin:** that’s why chan’s in a bad mood today

 **hyunjin:** dfkghgdkfjdg he is?

 **changbin:** just joking

 **changbin:** see you tomorrow then!

 **hyunjin:** yes 😊

* * *

**_Sunday, 22:00_ **

**felix:** chan!!!! good luck today i’m sure you’ll do great as always \^o^/

 **channie <3:** not that great bc you won’t be there 😥

 **felix:** don’t say that 😰😰

 **felix:** i’m sorry i can’t be there…

 **felix:** i promise i’ll go next time

 **felix:** i’ll skip classes if i have to!!!

 **channie <3:** aww no worries

 **channie <3:** you know i’m just joking

 **channie <3:** i’ll really miss you tonight tho :(

 **channie <3:** you’re our number one fan

 **felix:** that i am

 **felix:** don’t let anyone take my place 😤

 **channie <3:** oh i think hyunjin’s coming for your spot 👀

 **felix:** sdhgksgj

 **felix:** we are NOT going to talk about _them_

 **felix:** it feels weird

 **felix:** but i’m glad they’re friends now

 **channie <3:** i mean i don’t really like him

 **channie <3:** i know he’s your friend and all but…

 **felix:** hey hyunjin’s really nice :(

 **felix:** he can be a bitch sometimes

 **felix:** but he’s not a bad person :(

 **felix:** i still don’t even know what happened with changbin…

 **channie <3:** idk

 **channie <3:** it’s fine

 **channie <3:** we’ll talk later okay? gotta get ready!!

 **felix:** okay

 **felix:** have fun!!!!!!

 **felix:** i’ll ask them to take some videos for me 😊

* * *

The bar looked shabby even from the outside.

It was a small establishment, black walls and black windows and a neon sign that flickered every few seconds showing the word _INFERNO_. At least that’s what Hyunjin knew it should say, since the last two letters had apparently decided to give up and the only thing that actually lit up was _INFER_.

Crammed between two other clubs, they almost missed it entirely, thinking it was just the storage room for one of them. There were lines of people outside, but none of them seem interested in the tiny bar, so why would they?

It wasn’t until a few people near the door actually opened it and went inside, that they realized _that_ was their destination.

Minho clicked his tongue after staring at the place, clearly annoyed, but stayed silent as they approached the entrance.

Judging by the outside, Hyunjin expected the inside to be even worse. Cheap alcohol, sticky floors, no lights, heavy metal blasting through the speakers. Ten people at most, although that would actually make the place seem full seeing how small it was. Definitely a place they could only enter by mistake.

As soon as the door closed behind them, he realized his mistake.

Hyunjin, as per usual, had been wrong.

Both friends stared at each other for a second as they tried to take it all in. It was a difficult task, seeing that the place was _full_ , and the music was so loud he almost missed Minho’s breathless “fuck” right in his ear.

The inside wasn’t small at all. It grew into a stage located at the end of the room, the bar counter going along with it occupying the left side. Posters of famous rock singers covered the walls, although most of them looked old and grey; surely a gift from the previous owners they had decided to keep for some reason. It didn’t matter, because they were covered with drawings, messages and signatures from apparently everyone who had ever set foot on the place. Everything glowed bright red thanks to the neon signs above the stage and on both sides of the bar.

Hyunjin loved it.

“What the fuck”, Minho muttered again. “How did all these people find this fucking place?”

“Right?”, Hyunjin hummed, still looking around like he didn’t quite believe it.

The thrill swelled inside him. It started as a tickling sensation in his stomach, but it soon spread to all his limbs, like a buzz, until there was an inevitable smile on his lips, “Let’s get to the first row”.

Maneuvering himself around the sea of people was not an easy feat, however, much less having to drag Minho along with him. It was almost tradition, linking hands as they moved through a crowd, though it was usually Felix leading them. Hyunjin wondered how the freckled boy managed to not to step on anyone as he tried to make way, because he kept bumping against elbows and butts and all kinds of body parts. They mumbled apologies, only to yell them again instead, the music too loud. Or at least Hyunjin did; Minho was just glaring at everyone, as if that would be enough to make them move.

They didn’t make it to first row, the crowd too thick for them there, but they managed to steal a really good spot near the stage. It was a strategic spot: the bar counter was right behind them, so they wouldn’t get lost going for another drink, and they had a clear path to the restroom.

“What do you want?”, Minho asked once they claimed the space as theirs.

“Just… coke”, Hyunjin answered after a second. He still wasn’t feeling like drinking again.

Minho scoffed, “Coke? Are you serious? You’re not drinking non-alcoholic beverages on my watch”.

“I don’t wanna end up like last time”, Hyunjin frowned at him.

“Then fucking learn how to drink?”, Minho rolled his eyes. “Maybe don’t try to keep up with me like last time”.

“Will you just do what I ask? For once?”, Hyunjin rolled his eyes back at him, slightly annoyed.

“I already did that today, remember?”, Minho pointed at him, a sarcastic smile on his face. “I’m not getting you ‘just coke’. Sober Hyunjin is boring”.

Hyunjin couldn’t argue against that. Minho had actually been waiting for him that afternoon, ready for whatever he had prepared, and he had helped him without fussing too much. It was a first, honestly.

“But drunk Hyunjin is worse”, he groaned, though his voice was already weak.

“How about only slightly drunk Hyunjin?”, Minho elbowed him on his side, smiling that awful smile.

“Just get me a beer”, he finally said, pouting lightly. He didn’t like beer, but sometimes it was simply the only option. “Happy?”

“Very much so”, Minho nodded, his smile widening. “I’ll be right back”

After that, it was mostly chatting and waiting for the clock to get to 11. There were a few people up on the stage, carrying speakers and microphones and things Hyunjin didn’t even know the name of. None of them were Changbin, though. For a moment he thought about texting him, ask him if he had made it in time, but he held back. Something about constantly wanting to text Changbin made him feel needy, and he was trying to avoid it.

It didn’t take long for it to start.

When the few lights went out, everyone cheered instantly. If it was for 3RACHA, Hyunjin didn’t know. Maybe they were just excited. But then a spotlight lit up, and there were two people on stage now, and the screams were even _louder_. He joined them for a bit, but he wasn’t nearly as enthusiastic as the rest of them. Even Minho seemed thrilled, for some reason.

Music exploded from the speakers and the performance started just like that, Chan and Jisung moving around the stage relentlessly, full of energy. They were almost screaming over the track, and the whole place was screaming with them. Zone was one of Hyunjin’s favorites, and he couldn’t help but hum along to the few lyrics he knew. When it was time for Changbin’s part, he waited for the big reveal.

There wasn’t.

Jisung did it like it was nothing, Chan hyping him up by his side. It almost looked like it was planned.

“Where’s your boyfriend?”, Minho yelled in his ear when the first song was over.

“I don’t know”, he yelled back, an exaggerated shrug.

“Don’t be sad, Jinnie. I’m sure he’ll be here soon”, his friend said with a pout, even though Hyunjin never said he was sad.

Minho sneaked an arm around his waist and dragged him closer, leaving a sloppy kiss on his cheek. He was on his third drink now, which only meant he had entered his flirty phase. Hyunjin’s excitement had died a little, but he was glad to see that at least someone was having fun.

There were a couple more songs after that, still just the two of them, and Hyunjin tried not to think much about it. He looked at his phone, but there were no messages. Why would there be any messages?

Chan and Jisung were talking now, a break to slow their breaths and recharge. They had a certain aura around them, exuding confidence like they owned the stage. Everyone stared in awe, himself included. He recalled Changbin saying they had already performed there a few times, and it showed. The boys kept joking around, pointing to a few people they knew, laughing when they were both handed beers by one of the bartenders.

At one point, Jisung looked like he was searching for someone, while Chan kept talking about how grateful they were to be able to stand there again. The search stopped when his eyes landed on Hyunjin. He thought he saw him _winking_ , but that couldn’t actually be possible. He was about to ask Minho about it, but apparently it was the end of the speech and the lights went out again. The yelling started, and then it was too late to try and get his friend’s attention.

“Are you guys ready!?”, Chan growled into the mic.

Hyunjin joined the cheers without thinking too much. Was he ready? Sure.

It was when another voice reverberated through the room that he realized. He was not ready.

Changbin was standing on the center of the stage. He was wearing all black, as per usual, but this time he had added some chains to his pants, and his piercing glinted for a second when the light hit his face. The tattoos on his arm glowed red with the light. He looked stunning.

When the music started, it was a melody Hyunjin didn’t recognize at all. That didn’t stop him from tearing his throat out, though. He jumped and screamed and drank and laughed. And when Changbin found him amongst the crowd, locked eyes with him and _smiled_ , he felt so ecstatic he could almost explode.

* * *

**_Monday, 01:00_ **

****

**hyunjin:** that was fucking amazing

 **hyunjin:** my throat hurts

 **changbin:** oh i saw you

 **changbin:** you and your friend were going crazy

 **changbin:** it was so funny

 **hyunjin:** dhsfkdhklsdg

 **hyunjin:** im excitedddddd

 **hyunjin:** you guys are really good

 **hyunjin:** and that new song???

 **hyunjin:** you didn’t say anything abt a new song!!!

 **hyunjin:** i want to listen to it again

 **hyunjin:** release th mixtape

 **changbin:** kdjsfkdjgkdg

 **changbin:** you’re so dumb

 **changbin:** i’ll look for you in a bit okay?

 **changbin:** don’t drink too much 😔🙏

 **hyunjin:** i won’t i promise!!!

**_Monday, 01:00_ **

**minho:** act as if you don’t know me or else 🔪🔪🔪

 **minho:** and what was that wink

 **minho:** hyunjin was right there

 **squirrel:** don’t be mad

 **squirrel:** you just looked hot

 **squirrel:** also i didn’t know you if you were coming or not

 **squirrel:** why didn’t you say anything???

 **minho:** it was a surprise

 **squirrel:** what kind of surprise is this if we can’t even talk 🙄

 **minho:** just a surprise

 **minho:** aren’t you happy seeing my face

 **squirrel:** no 😤

 **minho:** i know you are 😘

 **squirrel:** maybe

 **squirrel:** a little

 **squirrel:** are we at least going home together?

 **minho:** we’ll see

 **squirrel:** min

 **squirrel:** :(

 **minho:** yeah you dumbass ofc we’re going home together

 **squirrel:** :D

 **squirrel:** see you soon 💖

* * *

“You dyed your hair black?”, were Changbin’s first words as he approached them, an incredulous smile on his beautiful round face. Jisung and Chan were following him, talking between them. “I thought it was the lighting or something. Fuck”.

Hyunjin avoided his eyes in embarrassment, chuckling awkwardly. He brushed his hair back, combing his fingers through it as he tended to do when he was nervous.

It was something he had been meaning to do for a while. His golden locks had only been an experiment born out of spite, and he never intended for them to last that long. His father always hated it when he went out of the norm, so when he first started talking about Boston, Hyunjin did just that. He thought it was some kind of statement, that it would accomplish something. Maybe his dad would grow tired of him and leave him alone, and then he would go back to his normal hair and his normal life. When his dad ignored him, he kept going.

Playing around with his image had been fun. He had tried curling his hair, using fake piercings, and even learned how to do a basic smoky eye makeup just to see his dad boiling with rage. It only ever lasted a few days, anyways. And after a while, the blonde faded, and his roots had grown until it was all a mix of black, soft brown and sprinkles of a weird yellow. It didn’t look good anymore, he knew, but he didn’t want to admit it. Going back to black meant the end of his rebellious phase, which meant the imminent beginning of his new life away from his friends and family.

Or that was what he thought, until recently. Ever since he started talking with Changbin, he had been reconsidering a lot of things. There was regret and sorrow, shame and disappointment, a feeling of defeat that soaked his bones every night. But overall, even then, there was the strong desire of being _happy_. He was tired of doing things, or not doing them, because of his father. And he realized that maybe his hair color wasn’t a token of anything. Maybe he could dye his hair black just because _he wanted_ , not because his dad would say this or that.

He still did it with Minho’s help, because it was fun, and he preferred his friend’s whines to his hairdresser’s poor attempt at conversation that would be later reproduced to his mother.

He liked the result even more than the blonde look. It was still long, because cutting it was off the table, and Minho had put part of it in a tiny ponytail on the top of his head that bounced every time he laughed.

“Do you like it?”, Hyunjin asked, looking at Changbin.

“It looks great. I love it”, there was the widest smile on Changbin’s face.

Hyunjin could only giggle happily.

Introductions were due, although they technically already knew each other. Still, Changbin reminded Chan and Jisung who he was, and Hyunjin did the same with Minho. He was grateful for those three beers, because he would’ve felt awfully awkward without them. He wasn’t drunk, but he was at that glorious point where everything seems funny and everyone is your friend. Even the ones who stared at you like they would eat you alive. Was Chan okay?

“You guys really killed it out there”, Hyunjin said. “It was amazing”.

“I mean, we always kill it, but thanks dude”, Jisung smiled at him, arms crossed confidently. “We did almost blow it because Someone decided to show up half an hour late”, he added glaring at Changbin.

“I already apologized. Stop whining or you’re paying for my ride here”, Changbin punched his arm lightly, giving cue to a dramatic Jisung fake crying and clutching to Chan’s side for support. Changbin didn’t even react, like that was something he was used to.

“Oh, I thought it was planned. You know, to hype up the new song and everything. Which was also amazing, by the way”, Hyunjin said.

“Yeah, no”, Changbin chuckled. “It’s just that my boss is a fucking prick, and he wanted me to do inventory last minute”.

“Sucks”, Hyunjin nodded as if he understood, though he still wasn’t quite sure where Changbin even worked. For some reason, he felt like speaking about work with him was banned. “Still, you guys made it look good. We had a great time. Right, Minho?”, he asked, looking at his friend.

Minho had been quiet the whole time, just sipping his drink. “Yeah, sure”, he shrugged. “I don’t know, I was taking videos the whole time because Felix begged me to, so. I was busy fighting for a good angle”.

At Felix’s mention, Chan’s face lit up. The oldest of the trio had also been silent, only throwing the occasional smile here and there, but suddenly his eyes were sparkling as he asked about their friend and told them what a pity it was he couldn’t come.

From then on, they did the only thing a group of strangers put together by a friend in common could do: talk about said friend and exchange their best stories.

Chan told them about their time in Australia, when they were both kids, how they knew each other because of their parents and how they met almost every single day. He said Felix was the nicest boy he had ever met, always following him around saying _he_ was the coolest person he had ever met. There were stories about spending school breaks together at each other’s family vacation houses, but also summer camps and Christmas. Felix had been a constant presence in Chan’s life, some kind of safe space, as he put it. Both families had decided to move back to Korea, though Felix’s did it a year later. Chan referred to it as the worst year of his life, and Hyunjin had to hide his smile, glancing at Changbin’s reaction. They shared a look and chuckled silently.

They talked about music too, and Hyunjin was surprised to see Minho was the one asking questions. He wanted to know how their songs were born, and Chan was kind enough to explain every little detail to him, Jisung and Changbin chipping in every once in a while. Hyunjin looked and listened, even talked about dancing. The styles he liked the most, the styles he wanted to try. When Jisung suggested he should make a choreo for one of their songs, all of them exploded in laughter.

He was happy for a moment.

Then came a nagging thought at the back of his head, poking at him to make him listen. To make him realize that this was all for nothing, that he could not have this, would not have this. It was the same despair that filled him every night. He was keen on not letting it get to him, not that night, but it was hard when he was so used to it already.

There was the light touch of a hand, and he found himself looking at Changbin. ‘Are you okay?’. Unspoken words. Hyunjin stared at him for a second. The kindness in his eyes, as always, broke him into little pieces and pieced him back together. He smiled and nodded. If he had him by his side, maybe he really was okay.

* * *

**_Monday, 03:30_ **

**catboy:** csn we ldave now??

 **jisung:** are you not havingfg funnn????

 **catboy:** i was

 **catboy:** untifl hcanghin and hyunjin stsatred flirtigng

 **catboy:** theyrr sannoing im here too

 **jisung:** ohhhhh catboy’s angry cs he needs attention??

 **catboy:** np

 **catboy:** im tiret of prtding i don wanna kiss u

 **catboy:** cause i do

 **catboy:** u loked rlly hot

 **catboy:** bt also your cute

 **jisung:** god

 **jisung:** u reaksly like me dnt you????

 **catboy:** no

 **catboy:** only s little

**_Monday, 05:00_ **

**hyunjin:** [video attached]

 **changbin:** 😳

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in case u havent noticed i love drinking in bars/clubs scenes they're my shit
> 
> hope you guys liked it! and thanks for reading
> 
> comments always make me smile 🥰
> 
> [twt](https://twitter.com/noirxses)


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> > **hyunjin:** are u calling me pretty?
>> 
>> **changbin:** that’s not the point

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one is only texts
> 
> pls enjoy!

**_Monday, 05:00_ **

****

**hyunjin:** [video attached]

 **changbin:** 😳

 **changbin:** is this what i think it is?

 **changbin:** hyunjin

 **changbin:** are u okay

 **hyunjin:** sdhfjhdsj shut opp

 **hyunjin:** yss that me

 **hyunjin:** dancing 🤸‍♂️

 **changbin:** wow im

 **changbin:** you sure u want me to watch this?

 **changbin:** or are you just drunk?

 **hyunjin:** im not drunkkkk

 **hyunjin:** i mean maybe a little but

 **hyunjin:** i really really really want you to watch it

 **hyunjin:** its just. a short one

 **hyunjin:** im feeling happyyyyy okay

 **hyunjin:** 🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈

 **changbin:** oh god

 **changbin:** how are you drunk you only had like 5 beers

 **hyunjin:** leave me aloneeee

 **changbin:** 🤭🤭🤭

 **changbin:** okay im gonna watch it

 **hyunjin:** wait you’re watching it now???????

 **hyunjin:** BYE

 **changbin:** what why

 **changbin:** when do you want me to watch it??

 **hyunjin:** idk when i’m not looking????

 **changbin:** you’re not looking at me you’re staring at your phone screen

 **hyunjin:** same thing

 **changbin:** fine then

 **changbin:** i’ll watch it tomorrow i guess 😔

 **hyunjin:** nots okay

 **hyunjin:** i’ll just go to sleep

 **hyunjin:** and read your texts tomorrow morning

 **hyunjin:** or today morning

 **hyunjin:** whatever dhsjkhg

 **hyunjin:** i mean you can also just. not say anything

 **hyunjin:** whatever u want

 **hyunjin:** its okay

 **hyunjin:** im sorry im nervous dsfhdjsg

 **changbin:** stop being silly

 **changbin:** and go to sleep

 **changbin:** i promise there’ll be texts in the morning

 **changbin:** night 😘

 **hyunjin:** 🥰🥰🥰

 **hyunjin:** night 💖

**_Monday, 05:15_ **

****

**changbin:** i can see u

 **changbin:** you’re still online

 **changbin:** just go to sleep

 **changbin:** its pretty late

 **hyunjin:** dsfjsdgjsdkgjlg Fuck

 **hyunjin:** fine sorry

 **hyunjin:** im just too excited to sleep

 **hyunjin:** but i’ll turn off my phone

 **changbin:** yeah do that

 **changbin:** good night u idiot

 **hyunjin:** good night

 **hyunjin:** please constructive criticism only 🤧

**_Monday, 05:30_ **

**changbin:** hyunjin?

 **changbin:** ok there’s just one tick so i guess you did turn off your phone

 **changbin:** Fuck

 **changbin:** you’re really good??????

 **changbin:** like really really good?

 **changbin:** did you choreograph this?

 **changbin:** i don’t know much abt dancing But

 **changbin:** the moves were on point and perfect and they suited the song so much it was. Really pleasing. to watch

 **changbin:** also you looked kinda hot 😶

 **changbin:** im gonna be honest

 **changbin:** i thought youwere bad?

 **changbin:** not bad

 **changbin:** fuck sorry

 **changbin:** but like. you’re always so insecure

 **changbin:** and you didn’t even go to those auditions

 **changbin:** so i thought maybe you weren’t as good as you should be…?

 **changbin:** like standard-wise for a company and all that

 **changbin:** but at the same time

 **changbin:** the way you talk about it it’s just… so genuine and gentle

 **changbin:** like i always get the feeling that you like it A Lot

 **changbin:** you know your face always lits up whenever you talk abt it right?

 **changbin:** you looked so happy today when we asked u abt your favorite songs to dance to!

 **changbin:** it was cute!

 **changbin:** am i being too sappy?

 **changbin:** its jisungs fault for getting me. Slightly drunk

 **changbin:** but my point is

 **changbin:** that you’re really fucking good and i’m impressed

 **changbin:** also i can’t stop saying fuck im sorry

 **changbin:** there’s no constructive criticism tho 😔

 **changbin:** it’s just a 1 minute video i need more

 **changbin:** ofc when you’re ready

 **changbin:** also its fucking late im going to sleep

 **changbin:** bye 😴

**_Monday, 05:40_ **

**changbin:** update

 **changbin:** i may have rewatched it like. 6 times already

**_Monday, 13:30_ **

**hyunjin:** SEUNGMIN IM DYINGGGFG

 **hyunjin:** its an emergency

 **hyunjin:** read me

 **hyunjin:** help

 **hyunjin:** suenigmind

 **seungminnie:** what’s wrong

 **seungminnie:** are you okay?

 **hyunjin:** NO

 **seungminnie:** what happened?

 **hyunjin:** i sent changbin one of my practice videos

 **hyunjin:** bc i was drunk and happy and i’m a big fat Dumbass

 **hyunjin:** AND HE SAYS I’M REALLY GOOD??????????

 **hyunjin:** LIKE. WHAT

 **hyunjin:** HE SAYS I LOOK

 **hyunjin:** H

 **hyunjin:** O

 **hyunjin:** T

 **hyunjin:** wtf 😭😭😭😭

 **seungminnie:** that’s your emergency?

 **seungminnie:** changbin complimenting your dancing skills?

 **hyunjin:** yes!!!!!!?????

 **seungminnie:** okay?

 **seungminnie:** i have better things to do

 **seungminnie:** innie’s coming in 5 minutes

 **hyunjin:** who’s more important jeongin or me??????

 **seungminnie:** i’m not gonna answer that

 **hyunjin:** bitch?

 **seungminnie:** what do you want me to tell you anyways

 **seungminnie:** we’ve always told you you’re good

 **seungminnie:** but you never died bc of it 🙄

 **hyunjin:** i know but this is. Different

 **hyunjin:** you guys are my friends

 **seungminnie:** isn’t he your friend too?

 **hyunjin:** i mean

 **hyunjin:** yes

 **hyunjin:** but it’s still different

 **hyunjin:** i don’t think he would lie about something like this

 **hyunjin:** i think he’s serious

 **seungminnie:** mmm yeah i fucking hope so?

 **seungminnie:** it’d be rude to tell you you’re good if he doesn’t think so

 **hyunjin:** right?

 **seungminnie:** i don’t get it

 **seungminnie:** what’s the problem

 **hyunjin:** do you think i’m good?

 **seungminnie:** of course?

 **seungminnie:** haven’t we told you that like hundreds of times

 **hyunjin:** you did

 **hyunjin:** but idk

 **hyunjin:** i always thought you were just. Being nice

 **seungminnie:** obviously not?

 **seungminnie:** i’m not an expert or anything

 **seungminnie:** but every time you showed us a video i thought you were great

 **hyunjin:** really?

 **seungminnie:** yes?

 **hyunjin:** wow

 **hyunjin:** 😳

 **hyunjin:** thank you minnie

 **hyunjin:** actually

 **hyunjin:** can i tell you something?

 **seungminnie:** sure

 **seungminnie:** wait no innie’s ringing

 **seungminnie:** is it something important?

 **seungminnie:** i can tell him to wait downstairs

 **hyunjin:** oh no

 **hyunjin:** not at all

 **hyunjin:** it’s fine

 **hyunjin:** have fun with your boyfriend!! 😘😘

 **seungminnie:** he’s not my boyfriend

 **seungminnie:** yet

 **hyunjin:** wait

 **hyunjin:** what does that mean 😱

**_Monday, 14:00_ **

**minho:** han jisung wake the fuck up

 **minho:** i’m hungry and you have literally Nothing in your fridge

 **minho:** how can u live like this

 **minho:** jisung

 **minho:** jisuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuung

 **minho:** im trying to make as much noise as possible and you’re still sleeping wtf

 **minho:** i hate u

 **minho:** im going grocery shopping

 **minho:** im taking your keys bye

**_Monday, 15:00_ **

**squirrel:** good morning where the fuck are you

 **squirrel:** you’ve been gone for an hour are u buying the whole place???

 **squirrel:** that actually sounds romantic 🥺

 **squirrel:** also you could’ve woken me up u know

 **minho:** fucking finally

 **minho:** also sorry but there’s so many stray cats around your building

 **minho:** i went back to buy some tuna for them

 **minho:** and

 **minho:** well i’m still here bc i had to make sure everyone got their share

 **minho:** and i Tried to wake u up but you were fucking dead

 **minho:** plus u…looked cute

 **squirrel:** 😳😳😳😳

 **squirrel:** stop showing me affection i cant take it

 **squirrel:** please leave the cats alone i want cuddles

 **minho:** there’s still one that hasn’t eaten yet

 **squirrel:** what about me

 **squirrel:** im hungry too 😤

 **minho:** then maybe don’t sleep until fucking 3pm?

 **squirrel:** its your fault

 **squirrel:** arent you tired after last night? 😩

 **minho:** no you’re just weak

 **squirrel:** yeah

 **squirrel:** weak for you 😚

 **minho:** please don’t be corny

 **squirrel:** i know you secretly like it

 **squirrel:** are u staying today?

 **minho:** yes

 **minho:** if u want

 **squirrel:** of course me wants

 **squirrel:** did you buy ramen???

 **minho:** no im tired of your shit meals

 **minho:** im cooking today

 **squirrel:** but

 **squirrel:** i have to survive the rest of the week

 **squirrel:** please min

 **minho:** im not going back for fucking ramen

 **squirrel:** pretty please? 🥺

 **minho:** 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

 **squirrel:** thank you!!!!!

 **squirrel:** and come back quickly i want my good morning Kiss

 **minho:** god you’re such a baby

 **squirrel:** your baby?

 **minho:** i’ll be there in 10

**_Monday, 16:00_ **

****

**felix:** looks like you had fun yesterday!!!

 **felix:** minho sent me the videos

 **felix:** you killed it 🤘🤘🤘🤘

 **felix:** as always

 **channie <3:** awwww thanks lix 😊

 **channie <3:** yeah we had a great time actually

 **channie <3:** i love that place

 **channie <3:** it was awesome

 **felix:** i’m glad!!

 **felix:** that place tho

 **felix:** your first gig was there right??

 **channie <3:** yeah!!!

 **channie <3:** you remember that?

 **channie <3:** god that was embarrassing as fuck

 **felix:** yeah i thought it looked familiar

 **felix:** but what are u talking about it was great!!

 **felix:** and you’re even better now ✨

 **channie <3:** no you’re just biased

 **felix:** i am not 😤

 **felix:** so did anything happen?

 **felix:** with hyunnie and minho?

 **channie <3:** not really

 **channie <3:** we just talked

 **channie <3:** about you 👀

 **felix:** wait seriously? 🙈🙈🙈

 **channie <3:** yes

 **felix:** good things i hope?

 **channie <3:** ofc

 **channie <3:** i told them abt that time you peed your pants after watching scary movie 2

 **felix:** i was 8!!!!!!!!!!!

 **channie <3:** im joking 😉

 **channie <3:** how was class today?

 **felix:** boring as fuck

 **felix:** but oh well

 **felix:** at least they didn’t give us more assignments

 **channie <3:** 😣

 **channie <3:** wanna do something today?

 **channie <3:** im free ✌

 **felix:** oh i would love to

 **felix:** but i cant 😥

 **felix:** i’m meeting up with eric today for that project

 **felix:** sorry 😭😭😭

 **channie <3:** nooooooo

 **channie <3:** this is the third time eric and his project steal you from me

 **channie <3:** rude 😔

 **felix:** im sorryyyyy 😭

 **felix:** i’ll call u tonight when i’m home

 **channie <3:** its ok don’t worry

 **channie <3:** good luck!!!

 **felix:** thanks 😪

**_Monday, 17:00_ **

**hyunjin:** hello i’m still processing 😳

 **hyunjin:** you

 **hyunjin:** liked it

 **hyunjin:** and you said i’m really good????

 **hyunjin:** i’m just ???????

 **hyunjin:** thank you so much?

 **hyunjin:** really

 **hyunjin:** it means… a lot

 **hyunjin:** i don’t even know what to say

 **hyunjin:** also yeah i did the choreo for that vid

 **hyunjin:** not bad for a girl with no talent ✌

 **changbin:** oh hello

 **changbin:** i thought i had scared u off

 **changbin:** or maybe u were dead

 **hyunjin:** jdhdghdflg

 **hyunjin:** no i was just. Thinking

 **hyunjin:** hello 🙈

 **changbin:** what were you thinking about?

 **hyunjin:** things. stuff

 **hyunjin:** idk i was overwhelmed sorry

 **changbin:** bc of what i said?

 **hyunjin:** maybe

 **changbin:** wow. My power 😎

 **hyunjin:** shut up sdjfhg

 **changbin:** okay but seriously i meant it

 **changbin:** you’re great

 **hyunjin:** im glad you think so

 **hyunjin:** but idk it was just a short video…

 **changbin:** and?

 **changbin:** it was still really good

 **changbin:** and i’m sure you have even better videos

 **changbin:** longer than 1 minute

 **changbin:** 👀

 **hyunjin:** yeah i do djhfdfkg

 **hyunjin:** i’ll think abt it

 **changbin:** ofc

 **changbin:** don’t worry

 **changbin:** i’ll be here waiting for the bomb to drop on me

 **changbin:** out of nowhere

 **changbin:** like last night

 **hyunjin:** im sorryyyyy 🙈

 **hyunjin:** i was… drunker than i realized

 **hyunjin:** i mean!!

 **hyunjin:** i don’t regret it or anything

 **hyunjin:** im just saying that maybe i got carried away sdfjhkg

 **hyunjin:** but if you liked it then it's okay

 **| _hyunjin:_** _i was… drunker than i realized_

 **changbin:** i mean. I know

 **changbin:** and yeah i really liked it

 **hyunjin:** 😊😊

 **changbin:** can i

 **changbin:** ask you a question

 **hyunjin:** of course

 **changbin:** why aren’t you more confident

 **changbin:** like

 **changbin:** you obviously got the skills

 **changbin:** you have the passion too which is important

 **changbin:** and your face looks like it just came out of an innisfree commercial

 **changbin:** perfect combination to become an idol if you ask me

 **hyunjin:** are u calling me pretty? 😳

 **changbin:** that’s not the point

 **changbin:** i’m just asking… why didn’t you go to those auditions?

 **changbin:** sorry if i’m overstepping you don’t really have to answer

 **changbin:** im just. Curious

 **hyunjin:** no that’s okay

 **hyunjin:** i just

 **hyunjin:** idk

 **hyunjin:** i never felt like i was that good?

 **hyunjin:** but

 **hyunjin:** i actually did go to one

 **changbin:** oh?

 **hyunjin:** yeah just the one

 **hyunjin:** okay so context

 **hyunjin:** last year i told my mom i wanted to try dancing like. For Real

 **hyunjin:** and she tried to convince my dad bc he was already talking abt harvard

 **hyunjin:** they fought for a whole week

 **hyunjin:** ofc my dad said it was a waste of time but in the end he gave in

 **hyunjin:** anyways i started practicing on my own

 **hyunjin:** and then i signed up for a bunch of auditions

 **hyunjin:** i was scared as shit but. i went to the first one

 **hyunjin:** when i got there they led me to a room where everyone else was waiting

 **hyunjin:** it was

 **hyunjin:** fuck you can’t even imagine

 **hyunjin:** everyone was either practicing or staring at you like they wanted to kill u

 **hyunjin:** or both

 **hyunjin:** i was more of the staring type

 **hyunjin:** mostly bc i felt like i would puke if i tried to do anything else

 **hyunjin:** so i was just. sitting and looking at everyone

 **hyunjin:** and they were all so good

 **hyunjin:** i couldn’t stop thinking that i was lacking

 **hyunjin:** like my dance wasn’t as good as theirs and my choreo sucked

 **hyunjin:** and maybe i’m not bad but they were obviously better

 **hyunjin:** and how could i compete with them?

 **hyunjin:** like maybe my dad was right and it was a waste of time

 **hyunjin:** bc i was never going to win

 **hyunjin:** and even if i do pass some stupid audition the rest is even worse

 **hyunjin:** theres still more competition afterwards

 **hyunjin:** so i panicked and i left

 **hyunjin:** i went to a café nearby and stayed there for like 5 hours

 **hyunjin:** it was honestly embarrassing

 **hyunjin:** and i. never went to the rest of the auditions

 **hyunjin:** like i still practiced for a while

 **hyunjin:** but i just couldn’t

 **hyunjin:** and its not like i was that serious abt it so

 **hyunjin:** fuck im sorry i sent you like a hundred texts

 **hyunjin:** i. overshared Again

 **hyunjin:** sorry…

 **changbin:** no its okay

 **changbin:** im the one that asked

 **changbin:** how come you didn’t tell me about any of this

 **changbin:** that night

 **hyunjin:** it’s embarrassing

 **hyunjin:** no one knows

 **hyunjin:** except you now

**changbin:** you could tell your friends too you know

 **changbin:** i think they’d understand

 **changbin:** but thank u for telling me

 **changbin:** i know it’s hard

 **hyunjin:** yeah i don’t know

 **hyunjin:** i feel fucking awful for lying to them

 **hyunjin:** and my mom

 **hyunjin:** i honestly didn’t want to think about it

 **hyunjin:** so i didn’t tell them

 **hyunjin:** thank you for always listening…

 **changbin:** i actually. Kinda get it

 **changbin:** it was similar for me too

 **hyunjin:** mmm?

 **hyunjin:** you mean making music?

 **changbin:** yeah

 **changbin:** i’ve been making music with the boys since i was 16

 **changbin:** but it was. silly at first

 **changbin:** chan was looking for someone to help him with a project for one of his subjects, jisung saw an ad abt it on twitter and he begged for me to go with him

 **changbin:** turns out we were the only ones who actually showed up

 **changbin:** that’s the summary

 **hyunjin:** wait so you’ve been friends with jisung since… highschool??

 **changbin:** since middle school

 **changbin:** he’s always been a pain in my ass 😫

 **hyunjin:** shfkjdshgsg

 **hyunjin:** and chan? he was in college?

 **hyunjin:** that music production degree he mentioned yesterday?

 **changbin:** yeah exactly

 **changbin:** so it was just us helping chan out, writing some lyrics, nothing more

 **changbin:** it was easier than i expected

 **changbin:** and after chan finished his project, we kept doing it

 **changbin:** we met in his basement after classes and on friday nights he tried to teach us about all the programs he used

 **changbin:** i mean we basically learned it all from chan…

 **changbin:** we owe him a lot but don’t tell him that bc he gets super emotional

 **hyunjin:** he sounds so. Kind

 **changbin:** you didn't hear this from me but he's one of the best people i've ever met

 **changbin:** 🤫

 **changbin:** anyways

 **changbin:** it was just us having fun

 **changbin:** but idk it triggered something

 **changbin:** and suddenly all i could i think abt was making music

 **changbin:** i kept coming up with lyrics, writing them all over my notebooks, and melodies i had to record between classes

 **changbin:** as you can guess i liked it A Lot

 **changbin:** but. there was this plan i had with my mom and dad

 **changbin:** that i would go to college and get a law degree

 **hyunjin:** oh wow

 **hyunjin:** i. don't see you as a lawyer

 **changbin:** yeah me neither

 **changbin:** but if you're good you can earn a shitload of money so 😔✊

 **changbin:** we were aiming for a scholarship bc. snu is fucking expensive

 **changbin:** so i couldn’t just let my grades drop

 **changbin:** and on my last year i decided to stop going to chan’s after classes

 **changbin:** there was so much shit to do to prepare for entrance exams i just didn’t have the time

 **changbin:** i managed to get all As btw 🤘

 **changbin:** so you can stop calling me dumb

 **hyunjin:** all As????

 **hyunjin:** seriously? 😳

 **changbin:** yeah 😎✌

 **hyunjin:** okay i’m impressed

 **hyunjin:** then what happened?

 **hyunjin:** bc you’re obviously Not studying to become a lawyer

 **changbin:** well as i said i tried to forget abt music

 **changbin:** but. it didn’t work

 **changbin:** like yes i stopped hanging out with the guys every afternoon bc i had to study

 **changbin:** but i still stayed until 2am making shitty music on my shitty laptop

 **changbin:** idk it just. came natural to me

 **changbin:** and the more i did it the more i liked it

 **changbin:** i realized at some point that i didn’t really want to go to college

 **changbin:** but when i mentioned it to my mom… yeah not pretty

 **changbin:** so i just thought i should suck it up, keep going

 **changbin:** until jisung dropped out of school

 **changbin:** and i thought i would go crazy

 **changbin:** like why couldn’t i do the same?

 **changbin:** tmi but i literally cried that night wishing it was me

 **hyunjin:** fuck 😕

 **changbin:** right

 **changbin:** i still graduated and all that stuff bc there was just months left and i had worked so fucking hard

 **changbin:** but i just. couldn’t go through with it

 **changbin:** like the idea of spending my life doing something i hate while there was this other thing i liked so fucking much?

 **changbin:** yeah no

 **changbin:** i mean i don't hate the idea of being a lawyer but. it’s not like i like it either

 **changbin:** studying law looks fucking boring

 **changbin:** it was just the best option for all of us

 **hyunjin:** yeah…

 **hyunjin:** so? what did u do?

 **changbin:** well i

 **changbin:** prepared a speech

 **changbin:** and told my parents that i would Not be going to college thank u very much

 **hyunjin:** wait just like that???

 **changbin:** i mean no

 **changbin:** i’ll leave out the nasty bits

 **changbin:** there was obviously a fight

 **changbin:** and in the end i told them i would find a job and move out in a month

 **changbin:** i didn’t want to be a burden for them

 **changbin:** but they didn’t actually believe i would do it

 **changbin:** like they just thought i was rebelling or something

 **hyunjin:** you moved out?

 **hyunjin:** that sounds

 **hyunjin:** fucking hard

 **changbin:** yeah well

 **changbin:** jisung’s mom let me crash with them until i found a job

 **hyunjin:** i thought he lived alone

 **changbin:** he lives alone now bc his parents moved to malaysia last year

 **changbin:** but he’s still living in their old house

 **changbin:** he rents their spare bedroom when he needs some extra money

 **changbin:** his parents don’t know that though so 🤫

 **hyunjin:** oh god hasjhsdg

 **hyunjin:** jisung feels… chaotic

 **changbin:** that’s the best word to describe him

 **hyunjin:** but

 **hyunjin:** do u still talk with your parents?

 **changbin:** yeah of course

 **changbin:** i mean it was bad at first

 **changbin:** like my mom still tried to convince me to come back and go to college

 **changbin:** but i guess it got better over time

 **changbin:** they saw i was serious abt making music

 **changbin:** and things are… nice now

 **changbin:** my dad listens to my songs its so embarrassing

 **changbin:** my mom packs me tons of food whenever she can

 **hyunjin:** wow

 **| _changbin:_** _like my mom still tried to convince me to go back and go to college_

 **hyunjin:** did you ever consider it?

 **hyunjin:** going back home?

 **changbin:** not really

 **changbin:** i know my mom would’ve liked that

 **changbin:** even if i didn’t go to college she didn’t like the idea of me being on my own

 **changbin:** but idk

 **changbin:** i wanted to demonstrate i could do it

 **changbin:** so going back home felt like giving up

 **changbin:** and anyways now i like living alone

 **changbin:** no one to nag at me for not doing the dishes ✌

 **hyunjin:** dsfjksdjg yeah

 **hyunjin:** well i had. no idea abt any of this

 **hyunjin:** obviously

 **changbin:** and you thought you were the one oversharing

 **changbin:** you unlocked my tragic backstory

 **changbin:** don’t you think it’d be great if they made it into a movie

 **changbin:** when i’m famous and all

 **hyunjin:** dksjfdkg shut up u dumbass

 **changbin:** i’m not dumb i told u 😤

 **hyunjin:** yeah

 **hyunjin:** you really aren’t

 **hyunjin:** im sorry

 **changbin:** its okay i forgive u

 **hyunjin:** no i mean

 **hyunjin:** im sorry abt that night

 **hyunjin:** and my parents

 **hyunjin:** i actually… did take u home just to spite them

 **hyunjin:** unconsciously

 **hyunjin:** i mean i didn’t just ask u to leave with me bcs of that

 **hyunjin:** i really… wanted to go home with u

 **hyunjin:** but. there was no need for us to go to my house

 **hyunjin:** idk i get why you regretted it

 **hyunjin:** and that other night… me crying abt everything

 **hyunjin:** im sorry too

 **hyunjin:** im a crybaby

 **changbin:** hey no

 **changbin:** its okay

 **changbin:** i know i was harsh with u that night

 **changbin:** when u told me about everything

 **changbin:** but i cant help being petty sometimes

 **changbin:** plus i was already kind of pissed at u and i was drunk

 **changbin:** i did get it tho

 **changbin:** i get what it’s like

 **changbin:** so i wasn’t really mad at u

 **changbin:** im sorry

 **hyunjin:** no stop

 **hyunjin:** im the one that fucked up in the first place

 **hyunjin:** im the one that’s sorry

 **changbin:** okay but im sorry too 😤

 **hyunjin:** i said it first 😤😤

 **changbin:** fine 🙄

 **changbin:** i don’t regret it tho

 **hyunjin:** don’t regret what?

 **changbin:** that first night

 **changbin:** only the morning after

 **hyunjin:** oh

 **hyunjin:** me neither

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sooooo that was a lot
> 
> i just wanna say. i'm excited for next chapter
> 
> comments (whatever you want to talk about) are always welcome!
> 
> [twt](https://twitter.com/noirxses)


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> > “This is actually a really dumb plan”, Hyunjin said after a minute of silence. “But let me have a couple more drinks and I’m in”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it took longer this week has been hell :(
> 
> plus i was really excited abt everything happening on this chapter and it was kinda hard to actually write it but!! here it is!! finally!! it actually has one of my favorite scenes so far <3
> 
> also this is extremely unbetaed like every other chapter but this one specially, forgive my typos please
> 
> and enjoy!

**_(A week later)_ **

****

**_Friday, 15:00_ **

**minho is catboy**

**cutie lix:** guys we’re freeeeeeeee

 **seungminnie:** worst experience of my fucking life

 **seungminnie:** im not doing any more stupid assignments for a month

 **jeonginnie:** i hope so bc you’re not taking any more pictures of me 🔪

 **hyunjin:** 🎉🥳🎉🥳🎉🥳

 **cutie lix:** innie you looked great!!

 **cutie lix:** so pretty ✨✨✨

 **jeonginnie:** that’s cause i was born pretty

 **jeonginnie:** but thanks lix 🤗

 **hyunjin:** 🙄🙄

 **seungminnie:** okay but yours was really good too **@cutie lix**

 **seungminnie:** and you looked hot in eric’s film 😳

 **cutie lix:** nooooo 🙈🙈

 **hyunjin:** 👀

 **hyunjin:** we’ll talk about that later but

 **hyunjin:** are we still on for the party tomorrow then?

 **minho:** i already invited everyone you can’t say no

 **jeonginnie:** what do you mean everyone

 **minho:** i mean everyone

 **jeonginnie:** im scared

 **minho:** you should be 😼

 **cutie lix:** okay my backyard isn’t that big but

 **cutie lix:** yes we’re still on for the partyyyy 🎉

 **hyunjin:** great!!!!

 **hyunjin:** pool parties in the middle of september. love it

 **minho:** it’s still hot shut up and don’t ruin it

 **hyunjin:** im joking im really exciteddddd

 **seungminnie:** i invited some people from class too

 **seungminnie:** hope that’s okay

 **minho:** great

 **minho:** the more the merrier 😼

 **cutie lix:** that’s great minnie!

 **cutie lix:** you’ll come to my house tomorrow morning right?

 **hyunjin:** yesss

 **seungminnie:** ofc

 **seungminnie:** none of you actually know how to plan for a party

 **minho:** exclude me from that group i throw the best parties

 **seungminnie:** 😶

 **cutie lix:** 11am and we can have lunch together 💖

**_Friday, 17:00_ **

****

**hyunjin:** are you coming to felix’s party tomorrow?

 **changbin:** of course!

 **changbin:** chan told us about it the other day

 **hyunjin:** yay 🥳

 **hyunjin:** i can’t wait it’s been too long since i got wasted

 **changbin:** it’s been like a week

 **hyunjin:** exactly

 **changbin:** okay can’t judge

 **changbin:** i’m dying for a night out too

 **changbin:** not sure about the pool thing tho…

 **changbin:** that could turn out really badly

 **hyunjin:** you don’t have to actually get in you know

 **hyunjin:** it will be fun!!!!

 **changbin:** idk we’ll see

 **changbin:** jisung’s really excited to see u again

 **changbin:** i think he likes u

 **hyunjin:** oh jsdfhdjkgh

 **hyunjin:** he’s not my type sorry 😔

 **changbin:** trust me

 **changbin:** i know

 **hyunjin:** 😳

 **changbin:** gotta go break’s over!

 **hyunjin:** okay bye 😳

* * *

“Looks great”, Minho said with a satisfied nod, hands on his hips.

The five of them were standing on Felix’s backyard after finishing the decorations for the party, admiring their hard ( _hard)_ work, which had consisted on Seungmin and Minho making a few phone calls for both the food and the alcohol while Hyunjin, Felix and Jeongin sat on the sofa playing Uno.

Frankly, there wasn’t even decorations needed to be done in the first place. Felix’s mom was very particular about how she wanted their house to look, and it showed in every room and space, where every detail had been thought of and each item meticulously chosen. Their backyard was no different.

There was a tiny porch just outside the crystal door that separated it from the living room, a big dinner table on one side. Hyunjin remembered how much they liked spending their time at Felix’s when they were little, his house being the biggest of them all, and how they loved eating at that table. They didn’t care if it was cold, or raining, or too hot to actually be outside, because they felt like they were adults when they were sitting there. Each one of them had their assigned seat, and they fought every time Jeongin asked to sit next to Minho instead, because the oldest would always give him extra food. At some point they had become actual adults and stopped begging to sit at that table, but Hyunjin knew they would always reminisce about all the memories they had there fondly.

A couple of large sofas were placed on the other side of the porch, white velvet fabric they had stained too many times. As for the rest of the backyard, artificial grass covered it, hedges surrounding the open space and artificial lights hanging from them like they would from a Christmas tree. There were also a few lanterns strategically placed that would come in handy by nightfall.

In the middle of it was a fancy white tent, open on the sides, low tables and vintage armchairs under it, all of it standing on dark wooden floor. The infamous pool was at the end, rectangular shaped, neon purple light bulbs on its walls they have decided to turn on although they looked awfully tacky.

The only thing they had actually added were a few tables to each side of the tent, filled with all sorts of food and drinks, plus huge speakers plugged into Felix’s laptop where Jeongin had created his “Super Party Mix 2020”.

Just as Minho had stated, it looked great. But when he said he had invited everyone, he meant it quite literally.

Almost every person Hyunjin knew was now in Felix’s backyard getting wasted, and the place that had seemed like something out of a home décor magazine was now a mess. There were bottles and glasses on the floor, the tables were sticky, food and plates were lying around everywhere. No one had dared touch the pool, but Hyunjin figured it wouldn’t take long.

If it was his house, maybe he would’ve paid attention to broken vases and wine-stained couches. Any other night and he would’ve cared, at least a little. But he couldn’t even try, not when Changbin had been by his side for the past hour, throwing stupid jokes around and making him feel like a teenager in front of his crush.

Hyunjin didn’t quite know when he had started feeling like this. He only knew that for the last week he had been giddy with excitement each time he received a new text from Changbin, and more than once he had caught himself imagining them _together_. It was extremely silly of him, and sometimes he hated himself for even thinking about it, but sometimes he didn’t really care, because he only cared about how happy he made him feel. He found himself wanting to know every little thing about Changbin, every new story and fact he could gather.

There was a big red cross on actually admitting he _liked_ Changbin, though. That would complicate his life, his plans, and he felt like there was no point in it. So he hadn’t said it out loud, hadn’t talked about it, not even with Seungmin. That wasn’t going to stop him from enjoying the attention and fun of the game.

They were sitting on the fancy armchairs, Changbin on one side of Hyunjin and Jeongin on the other, Chan, Jisung and Minho sitting in front of them. Felix and Seungmin were nowhere to be found, too busy greeting their classmates since it turned out that _a lot_ of them had actually come.

“I’m telling you, I know both of them, and it’s definitely Chan”, Jisung said, clear frustration on his voice.

At one point their conversation had led them to discuss who would win in a fight between Changbin and Chan. Minho had been the first one to affirm it would be Chan, though when they asked him his reasons he just shrugged and said “Because I like him better”. Jeongin had stated that he would not be commenting, while Hyunjin and Jisung were now engaged on a one on one verbal discussion, each of them trying to prove they were right. The two people being discussed were just watching the whole thing, amused gazes moving from Hyunjin to Jisung with each new declaration.

“Okay, but have you seen Changbin’s arms? He can literally destroy you with a look”, Hyunjin responded, dismissing Changbin’s loud laugh with a swat of his hand.

“Pfft, he’s overrated. Like, fine, his arms are big, but the rest of it? Not worth it. Chan on the other hand…”, Jisung wiggled his eyebrows, smiling significantly.

“What do you mean not worth it, you dick?”, Changbin threw a crumpled napkin at him that the other boy avoided perfectly.

“Don’t hate me for telling the truth. Chan’s got abs, and you… well, you don’t”, Jisung said simply.

“And what does that have to do with anything? It’s about physical strength, not greatest body”, Hyunjin intervened again.

“Exactly, thank you”, Changbin said, glad that he had someone backing him up. “Plus, I've won every time we arm-wrestled”.

“That was literally once”, Jisung scoffed.

“Okay, so let’s do it again”, Changbin leaned forwards, cracking his knuckles before resting his left elbow on the table. “C’mon, Chan”.

But Chan had been quiet for a while, his gaze lost somewhere behind them. They watched him take a sip of his drink, oblivious to what was happening until Minho nudged him a few times.

“Something wrong?”, Jisung asked him.

“What? No. Yeah, nothing”, Chan shook his head a few times, faking a tight smile before pointing to where he had been looking. “That’s Eric, right?”, he asked.

Five heads turned at the exact same time. Near the pool, Felix was standing, a boy in front of him. They had their hands lifted between them, touching, almost as if they were comparing hand sizes. Felix’s looked tiny even from a distance.

Hyunjin was the first one to break the silence. “Yeah, I think I’ve seen him on Felix’s stories. They’ve been doing some project together, right?”

“Yeah, that’s him. Felix introduced me earlier, he’s really nice. Seungmin told me he has a crush on Felix”, Jeongin said, giggling like he was sharing some kind of secret with them. The youngest didn’t notice Hyunjin’s death-threatening stare, or he didn’t care.

Honestly, it wasn’t that hard to notice. Eric had been following Felix around since he had arrived, and Hyunjin recalled perfectly how he was the one that had asked for Felix’s number on the first day of class. They never asked Felix about it, so he wasn’t sure if his friend liked him back, but they seemed to be very comfortable around each other.

Chan must’ve figured it out too. He just hummed, nodded, and got up. His cup got emptied in a second. “Well, I’m going for another drink. Anyone want anything?”

“I’ll go with you!”, Jeongin hauled himself up to follow Chan. Maybe he did notice Hyunjin’s stare, or maybe he had already taken a liking to his new eldest. Hyunjin had seen them sharing smiles and looks between them a couple of times now.

There was a minute of silence, the four remaining boys watching their friends walk towards the alcohol area.

“So”, Changbin said.

“So?”, Hyunjin asked.

“So why the fuck did you think inviting that guy was a good idea?”, Jisung demanded to know.

“It wasn’t my idea!”, Hyunjin exclaimed. “I think Seungmin invited some people from their class and… yeah”.

“Well, if they actually hook up and Chan sees them…”, Changbin said.

“Yeah, not pretty”, Jisung added.

“I don’t see what’s the problem here”, Minho finally spoke. “Chan and Felix have known each other for like a hundred years now, but Chan hasn’t made a move yet? He’s obviously not interested, or straight, or just plain dumb. Felix needs to forget about him”, he finished, slumping his body against his seat’s backrest.

“He’s not just plain dumb, he’s the dumbest bitch I’ve ever met”, Jisung stated.

“He is”, Changbin agreed. “But he obviously feels something for Felix too, and I don’t know how he’s gonna react if he sees them… you know, kissing or whatever”.

“It’s fucking obvious Felix likes Chan too, so maybe he should’ve done something sooner”, Minho said.

“I mean, he wrote him a love song”, Hyunjin said. “He hasn’t told him, but how do you tell your _friend_ you made a song about him? It’s too cringy”

“He wrote him a what?”, for once, Minho seemed surprised.

“I wasn’t supposed to say anything”, Hyunjin looked at Changbin, grimacing, but the boy just smiled as in saying it was okay. “But, yeah, apparently he did. He called him his soulmate or something. Ew”.

“Okay, then he’s indeed the dumbest bitch ever”, Minho said. “But, you know, maybe if he sees them together, he’ll realize he has to do _something_?”

“You don’t know him. He’s just going to get more drunk and sulk in a corner”, Changbin shook his head. “He doesn’t really talk about feelings and stuff, you know”.

“Well, it doesn’t look like he’s sulking”, Hyunjin added, pointing in Chan’s direction. The eldest was now doing tequila shots with the youngest, and maybe Hyunjin should’ve worried for Jeongin’s safety, but at least they seemed to be having fun.

“He’s getting drunk. The sulking phase comes after”, Changbin explained. “We’ve seen him before, we know. Right, Jisung?”

Jisung had his gaze fixed on Chan, but his expression was pensive, his eyes squinted like he was thinking really hard. “Actually…”, he started, and then he directed his gaze at Minho.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”, Minho asked, a smile creeping on his lips.

Hyunjin knew that smile. It was similar to the one he wore when he forced them to get wasted, but just a tiny bit _worse_. He always thought that smile was reserved for them, but apparently he was comfortable enough around Jisung to share it with him too.

“Truth or dare? Spin the bottle?”, Minho said, though he was still only looking at Jisung.

“Spin the bottle sounds funnier, actually”, Jisung replied.

“Fine, then spin the bottle it is”, Minho stated.

Changbin and Hyunjin shared a look of confusion.

“What the fuck are you talking about?”, Changbin asked.

“We’re gonna spice things up”, Minho finally directed his gaze at them, still sporting that awful smile. “And we’re gonna make sure Felix and Eric kiss. In front of Chan”.

“What? How’s that going to help?”, Changbin said, an incredulous look on his face that mirrored Hyunjin’s.

“Look, Chan needs his moment of realization. You know, the one where you look straight into the camera while the narrator voice says ‘ _Oh’_. And then you Realize”, Jisung explained, lots of hands gestures and idiotic expressions. “You know what I’m talking about, right?”, he looked at Hyunjin.

“I… think so, yeah. But, check this. Wouldn’t it be better if we made Chan and Felix kiss instead?”, Hyunjin said.

“That’s not dramatic enough”, Jisung pointed out like it was obvious.

“Okay and how are you sure your stupid idea’s going to work? What if we only make everything worse?”, Hyunjin replied.

“That’s a risk we have to take”, Jisung said, as if they were about to embark on a life or death mission.

“Uh, we don’t”, Changbin cut him off. “Plus, how are we gonna get them to kiss playing spin the bottle? Last time I checked it was a random game”.

“Oh, I have my ways, don’t worry about that”, Minho winked at him.

“This is actually a really dumb plan”, Hyunjin said after a minute of silence. “But let me have a couple more drinks and I’m in”.

* * *

Two hours and three drinks later, they were sitting on the ground, making a circle. A lot more people than Hyunjin expected had joined them, some familiar faces, some he didn’t know at all.

He could see Seungmin to his right, sitting next to Jeongin, his head resting on the youngest’s shoulder and his fingers pinching the other’s cheeks constantly. It wasn’t a scene that didn’t happen every day, but usually Jeongin would be complaining and threatening Seungmin with his fist by now. Hyunjin figured they were pretty drunk, or else Jeongin wouldn’t be smiling that much.

Felix, the social butterfly that he was, was sitting next to some girls Hyunjin didn’t know, giggling and yelling with them from time to time. He looked happy, and Hyunjin felt bad for a second. They should’ve just told him that Chan _liked_ him and let him decide what the hell he wanted to do with that information, he thought. That’s what Seungmin would’ve suggested, if not to stay out of their business entirely, but it was too late now. Their dumb plan was in motion.

“Rules are simple: I spin the bottle, the people it points to have to kiss. If one person doesn’t want to, then we’ll choose a dare for them to do instead”, Minho explained. He was sitting on the center of the circle, hands on the bottle. “Got it?”

Everyone yelled at once, Hyunjin himself included, though his attention had turned to something else entirely.

Changbin was sitting in front of him, on the other side of the circle, next to Jisung and Chan. The black-haired boy had removed his leather jacket in favor of Jisung wearing it over his shoulders instead, which was a pity, because it looked insanely good on him. He wasn’t going to complain about it, though. Changbin was left with a black tank top, some punk design printed on it, his arms fully exposed and Hyunjin fully enthralled with the pretty drawings drawn onto his skin.

Every single time he saw those tattoos, the memories came back, the ones Hyunjin tried to forget and at the same time didn’t want to ever forget. The ones in which Changbin was lifting him up so effortlessly, Hyunjin wrapping his legs around the other’s waist getting lost in a kiss that was so messy yet so good. Staring at him now, he wondered what it would be like to kiss him again; if Changbin would even let him, if he would awkwardly reject him or if he would go back to hating him.

“Ready?”, Minho’s loud voice broke his train of thought. “Go!”.

The first lucky couple was Ryujin and Chaeyoung. Hyunjin only knew Ryujin as a friend of his cousin, Yeji, but Chaeyoung had been friends with them since they were young. Everyone cheered when their kiss got a bit too intense.

Next up was Mark and Yerim, though theirs was a chaste kiss on Yerim’s cheek, the blonde girl complaining that she was not about to kiss some boy in front of her girlfriend. Yerim was the kind of person everyone knew and liked, Hyunjin included, same as everyone knew she had been dating Sooyoung for almost four years now. It was funny to see how flustered Mark was afterwards, while Yerim went back to link arms with Sooyoung.

The game continued smoothly, random pairings of people coming up every time. Chan kissed Jungeun, Jisoo kissed Hyejoo, Chanhee kissed Changmin. Even Minho kissed someone, though he was the one spinning the bottle. His partner was Donghyuck, and Hyunjin _knew_ it wasn’t a coincidence. He had heard his friend calling the other boy cute and pretty numerous times before, and they both seemed to enjoy their kiss almost too much.

At one point he had to kiss some boy from Felix’s class named Jaemin, and then Doyeon, a girl so pretty his hands sweated a little. Each time he broke apart, he gazed at Changbin, mindful of his reaction, though the boy only flashed him a smile.

Changbin’s first partner was Yeji, which Hyunjin found extremely gross and wrong, then Jisung. As he watched them kiss, he couldn’t help feeling a pang of jealousy. He knew there was nothing serious between them, had asked Felix about it a hundred times now, but still. Changbin’s hands grabbed at Jisung’s waist, Jisung’s at Changbin’s neck and nape. Their kiss was deliberately long, slow but insistent, and it looked awfully natural. They only stopped when Chan threw his shoe at them, Minho yelling something about breaking the rules because you apparently couldn’t kiss longer than five seconds. Hyunjin thought he saw Changbin eyeing him for the shortest moment, but maybe it was just him projecting.

People started losing interest after a while. Some of them plainly got up and left, while others kept busy talking amongst themselves. Hyunjin had been listening to Daehwi’s love life for some time now, not even paying attention to the game anymore, when he was forced to lift his gaze. Minho was insistently staring at him, trying to grab his attention.

The bottle had landed on Eric, and Minho was about to spin it again.

When he did, Felix’s expression turned to shock. His eyes searched for Chan’s for a second, though they soon returned to the bottle, and then to Eric, who had an almost too obvious smile on his lips.

This seriously was their worst plan ever, Hyunjin thought as he saw Felix getting up.

* * *

**_Sunday, 00:30_ **

**jisung:** what the fuck was tht bout???

 **dumbass (changbin):** what d o u mean??

 **jisung:** the kiss

 **dumbass (changbin):** it was just. A KIss

 **jisung:** i almost choked on your tongue

 **jisung:** ew

 **jisung:** dont do that

 **dumbass (changbin):** you liked ittttt

 **dumbass (changbin):** i know 😎

 **jisung:** no

 **jisung:** stop trying to make pretty boy jealousss

 **jisung:** and kiss him

 **jisung:** already

 **dumbass (changbin):** dnt know what u talking about srry

**_Sunday, 1:00_ **

****

**catboy:** stop avoiding me

 **catboy:** where are u

 **jisung:** am not avoiding u

 **jisung:** im just making frends

 **catboy:** han jisung

 **jisung:** what

 **catboy:** cme here

 **jisung:** but

 **jisung:** are u

 **jisung:** mad

 **catboy:** no

 **jisung:** dont know dont trust u

 **jisung:** were not together u know

 **jisung:** i can kiss

 **jisung:** u kissed that boy

 **catboy:** im not mad

 **catboy:** but we need to talk

 **catboy:** i

 **catboy:** dont think we should b doing this

 **catboy:** anymore

 **jisung:** what

 **jisung:** where are u

* * *

“Hey, you”, he heard the familiar voice behind him, and he hesitated before turning around to greet Changbin.

Hyunjin had left the game shortly after Felix’s kiss with Eric, and he’d been avoiding Changbin ever since. He thought he’d been smooth about it, trying not to join any group the other boy could potentially approach, keeping himself always on the opposite side of where he was. His focus had been not talking to him directly, but he hadn’t considered it happening the other way around.

It’s not that he actually didn’t want to talk to him, though. It’s just that there were too many thoughts in his head, and he was a mess of emotions he didn’t know how to handle.

There was a part of him that felt miserable, while another one felt strangely relieved. Sad, because he couldn’t stop thinking about Changbin’s kiss with Jisung; it was a kiss he had seen before, but one he wished had been shared with him instead this time. Glad, because maybe it was better off this way. Maybe, he thought, he shouldn’t want to mess up his life even more. He shouldn’t be disappointed because he expected something more, that was on him. He shouldn’t even think be thinking that much about the boy, because Changbin was offering him nothing more but a nice friendship.

Yet as much as he tried to forget about it, tell himself it was just a silly crush, his whole body ached having to distance himself from Changbin. He had seen him from time to time walking around; with Jisung, with Ryujin and Yeji, with Seungmin and Jeongin too. And each time he had wanted so bad to go to him, enjoy his company, share stories and laugh with him. He didn’t, though.

Instead, he had joined Daehwi and the rest of his friends, standing by the pool and gossiping about people Hyunjin had no idea about. They were drinking at a pace that was way to fast for him, though he did his best to follow.

When Changbin appeared, he knew he was too drunk. The level of intoxication where you can’t really process what’s happening, but everything seems great although deep down you know you’re on the verge of passing out.

“Hey”, Hyunjin greeted back. He couldn’t help the way his stomach turned when he looked at him. “How’s Chan holding up after that kiss?”.

“I don’t know, actually”, Changbin shrugged. “I haven’t seen him, but I bet he’s probably crying in the bathroom. What about Felix?”.

“Haven’t seen him either”, Hyunjin said simply before he sipped his drink, looking for a distraction from Changbin’s eyes.

“Are you okay?”, the boy asked next.

“Yeah, I’m great!”, Hyunjin tipped his glass against Changbin’s, smiling widely and then sipping again. “I think I’m a little drunk though”, he giggled afterwards.

“Just a little?”, Changbin scoffed. “You look like you can’t even stand straight”.

“I can stand perfectly, thank you very much”, he put his feet together, doing a little jump before almost tripping on himself. “I swear I can”.

Changbin chuckled, and Hyunjin felt disgustingly proud to make him laugh. “Be careful, though. Don’t wanna end up having me take you home again, do you?”

Hyunjin thought about his answer for a second. Hyunjin detested the way he was so damn _easy_ before he spoke again.

“And why wouldn’t I want that?”, he hated the words, hated his lack of dignity and shame. Flirting with Changbin was really _not_ what he was supposed to do. But he loved seeing Changbin get flustered, for once.

Even if he looked taken aback for a moment, he continued smoothly, “Oh, so you’re saying you want to sleep in my bed again? Noted”.

Oh God, Hyunjin thought. He was following along.

“Maybe. You’d have to sleep in the couch again, though”, he said, a cocky smile on his lips he hadn’t actually pretended to show.

“Why? I’ve already seen you drooling in your sleep, remember?”, Changbin replied. His face looked serious, but there was the hint of a playful smile on his mouth, and Hyunjin wanted to hit him.

“Shut up, I do not drool”, he retorted.

“Oh, yes, you do”, Changbin said, smile wider now as he finished his beer. “It’s okay, I won’t tell anyone”.

“Well, you snore, so”, Hyunjin snapped back. He copied him, emptying his glass and leaving it on the table next to them.

He couldn’t quite believe they were being like _this_. Talking about their night together like it was a joke. It’s not like it was the first time it happened, but it was the first time he was teasing Changbin too, for a reason unbeknown to him. He really hated drunk Hyunjin.

“Well, you just made that up, because no one’s ever told me I snore”, Changbin’s response.

“Then I’ll be the first one to tell you. You snore”, he repeated. He turned to his friends behind him, who had been paying them absolutely no attention, and said it again. “Guys, you know what? Changbin snores”.

“And he fucking drools like a baby!”, Changbin intervened immediately. “You heard that? Hyunjin drools!”, he screamed loudly this time, like he wanted everyone to know. He was so stupidly dumb, and it was hard for Hyunjin to pretend he didn’t love it.

An elbow to Changbin’s side, Hyunjin hissed, “Oh my god, shut up”, to which Changbin just chuckled. “I swear I’ll throw you into the pool”.

“Yeah, I’d like to see you try”, Changbin still smiled, arms crossed.

“I could do it”.

“Sure, big boy”.

“I swear I’ll try”.

“Go ahead, then”.

Hyunjin yelled before attacking Changbin’s side. The other boy squirmed around, trying to get away from him, but he managed to catch him before he could slip away. They wrestled, and soon he had him encaged between his arms, trying to find his weak, tickly spots. Seeing how Hyunjin's arms had little to no strength for keeping the boy steady, it didn’t really last long. Hyunjin was spun around like a doll, ending in Changbin's hold instead, abused by hands pinching his stomach. He was the one wriggling now, begging for mercy as he laughed maniacally.

“What were you saying about someone going into the pool?”, Changbin said.

“No, Changbin, please, stop”, Hyunjin kept repeating as he kicked around.

It was to no use, the boy already dragging him to the pool. He saw them getting closer and closer, and he screamed even louder for him to stop. His voice was drowned by the sound of his own chuckles. Right at the edge, Changbin did stop.

“Let’s make a deal”, Changbin said. “I’ll spare your life, if you take back what you said”.

“I take it back”, Hyunjin said immediately, high pitched voice.

“That’s a good boy”, Changbin said as he let him go.

Hyunjin turned around and grabbed him again, “Joking. You do snore”, he added with a diabolic smile before pulling Changbin into the pool.

He really miscalculated Changbin’s strength, though.

A hand clutched at his wrist last second. There was a scream, a splash, and then he fell. He forgot to close his eyes.

When he came back up for air, he started spitting everywhere, rubbing at his aching eyes. Water had come up his nose and he _hated_ that awful sensation. He scrubbed his whole face clean, slicked his long hair back before opening his eyes.

“You dick!”, Hyunjin yelled as soon as he saw Changbin in front of him.

The other boy was still blinking awkwardly, trying to get used to the sting. When he finally focused on Hyunjin, he swatted his hands to splash water on him again, “You are the dick!”

“Stop it!”, Hyunjin said, hands in front of him as he turned his head around. But Changbin was coming at him now, spraying even more water around that he tried to avoid unsuccessfully.

Both boys started laughing as they flapped their arms around, trying to make the other back up, throwing insults and pleads of mercy at the same time. Changbin walked forwards, Hyunjin walked backwards. His cries for help increased their volume when Changbin tried to get his head underwater, and when he tried to do the same to him, he almost drowned himself.

They tossed and turned and grabbed at each other, giggling like crazy, until Hyunjin ended up with his back against the pool’s wall, arms pinned above him by Changbin’s hands on his wrists. They were breathless, their chests rising and falling rhythmically, smiles in both their faces as they looked into each other’s eyes. Hyunjin hadn’t had that much fun in a while.

“You were right”, he said. “I actually made the whole thing up. You don’t snore”.

Changbin scoffed, though his eyes were kind, “I know. But I wasn’t lying about you drooling”.

“I know”, Hyunjin chuckled. “Now can you please let me free? My arms are starting to hurt”.

“Oh, fuck, sorry”, Changbin dropped his arms with an apologetic smile, and Hyunjin’s fell naturally on his shoulders.

They went quiet as their breathing calmed down. Hyunjin tried really hard not to look down, to Changbin’s wet shirt clinging to his skin, tracing every muscle line on his chest. He tried to say something witty, maybe even move, but he was at a loss for words, and his body didn’t listen to his brain. He could only think about how close they were. Too close.

Changbin’s gaze dropped to Hyunjin’s lips, and then the whole mood changed. It felt electric, intoxicating, suffocating, suddenly. There was a pull on his stomach, and a million thoughts running through his mind.

This was wrong, this was going to fuck him up. He’d been avoiding Changbin precisely in case this happened, because he knew himself, and he knew what he wanted most deep down. Hyunjin had known he could get it if he tried, and now he hated himself for fucking trying. Now, he was met with the consequences, staring right at him. And the consequences looked too good for him to say no.

He felt the anticipation building, a shiver running down his spine, his body buzzing all over. Although he was drunk, he knew he didn’t imagine Changbin getting closer. No. He could feel his breath on his mouth, legs touching legs underwater, delicate fingers brushing Hyunjin’s hair back. His own hands found Changbin’s nape, tangling in soft locks, cradling his head as he approached.

There was some pop song playing in the background, telling them about favorite mistakes and secret affairs. Wetting his lips, Hyunjin closed his eyes and he braced himself for impact.

But then the music stopped.

And another voice was heard instead.

“Is this thing on?”, it was a man. He knew that voice, right?

“Yeah, I think it’s on”, the voice continued talking to himself. “Okay, I have an announcement to make, just so everyone here knows. You know Han Jisung over there, right?”, a pause, some affirmative answers. “Well, he has a boyfriend now, so all of you bitches can stop ogling at him. And… yeah, I think that’s it. Oh wait, sorry. I’m the boyfriend, obviously. Yeah, thank you or whatever”.

Hyunjin snapped his eyes open, turning his head around so fast he almost got dizzy, just in time to see Minho getting off one of the tables near the speakers. The boy was smiling as he walked towards Jisung, who was hiding his face behind his hands. They hugged. They _kissed_.

“What the fuck?”, Changbin and Hyunjin said at the same time.

* * *

**_Sunday, 04:30_ **

**minho is catboy**

**cutie lix:** guys

 **cutie lix:** can you please come to my room?

 **cutie lix:** something happened

 **seungminnie:** are you okay?????????

 **jeonginnie:** on my way lix!!!!!!!!!

 **cutie lix:** yeah im okay

 **cutie lix:** its just that

 **cutie lix:** well

 **cutie lix:** chan kissed me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lots of things happening, feel free to scream at me
> 
> hope you liked it~
> 
> [twt](https://twitter.com/noirxses)


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> > **changbin:** well it’s about hyunjin
>> 
>> **ugly (jisung):** pretty boy?
>> 
>> **ugly (jisung):** are you going to tell me you like him
>> 
>> **ugly (jisung):** bc if so then i called it i knew it and you owe me 10.000₩

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> discussion of feelings
> 
> enjoy <3

**_Monday, 14:00_ **

**minho is catboy**

**seungminnie:** are you guys still sleeping?

**jeonginnie:** nope im making breakfast

**hyunjin:** its 2pm

**jeonginnie:** ok then im making lunch

**seungminnie:** you don’t know how to cook jeongin

**jeonginnie:** im trying 😤

**jeonginnie:** you guys don’t know how to appreciate anything

**seungminnie:** is felix awake?

**hyunjin:** he’s still cuddling me

**hyunjin:** but he groaned like 10 minutes ago

**hyunjin:** so yeah think he’s awake

**seungminnie:** how is he?

**hyunjin:** i dont know

**hyunjin:** i asked him if he’s okay but he only hummed a lil

**hyunjin:** but me

**hyunjin:** i feel fucking awful

**seungminnie:** you drank 80% of the alcohol we bought yesterday so

**seungminnie:** yeah no shit

**hyunjin:** why did you let me do that

**hyunjin:** i can’t even blink without my head feeling like it’s about to explode

**hyunjin:** why do we drink

**hyunjin:** why do we do this shit to ourselves

**hyunjin:** 😭😭😭

**hyunjin:** im not touching a drop of alcohol ever again

**hyunjin:** in my life

**seungminnie:** you’re the only person i know that’s said that sentence so many fucking times

**seungminnie:** and still keeps drinking

**seungminnie:** make it make sense

**hyunjin:** well I Try

**hyunjin:** but it’s not my fault that we, as a society

**hyunjin:** decided to make drinking youth’s favorite hobby

**hyunjin:** i can’t just go out and not drink if everyone’s doing it

**seungminnie:** then learn how to drink

**seungminnie:** and stop whining

**hyunjin:** i don’t like u in the mornings

**jeonginnie:** stop fighting 🔪

**jeonginnie:** and i for one feel great!!!

**jeonginnie:** i had a lot of fun yesterday!!!!!!!!

**jeonginnie:** can’t wait to throw a party again hehe

**hyunjin:** please shut up

**jeonginnie:** dont be petty

**jeonginnie:** or there’s no breakfast for u

**hyunjin:** as if i could even eat something rn without vomiting 😭

**minho:** good morning bitches

**minho:** how are yall feeling

**hyunjin:** oh

**hyunjin:** look who’s here

**hyunjin:** THE TRAITOR

**jeonginnie:** minho!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**jeonginnie:** we thought you were dead

**minho:** why

**seungminnie:** bc you disappeared

**seungminnie:** after your speech

**seungminnie:** you know the one about your secret boyfriend

**hyunjin:** what the fuck seriously WHAT THE FUCK

**hyunjin:** HAN JISUNG???

**hyunjin:** your boyfriend????

**jeonginnie:** yeah that was kind of a shock

**seungminnie:** explain

**minho:** are u guys jealous? 😔

**minho:** please don’t be

**minho:** you couldn’t have this ass even if u tried

**minho:** well maybe hyunjin could

**minho:** but it’s too late now

**hyunjin:** you fucking Bitch

**hyunjin:** explain yourself 😭

**seungminnie:** is he seriously your boyfriend?

**minho:** i guess

**minho:** he is

**minho:** my bf 😳

**hyunjin:** your best friend

**minho:** no you dumbass

**minho:** my boyfriend

**hyunjin:** im sorry im just jgkfg

**hyunjin:** HOW DID THIS FUCKING HAPPEN

**hyunjin:** like??? were you even friends before???

**hyunjin:** did u just hook up yesterday and decided to date???

**hyunjin:** i don’t get it 😭

**seungminnie:** i mean i noticed the stares yesterday…

**seungminnie:** minho looked like he wanted to jump him almost all the time 💀

**minho:** i did not look like that

**minho:** but

**minho:** well

**minho:** remember that night i took you guys to that club in itaewon

**minho:** jisung and hyunjin’s crush were there too

**hyunjin:** NO

**minho:** yes 😼

**minho:** mayhaps we did… stuff in the restroom

**minho:** and we’ve been seeing each other ever since

**seungminnie:** so that’s why you disappeared when you said you were going to look for hyunjin

**hyunjin:** YOU WERE EATING JISUNG’S DICK IN A PUBLIC RESTROOM

**hyunjin:** that’s

**hyunjin:** disgusting

**minho:** i never said i did the eating

**minho:** plus it’s your fault for disappearing

**minho:** bc then i wouldn’t have gone to try and find you

**minho:** and i wouldn’t have bumped into jisung

**minho:** who was also trying to find his friend bc of You

**minho:** and he wouldn’t have tried to shamelessly flirt with me

**minho:** and i wouldn’t have agreed to dance with him

**minho:** and we wouldn’t have gone to that restroom

**minho:** and he wouldn’t have kissed me

**minho:** and

**seungiminnie:** please spare us the details

**seungminnie:** my eyes are already burning

**minho:** 😌

**hyunjin:** you could’ve told us

**jeonginnie:** yeah

**jeonginnie:** that wasn’t best friend behavior minho 😤

**minho:** idk

**minho:** we were just fooling around

**minho:** but i guess

**minho:** it got serious

**minho:** and i like him

**minho:** or whatever idk

**jeonginnie:** 😍😍😍😍

**jeonginnie:** that’s so cute

**seungminnie:** i sure hope u like him

**seungminnie:** you’re dating him

**hyunjin:** still wtf 😭😭😭

**hyunjin:** i thought you weren’t into relationships

**hyunjin:** you know

**hyunjin:** bc of your crippling fear of commitment and stuff

**minho:** fuck u

**minho:** stuff happened

**minho:** we talked yesterday

**minho:** that’s all u need to know

**seungminnie:** 🙄

**seungminnie:** its okay to have feelings minho

**seungminnie:** we understand

**minho:** shut up

**hyunjin:** wait

**hyunjin:** so that time i asked u to come with me to their concert???

**hyunjin:** I KNEW it was weird that you agreed

**hyunjin:** u just wanted to see him 😭

**minho:** well

**minho:** yes

**hyunjin:** what a fucking bitch

**minho:** 😶

**jeonginnie:** im glad for u min!!!!

**jeonginnie:** i like jisung

**jeonginnie:** yesterday he told me i was funny hehe

**jeonginnie:** finally someone who recognizes my talents 😤

**cutie lix:** jisung’s great

**cutie lix:** i’m really happy for you minho (❁´◡`❁)

**jeonginnie:** OMG LIX

**jeonginnie:** how are you

**jeonginnie:** im making breakfast for u!!!!

**seungminnie:** lix i borrowed one of your pajamas yesterday

**seungminnie:** hope that’s okay

**hyunjin:** we’re literally side by side but

**hyunjin:** lix!!!!!! 💕💓💞💗💖💘💝

**minho:** wait

**minho:** you guys are all in lix’s house???

**hyunjin:** yes

**jeonginnie:** we had a sleepover

**seungminnie:** more like

**seungminnie:** felix cried himself to sleep and we were too tired to go home

**minho:** you dicks why didn’t you tell me???

**hyunjin:** you disappeared with your fucking boyfriend??

**hyunjin:** also didn’t you read lix’s message yesterday?

**minho:** no?

**minho:** i had tons of texts from last night i just scrolled to the bottom

**minho:** what happened

**hyunjin:** you little shit

**hyunjin:** chan and lix kissed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**minho:** excuse me

**seungminnie:** yeah

**minho:** seriously?

**jeonginnie:** seriously

**cutie lix:** yes…

**minho:** so you’re telling me

**minho:** my plan worked?

**hyunjin:** yeah about that

**hyunjin:** we were

**hyunjin:** kind of jerks

**hyunjin:** i told lix yesterday

**hyunjin:** and i apologized on your behalf

**hyunjin:** bc he almost beat me

**hyunjin:** :/

**minho:** i mean

**minho:** im sorry that i was right i guess 🙄

**seungminnie:** it was a dick move honestly

**minho:** lix are u mad?

**cutie lix:** i mean

**cutie lix:** i was yesterday when hyunjin told me

**cutie lix:** now i’m just sad and tired :(

**minho:** im sorry

**minho:** i didn’t have like, bad intentions or anything

**cutie lix:** i know but. you didn’t need to do that

**cutie lix:** and like

**cutie lix:** i don’t mind the kissing eric bit bc it was just a game

**cutie lix:** but now i don’t know if chan’s ever gonna talk to me again

**cutie lix:** i just. want him to not hate me

**minho:** why would he hate you???

**minho:** if you kissed then that’s a good thing right?

**minho:** wait did you kiss him? or did he kiss you?

**cutie lix:** no he kissed me

**minho:** okay…?

**minho:** explain

**cutie lix:** well

**cutie lix:** after the game i was talking to eric and some of his friends

**cutie lix:** and then chan asked me if we could talk

**cutie lix:** so i said yeah obviously

**cutie lix:** i was actually kinda worried bc he had been avoiding me all night?

**cutie lix:** he asked if we could go to my room

**cutie lix:** and when we got there

**cutie lix:** he started rambling saying that he had been thinking all night about a lot of stuff and our relationship and idk like a lot of things that i can’t really remember bc we were both drunk

**cutie lix:** i told him that he wasn’t making any sense

**cutie lix:** and then he just got up and

**cutie lix:** he asked me if he could kiss me

**cutie lix:** you can imagine my fucking face

**cutie lix:** but

**cutie lix:** i was drunk so i obviously said yes

**cutie lix:** and then.

**cutie lix:** well then he kissed me

**cutie lix:** and fuck i don’t remember that much but

**cutie lix:** i remember him being really sweet…

**cutie lix:** and that’s it 😭

**minho:** what do you mean that’s it

**hyunjin:** you’re forgetting the part where he stormed off after he kissed u

**cutie lix:** yeah that :/

**minho:** he left without saying anything?

**cutie lix:** yes

**cutie lix:** like i think he probably regretted it right after

**minho:** fuck…

**cutie lix:** i was expecting a text

**cutie lix:** some apology or some shit like let’s just forget it happened

**cutie lix:** but nothing…

**cutie lix:** what if he never talks to me again 😭😭😭

**minho:** then he’d be a fucking dumbass

**hyunjin:** exactly

**seungminnie:** yes but also

**seungminnie:** you’ve been friends for ages

**seungminnie:** i don’t think you can end a friendship like that

**seungminnie:** over some stupid kiss

**jeonginnie:** he’s probably still getting used to being gay

**jeonginnie:** it happens

**hyunjin:** true

**cutie lix:** i don’t know…

**cutie lix:** i literally don’t know what to do

**cutie lix:** i liked the kiss

**cutie lix:** fuck i like him a lot

**cutie lix:** and for a moment it looked as if he liked me too

**cutie lix:** but if he does like me then why did he run away like that

**cutie lix:** 😭😭

**minho:** idk i think it’s obvious he likes you

**minho:** just give him some time

**minho:** he’s a dumb bitch he’s probably still processing

**cutie lix:** should i

**cutie lix:** text him

**minho:** no wtf

**minho:** he’s the one that ran off

**minho:** he should text you first

**hyunjin:** uhm idk

**hyunjin:** maybe he’s panicking

**hyunjin:** and he thinks you hate him for kissing u

**cutie lix:** i don’t want him to think that i hate him

**cutie lix:** i don’t hate him at all 😭

**seungminnie:** maybe you can just tell him

**seungminnie:** that you’re willing to talk about it when he’s ready

**seungminnie** : if he wants to

**seungminnie:** just so he knows

**hyunjin:** yeah that’s nice too

**hyunjin:** like don’t ask him to talk to you

**hyunjin:** but make him know you’re there for him

**hyunjin:** minnie you’re so clever

**seungminnie:** i’m not that clever

**seungminnie** : but you guys really don’t know how to talk abt feelings

**jeonginnie:** 😳

**minho:** talking about feelings never gets you anything good

**minho:** see what it got me

**minho:** a fucking boyfriend

**hyunjin:** oh geez poor minho

**hyunjin:** having a boyfriend

**hyunjin:** life’s so fucking hard for you

**minho:** yes it is

**minho:** thank you for your understanding

**seungminnie:** wait

**seungminnie:** why does it smell like something’s burning????

**jeonginnie:** uhm

**jeonginnie:** can you please come to the kitchen

**jeonginnie:** i think

**jeonginnie:** i broke the toaster

**jeonginnie:** there’s smoke

**jeonginnie:** please come quickly

**cutie lix:** innie don’t burn down my house please

**hyunjin:** at least not while we’re in it

**_Monday, 14:45_ **

****

**ugly (jisung):** do u think chan’s still mad 👉👈

**changbin:** has he talked to you?

**ugly (jisung):** no

**ugly (jisung):** you?

**changbin:** nope

**ugly (jisung):** he turned off his last connection

**ugly (jisung):** he’s so fucking dramatic 😩

**changbin:** he is

**changbin:** but i mean

**changbin:** it was kind of shitty

**changbin:** what we did

**ugly (jisung):** i know

**ugly (jisung):** but it seemed like a really great idea at the time okay

**ugly (jisung):** plus

**ugly (jisung):** it kinda worked right???

**ugly (jisung):** he kissed felix

**changbin:** yeah but he’s probably having 50 breakdowns about it

**changbin:** fuck

**ugly (jisung):** do u think

**ugly (jisung):** he finally realized he’s bi

**changbin:** i hope so 💀

**changbin:** but idk

**changbin:** we should really talk to him

**ugly (jisung):** i don’t want to get yelled at

**changbin:** let’s just use the old trick

**ugly (jisung):** fine 😔

**_Monday, 15:00_ **

**3RACHA BOIS**

**changbin:** hey chan

**changbin:** can we talk about yesterday?

**ugly (jisung):** please forgive me

**ugly (jisung):** it was all changbin’s idea

**ugly (jisung):** we just had to play along bc you know how aggressive he gets….

**changbin:** uhm it wasn’t my idea???

**changbin:** i was literally the only one who opposed it

**ugly (jisung):** okay FINE it wasn’t your idea

**ugly (jisung):** but you could’ve stopped us

**ugly (jisung):** and you didn’t

**changbin:** what the fuck was i supposed to do

**changbin:** cuff you to a table?

**ugly (jisung):** for example

**changbin:** no???

**ugly (jisung):** then you’re responsible for this too

**changbin:** yeah but not as much as u and your idiot boyfriend

**ugly (jisung):** did u just insult my boyfriend???

**changbin:** no

**changbin:** i just stated the facts

**changbin:** he’s an idiot

**changbin:** that’s why you make such a great couple

**ugly (jisung):** you’re a dick

**changbin:** and you’re fucking dumb

**bangchan:** guys

**bangchan:** please stop

**bangchan:** i don’t want you fighting over this

**ugly (jisung):** channie :(

**ugly (jisung):** please forgive us

**bangchan:** i’m not mad

**bangchan:** i mean

**bangchan:** i was

**bangchan:** but i got too much going on in my head already

**bangchan:** i don’t have the energy to be mad at you

**bangchan:** and i seriously don’t want to see you fighting okay?

**changbin:** okay :(

**ugly (jisung):** fine i’ll forgive changbin :(

**changbin:** do you want to

**changbin:** talk about it?

**changbin:** about felix i mean

**bangchan:** no

**bangchan:** not yet at least

**ugly (jisung):** u sure?

**ugly (jisung):** bc changbin gives great advice

**ugly (jisung):** and me

**ugly (jisung):** well i can send u pics of cute puppies to cheer u up

**bangchan:** it’s ok guys seriously

**bangchan:** don’t worry

**bangchan:** let’s just

**bangchan:** talk for a bit maybe?

**bangchan:** so i can clear my head

**bangchan:** bc it’s starting to hurt

**ugly (jisung):** sure

**ugly (jisung):** what do you want to talk about

**changbin:** why don’t we start with

**changbin:** minho being your fucking boyfriend?????????

**bangchan:** oh yeah

**bangchan:** how the hell did that happen

**ugly (jisung):** 😳😳😳😳😳

**ugly (jisung):** dshfsldkjkdsgdg

**ugly (jisung):** well it. just. happened

**changbin:** he’s the one you hooked up with that night right?????

**changbin:** when i took hyunjin home

**ugly (jisung):** how did u know 😳

**changbin:** well the eggplant emoji isn’t as subtle as you think it is

**changbin:** that’s the only night you’ve ever mentioned anything abt dicks

**changbin:** in like a billion years

**changbin:** and we both saw them

**changbin:** so i mean

**changbin:** i figured

**ugly (jisung):** that’s rude

**ugly (jisung):** but

**ugly (jisung):** yes we hooked up that night

**ugly (jisung):** when you abandoned me bcs of your pretty rich boy

**bangchan:** damn i missed a lot that night huh

**ugly (jisung):** yeah you really did

**changbin:** fuck

**changbin:** so that’s why you were so fucking busy these past weeks?

**changbin:** bc you were hooking up with him?

**changbin:** you’re such a traitor 😭😭😭

**ugly (jisung):** yeahjhkfshdgdg

**ugly (jisung):** are u mad? 😳

**changbin:** yes????

**ugly (jisung):** im sorry bin :(

**ugly (jisung):** you and i together…

**ugly (jisung):** it wouldn’t have worked

**ugly (jisung):** i’m a 9 you’re barely a 6

**ugly (jisung):** it was fun fooling around

**ugly (jisung):** but we’re done 😔

**changbin:** first of all

**changbin:** i’m a 10

**changbin:** and you’re a -5

**changbin:** and i’m mad bcs you didn’t fucking tell us?

**changbin:** we’re supposed to be your friends

**| _changbin:_** _and you’re a -5_

**ugly (jisung):** this is so wrong in so many ways

**ugly (jisung):** but i’ll let it slide

**ugly (jisung):** im sorry i didn’t tell you okay

**ugly (jisung):** i really wanted to

**ugly (jisung):** but he said he’d chop my dick off if his friends found out :(

**changbin:** we wouldn’t have said anything????

**changbin:** you don’t even trust us

**bangchan:** oh now you get how i felt the other day

**bangchan:** when i found out about you two idiots

**changbin:** that’s. not the same thing okay

**bangchan:** 🙄🙄🙄

**ugly (jisung):** i’m sorryyyyy

**ugly (jisung):** it wasn’t that serious

**ugly (jisung):** it was really just sex

**ugly (jisung):** that’s why i didn’t say anything

**changbin:** 😤

**bangchan:** how did you get to the dating part

**ugly (jisung):** well he usually came over to…you know do bedroom stuff

**ugly (jisung):** but then at some point we started doing other things

**ugly (jisung):** watching movies and stuff

**ugly (jisung):** until we were spending almost every day together

**ugly (jisung):** like we were basically a couple already

**ugly (jisung):** we never talked about being together

**ugly (jisung):** but we never talked about not developing feelings so…

**ugly (jisung):** when i started 😳 liking him 😳

**ugly (jisung):** i didn’t say anything tho

**ugly (jisung):** in case i ruined it

**ugly (jisung):** it was actually. fucking hard and i wanted to tell u guys so bad 😭

**bangchan:** im sorry :(

**bangchan:** im assuming you talked about it last night?

**ugly (jisung):** yes… 👉👈

**changbin:** who confessed

**changbin:** was it you?

**changbin:** it was probably you

**ugly (jisung):** no you bitch

**ugly (jisung):** well YES but it wasn’t my intention

**ugly (jisung):** ok can i just

**ugly (jisung):** [▶ audio] 4:38

* * *

“What do you mean we should end things?”, Jisung’s boots were stepping hard on the ground as he approached Minho, who was standing by the food table, about to drop one of those silly tiny burgers into his mouth. Jisung himself had gobbled down almost half of them, complaining about how stupid they were each time he stuffed a new one into his mouth.

Now, the last one of them was frozen in mid-air, pinched between Minho’s fingers. The boy looked at Jisung for a second before finally eating his treat. He chewed deliberately slow, like he was really savoring it, when they both knew it tasted like recycled cardboard. It made Jisung roll his eyes out of annoyance.

What a dick Minho was, and what an idiot Jisung was for liking him, nonetheless.

“So, you’re not avoiding me anymore?”, Minho finally said.

“I was not avoiding you, I was busy talking to my new best friend Jaemin over there”, Jisung pointed to some vague spot behind him, where there was actually no one, and continued. “That’s not the point anyway. What do you mean?”

“Ji, calm down. I know that it sounded a bit harsh but-”, Minho cut himself off when a group of people approached the table, looking for anything they could put their hands on. Apart from an annoying glance to the boys, he looked calm. He looked too calm, actually, and Jisung didn’t like that.

Because Jisung himself was stressed as fuck. There were a hundred questions going through his mind, about why Minho would want to leave him, and a million answers as to why he shouldn’t. It wasn’t easy trying to sort them out, trying to pick the right words to say without fucking up too much and not make the other boy hate him.

He couldn’t say that it was fun, the two of them together, because it sounded stupid. He couldn’t say that sex was insanely good, that was gross and objectifying. He couldn’t say that he enjoyed being with him like he did with no one else, it was too corny. He couldn’t say that he loved waking up next to him, and the way he always let him cuddle him for at least five minutes before getting out of bed, which was the perfect amount of time for Jisung to be at least somewhat conscious in the morning; too personal. He couldn’t say that he had become addicted to his presence, to his laugh and his voice and his silly jokes that no one else seemed to get, his grumpy nature that sheltered the most lovable boy he had ever met. That sounded like a confession. And he obviously couldn’t say he liked him, because that would be a direct revelation, and discussion of feelings was forbidden. _That_ would surely make the other boy run off.

It looked like he couldn’t even open his mouth, really, because those guys were still there, and Minho refused to speak with anyone in their presence.

“Fuck, you’re so annoying”, Jisung muttered as he grabbed Minho’s wrist, dragging him inside Felix’s house.

They went upstairs, going through the first open door Jisung found to his right. When he closed it behind him, he turned back around to face Minho immediately, didn’t even let the boy open his mouth before he opened his.

“Okay, look, I get that this… thing between us has been going on for a while, and maybe you don’t want that. Maybe you only wanted it to be a one-time thing, two-time thing, whatever. But get this”, Jisung started. Since his thoughts were too messy for him to actually choose a course of action, he decided to let everything out, see where it would get him. “Why does it matter? We’re having fun, right? Then we should keep having fun! Watching movies, cooking, meeting your cats and stomping on my neighbor’s wall at 3am because they won’t let us sleep. Nothing bad happened, none of your friends know about it, so why should we stop? We’re young, we’re free, whatever I don’t really remember that song”, he was rambling now, alcohol disabling his poor mouth-brain filter. But he saw a smile on Minho’s lips, and he thought that must be a good thing, so he continued. “I just think that… Fuck, I just think that you and I are great together, actually. You’re funny, I’m funny, we both respect our boundaries and shit, you love lying in bed and staying at home which I also love. And you know how to cook, and you’re always trying to teach me like you’re… worried that I’ll die if you leave me alone. Well, don’t leave me, then”.

That was not where it was supposed to go, though. That sounded desperate. Minho was about to talk, but Jisung beat him again.

“I mean…”, he started. “I mean, you don’t have to cut this off because of that stupid kiss. Was it because of that stupid kiss? Because I swear to God I don’t like Changbin, I told you we only hooked up like once. Or twice, or more than that, but that’s not the point. The point is that I don’t like anyone else, I like you, so you don’t have to worry about that. If you’re even worrying about that, I mean, I don’t really know, I’m just here guessing-”

“You like me?”, Minho cut him off successfully this time, making Jisung shrink on himself with the sudden realization.

Fuck. Had he just admitted to liking him? When it was literally the first thing he knew he couldn’t say? Oh, _fuck_.

“What? No, I mean, I like being with you and stuff. Not like, _like_ like you. Wait, that’s too many likes. I just meant that… I enjoy being in your company. You get what I mean, right?”, Jisung was a mess by now, a train-wreck happening without him being able to stop it.

“I like you too, Jisung”, Minho said.

“See? That’s what I meant, it was just a silly thing, a poor choice of words, a- What?”, Jisung almost choked on himself, eyes widening as his brain registered those last few words.

Was he hearing things? He hadn’t smoked anything, and alcohol in itself had never given him hallucinations, so what the actual fuck? Had Minho said… that he liked him?

“I said I like you too, you idiot”, Minho had the audacity to _laugh_ , when Jisung was feeling so fucking out of it. “That’s what I wanted to tell you, that’s why I said we should stop. We should stop fooling around, Jisung. Don’t use this against me or I’ll block your number and never see you again, but… I really fucking like you”.

“You… you do?”, he couldn’t quite believe those words, the words he had fantasized hearing a couple of times now, the words who had just come out of Minho’s mouth. “You like me? Why?”

“What do you mean why?”, Minho scoffed. “I just do. You’re funny sometimes, and you laugh at the jokes my friends hate. You’re nice, I guess, because I still haven’t gotten bored of being with you. And…”, he paused, adverting Jisung’s gaze. “You don’t push me. You always understand without me needing to tell you anything. You’re kind of a mess, but that’s okay too. I like you that way”.

Jisung couldn’t help but laugh. He laughed until his stomach hurt, arms around his belly, body all crunched up like he didn’t know what to do with himself. He laughed because he was dumb, because they both were. He laughed because he was fucking _happy_ , chuckles escaping his lips so loud he was sure his throat would hurt afterwards.

“Stop laughing at me, you idiot”, Minho shoved him a little, clearly embarrassed, though there was a smile threatening to appear on his face too.

When Jisung was done, all stress and tension out from his body, he sighed.

“I like you too, Min. I really do”, he said, soft voice and soft eyes.

“I know. It was kinda obvious, really”, the corners of Minho’s lips were curved upwards just the tiniest bit, drawing Jisung’s favorite smile on his face. “It was cute how you tried to deny it”.

“Shut up and kiss me, will you?”, Jisung couldn’t wait any longer.

They were both smiling so brightly their teeth collided when they approached each other and met halfway, both chuckling now. It started messily, noses bumping, lips accidentally bitten, tongues darting out too soon. But as Minho’s hands cradled Jisung’s cheeks, like they were precious things he must protect, Jisung threw his arms around the other’s neck and soon they stopped laughing, anchoring themselves to each other, deepening the kiss instead. They moved slow now, getting lost in the way it felt, almost like it was the first time; new, exciting, free, and _warm_. Minho had always been warm, despite his cold exterior, and that’s what Jisung liked about him most.

* * *

**_Monday, 15:30_ **

**3RACHA BOIS**

**bangchan:** so you’re telling me

**bangchan:** minho fell for his own trap?

**bangchan:** serves him right

**changbin:** he really did what a dumbass

**changbin:** but

**changbin:** that was c*te

**bangchan:** yeah kinda

**bangchan:** it was…unexpected

**bangchan:** but im happy for u jisungie

**bangchan:** really

**changbin:** yeah

**changbin:** me too

**ugly (jisung):** 🥺🥺🥺🥺

**ugly (jisung):** thanks chan

**bangchan:** 💙

**changbin:** what about me 💀

**ugly (jisung):** i know you’re secretly jealous

**changbin:** im not u idiot

**changbin:** i really want you to be happy

**changbin:** you deserve it after all that whining

**changbin:** and minho seems… like a decent enough person

**changbin:** he probably likes you a lot if he did all that shit last night

**changbin:** so yeah i’m happy for u

**ugly (jisung):** omg

**ugly (jisung):** you’re so mature and grownup

**ugly (jisung):** thank u bin 🤧🤧🤧

**changbin:** whatever

**changbin:** just one question

**ugly (jisung):** yeah?

**changbin:** does he make you wear cat ears in bed? 😳

**bangchan:** djsfhsdjkgjg

**ugly (jisung):** oh you’re so funny!!!!!!!

**ugly (jisung):** not yet tho 😳

**_Monday, 18:00_**

****

**changbin:** hey jinnie 🤗

**changbin:** how’s the hangover going?

**changbin:** and how’s felix doing?

**changbin:** we talked with chan

**changbin:** he’s not mad anymore

**changbin:** but he didn’t say much abt felix so… idk what he’s thinking

**changbin:** maybe we messed up last night 😕😕😕

**changbin:** i feel kinda bad

**changbin:** oh wait also

**changbin:** did minho tell you he hooked up with jisung that night we met at that club????

**changbin:** like. Wow wtf

**changbin:** anyways im guessing you’re still dead 😔

**changbin:** please revive we need to gossip abt our friend’s love lives

**_Monday, 19:00_ **

****

**changbin:** jisung i need u

**ugly (jisung):** is this your way of confessing u like me?

**ugly (jisung):** i told u we’re done bin im sorry 😔

**changbin:** no

**changbin:** it’s about

**changbin:** wait are u with minho rn?

**ugly (jisung):** no he left a while ago

**ugly (jisung):** why 👀

**changbin:** well it’s about hyunjin

**ugly (jisung):** pretty boy?

**ugly (jisung):** are you going to tell me you like him

**ugly (jisung):** bc if so then i called it i knew it and you owe me 10.000₩

**changbin:** …

**ugly (jisung):** OMG YOU DO

**ugly (jisung):** YOU REALLY LIKE HIM???

**changbin:** well

**changbin:** i don’t know yet

**ugly (jisung):** please

**ugly (jisung):** i didn’t mention yesterday’s kiss out of respect

**ugly (jisung):** but cmon you’re so obvious

**changbin:** what kiss?

**ugly (jisung):** ours???

**changbin:** what about it 😤

**changbin:** we’ve kissed thousands of times

**ugly (jisung):** yeah but you’ve never tried to suck out my entire fucking soul

**changbin:** i

**changbin:** was drunk

**changbin:** im sorry??? i guess??

**changbin:** what does that have to do with hyunjin

**ugly (jisung):** bitch i saw you looking at pretty boy

**ugly (jisung):** and the way he looked at _you_ every time he kissed someone

**ugly (jisung):** it was like watching some awfully cliched teenage tv show

**ugly (jisung):** don’t try to say you don’t know what im talking about

**ugly (jisung):** you’re being embarrassing

**changbin:** fuck u

**changbin:** yeah fine okay you’re right

**changbin:** maybe i was tyring to make him jealous

**changbin:** but just bc he kept trying to make _me_ jealous!!

**changbin:** and i. kinda was

**ugly (jisung):** that’s cause you like him

**ugly (jisung):** you like him you like him you like him!!!!!!!

**ugly (jisung):** omg this is great!!!!!!!!!

**ugly (jisung):** can’t wait to go on double dates with you guys

**ugly (jisung):** and beat u at being a better couple 💅

**changbin:** it’s not a competition

**changbin:** but what makes u think u would win

**ugly (jisung):** minho and i look too good together

**ugly (jisung):** you look like a tiny pea next to him

**ugly (jisung):** jhdfjkdsg i love this!!!

**ugly (jisung):** 🥳🥳🥳

**changbin:** you’re so fucking annoying

**changbin:** i swear

**changbin:** also may i remind you

**changbin:** he’s leaving in like? a week?

**changbin:** or two idek he hasn’t told me

**changbin:** i don’t think there’ll be double dates

**ugly (jisung):** oh fuck

**ugly (jisung):** i forgot

**ugly (jisung):** NooOOooOoOo

**ugly (jisung):** my dreams shattered

**ugly (jisung):** 😭😭😭

**changbin:** yeah…

**ugly (jisung):** but then

**ugly (jisung):** what do you actually want with him?

**ugly (jisung):** not dating i’m assuming

**ugly (jisung):** but if you just wanna hook up again?

**ugly (jisung):** you could’ve just. kissed him

**ugly (jisung):** he thinks you’re hot for some mysterious reason so…

**changbin:** i don’t know what the fuck i want

**changbin:** that’s the problem

**changbin:** like

**changbin:** do i want to kiss him?

**changbin:** fuck yes

**changbin:** he’s so fucking pretty it’s honestly insane

**changbin:** and

**changbin:** i almost got to do it last night 😶

**changbin:** until you ruined my hot moment

**ugly (jisung):** omg???

**ugly (jisung):** I DIDN’T SEE U????

**changbin:** yeah well

**changbin:** you were too busy almost getting proposed to

**ugly (jisung):** waitjhskgkg

**ugly (jisung):** what happened???

**changbin:** we were in the pool

**ugly (jisung):** YOU WERE IN THE POOL??

**changbin:** yes

**changbin:** and things got… heated

**ugly (jisung):** things got HEATED????????

**changbin:** god just let me finish

**changbin:** yeah we were drunk and we were playing

**changbin:** it was silly

**changbin:** like splashing water, trying to catch him, that kind of stuff

**changbin:** when we stopped we were

**changbin:** close

**changbin:** like i could feel him breathing into my fucking mouth

**changbin:** and i was going 🤧 crazy

**ugly (jisung):** 😳😳😳

**changbin:** i got closer and he didn’t seem to mind

**changbin:** so i thought it’d be okay if i kissed him

**changbin:** and i was about to

**changbin:** until your fucking boyfriend decided to proclaim his undying love for u to the world

**ugly (jisung):** seriously kskkljsdldgkdfñgl

**changbin:** yes

**changbin:** you robbed me from my pool makeout session 😭

**ugly (jisung):** dhfdkjghjdfg im sorryyyyy

**ugly (jisung):** it really sounded hot

**ugly (jisung):** i want to makeout with someone in a pool too 😔

**ugly (jisung):** but i mean

**ugly (jisung):** just kiss him next time???

**ugly (jisung):** since u seem to like inviting him to your house that much 👀

**changbin:** no cause like

**changbin:** now idk what to think

**changbin:** maybe we were just too drunk???

**changbin:** maybe it’s better this way

**changbin:** nothing happened

**changbin:** and we can move on with our lives

**ugly (jisung):** uhm yeah that’s not how it works

**ugly (jisung):** if you like him

**ugly (jisung):** you’re just gonna keep thinking abt it

**ugly (jisung):** and then he’ll leave and you’ll regret you didn’t have goodbye sex

**changbin:** i never said i liked him

**ugly (jisung):** please i think we’ve had enough of this with chan

**ugly (jisung):** and i think it’s obvious he likes you too

**ugly (jisung):** he laughs way too hard at your jokes

**changbin:** i don’t know

**changbin:** i mean

**changbin:** i guess i kinda like him?

**changbin:** he’s an idiot

**changbin:** but he’s nice

**changbin:** and we’ve been talking a lot lately

**changbin:** like good morning and good night stuff every fucking day

**changbin:** and i like that

**changbin:** makes me happy to know that

**changbin:** well

**changbin:** that someone worries abt me idk

**changbin:** but do i want to like him???

**changbin:** mmm…. no??????

**changbin:** what’s the fucking point if he’s leaving????

**| _changbin:_** _that someone worries abt me idk_

**ugly (jisung):** hey i worry about you too 😤

**ugly (jisung):** but… yeah you got a point

**ugly (jisung):** won’t you regret it if you don’t do anything tho?

**ugly (jisung):** you’ll write too many sappy songs abt it we don’t want that

**ugly (jisung):** we want happy changbin

**changbin:** i want happy changbin too

**changbin:** but if we do hook up and i catch feelings and then he leaves

**changbin:** then what

**changbin:** i’ll write even more sappy songs about it 🤧

**changbin:** i can’t win can i

**ugly (jisung):** maybe if you give him good enough dick he’ll stay? 🤪

**changbin:** i wish

**changbin:** first we need to talk abt last night

**changbin:** i texted him like an hour ago and he still hasn’t said anything

**changbin:** he probably regrets it 💀💀💀

**changbin:** but he was all touchy like he wanted it too

**changbin:** he grabbed my hair and everything

**changbin:** fuck i don’t know

**changbin:** should i bring it up???

**changbin:** or act as if it didn’t happen?

**ugly (jisung):** idk what to tell u bin honestly

**ugly (jisung):** like if you talk about it and he agrees to… being your fuckbuddy or whatever for a week

**ugly (jisung):** you already have feelings for him so it’s gonna hurt like a bitch

**ugly (jisung):** if you talk about it and he rejects u

**ugly (jisung):** well it’s gonna hurt but at least you’ll know it never led to anything

**ugly (jisung):** and if u don’t talk about it

**ugly (jisung):** you’ll keep thinking about what could have happened between u two

**changbin:** fuck 😕😕😕😕

**ugly (jisung):** yeah, fuck

**ugly (jisung):** i feel bad bc u made me think he’s a dick

**ugly (jisung):** but now i actually want him to date u

**ugly (jisung):** like he’s funny and so fucking hot

**ugly (jisung):** you’re never going to score a guy this hot in your life

**ugly (jisung):** and he looks at u like he really. likes you???

**ugly (jisung):** which is unbelievable

**ugly (jisung):** so... yeah i’m sad for u

**changbin:** way to cheer me up

**changbin:** u dick

**ugly (jisung):** i’m sorry i just

**ugly (jisung):** i dont really see a good solution to this

**ugly (jisung):** but if u want to take it off your chest then yeah ask him

**ugly (jisung):** go for that one last week of good sex

**changbin:** idk

**changbin:** i’ll think about it 😔

**changbin:** but thanks

**ugly (jisung):** you’re welcome

**ugly (jisung):** as i said you owe me 10.000₩

**_Monday, 20:00_ **

**hyunjin:** i revived!!!

**hyunjin:** hello 💆🏻♀️

**hyunjin:** im glad chan’s not angryyyy

**hyunjin:** we all slept at felix’s

**hyunjin:** and he’s doing better i think

**hyunjin:** he still hasn’t talked to chan but i guess he will soon

**hyunjin:** they _have_ to talk

**hyunjin:** also YEAH minho told us about it

**hyunjin:** fuck them honestly 😭😭😭

**hyunjin:** they’ve been almost dating for weeks i hate them

**changbin:** you’re not dead 👏

**changbin:** yea what the fuck they could’ve told us

**changbin:** and i really hope chan and felix fix things between them

**changbin:** if they don’t start dating i swear… i’ll kill chan

**hyunjin:** after everything we did last night

**hyunjin:** i mean not our best move

**hyunjin:** but they kissed so!!! worth it!!!

**hyunjin:** now they need to do the rest 😤

**hyunjin:** fuck my head’s actually killing me right now

**changbin:** yeah you drank _a lot_ last night

**changbin:** how are u even alive

**hyunjin:** im not

**hyunjin:** 😭

**hyunjin:** mistakes were fucking made

**changbin:** yes

**changbin:** but i had fun!

**hyunjin:** i mean me too

**hyunjin:** but after we played spin the bottle i don’t even remember tht much 😭

**changbin:** probably bc that’s when you started doing tequila shots with that hyuck guy

**hyunjin:** it’s always the tequila 😔

**changbin:** do you remember the pool?

**hyunjin:** dfjkdghdg

**hyunjin:** yeah i tried to throw you in it

**hyunjin:** and we both fell instead

**hyunjin:** bc you’re a dick

**hyunjin:** and then minho did his speech thing

**changbin:** yeah but like

**hyunjin:** wait i have to go 😩

**hyunjin:** my dad’s been nagging me to fill out some papers for uni since i came home

**hyunjin:** i was trying to ignore him but fuck

**changbin:** oh dont worry

**changbin:** you’re leaving soon right?

**hyunjin:** a week and a half

**changbin:** fuck

**hyunjin:** yeah

**hyunjin:** anyways talk later okay?

**changbin:** sure

**changbin:** try not to kill ur dad

**hyunjin:** can’t promise anything

**_Monday, 22:00_ **

**felix <3: **hey chan

**felix <3:** hope you’re okay

**felix <3: **i just wanted to tell you that

**felix <3:** if you want to talk about last night then i’m here

**felix <3:** and if you don’t that’s okay too

**felix <3:** we were both really drunk

**felix <3:** i barely even remember it honestly

**felix <3:** i just

**felix <3:** i don’t wanna lose you over some stupid mistake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 😶
> 
> so the minsung scene wasn't planned at all, but as i was writing jisung's texts telling cb and chan what happened the scene started taking form in my head and i just thought. fuck it it's better if i write this!!! and i did. hope you guys liked it <3
> 
> a big thank u to all of u guys reading this story. ofc every comment makes me smile and keeps my motivation going, but just knowing that ppl read this makes me really happy too!
> 
> [twt](https://twitter.com/noirxses)


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> > **hyunjin:** i want to stay
>> 
>> **hyunjin:** i want to stay so fucking bad
>> 
>> **hyunjin:** for him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> discussion of feelings pt. 2
> 
> pls enjoy

**_Tuesday, 10:00_ **

**lix emotional support group**

**hyunjin:** so what did chan say?

 **cutie lix:** he still hasn’t said anything :/

 **hyunjin:** wtf

 **seungminnie:** but has he read your messages?

 **cutie lix:** i don’t know

 **cutie lix:** he doesn’t have the blue tick thingy

 **cutie lix:** and he turned off his last connection

 **cutie lix:** i think he’s avoiding me…

 **jeonginnie:** well that’s just rude

 **minho:** you shouldn’t have texted him in the first place

 **minho:** he should’ve texted you

 **hyunjin:** we’d be dead by the time that happens

 **cutie lix:** should i call him?

 **minho:** absolutely not

 **minho:** i forbid u from calling him

 **hyunjin:** i’m with minho on this one

 **hyunjin:** he should text you back

 **hyunjin:** or say something

 **hyunjin:** you shouldn’t be the only one trying

 **cutie lix:** i know but

 **cutie lix:** i also know that he’s being dumb about this

 **cutie lix:** and overthinking everything

 **cutie lix:** when we could just talk about it and fix it 😭

 **cutie lix:** or not

 **cutie lix:** maybe he really does hate me

 **cutie lix:** in which case i need to know

 **cutie lix:** so i can go cry in my bed instead of wondering what the hell he’s thinking about

 **hyunjin:** lix calm down :(

 **seungminnie:** just give him some more time

 **seungminnie:** he’ll come around

 **seungminnie:** no need to push him

 **cutie lix:** 😭😭😭😭

 **cutie lix:** but do you think he hates me?

 **hyunjin:** no we’ve already talked about this

 **jeonginnie:** i haven’t seen a person as whipped as chan is for you

 **jeonginnie:** well maybe minho

 **jeonginnie:** but my point

 **jeonginnie:** he doesn’t hate you!!

 **minho:** i’m not whipped for anyone wtf

 **hyunjin:** uhm

 **hyunjin:** you’re whipped for jisung

 **minho:** no

 **minho:** i like him

 **minho:** but he obviously likes me more

 **seungminnie:** who’s gonna tell him

 **seungminnie:** that it’s the other way around 😶

 **minho:** shut up it’s not

 **cutie lix:** guys 😔

 **hyunjin:** yeah sorry

 **seungminnie:** he doesn’t hate you lixie

 **seungminnie:** just be patient

 **cutie lix:** i’m gonna die

 **jeonginnie:** please don’t die lix you’re the only one i actually like

 **hyunjin:** hey 🔪

 **jeonginnie:** 😩

**_Tuesday, 10:30_ **

**3RACHA BOIS**

**ugly (jisung):** chan

 **ugly (jisung):** are u okay

 **ugly (jisung):** did u text felix or not

 **bangchan:** no

 **changbin:** no what

 **changbin:** you didn’t text felix

 **changbin:** or you’re not okay?

 **bangchan:** i don’t know

 **bangchan:** both of them?

 **ugly (jisung)** : you didn’t text felix????????

 **changbin:** you’re not okay????????

 **bangchan:** fuck i just

 **bangchan:** he texted me last night

 **ugly (jisung):** HE TEXTED U????

 **ugly (jisung):** WHY DIDN’T U TELL US

 **ugly (jisung):** emergency meeting right NOW

 **ugly (jisung):** what did he say

 **bangchan:** well

 **bangchan:** he said this

 **bangchan:** [image attached]

 **ugly (jisung):** omfg he called it a mistake 💀💀💀💀

 **changbin:** damn

 **changbin:** at least you know he wants to talk about it

 **changbin:** which is what you should do

 **changbin:** you haven’t texted him back?

 **changbin:** why

 **bangchan:** because i’ve been thinking about it since last night

 **bangchan:** and i still don’t know what to say to him

 **bangchan:** fuck

 **bangchan:** this is

 **bangchan:** fucking hard

 **ugly (jisung):** what have you been thinking about

 **ugly (jisung):** and why didn’t u tell us immediately 😤

 **bangchan:** i don’t know

 **bangchan:** i didn’t want to bother you i guess?

 **ugly (jisung):** please chan 😩

 **ugly (jisung):** that’s always your problem

 **ugly (jisung):** you never talk about stuff

 **ugly (jisung):** that’s why everything’s messed up with felix rn

 **bangchan:** i know i fucked up

 **ugly (jisung):** oh great at least you know you’re a dick

 **changbin:** he’s not a dick

 **changbin:** he’s just a little bit. dumb

 **ugly (jisung):** he’s liked felix for god knows how many years

 **ugly (jisung):** he tried to confess being _drunk_

 **ugly (jisung):** he kissed him and he ran away afterwards

 **ugly (jisung):** and now he won’t answer his texts

 **ugly (jisung):** please i feel bad for poor lix 😭

 **changbin:** i mean

 **changbin:** it was kinda our fault that the confession happened that way

 **changbin:** but

 **changbin:** that’s not the point

 **ugly (jisung):** yes we’re ignoring that

 **bangchan:** guys just

 **bangchan:** can you

 **bangchan:** maybe

 **bangchan:** help me fix this?

 **bangchan:** bc i’m scared as shit that felix’s never going to talk to me again

 **changbin:** that’s not going to happen chan

 **ugly (jisung):** yeah i mean

 **ugly (jisung):** let’s forget abt you being a dick for a moment

 **ugly (jisung):** felix’s the one saying he doesn’t want to lose u right?

 **ugly (jisung):** so just tell him what u think

 **ugly (jisung):** _talk_ to him

 **ugly (jisung):** and the problem’s solved

 **ugly (jisung):** felix is happy you’re happy we’re all happy

 **ugly (jisung):** we can go on triple dates with changbin and pretty boy

 **ugly (jisung):** 🥳🥳🥳🥳

 **bangchan:** what????????

 **bangchan:** changbin you’re dating hyunjin??????????

 **changbin:** no wtf

 **changbin:** don’t listen to him he’s just being an idiot

 **ugly (jisung):** stop calling me idiot

 **ugly (jisung):** 😩😩

 **changbin:** jisung’s right though

 **changbin:** about felix i mean

 **changbin:** it doesn’t look like he hates you

 **changbin:** so why would you think that?

 **bangchan:** because

 **bangchan:** he said it was a mistake

 **bangchan:** and like

 **bangchan:** for me

 **bangchan:** it wasn’t?

 **ugly (jisung):** are you saying

 **ugly (jisung):** you

 **ugly (jisung):** like

 **ugly (jisung):** him

 **ugly (jisung):** 😳😳😳😳

 **bangchan:** i do

 **bangchan:** i like him a lot

 **bangchan:** i thought that was clear

 **ugly (jisung):** HE SAID IT

 **ugly (jisung):** HE FINALLY SAID IT

 **ugly (jisung):** I MANIFESTED BI CHAN INTO EXISTENCE

 **changbin:** oh my god

 **| _bangchan:_** _i thought that was clear_

 **changbin:** it was but this is the first time you’ve admitted it

 **changbin:** so congrats

 **bangchan:** thanks but i feel like a fucking idiot

 **ugly (jisung):** you are

 **ugly (jisung):** but how did you come to that realization

 **bangchan:** idk

 **bangchan:** it’s like

 **bangchan:** deep down i think part of me has always known that i liked him

 **bangchan:** more than as a friend i mean

 **bangchan:** and i think i didn’t really want to acknowledge it

 **bangchan:** because it scared me

 **bangchan:** but what if it’s too late now

 **bangchan:** what if i say all this stuff to him and he doesn’t feel the same

 **bangchan:** when i tried the other night he just stood there and he didn’t say anything

 **bangchan:** so maybe i shouldn’t say anything?

 **bangchan:** but at the same time i don’t want to lie to him

 **bangchan:** i want to be honest with myself and with him at least this one time

 **bangchan:** but what if saying the truth ends up with me losing him

 **ugly (jisung):** stop overthinking ure giving me a headache 😭

 **ugly (jisung):** i swear to god it’s so obvious felix likes u too

 **ugly (jisung):** i don’t know how you can’t see it

 **bangchan:** why did he call it a mistake then

 **changbin:** because he’s probably freaking out? like you’re doing rn?

 **ugly (jisung):** u two are just being idiots panicking abt the same “i don’t want to lose him” shit

 **ugly (jisung):** talk to him already before it really is too late

 **bangchan:** i really should…

 **ugly (jisung):** yeah

 **bangchan:** fuck

 **bangchan:** i’m

 **bangchan:** so scared

 **changbin:** you’ve faced worse than this

 **changbin:** you’re our leader

 **changbin:** our hero

 **changbin:** we wouldn’t be here without u

 **changbin:** u got this 

**ugly (jisung):** stop sucking up to him i’m still his favorite

 **ugly (jisung):** but yeah chan you’ll be fine!!!!!

 **changbin:** lmao yeah u wish

 **bangchan:** 😖😖😖

 **bangchan:** thanks guys

 **bangchan:** for everything

 **| _changbin:_** _we wouldn’t be here without u_

 **bangchan:** im the one who wouldn’t be here without you

 **bangchan:** i owe you guys everything…

 **ugly (jisung):** awww he’s getting emotional

 **ugly (jisung):** you’re welcome channie 🥰

 **ugly (jisung):** now say i’m your favorite

 **changbin:** you’re not his favorite

 **ugly (jisung):** i am

 **changbin:** where’s the proof

 **ugly (jisung):** he told me the other night

 **ugly (jisung):** on his sad drunk hours

 **ugly (jisung):** 😎

 **bangchan:** 😶

 **changbin:** chan???????????????????

 **bangchan:** im joking

 **bangchan:** you’re both equally annoying

 **bangchan:** and i love both of u

 **bangchan:** ❤

**_Tuesday, 11:00_ **

****

**felix <3:** i just

 **felix <3:** i don’t wanna lose you over some stupid mistake

 **chan:** it wasn’t

 **chan:** it wasn’t a stupid mistake i mean

 **chan:** not for me

 **chan:** i think

 **chan:** fuck

 **chan:** are u doing anything?

 **chan:** can we meet?

 **felix <3:** what?

 **felix <3:** like right now?

 **chan:** yes

 **chan:** you can’t?

 **felix <3:** i mean

 **felix <3: **i’m not doing anything rn

 **felix <3:** but i have to go to class in like half an hour

 **chan:** i’ll pick u up

 **chan:** and take u to class

 **chan:** i just

 **chan:** i really

 **chan:** really

 **chan:** want to talk about this

 **chan:** but i feel like we should do it in person?

 **felix <3:** i thought u were going to be busy all week

 **felix <3:** with those new songs u talked about

 **chan:** that can wait

 **chan:** please?

 **felix <3:** yeah of course

 **chan:** great

 **chan:** because i was already getting in the car

 **chan:** i’ll be there in 10 minutes tops

 **felix <3:** okay

 **felix <3:** please don’t cause an accident or anything

 **chan:** i’ll try 😉

**_Tuesday, 12:00_ **

****

**hyunjin:** hello

 **hyunjin:** can we

 **hyunjin:** 👉👈

 **hyunjin:** talk?

 **hyunjin:** i need emotional support

 **seungminnie:** im in class

 **seungminnie:** but the prof is boring and felix didn’t come today

 **seungminnie:** so yes please distract me

 **hyunjin:** felix didn’t go to class? 😮

 **hyunjin:** that’s weird

 **seungminnie:** idk

 **seungminnie:** he’s not responding to his texts either

 **seungminnie:** maybe something came up

 **seungminnie:** i’ll call him later

 **seungminnie:** so?

 **seungminnie:** what’s up?

 **hyunjin:** no if you’re in class that’s okay

 **hyunjin:** you shouldn’t use your phone!!

 **seungminnie:** i’m on my laptop 😇

 **seungminnie:** seriously we can talk

 **seungminnie:** prof’s just going through his slides

 **seungminnie:** i can look at them later

 **hyunjin:** uhm

 **hyunjin:** okay

 **hyunjin:** it’s about

 **hyunjin:** changbin 😶

 **seungminnie:** mmm

 **seungminnie:** what about him?

 **hyunjin:** i like him

 **seungminnie:** i know

 **hyunjin:** no but like

 **hyunjin:** i really like him

 **seungminnie:** yeah, i know

 **hyunjin:** you know?

 **seungminnie:** you told me the other night

 **seungminnie:** remember?

 **seungminnie:** you cried to innie and me for like an hour

 **hyunjin:** wtf 💀

 **hyunjin:** i don’t remember that

 **hyunjin:** seriously?

 **seungminnie:** yeah

 **hyunjin:** but like. CRY cry?

 **seungminnie:** yes there were actual tears

 **hyunjin:** fjdghdfklgjldfg

 **hyunjin:** omg

 **hyunjin:** and what did i say exactly?

 **seungminnie:** you said a lot of things

 **seungminnie:** but mostly

 **seungminnie:** that you wanted to kiss changbin

 **seungminnie:** that you liked him

 **seungminnie:** and that you didn’t want to go to boston

 **hyunjin:** f

 **hyunjin:** why didn’t you tell me yesterday

 **seungminnie:** you begged us not to

 **hyunjin:** 😩😩😩😩

 **hyunjin:** sounds like me

 **seungminnie:** so what about you liking changbin?

 **hyunjin:** it’s just that

 **hyunjin:** i keep thinking about him

 **hyunjin:** and the other night

 **hyunjin:** we almost uh

 **hyunjin:** kissed

 **seungminnie:** you what 😳

 **seungminnie:** you didn’t tell us that

 **hyunjin:** it was probably afterwards?

 **hyunjin:** idk

 **hyunjin:** we had this. Moment

 **hyunjin:** in the pool

 **hyunjin:** but we got interrupted when we were about to kiss

 **hyunjin:** by minho 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪

 **hyunjin:** and i think he tried to talk to me abt it yesterday

 **hyunjin:** and i may have acted as if i didn’t remember it

 **seungminnie:** uhm

 **seungminnie:** why?

 **hyunjin:** idk 😭😭😭

 **hyunjin:** that’s what i keep thinking about

 **hyunjin:** like maybe it’s for the better?

 **hyunjin:** what if we had kissed

 **hyunjin:** and what if we had gone home together

 **hyunjin:** that only makes things worse

 **hyunjin:** bc it means he likes me too right?

 **hyunjin:** or maybe not i don’t know but it makes things so much harder for me

 **hyunjin:** i’m leaving in a week minnie

 **hyunjin:** why do i have to start liking someone _now_???

 **hyunjin:** i think my brain hates me or something

 **hyunjin:** fuck 😭😭😭

 **hyunjin:** but like, at the same time

 **hyunjin:** if there’s only a week left then maybe i should make the most of it right?

 **seungminnie:** that can only end badly

 **seungminnie:** for both of you

 **seungminnie:** bc he’s obviously into you too

 **hyunjin:** idk

 **hyunjin:** what the fuck should i do

 **hyunjin:** i can’t just

 **hyunjin:** forget about him

 **hyunjin:** i literally can’t

 **hyunjin:** all i think about is being with him

 **hyunjin:** running away with him

 **hyunjin:** he makes me feel. happy and free

 **hyunjin:** like everytime i think abt leaving i get so scared i feel like im drowning

 **hyunjin:** and then i talk to him

 **hyunjin:** and he always calms me down somehow?

 **hyunjin:** like i can breathe again

 **hyunjin:** god it sounds fucking stupid and corny and i’m an idiot and i hate this

 **hyunjin:** i already made my decision

 **hyunjin:** i kinda got used to the idea of leaving

 **hyunjin:** but now

 **hyunjin:** i want to stay

 **hyunjin:** i want to stay so fucking bad

 **hyunjin:** for him

 **seungminnie:** then stay?

 **seungminnie:** it’s that easy

 **hyunjin:** it’s not easy minnie

 **hyunjin:** how can i stay

 **hyunjin:** what should i tell my dad?

 **hyunjin:** i have no plans

 **hyunjin:** no studies

 **hyunjin:** nothing

 **hyunjin:** you think he’s gonna let me stay?

 **seungminnie:** you had a plan

 **seungminnie:** but you fucked it up

 **seungminnie:** like you always do

 **hyunjin:** what are you talking about

 **seungminnie:** i’m talking about auditions

 **hyunjin:** what about them???

 **hyunjin:** it’s not my fault i didn’t pass them

 **seungminnie:** hyunjin

 **seungminnie:** please

 **seungminnie:** i know you didn’t go

 **seungminnie:** you told us

 **hyunjin:** i told you that?

 **hyunjin:** innie too?

 **seungminnie:** yes

 **seungminnie:** but he was as drunk as you so he probably doesn’t remember either

 **hyunjin:** fuck

 **hyunjin:** im sorry

 **hyunjin:** i wanted to tell u

 **hyunjin:** i really wanted to

 **hyunjin:** fuck

 **hyunjin:** you should’ve said something

 **seungminnie:** you were crying asking us to forget you told us

 **hyunjin:** still

 **hyunjin:** you should’ve told me

 **seungminnie:** you begged me not to bring it up?

 **seungminnie:** fuck hyunjin

 **seungminnie:** i’m just trying to be a good friend

 **seungminnie:** i don’t know what you want me to do

 **hyunjin:** i know you are

 **hyunjin:** but

 **hyunjin:** i didn’t want you to find out like this

 **hyunjin:** i don’t even know what i said

 **seungminnie:** it doesn’t matter what you said

 **seungminnie:** and if you ever intended to tell us

 **seungminnie:** i’m not pissed about that

 **seungminnie:** if that’s what you’re worried about

 **hyunjin:** but you’re pissed about something else then?

 **seungminnie:** well

 **seungminnie** : kinda

 **seungminnie:** i’m pissed that you’re complaining about not being able to stay

 **seungminnie:** when you could stay

 **seungminnie:** you just chose not to

 **hyunjin:** _i_ chose that?

 **hyunjin:** i didn’t choose any of this seungmin

 **hyunjin:** my dad did

 **hyunjin:** and it doesn’t matter if i went to those auditions or not

 **hyunjin:** because i never would’ve passed them

 **hyunjin:** so tell me what other choice did i have?

 **seungminnie:** see now you’re just being a fucking idiot

 **seungminnie:** the obvious choice you had was going to those stupid auditions

 **seungminnie:** you don’t know if you would’ve passed them or not

 **seungminnie:** you’ve just convinced yourself that you can’t do it

 **seungminnie:** because that’s the easy choice

 **seungminnie:** letting other people take control of your life

 **seungminnie:** you’re scared of your dad and your future and i get it

 **seungminnie:** but there’s a difference between being scared and being a coward

 **hyunjin:** what the fuck are you talking about

 **seungminnie:** you never told minho you liked him and now you pass it off as a joke

 **seungminnie:** when we both know it wasn’t just a stupid crush

 **seungminnie:** your mom had to convince your dad to let you try dancing

 **seungminnie:** because you didn’t have the courage to do it yourself

 **seungminnie:** this thing with changbin?

 **seungminnie:** you’ve liked him for weeks

 **seungminnie:** and you only regret it now that you have days left

 **seungminnie:** the list goes on but i think you know

 **hyunjin:** so you’re saying i’m a coward

 **hyunjin:** that this whole thing it’s my fault?

 **seungminnie:** no i’m not saying it’s your fault

 **seungminnie:** but you _are_ a coward

 **seungminnie:** you only ever do the small things

 **seungminnie:** the im gonna dye my hair and im gonna use fake piercings to piss off my dad

 **seungminnie:** so you can feel like you’re doing something about it

 **seungminnie:** but you’re not doing anything

 **seungminnie:** you’re just pretending

 **seungminnie:** and i’m tired of this hyunjin

 **seungminnie:** i’m tired of you not doing anything

 **hyunjin:** you of all people

 **hyunjin:** you’re calling me a coward?

 **hyunjin:** you’re the one that doesn’t dare tell his stupid crush that he likes him

 **hyunjin:** it’s been what

 **hyunjin:** four years now?

 **hyunjin:** you’re always talking about making jeongin your boyfriend

 **hyunjin:** i haven’t seen you do shit about it

 **hyunjin:** but please go on

 **hyunjin:** lecture me on how _i’m_ the coward

 **seungminnie:** you’re doing it again

 **hyunjin:** doing what again

 **seungminnie:** ignoring me because you know i’m right

 **seungminnie:** ignoring your problems

 **seungminnie:** not doing anything about them

 **hyunjin:** what the fuck do you want me to do seungmin

 **seungminnie:** i don’t know hyunjin

 **seungminnie:** i’m sorry i can’t give you the solution you’re looking for

 **seungminnie:** this is something you have to figure out on your own

 **seungminnie:** _you_ have to the make the decision

 **seungminnie:** no one’s gonna come to magically save you

 **seungminnie:** if you really want to stay then do something about it

 **seungminnie:** do anything

 **hyunjin:** it sounds really easy to say that

 **hyunjin:** when you’re not the one living this nightmare

 **hyunjin:** do anything?

 **hyunjin:** that’s a bullshit advice

 **seungminnie:** fine

 **seungminnie:** then don’t do anything

 **seungminnie:** and fucking leave if that’s what you want

 **hyunjin:** fuck you seungmin

 **hyunjin:** seriously

 **hyunjin:** fuck you

**_Tuesday, 13:30_ **

**changbin:** did felix tell you guys anything?

 **changbin:** because chan had a breakdown like two hours ago

 **changbin:** and he said he was going to talk to felix

 **changbin:** but he hasn’t said anything else 😶

 **hyunjin:** uhm actually no

 **hyunjin:** he was waiting for chan to text him

 **hyunjin:** and seungmin said he didn’t show up for class today

 **hyunjin:** but felix hasn’t told us anything

 **changbin:** do you think

 **changbin:** they’re together 👀

 **hyunjin:** idk

 **hyunjin:** i hope so anyways

 **changbin:** right

 **changbin:** so how’s your morning going?

 **changbin:** sorry i didn’t talk to u sooner btw

 **changbin:** we’re preparing new music this week

 **changbin:** i kinda lost track of time

 **hyunjin:** it’s okay

 **hyunjin:** my morning’s been shitty actually

 **changbin:** oh

 **changbin:** what happened?

 **hyunjin:** nothing i just

 **hyunjin:** i had a fight with seungmin

 **hyunjin:** it’s stupid

 **hyunjin:** but i’ve never really fought with him before

 **hyunjin:** so idk

 **hyunjin:** i feel weird

 **changbin:** wanna talk about it?

 **changbin:** i can call you if u want

 **hyunjin:** no it’s okay

 **hyunjin:** i would just end up crying

 **changbin:** shit jinnie :(

 **changbin:** was it that bad?

 **hyunjin:** kinda?

 **hyunjin:** we were talking about me leaving

 **hyunjin:** like i was telling him that i really want to stay and all that

 **hyunjin:** and he told me that i could stay if i wanted to

 **hyunjin:** so i was like wtf are u talking about

 **hyunjin:** well

 **hyunjin:** it turns out

 **hyunjin:** the other night i confessed i didn’t go to those auditions

 **hyunjin:** i don’t even remember it but whatever

 **hyunjin:** he called me a coward

 **hyunjin:** so i got pissed and said some nasty things to him too

 **hyunjin:** idk there’s some other stuff but that’s basically it

 **changbin:** he called you a coward?

 **changbin:** that’s… harsh

 **changbin:** im sorry :(

 **hyunjin:** yeah idk

 **hyunjin:** he’ll apologize later

 **hyunjin:** or i will

 **changbin:** i’m sure he didn’t mean it like, in a bad way

 **changbin:** he’s your best friend right?

 **changbin:** he’s probably just sad that you’re leaving

 **hyunjin:** i know but

 **hyunjin:** he said i was only leaving bc i wanted to

 **hyunjin:** bc it was the easy choice or some shit

**hyunjin:** and like

 **hyunjin:** that’s not it?

 **changbin:** uhm

 **changbin:** i mean

 **changbin:** it’s true that you had a choice

 **hyunjin:** what choice

 **hyunjin:** please not you too

 **changbin:** no don’t get me wrong hyunjin i know how you feel abt the auditions

 **changbin:** and i understand and i’m not saying you’re a coward or anything

 **changbin:** but i’m saying that

 **changbin:** you’ll never actually _know_ if you don’t try

 **changbin:** like

 **changbin:** just look at me

 **changbin:** i didn’t know if the music thing was going to work out or not

 **changbin:** i knew it was going to be hard

 **changbin:** but it’s what i wanted to do

 **changbin:** what made me happy

 **changbin:** that’s why i was willing to try

 **changbin:** and if it doesn’t work out then it doesn’t work out

 **changbin:** it’s not the end of the world

 **changbin:** there’s always something you can do

 **changbin:** i guess that’s what seungmin probably means too?

 **hyunjin:** i don’t know

 **hyunjin:** it’s a little too late to be thinking about that now isn’t it

 **changbin:** it’s never too late

 **hyunjin:** honestly

 **hyunjin:** i don’t really want to talk about this

 **hyunjin:** there’s still some papers i need to finish

 **hyunjin:** we’ll talk later okay?

 **changbin:** okay

 **changbin:** if u need anything

 **changbin:** just text me

**_Tuesday, 20:00_ **

**lix emotional support group**

**cutie lix** changed the group name to “ **lix has a boyfriend** ”

 **cutie lix:** 🙈

 **jeonginnie:** OMG LIXIE

 **jeonginnie:** DID U TALK TO CHAN???

 **seungminnie:** is this why you skipped class?

 **minho:** i knew my plan would work 😼

 **cutie lix:** 🙈🙈🙈🙈

 **cutie lix:** yeah

 **jeonginnie:** what happened!!!!!!!!!

 **seungminnie:** 😳😳😳

 **cutie lix:** well

 **cutie lix:** he texted me earlier saying he wanted to talk

 **cutie lix:** but he wanted to do it in person

 **cutie lix:** i told him i had class

 **cutie lix:** so he offered to come pick me up and take me to uni

 **cutie lix:** but

 **cutie lix:** well we started talking

 **cutie lix:** and

 **cutie lix:** djfhdkgdfgdskfdskf

 **cutie lix:** im gonna leave out the details bc it’s embarrassing 🙈

 **cutie lix:** basically he said he likes me too 🥺

 **cutie lix:** he likes me a lot 🥺

 **cutie lix:** he was so nervous it was super cute

 **cutie lix:** and i told him i like him too

 **cutie lix:** and then he asked me out 😭😭😭😭

 **jeonginnie:** awwwwww lixie that’s so cute!!!!

 **jeonginnie:** congrats

 **seungminnie:** finally!!!

 **seungminnie:** i’m really happy for u lix!!

 **minho:** i mean

 **minho:** i was expecting something better

 **minho:** but i guess not everyone can be as romantic as i am

 **seungminnie:** yeah i’m sure no one can top your drunk speech

 **minho:** right? 😔

 **minho:** i’m glad tho

 **minho:** no more whining bc you like a straight guy

 **minho:** that’s great

 **cutie lix:** thanks guys 🥺

 **cutie lix:** i feel

 **cutie lix:** i don’t even know how i feel

 **cutie lix:** i’m just really happy 😭

 **cutie lix:** i still can’t believe it

 **cutie lix:** chan likes me 😭😭😭

 **seungminnie:** okay but

 **seungminnie:** we had class at like 12pm

 **seungminnie:** you’ve been together since then?

 **cutie lix:** um yes

 **cutie lix:** there were a lot of things we needed to talk about okay

 **cutie lix:** and

 **cutie lix:** well maybe we went to his house instead

 **cutie lix:** and maybe there was

 **cutie lix:** a lot of making out

 **cutie lix:** on his couch

 **cutie lix:** 🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈

 **seungminnie:** you left me alone in class to make out with chan for 6 hours?

 **seungminnie:** wtf lix

 **cutie lix:** no we did other stuff too

 **minho:** omg you’re already having sex?

 **minho:** isn’t that a bit too fast for chan

 **minho:** he only found out he’s bi like. today

 **minho:** you guys are quick 😩

 **cutie lix:** no skdfjskjdgdfgl

 **cutie lix:** we did not have sex!!!!

 **cutie lix:** as i said we talked a lot

 **cutie lix:** but he also showed me some of the new stuff he’s been working on

 **cutie lix:** and

 **cutie lix:** a song he made about me 😭😭😭

 **jeonginnie:** he wrote you a song?

 **jeonginnie:** that’s so gay

 **jeonginnie:** good for him

 **minho:** oh The Song

 **cutie lix:** 😮

 **cutie lix:** did you know about the song?

 **minho:** yeah hyunjin told me the other night

 **cutie lix:** djsfldskdjgkdgdkfg

 **cutie lix:** why didn’t you say anything

 **cutie lix:** traitors 😞

 **minho:** idk ask hyunjin

 **jeonginnie:** where is he anyway

 **jeonginnie:** he’s missing the big announcement

 **minho:** idk

 **minho:** you guys wanna get dinner together?

 **minho:** to like. celebrate and stuff

 **seungminnie:** did your boyfriend ditch you

 **minho:** no

 **seungminnie:** it’s the first time you’ve ever asked us to “get dinner together”

 **minho:** okay maybe he said he’s busy this week

 **minho:** and i’m bored

 **minho:** so?

 **minho:** yes or no

 **jeonginnie:** yes!!!

 **jeonginnie:** i have to be back by 10 tho 😔

 **cutie lix:** i’m supposed to be studying

 **cutie lix:** but

 **cutie lix:** yes i want to see u guys 🥺

 **seungminnie:** i have to leave early too but sure

 **minho:** great come round whenever u want

 **minho:** like maybe now

 **minho:** as i said

 **minho:** i’m bored

**_Tuesday, 22:30_ **

****

**cutie lix:** hey

 **cutie lix:** how are you?

 **cutie lix:** did you read the gc?

 **hyunjin:** hey lixie

 **hyunjin:** yeah i read your texts

 **hyunjin:** im really happy for you and chan ❤

 **hyunjin:** and i’m sorry i didn’t meet u guys for dinner

 **hyunjin:** i’ve been having a crappy day

 **hyunjin:** i didn’t want to ruin your mood

 **cutie lix:** that’s okay jinnie

 **cutie lix:** actually

 **cutie lix:** seungmin told us about your fight

 **cutie lix:** do you want to talk about it?

 **hyunjin:** 🙄🙄

 **hyunjin:** not really

 **hyunjin:** i’ve been thinking about it all day

 **hyunjin:** and it just gave me a headache

 **hyunjin:** i’ll apologize tomorrow don’t worry

 **cutie lix:** it’s not about you apologizing or not

 **cutie lix:** i just

 **cutie lix:** i want to help you but i don’t know how

 **cutie lix:** i also want you to stay

 **cutie lix:** and i didn’t know you were having such a hard time about this

 **cutie lix:** like i thought some part of you did want to go

 **cutie lix:** i’m sorry i never really asked anything else

 **hyunjin:** no c’mon lix

 **hyunjin:** i didn’t tell u bc there’s no point in it

 **hyunjin:** i’m leaving

 **hyunjin:** that’s just how it is

 **cutie lix:** when i told you you could stay at mine

 **cutie lix:** i was serious

 **cutie lix:** you can stay here

 **cutie lix:** while you figure things out

 **hyunjin:** no

 **hyunjin:** i know you were serious

 **hyunjin:** and i really appreciate it

 **hyunjin:** but i don’t want to put you and your family in that situation

 **hyunjin:** you know what my dad would do

 **cutie lix:** shit hyunjin i just :(

 **cutie lix:** is there anything i can do?

 **cutie lix:** bc this situation sucks

 **hyunjin:** you don’t have to do anything lix

 **hyunjin:** seriously it’s okay

 **hyunjin:** don’t worry about it

 **hyunjin:** i’m not going to die or anything

 **hyunjin:** i’ll come back for christmas and all that stuff

 **hyunjin:** we’ll get used to it

 **cutie lix:** i hope so

 **cutie lix:** i’m sorry jinnie 😭

 **cutie lix:** i should be the one comforting u not the other way around

 **hyunjin:** shut up

 **hyunjin:** you should be happy today!!!!

 **hyunjin:** everything got cleared up with chan

 **hyunjin:** and you guys are finally together

 **hyunjin:** that’s the only thing that matters 💕

 **cutie lix:** thanks :(

 **cutie lix:** but everything would be better if you weren’t leaving

 **hyunjin:** enough sulking

 **hyunjin:** i won’t allow it 🔪

 **cutie lix:** fine

 **cutie lix:** :(

 **hyunjin:** thanks for reaching out tho

 **hyunjin:** made me feel a little better

 **cutie lix:** love u <3

 **cutie lix:** and you know if you ever need anything

 **cutie lix:** i’ll always be here

 **hyunjin:** i know <3

**_Wednesday, 00:30_ **

****

**unknown:** hey

 **unknown:** i got your number from jisung

 **unknown:** who got your number from minho

 **unknown:** i hope that’s okay

 **hyunjin:** who’s this?

 **unknown:** oh sorry

 **unknown:** it’s chan

 **hyunjin:** oh

 **hyunjin:** hey chan

 **hyunjin:** what’s up

 **hyunjin:** why didn’t you just get my number from felix?

 **chan:** because he doesn’t know about this

 **chan:** neither does changbin btw

 **chan:** so i’ll appreciate it if you don’t tell them

 **hyunjin:** uhm

 **hyunjin:** okay?

 **hyunjin:** what’s this about?

 **chan:** i was talking with felix

 **chan:** and he told me about what happened

 **chan:** he was

 **chan:** really sad

 **chan:** so i thought i could

 **chan:** maybe try and help a little

 **chan:** [link sent]

 **hyunjin:** where did u get this

 **chan:** the owner’s a friend

 **hyunjin:** right

 **hyunjin:** and what exactly do you want me to do with this?

 **chan:** it’d be cool if you signed up

 **chan:** but if you don’t want to that’s okay too

 **hyunjin:** the deadline’s this friday

 **chan:** saturday 12am actually

 **chan:** you have 3 whole days

 **chan:** i thought you said you prepared something last year?

 **chan:** i’m sure you can make it

 **hyunjin:** uhm

 **hyunjin:** i

 **hyunjin:** i don’t know

 **hyunjin:** why would i even

 **hyunjin:** i’m leaving remember?

 **chan:** felix told me you don’t want to leave

 **chan:** honestly do whatever you want

 **chan:** i just don’t like seeing felix like this

 **chan:** he kept saying he wanted to help but he couldn’t

 **hyunjin:** so why didn’t you tell him any of this

 **hyunjin:** you asked minho instead?

 **chan:** please don’t take this the wrong way

 **chan:** but i don’t really trust you to do it

 **chan:** so just in case

 **chan:** i didn’t want to get his hopes up for nothing

 **chan:** or changbin’s

 **chan:** he really cares about you too

 **chan:** as i said you can do whatever you want

 **chan:** you can ignore me if that’s what you prefer

 **hyunjin:** huh

 **hyunjin:** okay

 **hyunjin:** thanks i guess?

 **chan:** you’re welcome

 **chan:** but for the record

 **chan:** i do hope you sign up

 **chan:** it’d be nice if you could stay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hj and sm: we've never fought about anything  
> me: ok let's do this
> 
> i'm sorry for this uneventful chapter but. things had to be talked about. and they were!
> 
> i've been wanting to add some pics with how i picture changbin's tattoos for a while now and i always forget rip me. i did not forget this time but it doesn't feel like it suits the chapter so we'll have to wait a little longer. maybe until chapter 15? 😇
> 
> also it's been brought to my attention that maybe some emojis may appear as these ugly boxes with an x on them and i'm sorryyyyy :( i think the problematic emojis are the face with the hearts, the face with the party hat and the face with big teary eyes. you can copy/paste them on whatsapp i think? but i'll try to use them less often although i believe i did use some of them on this chapter... i'm really sorry D:
> 
> [twt](https://twitter.com/noirxses)


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> > **changbin:** we stop talking for a day and you suddenly want to meet 
>> 
>> **changbin:** did you miss me that much?
>> 
>> **changbin:** should i do this more often?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i woke up at 6.40am this morning and spent 3 hours watching skz's concert and now i'm full of love for them 
> 
> pls enjoy <3 (and pls forget my typos, this, as always, isn't betaed)
> 
> EDIT: hi, i don't know if anyone's going to read this bc this chapter's already posted but! i just wanted to say that i'm gonna take a break from writing this week bc i kinda really need it. so that means no update this weekend, im sorry :( i promise i'll come back the next one!! as always, thanks for reading!

**_Wednesday, 12:00_ **

**catboy:** jisung

**catboy:** jisungie

**catboy:** ji

**catboy:** sung

**catboy:** han jisung

**catboy:** jisuuuuuuuuuuuuuung

**catboy:** jisung jisung jisung jisung jisung jisung jisung jisung

**catboy:** jisung jisung jisung jisung jisung jisung jisung jisung

**jisung:** yeah????

**jisung:** what’s wrong?

**catboy:** nothing i’m just bored

**catboy:** what are you doing

**catboy:** working again?

**jisung:** aww :(

**jisung:** yeah sorry i’m with the boys

**jisung:** we started early today

**jisung:** how are you baby?

**jisung:** how’s you morning? 😚

**catboy:** as i said

**catboy:** boring

**catboy:** are we meeting later?

**jisung:** uh

**jisung:** i don’t think i can :(

**jisung:** today’s changbin’s day off so we were thinking of staying at chan’s

**jisung:** maybe sleep here

**jisung:** we want to get as much work done as possible

**jisung:** im sorryyyyyy 😭😭😭

**catboy:** fuck

**catboy:** again?

**catboy:** tf am i supposed to do today

**jisung:** go to class

**jisung:** hang out with your friends

**jisung:** and miss me a lot?

**jisung:** tho i know you’re already doing that 😌

**| _jisung:_** _go to class_

**catboy:** no thanks

**catboy:** i’ll just stay home

**catboy:** watch a movie

**catboy:** hang out with my cats

**catboy:** maybe drink an entire bottle of wine on my own

**catboy:** definitely not miss you

**jisung:** that’s the good life

**jisung:** i’m sorry i can’t be a retired old grandpa with you

**jisung:** but i’m missing you too :(

**jisung:** can’t believe it’s been two whole days without seeing each other

**jisung:** 😭😭😭

**catboy:** shut up

**catboy:** this is actually a nightmare

**catboy:** i can’t see you

**catboy:** i can’t see my friends bc seungmin and hyunjin are still pissed at each other

**catboy:** and hyunjin’s leaving next week?

**catboy:** we should be spending our last days together

**catboy:** i don’t know what the fuck they’re thinking

**catboy:** i hate their dumb asses

**jisung:** i’m sorry min :(

**jisung:** it really sucks

**jisung:** but

**jisung:** if i may

**jisung:** i think the only dumb one here is pretty boy

**jisung:** did you talk to him?

**catboy:** me?

**catboy:** no

**catboy:** what did he say to chan last night?

**jisung:** idk

**jisung:** he just thanked him

**jisung:** he didn’t say anything else

**catboy:** as expected

**catboy:** 🙄

**jisung:** yeah

**jisung:** do you think he’s gonna do it?

**catboy:** honestly?

**catboy:** i don’t know

**catboy:** i wish he did

**catboy:** but he’s never been good at confronting his dad

**catboy:** and he already made up his mind to leave so

**catboy:** whatever

**catboy:** i just want to say goodbye to the idiot

**jisung:** you could

**jisung:** maybe

**jisung:** talk to him?

**jisung:** like seungmin did?

**jisung:** well not like seungmin did bc that didn’t end up well

**jisung:** but maybe try to see what he’s thinking?

**jisung:** get him to sign up?

**jisung:** idk

**catboy:** he didn’t listen to seungmin

**catboy:** do you think he’s going to listen to me?

**catboy:** he run away crying like a baby when i offered him to stay at my house 😤

**jisung:** that was different

**jisung:** can you please try?

**catboy:** huh

**catboy:** i thought i was talking to my boyfriend

**catboy:** hello changbin

**jisung:** shut up 😔

**jisung:** changbin still doesn’t know anything

**jisung:** he sulked for a bit talking about pretty boy

**jisung:** but i think he’s okay now

**jisung:** work has him distracted

**catboy:** then?

**catboy:** why the sudden interest

**catboy:** do you want hyunjin to stay too?

**jisung:** well

**jisung:** i mean

**jisung:** i’m worried for changbin so yeah

**jisung:** it’d save me a month of sad songs and moping if hyunjin stayed

**jisung:** but it’s not just him

**jisung:** it’s you too min

**jisung:** i know he’s important to you

**jisung:** and you’re going to miss him

**jisung:** if there’s a way to avoid that

**jisung:** to avoid you feeling sad

**jisung:** then yeah ofc i want that too

**catboy:** who said anything about being sad

**jisung:** you didn’t need to say it

**jisung:** i know u

**catboy:** 🙄

**catboy:** i mean

**catboy:** ofc i’m going to miss him

**catboy:** he’s one of my best friends

**catboy:** or whatever

**catboy:** but idk

**catboy:** i don’t want to pressure him like seungmin did

**jisung:** you don’t have to pressure him

**jisung:** just ask him about what he’s thinking

**jisung:** see if you can help?

**catboy:** idk ji…

**catboy:** fuck

**catboy:** can i at least call you?

**catboy:** or are you too busy for that too 😩

**jisung:** chan’s already kinda glaring at me

**jisung:** but i finished my verse five minutes ago and changbin’s still stucked with his sooo

**jisung:** yeah ofc you can call me

**jisung:** on one condition tho

**catboy:** what condition

**jisung:** say that you miss me too 😤

**catboy:** i thought you said you knew me

**catboy:** wasn’t that implied by me talking to you to see what you’re doing

**jisung:** i want to hear it

**jisung:** please?

**catboy:** you’re so needy 🙄

**jisung:** words of affirmation 🤲

**catboy:** of course i miss you you big baby

**catboy:** can i call now?

**jisung:** yes please 💕

**_Wednesday, 13:00_ **

**minho:** hey

**hyunjin:** hey

**minho:** how r u

**hyunjin:** fine?

**hyunjin:** what do you want

**minho:** wow

**minho:** just wanted to check in on my bitchass friend

**minho:** am i not allowed to do that?

**hyunjin:** yes

**hyunjin:** but you’ve never actually done it

**hyunjin:** you only text me when you want something

**hyunjin:** so what do you want

**minho:** mayhaps

**minho:** you’re right

**minho:** okay

**minho:** i’ll go straight to the point then

**minho:** did you look into what chan sent you?

**hyunjin:** yes

**minho:** and?

**hyunjin:** and what?

**minho:** for fuck’s sake hyunjin

**minho:** what the fuck are you going to do

**minho:** are you going to sign up for the audition?

**hyunjin:** honestly?

**hyunjin:** i don’t know

**minho:** kinda was expecting that answer

**hyunjin:** well you got it

**minho:** are you even considering it?

**hyunjin:** i said i don’t know minho

**hyunjin:** is that everything?

**minho:** no it’s not

**minho:** stop with the bratty attitude

**minho:** and fucking talk to me

**hyunjin:** i don’t want to fight like i did with seungmin

**minho:** me neither

**hyunjin:** u sure?

**hyunjin:** you’re not gonna snap at me?

**minho:** when have i ever snapped at you

**hyunjin:** multiple times

**hyunjin:** almost all the time actually

**minho:** those are just jokes 🙄

**minho:** c’mon jinnie

**minho:** just tell me what’s on your mind

**hyunjin:** idk

**hyunjin:** it’s just

**hyunjin:** well i’ve obviously thought about it

**hyunjin:** i almost couldn’t sleep last night

**hyunjin:** but i don’t know if i should do it?

**hyunjin:** part of me wants to try. but.

**minho:** but…?

**hyunjin:** what’s the point min?

**hyunjin:** there’s so many things that could go wrong

**hyunjin:** and i’m leaving next tuesday

**hyunjin:** like

**hyunjin:** there’s just not enough time

**hyunjin:** so why waste it?

**hyunjin:** i’d rather spend it with you guys

**minho:** i mean

**minho:** you’re not spending your time with us either

**minho:** so you really can’t use that as an excuse

**hyunjin:** that’s cause seungmin won’t talk to me 🙄

**minho:** as far as i know he’s still waiting for an apology

**minho:** but i do think he should apologize too

**minho:** he was kind of a 🅱itch

**minho:** he was right tho

**minho:** still a 🅱itch

**hyunjin:** i know he was right

**minho:** you do?

**hyunjin:** i mean

**hyunjin:** that’s the only reason i’m even considering this

**hyunjin:** well maybe not the only one

**hyunjin:** but it definitely helped

**hyunjin:** he made some. valid points

**minho:** okay…?

**minho:** then?

**minho:** what’s stopping you?

**hyunjin:** it’s not that easy min

**hyunjin:** all those things seungmin said

**hyunjin:** i let my dad take control of my life

**hyunjin:** i’m too scared to do anything he doesn’t want me to do

**hyunjin:** i complain about shit i could change but i never actually do anything to change it

**hyunjin:** i’m a coward

**hyunjin:** i already know that

**hyunjin:** but

**hyunjin:** i don’t know if i can fix it

**hyunjin:** i don’t even know where to start

**hyunjin:** i have to overcome all my life’s fears and anxieties in the span of 3 days?

**hyunjin:** isn’t that too much?

**minho:** maybe chill your overdramatic ass???

**minho:** no one’s asking u to overcome anything

**minho:** i thought you only had to send a video?

**hyunjin:** yes

**hyunjin:** but

**minho:** shut up for a moment

**minho:** look

**minho:** you don’t even know if you’re gonna get accepted

**minho:** you just have to send one stupid video

**minho:** wait and see what happens

**minho:** and if you actually get in

**minho:** well that’s when you have to decide if you wanna do it or not

**minho:** but i don’t know what the big deal is about sending one video

**hyunjin:** i can’t just send it without thinking abt the consequences minho

**hyunjin:** i have to deal with them at some point

**hyunjin:** so it is a big deal

**minho:** there’s only consequences if you pass

**minho:** are you saying you’re _that_ confident?

**hyunjin:** no that’s not what i’m saying

**minho:** then?

**minho:** again not a big deal

**minho:** send the video

**minho:** if you pass you can think about what you really want to do

**minho:** if you don’t then you can go to boston take over your dad’s company get married have four kids forget about us

**minho:** idk whatever you intend to do there

**hyunjin:** making the video takes time

**hyunjin:** deadline’s this friday

**hyunjin:** i don’t know if i can make it

**minho:** i’m sure you can

**minho:** if you try 😉

**hyunjin:** i don’t know min

**minho:** do it or i’ll stop talking to u 🔪

**hyunjin:** 🙄

**hyunjin:** why are you all suddenly trying to get me to stay

**hyunjin:** where the fuck was this energy when i told u i was leaving

**minho:** you didn’t even tell us you were leaving

**minho:** so don’t act all offended now

**minho:** we’ve always wanted you to stay

**minho:** but

**minho:** we didn’t know you were having such a hard time about it

**minho:** bc, again, you didn’t tell us

**minho:** plus you weren’t pining for my boyfriend’s best friend before

**minho:** i guess i want you to have your stupid love story or whatever

**minho:** you deserve it after so many years of being alone 😔

**hyunjin:** thanks?

**minho:** you’re welcome

**minho:** so you’re sending the video?

**hyunjin:** i don’t know

**hyunjin:** i have to think about it

**hyunjin:** but. thanks min

**hyunjin:** i appreciate it

**hyunjin:** really

**minho:** you better

**hyunjin:** 😩

**hyunjin:** must’ve taken u a lot of effort to do this

**hyunjin:** you actually remembered how to text someone just for me?

**hyunjin:** it’s the nicest thing you’ve ever done for me

**minho:** i know

**minho:** i had to save your number and everything

**minho:** it was honestly a nightmare

**hyunjin:** idiot

**minho:** 😘

**hyunjin:** 💗

**_Wednesday, 13:30_ **

**catboy:** don’t know if he’s actually going to listen to me

**catboy:** but at least i tried

**jisung:** really?

**jisung:** did you tell him what we talked about?

**catboy:** yes

**jisung:** and what did he say?

**catboy:** he still doesn’t know what to do

**catboy:** but he knows we’re right

**jisung:** that’s something

**jisung:** i hope he reconsiders :(

**jisung:** thanks minmin 💖

**catboy:** if it doesn’t work

**catboy:** you’re the one responsible for the emotional damage it will cause me

**catboy:** i’ve become invested in this now too

**catboy:** i want him to stay

**jisung:** you’ve always wanted him to stay

**jisung:** you just didn’t want to think about it

**catboy:** 🙄

**jisung:** if it doesn’t work and hyunjin leaves

**jisung:** i promise i’ll cuddle changbin and you for a week

**catboy:** at the same time?

**jisung:** no dkfjskljgdsg

**jisung:** unless u want me to 😳

**catboy:** i’ll think about it

**jisung:** what does that mean

**catboy:** 😚

**catboy:** go spit some fire into the mic

**catboy:** or whatever the hell you guys are doing

**jisung:** 😩

**jisung:** i’ll call u later okay?

**jisung:** ily 💖

**catboy:** me too ❤

**_Wednesday, 18:00_ **

****

**felix:** hello i miss u 😥

**felix:** how’s everything going?

**felix:** did you remember to eat?

**felix:** drink lots of water too!!!!

**channie <3:** lixieeeee ❤❤❤❤❤

**channie <3:** i miss u too

**channie <3:** i miss u tons 😭

**channie <3:** it’s going great we’re actually making a lot of progress

**channie <3:** we did remember to eat this time ✌

**channie <3:** don’t worry we’re taking care of ourselves

**channie <3:** or at least i’m trying to take care of the boys

**felix:** that’s great!

**felix:** say hi to them for me!! 🥰✨

**channie <3:** they’re laughing at me rn

**felix:** why?

**channie <3:** because i can’t stop smiling

**felix:** 😊😊😊😊😊😊

**felix:** that’s a good thing!

**channie <3:** can’t believe i had to choose this week to finally tell you

**channie <3:** when we can’t see each other 😥

**channie <3:** i’m dumb

**felix:** you are

**felix:** the biggest dummie ever

**felix:** but it’s okay

**felix:** i think i can wait a little bit more

**channie <3:** ☺

**felix:** not too much though

**channie <3:** 😰

**channie <3:** pls don’t break up with me

**felix:** joking!!!!!

**felix:** i wouldn’t dare

**channie <3:** that’s a relief

**channie <3:** cause

**channie <3:** maybe i’m working on something for you too…

**felix:** omg?

**felix:** another song?

**felix:** chan????

**felix:** 😳😳😳

**felix:** i already cried with the first one

**channie <3:** it’s not a sad song i swear 😉

**channie <3:** ok i have to go now :(

**channie <3:** but

**channie <3:** did you talk with hyunjin?

**felix:** no :(

**felix:** i texted him a while ago asking if he wanted to hang out

**felix:** but he hasn’t texted back

**felix:** why?

**felix:** did changbin say anything?

**channie <3:** no no

**channie <3:** just wanted to check if things got better

**felix:** well

**felix:** it doesn’t look like he’s talked with seungmin either

**felix:** so idk

**felix:** i’ll try calling him

**channie <3:** :(

**channie <3:** if u need anything call me ok?

**felix:** don’t worry

**felix:** go make the greatest songs ever!!!!

**felix:** talk later 💕💕💕

**channie <3:** 😘🥰😘🥰

**_Wednesday, 19:30_ **

**innie:** seung

**innie:** min

**innie:** what are you doing

**innie:** can i come over?

**innie:** i finished studying and i’m bored

**innie:** i can only stay until 9 tho my mom’s on my ass again 😩

**seungmin:** hey

**seungmin:** i still have some things i have to do for class

**seungmin:** so now’s not really a good time

**innie:** i thought you didn’t have any more assignments???

**seungmin:** they’re not due until next month

**seungmin:** but i still have to do them

**innie:** next month?????

**innie:** wtf seungmin why are you even thinking about them

**seungmin:** they’ll probably give us more assignments next week

**seungmin:** i don’t like them piling up

**seungmin:** you know that

**innie:** next MONTH

**innie:** stop being such a nerd

**innie:** i’ll be there in 5 minutes

**innie:** put on some nice clothes 😘

**seungmin:** seriously don’t

**seungmin:** i have things to do

**innie:** are you

**innie:** rejecting my company

**innie:** this has never happened before

**innie:** im offended????

**seungmin:** sorry

**seungmin:** i’m not really in the mood

**innie:** is this bc of hyunjin?

**innie:** he still hasn’t talked to u?

**seungmin:** no

**seungmin:** i mean no he hasn’t talked to me

**seungmin:** but it’s not just about him

**seungmin:** i got other stuff in my head too

**innie:** what stuff?

**innie:** maybe i can cheer u up?

**innie:** i’ll let u hug me for one second 🤗

**seungmin:** yeah i don’t think that’s going to fix it

**innie:** is it something serious then?

**innie:** do you want to talk about it?

**innie:** im not the best at giving advice

**innie:** but that’s your fault cause it’s always the other way around

**innie:** i can maybe try??????

**seungmin:** no thanks

**seungmin:** you’ll just fry your last remaining brain cell trying to understand what feelings are

**innie:** uh????

**innie:** that was rude

**innie:** i only wanted to help

**innie:** idiot 🙄

**seungmin:** sorry

**seungmin:** i just

**innie:** you just?

**innie:** what?

**seungmin:** fuck jeongin

**seungmin:** are you seriously ignoring this?

**innie:** ??????

**innie:** ignoring what

**innie:** what are you talking about?

**seungmin:** us?

**seungmin:** what happened?

**innie:** is this about the other night?

**seungmin** : yeah?

**seungmin:** are you not going to answer my question?

**innie:** i didn’t know you actually wanted an answer?

**innie:** we were both drunk

**innie:** i didn’t think you were serious

**seungmin:** i was

**seungmin:** i thought i made it clear

**innie:** well i don’t remember that much

**innie:** so idk what you want me to say

**seungmin:** maybe try being honest

**seungmin:** for once

**innie:** it’s complicated

**seungmin:** it’s really not

**seungmin:** it’s a yes or no question

**innie:** i don’t know seungmin

**innie:** why are you being like this

**seungmin:** okay

**seungmin:** great

**seungmin:** talk to me when you have an answer

**seungmin:** cause i’m done with this shit between us

**_Wednesday, 22:00_ **

**changbin:** hey

**changbin:** i feel like we haven’t talked in years

**changbin:** sorry :(

**changbin:** how’s everything?

**hyunjin:** hey!! 💘

**hyunjin:** no don’t worry

**hyunjin:** i know you’re busy

**hyunjin:** did you make a lot of songs today???

**hyunjin:** actually i don’t know how it works

**hyunjin:** can you make more than one song in one day

**changbin:** we can bc we’re pros 😎

**changbin:** but we’ve been working on the same two tracks all day

**changbin:** one of them’s almost finished

**changbin:** the other one’s actually chan’s

**changbin:** jisung and i are just helping him

**hyunjin:** omg

**hyunjin:** another love song for felix?

**changbin:** obviously

**changbin:** at least this one doesn’t make you want to rip your fucking heart out

**hyunjin:** that’s great

**hyunjin:** that’s progress

**changbin:** yeah

**changbin:** and jisung’s been whining all afternoon cause he misses minho

**changbin:** i liked them better when they didn’t think about their bfs 24/7

**hyunjin:** sjfjdsghkg

**hyunjin:** that’s what they get for spending every single day together

**hyunjin:** i still don’t know how they haven’t gotten tired of each other yet

**changbin:** honestly a mystery

**hyunjin:** i should stop distracting u 😶

**changbin:** no that’s okay

**changbin:** we’re taking a break for dinner

**changbin:** and then we’ll get into it again

**changbin:** we’re sleeping at chan’s 😴

**hyunjin:** the commitment

**hyunjin:** aren’t you tired?

**hyunjin:** working non stop for a whole day

**changbin:** a little bit

**changbin:** but i’m way too caffeinated to notice

**hyunjin:** and how long is this break?

**changbin:** idk

**changbin:** like an hour?

**changbin:** we’re waiting for the food to arrive

**changbin:** and we’ll probably devour it in 10 minutes

**hyunjin:** oh

**hyunjin:** okay

**changbin:** something wrong?

**hyunjin:** nothing

**hyunjin:** i actually

**hyunjin:** well

**hyunjin:** i wanted to ask if we could meet?

**changbin:** meet? when?

**hyunjin:** now 😳

**hyunjin:** its okay tho you’re working!!!

**changbin:** now?

**changbin:** we stop talking for a day and you suddenly want to meet 😩

**changbin:** did you miss me that much?

**changbin:** should i do this more often?

**hyunjin:** jfghkjfdg no u silly

**hyunjin:** i want to show you something

**hyunjin:** but i can just. send a video later or smth

**changbin:** a video?

**changbin:** where are you

**hyunjin:** [location attached]

**changbin:** oh?

**changbin:** it’s not that far

**changbin:** 15 minutes car drive

**hyunjin:** i’ll pay for it

**hyunjin:** if u want

**changbin:** it’s not the money i’m worried abt

**changbin:** it’s chan and jisung’s death glares

**changbin:** but that’s okay

**changbin:** i think i’ll live

**changbin:** wait for me?

**hyunjin:** okay 😳

* * *

“So? What do you think?”, Hyunjin asked, voice ragged and a little breathless.

He was standing in the middle of the studio, hands on his hips, sweaty locks of hair clinging to his forehead that he brushed back with a swift movement. His heart was beating fast, and it wasn’t just because of the intense dancing. Sitting in front of him was Changbin, back against the mirrored wall, an indecipherable expression on his face after watching the choreography he had concocted in barely five hours.

Thankfully, he hadn’t started from scratch. This particular routine was the one he’d developed the first time he decided to try auditions, his favorite routine out of all the ones he had created. That was a whole year ago, though. It was no wonder then that when Hyunjin stepped into the old practice room earlier that afternoon, the one his mom found for him and bought without a second thought, he barely even remembered what to do.

Warming up, stretching, doing some basic moves to get his body accustomed to the activity again. It felt odd at first, but somehow strangely right. There was a familiarity with dancing that Hyunjin would never forget, even if he never danced again, his _body_ could never forget.

Sadly, he did have forgotten half the moves of the dance routines he used to be most confident in. He had to spend more than an hour re-watching his old videos, along with new videos of his favorite dancers and choreographers for inspiration. Compared to a year ago, the trends in music had changed, and that meant changes in dance styles and new dance moves too. He used to keep up with everything, always looking out for new content from his favorite artists, but after what happened he kind of stopped paying attention to anything music related. Taking it all at once was _a lot_ , but he was relieved to see he still enjoyed it.

When he finally decided on the song and played it, he expected that perfect moment of success in which he would actually dance like he never even stopped doing it. His body would somehow remember everything he was taught, and it would move on his own to create the perfect choreography he had in mind.

Unfortunately, that didn’t happen.

Staring at his own reflection in the mirror, he looked stiff and awkward. He had to stop several times because he couldn’t remember the next move, or he messed up the timing, or he simply wanted to quit. There was no precision to his moves, no sharpness, no beauty in them.

So, his first attempt was a mess.

His second attempt came after half an hour of bitter crying, half an hour in which he re-considered all his life choices, including the ones that had led him up to be there. He thought about giving up, going back to his room, finish packing his things and continue the crying on the comfort of his bed. He would fall asleep and the ugly feelings would disappear, wake up the following morning and everything would be just as it was a few hours ago. It was a tempting idea.

But then he remembered Seungmin and Minho’s words, two of his closest friends asking him to try. Chan, helping him just because he wanted to avoid Felix getting hurt. Changbin, who had never asked him to stay, but whom Hyunjin wanted to stay for the most.

There was a third attempt, and then a fourth and a fifth, and so on until he finally saw some improvement. He put his best efforts on mastering again the powerful moves, leaving the details for later. New ideas popped into his mind in the process, like visual flashes of himself doing some new move, adding a hand gesture here or accentuating his facial expression on that other bit there. He changed the choreography as best as he could when he still hadn’t actually learned it fully, until it became something else entirely, something he could maybe start being proud of.

It wasn’t ideal, and it lacked in many ways. It wasn’t even remotely finished. But the whole feel to it had changed, and he liked it, and he wanted to keep practicing it until it reached the point of utter perfection he was looking for.

It was the version he had showed Changbin just now, the version he was waiting for him to react to while he impatiently bit his lower lip.

“I thought you said this was just a rough version of the actual choreography”, Changbin spoke, his eyes fixated on Hyunjin’s figure in a way that made him even more anxious.

“Yeah, I mean, there’s still so many things I want to add. Why? Is it that bad?”, Hyunjin furrowed his brows in concern, fearing he had just messed up by being too eager and overexcited to show his progress.

“Are you kidding me?”, Changbin scoffed, incredulous. “It’s amazing, Hyunjin. If this is your idea of a first version, I can’t imagine what the final version’s going to be like”

“Seriously?”, Hyunjin asked in disbelief. “Don’t be biased, Bin, please”.

“I’m not being biased, I mean it”, Changbin’s eyes widened a bit, as they tended to do when he was being serious.

“I don’t know…”, Hyunjin had one bite left before he started drawing blood from his lips, so he switched to scratching his fingers. “I free-styled some parts because I’m still working on them”.

“I didn’t even notice?”, Changbin sounded almost aggressive, like he really wanted Hyunjin to believe him. “Like the only thing I would point out is that move where you do the cart-wheel thing with just one hand? But I’m sure you’ll polish it in no time”.

It was the most difficult move, and he almost fell on his face doing it, but at least now he managed to get himself off the floor for more than a second.

“It’s not a cart-wheel”, Hyunjin said, clicking his tongue.

“An artistic cart-wheel?”, Changbin had a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “C’mon, Hyunjin, I’m serious. It really was amazing”.

Hyunjin stared at the boy silently as he mulled on his words for a minute. He felt the drag on his muscles, the exhaustion from dancing for four hours straight weighing him down, seeping into his bones. There was the biggest sigh before he talked again, “I hope you’re right”.

“I know I am”, Changbin said. He took the water bottle Hyunjin had discarded earlier, left forgotten on the floor, and handed it to him. “You look like you need it”.

“Thanks”, he muttered meekly, approaching the boy to take the bottle from his hands. He hadn’t realized how thirsty he actually was, and it probably wouldn’t take long before his stomach started rumbling too.

Glancing at himself in the mirror, Hyunjin also realized he looked like shit. His face was drenched and slightly reddened from the effort, his hair a wet mess of black locks sticking everywhere no matter how many times he tucked them behind his ears. His breathing had calmed down, but his mouth was still parted so he could take as much air as possible. As for his clothes, it was an old black t-shirt combined with old black training pants and sneakers he had taken off at some point, because he preferred being barefoot. The choreography was supposed to look pleasing and soothing to eye, but the sight of him wasn’t pleasing at all.

Changbin, on the other hand, looked ravishingly handsome with just a plain white t-shirt tucked into light-blue jeans. His hair was messy too, but it was the good kind of messy. The one that softened his features and made Hyunjin want to run his fingers through it, tug at the strands just to see if the boy would squirm. The leather jacket he used to wear all the time was hanging on the door’s knob, and once again Hyunjin found himself lucky enough to be able to stare at his tattooed arms. They were crossed over his chest, making the muscles look even bigger. It wasn’t fair how much those stupid arms affected him, honestly.

“Stop that”, Changbin’s voice brought him back.

“Stop what?”, he asked innocently.

“Stop staring at yourself in the mirror. Stop licking your lips. You don’t look that bad, if that’s what you’re thinking”, Changbin answered, prompting Hyunjin to throw the now empty water bottle at him.

“Shut up”.

Changbin chuckled but didn’t say anything else. He followed Hyunjin’s movements as he sat beside him, resting both his back and head against the mirrored wall too, eyes closing. The tension on his shoulders eased a little, and his body thanked the rest it was given. He was weary now, but he knew it would be even worse the next day. It was going to be a good kind of pain, though. Rewarding, even.

“You’re not going to ask?”, Hyunjin broke their silence after a while, eyes still closed.

“Do you want me to?”, he heard Changbin’s voice, low.

“I think so, yeah”, Hyunjin said simply.

“Okay”, Changbin agreed, though he paused for a minute before speaking again. “What’s this about? Are you preparing for an audition?”.

“Yes”, Hyunjin answered his question, but didn’t elaborate. Truth be told, he didn’t know where to start.

“Do I have to keep asking or are you going to explain it to me?”, he felt Changbin’s body shifting, and that’s when he opened his eyes again, focusing on the boy staring at him.

“Sorry”, he smiled softly, repositioning himself on a more comfortable posture. His eyes shifted to the clock on the other side of the room. He feared he would end up spilling too much of his own thoughts if he kept looking into Changbin’s eyes. “There’s an audition, yeah. I have to send them a video. It can be any song or style, but the choreography has to be mine. If you pass the first part of the process, they schedule an interview with you, and then a practice session with the rest of the candidates. Then I think they choose”.

“A video sounds easy”, Changbin hummed, as if prompting him to continue.

“Yeah, it’s a lot easier. But the deadline’s this Friday”, Hyunjin added.

“This Friday?”, at that, Changbin raised his voice a little, and Hyunjin could feel the surprise on his face even though he wasn’t actually looking. “That’s like, in two days. Which company is it?”

“It’s not a company”, Hyunjin bit his lip for a second. “It’s more like a dance studio. I looked into it and it’s a fairly decent one. Apparently, a lot of dancers come from that place”.

“That’s awesome, too”, Changbin nodded. Hyunjin didn’t respond, so the boy continued, “You know, you can start there and join auditions for another company once you’re ready. It’s great, Hyunjin, really”.

“I don’t know, Bin”, he sighed, feeling the weight of his own anxiety on his shoulders again. “I think I’ll have to pay for the training period. If I even get in, which I don’t know, and in that case I’ll have to tell my dad and my mom and the Boston thing is literally next week so I need to know before then and my dad’s going to kill me. Fuck, there’s just a lot to consider, and I feel like everything’s going to go wrong and I shouldn’t have even tried, you know?”, he was staring at his own hands now, curled on his lap, trying to push back the growing ache on his head.

“Hey, Jin, stop that”, Changbin’s hand grabbed his own, while he hooked a finger under his chin to force his gaze upwards. “I know there’s a lot to consider, but we can figure it all out later. You just need to focus on finishing the choreography, for now. Which is already pretty incredible, by the way. And don’t tell me I’m just saying this because I’m biased. I really mean it. You’re amazing, Hyunjin”.

There was the softest look in Changbin’s eyes, and Hyunjin had to hold back the tears that were already threatening to spill.

It was stupid, really. A few words of encouragement and he already felt like he was going to die. But then again, he wasn’t used to hearing anything good about his dancing, and the way Changbin’s eyes glowed, like he was looking at something special, didn’t help his poor emotional self.

Hyunjin had never felt special, not for himself, not for anyone else. Being there, though, by Changbin’s side, he wanted to believe he was. There was warmth spreading from his limbs to his chest, and he felt safe. Loved, if he could even assume that.

It made him want to cry, thank him, hug him, kiss him.

He could almost do it now, he thought. They were close. He would only have to draw a little bit nearer, tilt his head for a better angle and capture Changbin’s lips with his own. He would start slowly, see if the other boy wanted it too. Then he would let it all free. The pent-up feelings, the stifling tension, the strong desire he had felt for him since the first night they met. It was becoming all too much for him, while at the same time being too little.

“You’re being embarrassing”, was what he said instead, laughing quietly and shifting his head so he was no longer looking at Changbin. He took his hands out of his grasp, and he grieved for a second the loss of the boy’s finger under his chin.

Changbin simply continued, no signs of ever noticing anything, “How did you even find the audition? I thought you gave up on that stuff”.

“Chan sent it to me. I think he knows someone there”, he tried to sound as casual as possible, as if Chan even talking to him was a common thing. He didn’t want to reveal too much, although he had kind of already done it, but he didn’t want to lie to Changbin, either.

“Chan?”, Changbin immediately launched himself forwards, his eyebrows shooting up. “As in Bang Chan? My friend Chan? Felix’s boyfriend Chan?”

“Yes, that Chan. Bang Chan, your friend, Felix’s boyfriend”, Hyunjin couldn’t help smile at the title.

“What the fuck? I’ve been with him all day, and he didn’t tell me anything?”, Changbin sounded offended, and Hyunjin couldn’t blame him.

He chose his next words carefully, settling for a half-truth instead. “I think Felix told him about my fight with Seungmin the other day and I guess he decided to help. But he didn’t tell Felix either because, and I quote, he didn’t think I was actually going to do it”.

“Chan told you that?”, Hyunjin peeked at him just to see that the shock on his face had already disappeared. He didn’t sound surprised by Chan’s words, but by him actually saying those words to Hyunjin. “God, he can be such a dick. I’m gonna kick his ass as soon as I go back”.

“Please don’t do that”, Hyunjin laughed softly despite it all, “he’s just looking out for Felix. Don’t want to get his hopes up for nothing”.

Or yours, is what he wanted to say.

It seemed like Changbin understood, because he fell silent and his gaze dropped down too.

Some part of Hyunjin still regretted doing this. Asking Changbin to come just to show him what he had been working on because he couldn’t hold in his excitement. It was a shitty thing of him to do, seeing as he hadn’t decided if he was actually going to send the video or not yet.

Even if he was adamant about sending it, that didn’t erase the possibility of failure. He could still not get accepted, or fuck up the final interview, or not get chosen at all. The thought kept haunting him, stronger now that he had seen the look on Changbin’s face, and he wanted to apologize for his eagerness, but he didn’t know _how_.

“I know this doesn’t necessarily mean you’re staying, but I’m really glad you are doing it”, Changbin, as always, was the one breaking their silence, voicing his thoughts along with Hyunjin’s own. “The fact that you’re even trying is a big step already. I’m really proud of you”, he had a reassuring smile on his face, and this time, Hyunjin didn’t advert his gaze. “I just hope you did it for yourself, and not because Seungmin or Chan called you a coward. You’re not a coward”.

If he was being honest, he didn’t know who he was doing this for. He didn’t think he was doing it for himself, but he wasn’t doing it just to prove Chan wrong, either. Seungmin’s words had definitely struck a chord, arisen some buried thoughts, and Minho’s speech had helped him realize that maybe this whole thing wasn’t as hard as he pictured it to be. What resonated with him the most, though, was Changbin.

Changbin’s hatred for him in the beginning, along with his infinite kindness and patience, and the similar stories they shared about their passion for music. It hadn’t taken that long for Hyunjin to realize he was actually _envious_ of him. Not the bad kind of envy, the one where you wish the other person didn’t have what they had because you wanted it for yourself. No.

Hyunjin wanted Changbin to thrive, to excel, to be the best version of himself, the version he always saw when he looked at him. But he also wanted to be able to thrive by his side, to be someone Changbin could be proud of. Someone _he_ could be proud of. He wanted to have that same strong will, the one that would allow him to live his life how he really dreamed to.

He was perfectly aware of the fact that that was impossible, though. Hyunjin had never had the will to do anything, not really, and you couldn’t just get that overnight. You had to work for it, day by day, step by step. Sometimes it would get hard, and he would want to quit. But sometimes he would feel rewarded by it, like some part of him had been an hour ago, when he had felt invincible just because he had managed to finish the first version of his choreography.

In the end, he hadn’t overcome his fears, and he didn’t know if he even could. What mattered is that he was _trying_. For Changbin’s sake, trusting him to do it. For his friend’s sake, wishing he could do it. For his own sake, maybe.

He didn’t voice any of this. He didn’t feel like he needed to.

Changbin’s hand crept down his arm until he found Hyunjin’s again, squeezing it in a reassuring gesture, as if he wanted to tell him he understood. A warm electric buzz spread through his veins, making him dizzy for a moment. This time, Hyunjin let his fingers spread slowly, interlacing them with Changbin’s as his head found rest on his shoulder. They both stayed silent, staring at their intertwined hands, each of them lost in their own thoughts.

It was peaceful, soothing. It was everything Hyunjin needed.

“You know, you kinda reek right now”, Changbin muttered after a while.

“What?”, Hyunjin pushed himself away from Changbin, annoyance spreading on his face trying to mask his embarrassment. “I’ve been dancing for five hours straight. You smell like sweaty armpits and I didn’t say anything”.

Changbin chuckled hard at that, “And I’ve been holed up in a room with the same two idiots for a whole day, I think I have an excuse”, he said, pulling Hyunjin towards him so he could have him back on his shoulder again

“Then you should’ve showered before coming here”, Hyunjin retorted, resisting to go down.

“Yeah, I totally should’ve done that. How dare I come here running just because you asked without thinking about anything else?”, Changbin rolled his eyes, though he was still smiling. “C’mon, it was just a joke!”, he added when he saw he wasn’t moving. He poked Hyunjin’s side with his free hand, forcing him to bend forwards instinctively and stifle a little scream. “Come back, we were having a nice moment”.

“You ruined your nice moment”, Hyunjin tried to get his hand out of Changbin’s, just for the sake of their banter, but the boy didn't let him go free that easily.

“I’m gonna leave in like ten minutes, Hyunjin. Just come back”, there was a small plea in Changbin’s eyes that made Hyunjin waver.

“Idiot”, he shoved him a little as he returned to his previous position, getting comfortable again on Changbin’s shoulder.

“I really hope you stay”, Changbin’s voice came out softer now, masking something Hyunjin couldn’t quite understand.

He shifted so he could look upwards and found the other boy staring right at him. His eyes were gentle, as always. They were barely inches apart.

“Me too”, he muttered.

Changbin just smiled, leaving a tiny peck on his nose. Hyunjin’s heart twisted painfully in his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that scene was supposed to be WAY shorter... but i started rambling and this is what came out, sorry 😔
> 
> changjin has me really soft today i love them with all my heart 😭
> 
> i hope you guys liked this? and thanks for reading <3
> 
> [twt](https://twitter.com/noirxses)


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> > **cutie lix:** dancer hyunjin is back!!!!
>> 
>> **cutie lix:** ヽ(✿ﾟ▽ﾟ)ノ

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!!! sorry for the delay!!! there's a lot of things i want to say!!!
> 
> first of all:
> 
> last chapter i forgot to mention what hyunjin was practicing which is really really important, at least for me. it's his choreo for when the party's over!
> 
> if you haven't seen it, Please Do: [[SKZ-PLAYER] Hyunjin "when the party's over"](https://youtu.be/bY_TqcsMyHM)
> 
> secondly:
> 
> the time for this was coming yall. i said ch15 but i couldn't wait, so here it is:
> 
> [a short thread of reference pics for how i imagine changbin's tattoos](https://twitter.com/noirxses/status/1331710552993914880)  
> 
> 
> continuing:
> 
> something really amazing happened!!! a really great artist drew changjin from this story??? and it's insanely Beautiful??? here are the links:
> 
>   * first hyunjin drawing she did I Screamed: [twt link](https://twitter.com/shufshufshuf/status/1331778155640619009)
>   * then she added changbin?? and Tattoo Meanings??? (im in Love with them btw): [twt link](https://twitter.com/shufshufshuf/status/1332096126095302656)
>   * and then she colored it and it looks even more amazing: [twt link](https://twitter.com/shufshufshuf/status/1332380751556272129)
> 

> 
> please give shuf and her drawings lots of love!!!
> 
> last but not least:
> 
> happy vic day!!! ly baby 💗
> 
> she's amazing, go read her amazing fics!! she recently posted a minsung one and it's really really good: [the sharpest lives](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27225154)
> 
> enjoy <3

**_Friday, 10:00_ **

**seungminnie:** hi

 **seungminnie:** i was talking to minho last night

 **seungminnie:** he told me about your audition

 **seungminnie:** but he hung up mid call as he usually does 🙄

 **seungminnie:** so i didn’t get all the details

 **seungminnie:** something about a video?

 **hyunjin:** hey

 **hyunjin:** yeah

 **hyunjin:** they ask for a video with a self-made choreo

 **hyunjin:** and

 **hyunjin:** it was actually chan who sent me the info

 **seungminnie:** chan?

 **seungminnie:** wow

 **seungminnie:** that’s nice of him

 **hyunjin:** yup

 **hyunjin:** really nice

 **seungminnie:** well

 **seungminnie:** i’m really glad

 **seungminnie:** you’re doing it?

 **seungminnie:** or not doing it?

 **seungminnie:** idk i just wanted to tell you

 **seungminnie:** that

 **seungminnie:** if you need anything

 **seungminnie:** you can call me

 **seungminnie:** or text me

 **seungminnie:** or whatever

 **seungminnie:** and

 **seungminnie:** it’d be great if we could hang out this weekend?

 **hyunjin:** fuck

 **hyunjin:** seungmin

 **seungminnie:** are you still pissed?

 **seungminnie:** because i know i might have been a little harsh

 **seungminnie:** and i’m sorry for that

 **hyunjin:** no it’s not that

 **seungminnie:** but

 **seungminnie:** i don’t regret it?

 **seungminnie:** i stand by what i said

 **hyunjin:** seungmin

 **hyunjin:** it’s not that

 **seungminnie:** oh

 **hyunjin:** it’s just

 **hyunjin:** i know you were right

 **hyunjin:** and i’ve been meaning to talk to u

 **hyunjin:** and apologize for what i said

 **hyunjin:** but

 **hyunjin:** idk

 **hyunjin:** i couldn’t get myself to do it

 **seungminnie:** you’re not the best at apologizing

 **seungminnie:** i know that

 **seungminnie:** it’s okay

 **hyunjin:** i’m not honestly

 **hyunjin:** i’m sorry minnie

 **hyunjin:** i really am

 **hyunjin:** for everything

 **hyunjin:** and for not apologizing immediately

 **hyunjin:** i thought you’d still be angry

 **hyunjin:** i didn’t want to fight again :/ 

**seungminnie:** seriously i get it

 **seungminnie:** i only expected your apology for like a day

 **seungminnie:** and then i was just

 **seungminnie:** giving you a little space i guess?

 **seungminnie:** but to be fair

 **seungminnie:** you were the one who got angry first

 **seungminnie:** not me

 **hyunjin:** i know 😭😭

 **hyunjin:** and i said some ugly stuff bc of that

 **hyunjin:** im sorry

 **hyunjin:** you were only trying to help

 **hyunjin:** and u did minnie

 **hyunjin:** the fact that i even started practicing again for that audition

 **hyunjin:** is mostly thanks to you

 **seungminnie:** because of me? 😳

 **seungminnie:** or because you want to be a certain someone’s boyfriend

 **seungminnie:** and that means you have to stay

 **hyunjin:** no djhgdfkjg

 **hyunjin:** shut up

 **hyunjin:** i listened to u

 **seungminnie:** you did?

 **seungminnie:** you mean

 **seungminnie:** someone listened to me? for once?

 **hyunjin:** everyone always listens to u

 **seungminnie:** yeah i wish

 **seungminnie:** so does that mean you’re doing it? the audition?

 **hyunjin:** uh

 **hyunjin:** idk? probably?

 **hyunjin:** i have. something

 **hyunjin:** like i almost finished the choreo

 **hyunjin:** but i still have to do the rest

 **hyunjin:** the video i mean

 **hyunjin:** and the deadline’s today 😩

 **seungminnie:** wanna talk about it?

 **seungminnie:** i actually

 **seungminnie:** wanted to tell you something

 **hyunjin:** oh?

 **seungminnie:** it’s about jeongin

 **hyunjin:** oh?????

 **hyunjin:** did something happen?

 **seungminnie:** not exactly

 **seungminnie:** but you kinda

 **seungminnie:** helped me too

 **seungminnie:** when you said all that stuff

 **seungminnie:** so thanks? i guess

 **hyunjin:** i did????????

 **hyunjin:** i didn’t even know what i was talking about min

 **hyunjin:** what did you do

 **hyunjin:** please

 **hyunjin:** i thought you knew better than to listen to my advice 💀

 **seungminnie:** you didn’t even give me any advice

 **seungminnie:** you just called me a coward

 **hyunjin:** true 😔

 **seungminnie:** don’t worry

 **seungminnie:** i just meant that what you said made me think

 **seungminnie:** and perhaps

 **seungminnie:** i did something

 **hyunjin:** oh god

 **seungminnie:** there’s also some stuff

 **seungminnie:** you don’t know about

 **hyunjin:** OH GOD

 **hyunjin:** you’re keeping secrets from me now????

 **seungminnie:** just one

 **hyunjin:** who are you

 **hyunjin:** where’s my seungmin

 **hyunjin:** my sweet and innocent best friend

 **hyunjin:** he would never keep secrets from me

 **hyunjin:** i want him back

 **seungminnie:** shut up 🙄

 **hyunjin:** okay just

 **hyunjin:** Tell Me!!!

 **seungminnie:** innie and i

 **seungminnie:** may have

 **seungminnie:** hooked up

 **seungminnie:** a few times

 **hyunjin:** WHAT?¿¿¿?¿?^?¿

 **hyunjin:** you have WHATSHJAJDKSD???

 **hyunjin:** seungmin????????

 **seungminnie:** yeah

 **hyunjin:** call me

 **hyunjin:** RIGHT NOW

**_Friday, 12:00_ **

**hyunjin:** you fucking idiot

 **jeonginnie:** this is jeongin not your saved messages chat

 **hyunjin:** you’re an idiot

 **jeonginnie:** you already said that

 **jeonginnie:** and i really hope you’re not actually calling Me an idiot

 **jeonginnie:** bc that would be really bold

 **jeonginnie:** coming from the idiotest person alive

 **hyunjin:** seungmin told me everything

 **hyunjin:** so yes i’m calling YOU an idiot

 **jeonginnie:** you’re back on speaking terms with him????

 **jeonginnie:** since when!!!

 **hyunjin:** since like. an hour ago

 **jeonginnie:** well finally

 **jeonginnie:** i thought you were going to leave without even saying goodbye

 **hyunjin:** you know i would never do that

 **hyunjin:** and

 **hyunjin:** that’s not the point!!!

 **jeonginnie:** fine

 **jeonginnie:** what did he tell you exactly?

 **hyunjin:** everything

 **hyunjin:** the m*ke*ut sessions

 **hyunjin:** and the friends with b*n*f*ts thing you had going on

 **hyunjin:** the party

 **jeonginnie:** what party?

 **hyunjin:** the pool party

 **hyunjin:** please don’t act as if you don’t know what i’m talking about 😩

 **jeonginnie:** is he still going on about that?

 **jeonginnie:** 🙄

 **hyunjin:** mmmm yeah?

 **hyunjin:** you’re kinda being a dick

 **hyunjin:** you know that right?

 **jeonginnie:** and did he tell you to tell me that?

 **jeonginnie:** bc he could’ve said so himself

 **hyunjin:** no

 **hyunjin:** actually

 **hyunjin:** he specifically asked me not to talk to u about this

 **jeonginnie:** then what are you doing

 **hyunjin:** i just think you needed to be called an idiot

 **hyunjin:** bc that’s what you are

 **hyunjin:** and i don’t like seeing seungmin like this

 **hyunjin:** it’s so unlike him

 **jeonginnie:** i know

 **jeonginnie:** he got pissed at me

 **jeonginnie:** and he’s never been pissed at me

 **jeonginnie:** it’s always the other way around

 **jeonginnie:** 😕

 **hyunjin:** i would be pissed too????

 **hyunjin:** can u fucking tell me what’s on your mind

 **jeonginnie:** nothing’s on my mind

 **jeonginnie:** i’m just waiting for him to calm down and talk to me again

 **jeonginnie:** or maybe if i act really really nice he’ll forgive me???

 **jeonginnie:** what do u think

 **hyunjin:** jeongin 😩

 **hyunjin:** why are you like this

 **hyunjin:** honestly

 **jeonginnie:** i don’t know what you mean

 **hyunjin:** let me just ask you

 **hyunjin:** do you like him or not

 **jeonginnie:** i don’t know

 **hyunjin:** i’m not going to tell him

 **jeonginnie:** i don’t care if u tell him

 **jeonginnie** : it’s the truth

 **jeonginnie:** i don’t know

 **hyunjin:** how can you not know

 **hyunjin:** you’ve been exchanging saliva with him for months

 **hyunjin:** you don’t just do that with someone you don’t like

 **hyunjin:** at least a little bit?

 **jeonginnie:** i mean

 **jeonginnie:** i like him enough to hook up with him, yeah

 **jeonginnie:** i like hanging out with him

 **jeonginnie:** and i like laughing at him bc he’s a nerd

 **jeonginnie:** but

 **jeonginnie:** what i mean is

 **jeonginnie:** i don’t know if i can give him what he wants

 **hyunjin:** eh

 **hyunjin:** “what he wants”?????

 **hyunjin:** is that a euphemism 😳

 **jeonginnie:** he has some weird kinks 😶

 **hyunjin:** EW STOP

 **hyunjin:** you’re both babies

 **hyunjin:** you don’t do bed stuff

 **hyunjin:** … right????

 **jeonginnie:** do you really want me to answer that

 **hyunjin:** no?

 **hyunjin:** yes????

 **jeonginnie:** we haven’t done bed stuff u idiot

 **hyunjin:** phew

 **hyunjin:** okay

 **hyunjin:** so what were you referring to

 **jeonginnie:** i thought he told you

 **jeonginnie:** seungmin wants a relati*nship

 **hyunjin:** oh

 **hyunjin:** well he didn’t use exactly use those words

 **hyunjin:** but yeah makes sense?

 **hyunjin:** he obviously likes you

 **hyunjin:** and you’re kinda making him think you like him back

 **jeonginnie:** sigh

 **jeonginnie:** i don’t know what i want or what i think

 **jeonginnie:** and i don’t really know how to talk about this

 **jeonginnie** : but thinking of a relationship

 **jeonginnie:** i just don’t feel comfortable????

 **jeonginnie:** it makes me feel

 **jeonginnie:** suffocated

 **hyunjin:** omg you’re such an aquarius 😩

 **jeonginnie:** you have 0 idea about astrology shut up

 **hyunjin:** i know but it’s what felix would say

 **hyunjin:** why don’t you just tell him then?

 **hyunjin:** that you don’t want a relationship

 **jeonginnie:** i’ve already tried

 **hyunjin:** you sure about that?

 **jeonginnie:** i mean

 **jeonginnie:** i’ve dropped hints

 **jeonginnie:** that i may not want one

 **hyunjin:** 💀💀💀

 **hyunjin:** and do you think

 **hyunjin:** he’s caught those hints

 **hyunjin:** seeing the state you guys are in

 **jeonginnie:** idk that’s not my fault…

 **hyunjin:** it is your fault

 **hyunjin:** you need to be clear with him

 **jeonginnie:** but

 **jeonginnie:** what if i hurt his feelings 😭

 **hyunjin:** you’re hurting him already innie

 **hyunjin:** and if you don’t want to be with him

 **hyunjin:** you shouldn’t encourage him

 **hyunjin:** that’s some shitty behavior right there

 **jeonginnie:** i never said i didn’t want to be with him

 **jeonginnie:** i like being with him

 **hyunjin:** then?????

 **hyunjin:** you DO want a relationship?????

 **jeonginnie:** i don’t know!!!!

 **jeonginnie:** i do and i don’t!!!!!!!

 **jeonginnie:** stop asking me so many questions

 **jeonginnie:** i’m getting stressed

 **jeonginnie:** and i have homework to do

 **jeonginnie:** i can’t think about this right now

 **hyunjin:** you’re gonna have to think about it sometime

 **hyunjin:** cause i kinda need you guys today

 **hyunjin:** and i don’t want you two idiots making everything weird

 **jeonginnie:** 😩😩😩😩😩

 **jeonginnie:** leave me and my poor decisions alone

 **jeonginnie:** i promise it won’t be weird

 **hyunjin:** do you also promise to talk to seungmin about this?

 **jeonginnie:** i promise

 **hyunjin:** 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

 **jeonginnie:** i promise i’ll think about it

 **hyunjin:** 😐

 **hyunjin:** fine i guess

 **hyunjin:** also please don’t tell seungmin about this

 **hyunjin:** as i said

 **hyunjin:** he’ll kill me

 **hyunjin:** and then he’ll probably make a documentary about it

 **hyunjin:** for a class project

 **jeonginnie:** and he’d get a 10

 **hyunjin:** i know 😥

 **jeonginnie:** i won’t say anything

 **hyunjin:** bc that would mean talking to seungmin

 **hyunjin:** something you’re not going to do

 **hyunjin:** right

 **jeonginnie:** exactly

 **jeonginnie:** now please go do whatever the hell u were doing before stressing me out

 **hyunjin:** fine 🙄

 **hyunjin:** but this isn’t just about seungmin

 **hyunjin:** im doing this is for u too

 **jeonginnie:** sure whatever

 **jeonginnie:** best friend of the year award

 **hyunjin:** 😘

**_Friday, 16:00_ **

**minho is catboy**

**hyunjin:** 👉👈

 **hyunjin:** hello

 **cutie lix:** hyunjinnie!!!!!!!!

 **seungminnie:** 👋👋

 **jeonginnie:** hi?

 **minho:** i thought this gc was dead

 **minho:** what do u want

 **hyunjin:** glad to see u missed me

 **minho:** we literally talked yesterday

 **minho:** what is it

 **hyunjin:** well

 **hyunjin:** i

 **hyunjin:** need your help

 **minho:** are you having another breakdown over changbin

 **hyunjin:** no 😩

 **hyunjin:** it’s not about him

 **minho:** boring

 **jeonginnie:** yup

 **cutie lix:** what’s wrong jinnie?

 **hyunjin:** its about the audition

 **hyunjin:** i need help filming the video

 **hyunjin:** and i thought

 **hyunjin:** since u guys know about that stuff…

 **seungminnie:** we’re literally Studying that stuff

 **hyunjin:** exactly my point

 **seungminnie:** fine by me 👍

 **minho:** since when are u guys talking to each other again

 **seungminnie:** long story

 **cutie lix:** wait

 **cutie lix:** an audition???

 **cutie lix:** what did i miss? 😭

 **hyunjin:** oh

 **hyunjin:** oh lix

 **hyunjin:** i didn’t tell u did i

 **cutie lix:** tell me what????

 **cutie lix:** **😭😭😭😭**

 **minho:** he signed up for an audition and he has to send a video

 **minho:** the deadline’s today

 **minho:** you’re welcome

 **cutie lix:** WHAT

 **hyunjin:** uhhhhh yeah

 **cutie lix:** TODAY???

 **hyunjin:** yes

 **cutie lix:** okay

 **cutie lix:** im gonna need a better explanation for all of this

 **cutie lix:** but

 **cutie lix:** ofc i’m helping!!!

 **cutie lix:** dancer hyunjin is back!!!!

 **cutie lix:** ヽ(✿ﾟ▽ﾟ)ノ

 **hyunjin:** 🥺🥺🥺

 **hyunjin:** love u lixie

 **minho:** you kids have fun 😘

 **hyunjin:** no i need you

 **hyunjin:** i want you to do my makeup

 **minho:** they’re not going to look at your face

 **minho:** why do u need makeup

 **hyunjin:** i want to look pretty

 **hyunjin:** please?

 **minho:** 🙄

 **hyunjin** : i know you have no plans today bc jisung’s still busy with music

 **hyunjin:** so

 **hyunjin:** you literally have nothing better to do

 **minho:** 🙄🙄🙄🙄

 **hyunjin:** thank u 😉

 **hyunjin:** innie you’re coming too

 **jeonginnie:** me???

 **jeonginnie:** what do u need me for

 **hyunjin:** moral support

 **hyunjin:** [location attached]

 **hyunjin:** ly guys 💖✨

* * *

“I can’t do it,” Hyunjin said.

“Yes, you can,” Minho, on his right side.

“You just have to click that button,” Seungmin, on his left side, pointed his index at the screen.

Hyunjin sighed for the hundredth time in the five minutes it had taken them to upload the video onto the audition form. He sighed _loudly_ , exaggerating every bit of it.

“I seriously can’t,” he repeated. “I think this was a mistake.”

He lifted the laptop from where it was sitting atop his thighs and put it aside so he could lean back and lie down with a loud groan, sprawling out his limbs across the floor dramatically. He threw his right arm over his face to cover his eyes, incoherent noises escaping his lips and gaining him the annoyed stares of his friends.

The four of them were sitting next to him on the floor, and Hyunjin could feel the exhaustion seeping off them after a whole afternoon of rushed work.

From makeup to filming, to re-filming again and again and doing what little editing they could, they managed to get everything done in a record time of five hours. It would’ve taken them way less if Hyunjin wasn’t so picky, changing every possible detail time and again until he was mildly pleased with the outcome.

Now that it was finally done, though, that satisfaction had shattered along with the little determination he still had with him. No matter how many times he watched the video, he still felt like something was lacking. Maybe it was the outfit he had chosen, or maybe it was the hairstyling. The lighting, too low on a certain point, too bright at the end of it. Could it be the choreography? Or could it simply be him, the one who was lacking?

What appeared to be good enough for him earlier, even something he _liked_ , turned to ashes the moment he realized the next step was letting it out onto the world.

He thought it would be different this time; easier and smooth, just the click of a button, as Seungmin said. No one was looking at him, no one was judging him, there were no people around him to compare himself to. But even if the circumstances had changed, the insecurities inside him hadn’t just vanished. It was still hard, and his brain still fought him against it.

“We did not just spend a whole Friday afternoon on this just for you to chicken out last minute,” Minho slapped his thigh, making Hyunjin shake with a little “ouch”.

He sensed someone lying down beside him, scooting closer and filling his nose with a too well-known vanilla scent. Felix draped an arm over his waist, nudging his head against his shoulder.

“C’mon, Jinnie, you did great,” the boy’s voice came muffled, sweet and warm on his skin.

“I don’t know, Lix, I—”

Seungmin cut him off before he could start complaining again, “Hyunjin, we’ve told you this already. It’s a good choreo and it’s a good video. You’ve been holed up in here for three days working on it. Don’t let it go to waste.”

“That’s right.” Hyunjin could almost physically hear Jeongin’s aggressive nodding, clearly trying to win Seungmin’s approval. “Plus, you literally have nothing to lose. You’re just being a baby.”

“I’m not being a baby, I have a right to be worried,” Hyunjin retorted, pouty lips accompanying his whiny voice. “A lot of things could go wrong, you know? Like, what if I’m getting all my hopes up and then they reject me? Or what if they don’t post the results on time? What do I do then? Do I leave? Do I stay? What do I tell my dad?”

“It’s done,” Minho said.

“How can I tell him that? What does that even mean?” Hyunjin uncovered his face, casting his head and eyes downwards to focus on Minho, brows furrowed in confusion. The laptop was sitting on his friend’s lap.

“I mean the video. I sent it”

“You did what?”

Hyunjin almost tripped on himself with how fast he got up, causing Felix to fly away with a surprised yelp. He scurried to steal the device from Minho, holding it up with one hand on its base and squinting at the screen. His eyes skipped over the words, and he felt his heart sank.

It was the same screen as before. Nothing had been sent.

His friends were all looking at him, waiting for a reaction he did not quite have.

“You’re an idiot,” he muttered.

“I bet you were glad when you thought I sent it,” Minho said.

Hyunjin couldn’t lie. He had been glad, for the shortest moment, the responsibility having been taken off his shoulders. It was back again, and it was heavier than ever.

“Fuck,” his voice was louder this time, and his face was all scrunched up as he lifted his gaze and looked at his friends.

They were all staring right back at him, expectantly.

“So?” Seungmin said, eyebrows raised.

“Fuck, okay,” he sighed and eased his expression, “I’m doing it.”

“You better be serious,” Minho said.

“I am,” Hyunjin’s gaze was back on the screen, checking one last time that all the info and details were set correctly. He took a deep breath.

He clicked the button.

The form took two or three minutes to be finally sent, a deadly slow progress bar showing right at the bottom of it. When it finished, the page changed quickly, and his inbox chimed with a new email notification. They thanked him for his submission and promised he would be contacted soon.

It was done. There was no going back now.

He closed his eyes, letting his breath out slowly, not saying anything for a few minutes.

A wave of relief rushed through him, almost knocking him out.

“Thank you, Min,” he turned back to look at him.

“You’re welcome.” Minho just shrugged.

A smile spread across Hyunjin’s lips. He closed the laptop, gently leaving it on the floor again before throwing himself towards Minho. His arms went around his neck with such force he almost made them go down, but Minho caught him as if he were expecting it.

“You’re the idiot,” Minho said, but Hyunjin could hear the smile on his voice.

“Congrats, Hyunjin,” he heard Seungmin and Jeongin’s voices behind.

Felix joined in on the hug, never one to miss an opportunity, almost crushing Hyunjin’s bones as he tried to hug Minho too in the process. “I’m happy for you, Jinnie.”

“I’m happy too,” he tightened his grip on Minho’s neck, his body buzzing with energy.

The weight had been lifted from his shoulders again, this time for good, and he felt free, his head giddy with excitement. The tiny spark of hope that was dying inside him exploded into a million little fires, all of them burning bright.

“Great, we’re all happy. Now please get off me before I stop breathing. You’re choking me,” Minho patted his back a few times before he pushed him back. Hyunjin resisted for a moment, maybe because he was trying to hold back his tears, but he eventually gave up. It warmed his heart to see that Minho still had a faint smile on his lips when they broke apart.

“Now let’s get out of here,” Minho said.

As they scattered around to pick up their things, they started chattering about everything and anything. In the end, it turned out to be mostly Felix doing the talking, telling them about the few dates he’d had with Chan, happiness oozing out of him.

There were a lot of movie names mentioned, and too much making out involved. Felix boasted about how good of a kisser Chan was, and though Hyunjin was genuinely glad for his friend, he wasn’t sure he needed the details. Still, he learned anyway that Chan liked to stuff his hands on Felix’s back pockets when they kissed, and that Felix found that extremely hot for some reason.

Meanwhile, he noticed Jeongin following Seungmin around, handing him his things with the purest and most innocent expression on his stupid baby face. Seungmin had his jaw set, not even sparing him a glance, but Hyunjin knew he was pleased with the attention. There was still a conversation to be had between them, things to be cleared, but at least it showed that Jeongin cared.

When they were all set and Hyunjin was locking the studio door behind him, Minho threw an arm around him and asked, “Should we grab dinner? Go out and celebrate?”.

“Can’t,” Hyunjin said as he turned back, grimacing slightly. “I promised my mom I’d be back for dinner tonight. And I think I’m going to tell her about the audition, too.”

“You sure about that?” Seungmin asked by his side.

They were walking towards the entrance, where Hyunjin said goodbye to the security guard with a slight bow of his head, but it wasn’t until they were outside that he answered.

“I want to know what she thinks, so yeah. It’s fine, really,” he said, a shrug of his shoulders as if it wasn’t that important.

“Well, if you say so. Just texts us later, okay?” Seungmin eyed him with concern, Hyunjin’s lips forming a comforting smile for him.

“Will do,” he promised.

Their respective cars were already waiting for them, but Hyunjin made sure to hug the four of them before he let them go.

As soon as he was comfortable on his seat, he fished his phone out of his pocket.

* * *

**_Friday, 22:30_ **

**hyunjin:** [video attached]

 **changbin:** is this

 **changbin:** 😳

 **changbin:** is this it?

 **hyunjin:** it is 🙈🙈

 **changbin:** oh god

 **changbin:** is it the final version??

 **changbin:** did you send it yet??

 **hyunjin:** yes

 **hyunjin:** watch it

 **changbin:** but what if i don’t survive

 **hyunjin:** i’m sure you will

 **changbin:** no seriously what if i die

 **hyunjin:** 🙄🙄

 **hyunjin:** then i’ll see u at ur funeral

 **changbin:** i’m sure jisung will throw a party

 **changbin:** and he’ll make u dance to one of our songs

 **hyunjin:** i’ll do my best to honor your legacy bin

 **changbin:** what’s the point if i won’t be there to watch 😔

 **hyunjin:** djkgfjgkdg

 **hyunjin:** stop being silly

 **hyunjin:** and watch it?

 **changbin:** okay okay

 **changbin:** brb

 **changbin:** if i don’t say anything in 5 minutes call an ambulance

 **hyunjin:** and seungmin says i’m the dramatic one 😩

**_Friday, 22:35_ **

****

**changbin:** emergency meeting

 **changbin:** jisung

 **changbin:** pls respond

 **changbin:** cmon

 **changbin:** jisung????

 **ugly (jisung):** im watching one piece tf do you want

 **changbin:** hyunjin

 **changbin:** video

 **changbin:** HOT

 **ugly (jisung):** ??????

 **ugly (jisung):** im gonna need more than that

 **changbin:** hyunjin. sent me his audition video

 **changbin:** and he looks

 **changbin:** really

 **changbin:** REALLY

 **changbin:** hot

 **ugly (jisung):** oh

 **ugly (jisung):** let’s see that video 👀

 **changbin:** no he sent it to me i can’t send it to you

 **ugly (jisung):** why not???????

 **ugly (jisung):** im your best friend

 **ugly (jisung):** and hyunjin’s practically your boyfriend

 **ugly (jisung):** that automatically makes me his best friend too

 **changbin:** what kind of logic is that

 **ugly (jisung):** mine

 **changbin:** sigh

 **changbin:** go back to your weeb things 😩

 **ugly (jisung):** no i already paused it bc of you

 **ugly (jisung):** send me that video

 **changbin:** okay

 **changbin:** but don’t send it to anyone else 🔪

 **ugly (jisung):** i won’t i promise

 **changbin:** [video attached]

 **ugly (jisung):** 👨💻

 **ugly (jisung):** ok watched it

 **ugly (jisung):** changbin

 **ugly (jisung):** are you okay?

 **changbin:** no?????

 **changbin:** that’s the whole point of this conversation

 **ugly (jisung):** i mean

 **ugly (jisung):** this is A SAD SONG

 **ugly (jisung):** YOU’RE GETTING HORNY

 **ugly (jisung):** OVER A SAD SONG

 **ugly (jisung):** god you’re so sex deprived it pains me

 **ugly (jisung):** don’t you know about hand stuff??????

 **changbin:** what the Ffudkc

 **changbin:** what the fuck are you alking about

 **ugly (jisung):** i mean u should m* once in a while

 **ugly (jisung):** let out all that frustration you got going on

 **changbin:** oh my god

 **changbin:** shut the fuck up jisung

 **changbin:** 💀💀💀💀💀

 **ugly (jisung):** im just saying

 **ugly (jisung):** i don’t see the big deal about this video

 **ugly (jisung):** it’s a really good choreo tho

 **ugly (jisung):** send him these for me

 **ugly (jisung):** 😮😞🤧😱😍😘

 **ugly (jisung):** it’s my live reaction

 **changbin:** im not sending him anything

 **ugly (jisung):** how am i supposed to be his friend if you don’t let us communicate?

 **ugly (jisung):** im not going to steal him from u or anything

 **ugly (jisung):** if that’s what you’re worried about

 **ugly (jisung):** i mean i could

 **ugly (jisung):** but i won’t

 **ugly (jisung):** 🅱ros before pretty boys

 **changbin:** that’s great

 **changbin:** seriously

 **changbin:** thank you

 **changbin:** i’m so relieved

 **ugly (jisung):** okay fine 😩

 **ugly (jisung):** you’re having a mental meltdown bc you think hes hot

 **ugly (jisung):** what do you want me to do about it

 **changbin:** i want you to tell me

 **changbin:** that i should Not

 **changbin:** under any circumstances

 **changbin:** flirt with him

 **ugly (jisung):** oh

 **ugly (jisung):** of course bin

 **ugly (jisung):** please

 **ugly (jisung):** do not

 **ugly (jisung):** under any circumstances

 **ugly (jisung):** NOT flirt with him

 **changbin:** god

 **changbin:** thank you

**_Friday, 22:50_ **

****

**hyunjin:** did u watch it?

 **hyunjin:** changbin???

 **hyunjin:** hello?

 **hyunjin:** did u seriously die

 **hyunjin:** cause its not funny

 **hyunjin:** i need ur feedback

 **changbin:** i didn’t die

 **changbin:** but i’m barely alive

 **changbin:** 😩😩

 **hyunjin:** that bad huh?

 **hyunjin:** im sorry

 **changbin:** it’s

 **changbin:** seriously

 **changbin:** amazing?

 **changbin:** i can’t stop watching

 **changbin:** the way you move

 **changbin:** all the details you added

 **changbin:** fuck it’s so good

 **changbin:** i really really like it

 **hyunjin:** you do?

 **hyunjin:** 🤧🤧

 **changbin:** of course i do

 **changbin:** great job with the filming too

 **changbin:** it’s perfect

 **hyunjin:** that was all minnie and lix…

 **hyunjin:** and the makeup was minho

 **hyunjin:** honestly

 **hyunjin:** i don’t know if i like it

 **hyunjin:** but i guess it’s the best i can do

 **changbin:** shut up it’s incredible

 **changbin:** and

 **changbin:** you look

 **changbin:** fucking hot

 **changbin:** if you ask me

 **hyunjin:** sdfkdjgkg

 **hyunjin:** i mean

 **hyunjin:** it’s not exactly what i was looking for?

 **hyunjin:** but thanks 😳

 **changbin:** u sure?

 **changbin:** cause the other day when you showed me the choreo

 **changbin:** you were going Hard

 **hyunjin:** that’s because im passionate

 **changbin:** and here i thought you were trying to impress me

 **hyunjin:** maybe

 **hyunjin:** that too

 **changbin:** well you did

 **changbin:** so congrats

 **hyunjin:** even though i was a sweaty mess by the end of it?

 **changbin:** honestly?

 **changbin:** that was hot too

 **hyunjin:** fuck shut up

 **hyunjin:** i looked like shit

 **hyunjin:** you on the other hand

 **hyunjin:** 🙊

 **changbin:** oh yeah?

 **changbin:** what about me?

 **hyunjin:** nothing

 **hyunjin:** im just. saying

 **hyunjin:** i like your leather jacket

 **hyunjin:** a lot

 **hyunjin:** it suits you

 **changbin:** you do?

 **changbin:** i thought you liked me more without it

 **hyunjin:** what do you mean

 **changbin:** i mean

 **changbin:** i remember you tearing it off me that night at your house

 **changbin:** you were pretty eager to get rid of it

 **hyunjin:** if i remember correctly

 **hyunjin:** you were the one who couldn’t stop biting my lips

 **hyunjin:** going on all night about how pretty they looked

 **hyunjin:** so you were

 **hyunjin:** kinda impatient too

 **changbin:** what can i say

 **changbin:** i do like your lips

 **changbin:** a lot

 **hyunjin:** pity you haven’t

 **hyunjin:** kissed them again

 **changbin:** pity you haven’t let me?

 **hyunjin:** that wasn’t me

 **hyunjin:** that was minho with his dumb speech

 **changbin:** oh

 **changbin:** so you Do remember what happened then

 **changbin:** i thought you were too drunk

 **changbin:** and you

 **changbin:** quote

 **changbin:** didn’t remember that much

 **changbin:** unquote

 **hyunjin:** did i say that?

 **changbin:** i can find the messages for u if u want

 **hyunjin:** 😶

 **changbin:** so

 **changbin:** do you actually remember the pool?

 **hyunjin:** yeah

 **hyunjin:** i do

 **changbin:** but do you remember what happened

 **changbin:** between us

 **changbin:** in the pool

 **hyunjin:** i remember bin

 **changbin:** just to be clear

 **changbin:** im talking about us

 **changbin:** almost kissing?

 **hyunjin:** i know

 **changbin:** fuck hyunjin

 **changbin:** why didn’t you say anything?

 **hyunjin:** im sorry

 **hyunjin:** i just

 **changbin:** you just?

**changbin:** hyunjin?

**changbin:** is everything okay?

**changbin:** look we don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to

**changbin:** let’s just forget i said anything okay?

**changbin:** hyunjin???

* * *

Changbin threw his phone on his bed again, sighing deeply.

It had been more than an hour since Hyunjin’s last message, and there was still no reply. No last connection, not even left on read. The silence was starting to get unbearable, and Changbin didn’t know what to do to get it out of his head.

There was a part of him that wanted to call him, get rid of the uncertainty once and for all, but the other part said that was a desperate move. He was still wondering if it was that same awful neediness what made Hyunjin recoil, or if it was something else entirely. Still, he should’ve kept his mouth shut, he thought, not push him further for the answer he wanted to hear.

Fuck.

He spent the next hour trying to finish the lyrics he had left half done that morning before his shift started, but he kept getting stuck on the same verse. Every word he wrote seemed wrong, somehow. It didn’t fit the tone, or the melody, or he couldn’t find the right rhyme for it. A heap of scrunched up papers piled up at his feet, a new one added every five minutes, fruit of his frustration. He would have to clean them up afterwards, smooth them out and put them under four or five books to try and get rid of the wrinkles, because he wasn’t about to waste perfectly good paper, but that was a problem for next day. For now, he kept tossing every sheet he found useless.

When the doorbell rang, it almost threw him off his chair. He glanced at the tiny clock sitting on the corner of his table, telling him it was past midnight, and frowned. He wasn’t expecting anyone, and people usually didn’t show up at one in the morning without at least some kind of heads-up.

Alarms ringed on in his head when he looked through the peephole, and he opened the door immediately.

Hyunjin was standing there, eyes red and face wet, sobs racking through his body making his chest jump up and down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you guys liked it! 
> 
> next chapter is. uh. something 🤭
> 
> [twt](https://twitter.com/noirxses)


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> > “I’m sorry. I didn’t know where else to go,” Hyunjin said through hiccupped breaths, a thick voice that broke towards the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> full narration again... unbetaed, please forgive any typos and mistakes :(
> 
> pls notice how the rating went up!! and some warnings, there's a "fight" in this? as in, hyunjin's shit dad appears. nothing too dark i think, but just in case

“Fuck, Hyunjin, come in.” Changbin’s face was a mix of shock and concern, his features blurred through Hyunjin’s wet eyes.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know where else to go,” Hyunjin said through hiccupped breaths, a thick voice that broke towards the end.

“It’s okay. Just come in.” Changbin ushered him forward with a gesture of his hand, and Hyunjin obeyed.

Two steps into the tiny apartment’s entrance, he stopped, sniffling and using the palms of his sweater to try and wipe his face clean. It was to no avail. Tears kept streaming down, and his breathing was so unstable he was almost choking.

The door closed behind him with a soft click, Changbin pushing it from where he was standing in front of him. When they locked eyes again, Hyunjin couldn’t help but whisper, “I’m sorry.”

“Stop that.”

In a matter of seconds, Hyunjin found himself wrapped between his arms, strong pillars trying to hold him together as the little self-control he still had with him shattered into a million pieces. He sobbed harder still, hands fisted around Changbin’s t-shirt, hanging onto him like his life depended on it.

Changbin didn’t ask. Hyunjin couldn’t have answered, anyway.

They stood there for hours, or minutes, or maybe just a few seconds. It was long enough for Hyunjin’s breathing to calm down and his eyes to dry out, a distant pounding on his head that he was sure would turn into the worst headache in the morning.

When he felt the exhaustion on his bones, he let his fists relax and let go of Changbin’s t-shirt, now wrinkled from his tight grip. His fingers hurt after using so much force, and he winced slightly as he opened and closed them a couple of times so blood could flow towards them again. Changbin’s hand on his nape stopped caressing him, leaving him hollow and cold at the loss of the comforting contact.

Hyunjin kept his head cast down after they separated. He couldn’t really bring himself to look at the other boy in the eye, knowing that the worry he’d see in him would break him anew.

Regardless of what he thought, he was forced to do so.

A finger under his chin made him lift his gaze, and a pair of hands cupped the sides of his face as his eyes met Changbin’s.

“What happened?” his voice was soft, almost a whisper.

It felt like being embraced once again, and Hyunjin wanted to cry at the mere warmth of it, but the few tears that rolled down his cheeks were wiped away by Changbin’s thumbs brushing the skin there with the utmost care.

He tried speaking, but his throat was knotted so tight it hurt, and not a single word left his lips. Pain filled his chest, and he forcefully slipped his face out of Changbin’s hold, looking down.

The other boy sighed, and his arms dropped to his sides, “Sit down and I’ll make us some tea, yeah?”

* * *

It took him a while to fully calm down.

Almost an hour later, they were sitting on the couch. Hyunjin had his knees pulled up, hands around a steaming cup he sipped every five minutes, careful to blow on its edge every time to cool down the liquid. Changbin, beside him, silently waiting and practically copying the same motions without noticing.

It wasn’t until he finished his drink, putting the cup down on the table in front of him, that Hyunjin hugged his knees and talked.

“I’m sorry,” he croaked out.

“Stop saying that, seriously,” Changbin shifted slightly on his side of the couch so he was facing him, still sitting cross-legged. “You don’t have to tell me what happened if you don’t want to. I just want to know if you’re okay.”

Hyunjin shook his head a few times, swallowing hard to soften the knot before speaking again, “I want to tell you, Bin. I do. It’s just…”

He didn’t know where to start. Even if everything had happened only a few hours ago, it was already becoming a blur on his mind, scenes passing rapidly and intertwining themselves, leaving him with only a painful storyline. At least he remembered the main part of it, he thought.

“He found out,” Hyunjin finally said. “My dad, I mean. My dad found out about the audition.”

“Fuck,” Changbin’s hands were on his own in an instant, taking them gently. “What happened?”

Once he started, it all poured out of him like water from a broken dam. Though the details felt foggy, he tried his best to pick up the pieces from the beginning.

* * *

Silence greeted him as the automatic light on the entrance lit up. He kicked his shoes off, leaving them as they were. It took less than a minute for one of their house staff to appear and take them away.

"Good evening," the man said, a perfect 90-degree bow.

Hyunjin didn’t remember his name, or what was more likely, he didn’t even know him. His father liked to change staff every month, so at one point, Hyunjin had decided to give up on his task of trying to befriend them.

"Is my mom in the kitchen?" He bowed his head in return, putting on his slippers.

"They're waiting for you in the living room, sir."

"They?" Hyunjin asked, brow slightly furrowed.

"Your father and mother, sir."

"Great, thanks."

It wasn't great at all. When had his dad ever waited for him?

Anxiousness filled him, a tingling and awful sensation settling down on the pits of his stomach.

He dragged his feet to the living room, which he was not surprised to find in complete silence, too. The house was almost always quiet.

They were at the far end of the room, where navy Chester-type sofas stood around a rectangular glass table, facing the chimney. His father had his back to him, sitting on what was his preferred seat, the armchair that presided over the table, while his mother was on the sofa to his right. She had her hands resting on her lap, eyes cast down, and Hyunjin could sense the tension on her shoulders even from afar.

The bad feeling inside him intensified.

As he walked across the white marble pillars that decorated the entrance, he cleared his throat, announcing his presence. It made his mom nearly jump on her seat, though she put on a smile afterwards. It was supposed to be a comforting smile, but Hyunjin knew her well enough to know it was anything but.

"Did something happen?" He asked as nonchalantly as possible, taking a seat next to his mom. He only looked at her, not daring to even glance at his dad.

"Sweetie..." His mother started, but her voice died like she didn't really know what to say.

"Where were you today?" His father's voice had no trace of anger, nor sympathy, nor anything Hyunjin could identify.

"Out with my friends."

"Where?" He repeated.

"Minho's." The lie came to him naturally, too used to the keeping up the façade in front of him.

There was a brief silence. Hyunjin glanced at his mom again, but she had her eyes fixed on her hands. She was twisting her fingers, a nervous tell they shared.

"How stupid do you think me to be?" This time, he heard the tinge of anger. That's when he looked at him.

"What do you mean?" He asked through the knot already forming on his throat.

"You've never been good at sneaking around, Hyunjin. You still think you can drive wherever you want, and I won't find out about it."

His heart sank in an instant, realization settling down on him as soon as he heard the word “ _drive_ ”. He didn’t need much of an explanation.

Fuck, he thought.

Knowing how controlling his father was, he had tried his best to be as careful as possible. It’s not like he told him anything about his life, and it’s not like his dad ever asked. Still, Hyunjin knew he had his own ways of finding out, as well as his mom did, and he was well aware of how cautious he needed to be.

Of all the scenarios he had considered, his own fucking driver snitching on him hadn't been one of them. As far as he knew, he was one of his mom’s, and he had always been discreet. Never asked any questions, barely even looked him in the eye.

He should’ve known better.

"You promised you'd put an end to it. What were you doing there, Hyunjin?" His dad looked calm, but Hyunjin had already learned to distinguish the peculiar glint of his eyes that augured a storm coming towards him.

Sweaty hands, and the knot on his throat tightened. He didn’t know what to say, where to look. A cold touch made him flinch, but it was just his mom. She was looking at him with regret. For a moment, he wondered if it was her the one who had exposed him.

“It’s okay, sweetie. Just tell us.” She rubbed her thumb against his wrist, a gesture that usually comforted him. It wasn’t working now.

“I hope it has nothing to do with that nasty new friend of yours,” his dad continued. “I know you’ve been seeing him, too. I thought I told you to stay away from him.”

A mental image of Changbin and him came into mind, hugging at the studio entrance before parting ways.

“It’s not about him,” was the only thing he managed to say. He hated how weak his voice sounded.

“Then what is it? You’re leaving in three days, Hyunjin. Don’t do anything stupid.”

The reminder sat on his shoulders, weighing him down. He felt tears prickling his eyes, and he tried to blink them away, tried to calm his breathing, too. Crying in front of his dad would only make things worse. He knew that.

The pressure on his wrist increased before his mom spoke, “He knows he’s leaving. He just wanted to have some fun, is all. Right, Hyunjin?”

That wasn’t right at all. He appreciated his mother trying to appease his father, but it only made not crying even harder. He was sick and tired of lying, and he had enough of pretending he was someone he didn’t want to be.

Usually, this would be the moment in which he’d say that it was nothing serious, and his father had nothing to worry about. He’d be dismissed, so he would go to his room, call Seungmin and scream about it.

Usually, he’d stay quiet.

“There’s…” he took a deep breath. “There’s an audition. I was practicing for an audition.”

“An audition?”, his father scoffed. “For God’s sake, Hyunjin. Didn’t you have enough of this last year? Stop wasting your time with this nonsense. You should be packing your things and practicing that awful English of yours, I’ve told you this already. What are you going to do when you get there if—”

“I don’t want to leave.” Hyunjin cut him off.

The confession threw his dad off-guard, if only for the way his eyes seemed to widen a bit. His mom remained silent. Even if Hyunjin hadn’t told her directly, it wasn’t news to her.

“What?”

“I just…” Hyunjin faltered, for a second. Would anything good come out of this? He wasn’t sure. He didn’t find it in himself to care, not after everything that he’d done to get there. “I don’t want to leave. I don’t.”

“I don’t care what you want, Hyunjin. You’re leaving.”

It was the first time his dad had been so vocal about it, and it lit a fire inside him. He’d always known he didn’t have a choice in the matter, but at least his dad had tried to pass it off as “doing what’s best for him”. Plainly admitting that he didn’t give a shit about his own son? It _hurt_.

“I’m not,” Hyunjin muttered.

“What was that?”

“I said I’m not. I’m not leaving.” This time he raised his voice so he could be heard clearly.

The silence that followed was so thick it almost drowned him.

No one moved, until his father closed his eyes with a deep sigh. He rubbed at his eyelids, seemingly tired, and he pinched the bridge of his nose slightly before speaking again.

“We’ve already been through this, Hyunjin. Do you know how hard it’s been for me? How difficult it was to get you into that place? You’re not exactly a model student.” He’d already heard those words before, but they still stung. “I’m not going to throw away all that work because of your little tantrum.”

“See, you always do this,” he would’ve laughed if he had it in him. “You talk about _your_ hard work, and how much you want me there, but I’m the one who has to go, and I’m saying I don’t want to. This is about _my_ life, not yours. I don’t care about Boston, and I couldn’t give less of a shit about your stupid fucking company.”

His dad moved his gaze away from him, staring at the chimney instead. He hadn’t cracked yet, not fully. “You’ve always been too sensitive. Listen, Hyunjin—”

“I said I’m not going.”

He still wasn’t sure where all this determination was coming from, but it’s not like he could stop himself either. It was the first time he was saying exactly what he wanted, as he wanted, without caring about the consequences. It was as satisfying as it was scary, because the storm in his father’s eyes was about to explode.

“Either you go to Boston, or you leave this house.”

“Sunghoon—,” his mother spoke for the first time, shock spreading through her features, a warning on her voice.

“Don’t,” his father cut her off with a raise of his hand. “If he wants to throw away his life, then fine. But he’s not doing it under my roof.”

“He’s your _son_ ,” she said, but she was ignored once again.

Hyunjin only thought about it for a second before he stood up. He had come all this way. He wasn’t about to give up now.

“Then I’m leaving.”

The stares of both his parents almost burned a hole through him.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” his father stated. “Sit down.”

“You gave me a choice. I’m making it.”

As soon as he took a step forward, his father stood up, blocking his way. Hyunjin saw him losing control, right there in front of him, anger finally seeping fully through the cracks. When he spoke again, it was through clenched teeth, “I said sit down, Hyunjin.”

“Let me go.”

“This is my last warning—”

“I’m leaving, Dad, let me go.”

Hyunjin saw how he raised his arms, and he flinched, closing his eyes instinctively.

The strike he was waiting for never came.

Instead, he heard his mother’s voice, low and tense, as if she were trying not to scream instead.

“Enough,” she said. “Hyunjin, go.”

Hyunjin opened his eyes to see her standing between them, her hand around his father’s arm, her eyes burning with rage. His father looked at a loss for words, like he didn’t know what was happening, either.

“Mom, I—”

“I said go. Get out of there.”

* * *

“That was…” Changbin tried to find his words after a minute of silence, still processing everything Hyunjin had just told him. “That was fucking brave.”

Hyunjin could only scoff, shaking his head, “It was fucking stupid, that’s what it was.”

As soon as he had left his house, he had realized he had nowhere to go. He couldn’t really count on his friends this time. Although he could be at Seungmin’s or Felix’s after a five-minute walk, he knew not to trust their parents. They were too scared of his father, just as he was. Sure, they’d let him stay the night and sleep it off, but the next morning he’d have two of his father’s men waiting for him at the door, ready to take him back again.

The brave act he’d managed to put on had crumbled in the span of a minute, leaving him scared and alone, standing on the porch of his house like a kid who just got lost in the middle of the town’s fair. The only thing he’d wanted was a hug and a smile, someone telling him everything would be okay, even if it was a lie.

The closest thing he had to that was Changbin. The calm after the storm. The one that always managed to make him feel safe.

“It wasn’t stupid, Hyunjin. You told him the truth, and you stood your ground even when he threatened you. I’d say that’s pretty cool, honestly.”

Hyunjin groaned, hands rubbing his face. He wanted to believe those words, really. He wanted to believe he had done something for himself, for once, instead of fucking everything up like he used to. But it was difficult seeing it as a good thing, when he still didn’t even know the impact of what he’d just lost.

“I don’t know, Bin. What the fuck do I do now? Where do I go? Did he really just… kick me out?”

There was still a part of him hoping. That it would be okay, somehow. That it would pass, and maybe he’d be allowed to return home. Going back wasn’t what he wanted, but he didn’t know anything else. He didn’t know what he was meant to do.

“Your mom hasn’t called you?”

He shook his head again. He’d tried calling her a few times, but it got sent to voicemail. Her last words still ringed in his head, the dangerous tone on her voice one Hyunjin had never heard. There was something else to it, but he couldn’t grasp it.

“Well, you can stay here until you figure things out,” Changbin continued once he realized Hyunjin was getting lost in thought again. “I can take the couch. I really don’t mind.”

The offer didn’t surprise him. He knew him well enough to know how deeply he cared; how selfless he was. He was the one who’d came there, seeking refuge, after all.

Still, Hyunjin hesitated. Changbin had given him so much, but was there really anything he could give him in return? So far, it had only been headaches and problems.

“Or you could just stay the night,” his voice filled the silence again. Changbin couldn’t stay quiet when he was nervous, Hyunjin had learned. “Have you talked to any of your friends? Or do you want to try to go back home?”

After a short while, Hyunjin finally lifted his gaze, “I don’t know. I don’t think so.”

“Then stay.” Changbin repeated. “We’ll figure it out together.”

It sounded like he was asking because he wanted him to stay, instead of simply offering because Hyunjin needed someplace to crash. It was wrong, considering the situation they were in. Hyunjin should be the one begging, swearing it would only be for a couple of days, and Changbin should be the one letting him stay because he was a good friend.

But It wasn't like that.

Hyunjin took a few minutes to answer, trying to wrap his head around the lingering words that hung between them, unsaid. He ended up nodding, muttering a little “Thanks.”

“Just trying to help," Changbin shrugged.

Of course, he’d say that, noble as always. The boy was still sitting sideways, facing Hyunjin, who constantly shifted between looking at him and looking anywhere else.

Something was stirring inside him, and he struggled for a way to let it out.

“No, I mean…” Hyunjin sighed. After all he’d done that night, he felt brave enough to take Changbin’s hand in his. He played with his fingers, staring at them as he tried to re-arrange his thoughts. “I mean, thanks for everything you’ve done for me.”

“I really haven’t done that much.” Changbin sounded confused, and it was almost cute.

But it wasn't true at all. Hyunjin felt like he owed him so much, he couldn't even properly put it into words. It was embarrassing, honestly. What would he say? That he inspired him to do better? That he wanted to make him proud? It felt stupid and too personal, and though he was certain Changbin wouldn't laugh at him, maybe he would even smile at the fact, he couldn't bring himself to say it.

“You did,” was his quiet reply. It didn't say much, but it hid everything for Hyunjin.

He turned to his right so he could look at Changbin. The boy seemed like he was about to say something, mouth open, but in the end, he decided against it. Perhaps he saw something in Hyunjin's eyes. He was pretty transparent when it came to Changbin, after all.

Bits of their last conversation on the phone came to mind. Changbin had asked him a question, and Hyunjin never answered. "Why didn't you say anything?". It wasn't really that particular question what Changbin wanted to ask, nor what Hyunjin wanted to answer. It was something else, something more intimate. "Do you feel this way too?".

And Hyunjin did. Hyunjin obviously did.

He could say it out loud. Changbin looked like he was waiting for him to do it, to speak again, say something. And if this was the night he had decided to stop being a coward, he should be fully committed to it, he though.

Hyunjin pushed himself up until he was on his knees, shifting his body towards the other boy. He still hadn't let go of Changbin's hand when he pressed their lips together.

Maybe he used too much force, desperate after so much time of wanting. It took Changbin a few seconds to react, parting his lips softly to invite him in. Hyunjin tilted his head to the side, searching for a better angle, his other hand resting now on Changbin's cheek. There wasn't anything on his mind, except the fact that the boy tasted exactly as he remembered it.

It was over before he realized it.

Changbin's hand on his wrist pulled his arm down. He had an indecipherable expression on his face.

"Let's just go to sleep."

"What?"

Changbin's words weren't what Hyunjin was expecting. At all.

"You're tired, and you need to rest," he put it simply, as if it was obvious. Yet, Hyunjin saw a tinge of sadness in his eyes that wasn't there before. "I'll change the bedsheets, and I'll get some clothes for you—"

"What are you talking about?" Hyunjin furrowed his brows. He really wasn’t following.

There was a pause in which Changbin stared at him silently, the wheels of his brain turning audibly.

"Look," he started, "you don't have to do this. You don't owe me anything, Hyunjin. I'm just doing this because... because I care about you. And I know you're probably not thinking straight right now, so..."

"So what?" Hyunjin pressed. "You think I'm doing this as some kind of... payment? That's fucked up, Bin."

"Well, I don't fucking now," Changbin raised his voice a bit, the frustration clear on his face. "I don't know what to think about us because you never tell me. And maybe now's not the right moment to do it, you know? You've just had a huge fight with your dad, you don't know if he kicked you out of your house. You're not on your right mind, Hyunjin."

"I like you, Bin. I really do." The words left his lips easily, not like they had been closed under a hundred locks for the past few weeks. "And I'm sorry for not saying it sooner, but I didn't see the point in it. I didn't want to hurt you, or myself. And now I just... I don't care about what happens. I mean, I do care, obviously, but I want to be honest, for once. I owe you that, at least. Maybe you're right and I'm just being a fucking idiot, but I swear I’m not kissing you just because you’re letting me stay here. I'm sorry if that’s what—"

"I like you too, Hyunjin."

That made Hyunjin’s heart skip a beat.

It's not like he didn't know. The signs were there, and he wasn't that much of a fool. Still, the confirmation sent his head spinning, butterflies flying in his stomach, his hands shaking in Changbin’s grasp. He felt himself smiling.

“Then what are you waiting for?”

“Huh?”

"Just kiss me."

It was the slowest second of his life.

Changbin cupped his face and did as he was told. He kissed Hyunjin, and he kissed him hard. He pressed onto him, almost throwing him backwards on the couch. Hyunjin was waiting for it, though, and he pressed forwards, trying to keep them steady.

There was no hesitation this time, but a certain kind of hunger that arose in them both as they pushed and pulled. Changbin licked Hyunjin's mouth open, sending shivers down his spine. It was familiar, and at the same time, completely new.

Hyunjin's hands, now free, held onto Changbin's shoulders for support as he climbed on his lap. Changbin moved at the same time so his back was resting against the couch, and when Hyunjin finally sat down, it elicited a moan from the boy that he gladly swallowed.

It didn't take long for Changbin to start exploring, warm hands beneath his t-shirt tracing patterns along his skin and setting it ablaze. Soon enough, warmth turned to heat. Hyunjin took his top off in one swift motion, tugging at the hem of Changbin's to get rid of it too.

His mouth went directly to the snakes on his collarbones, peppering the soft skin there with love bites and kisses, leaving a trail of them towards Changbin's neck and jaw. The sounds that left Changbin's parted lips were beautiful, and though Hyunjin felt like he was going insane because of them, he wanted nothing more than to make them louder.

Changbin searched for his mouth again after a while, impatient and almost desperate, and Hyunjin had to leave his marks half-done. He would return to them later anyway, to trace them and finish them properly just so he could admire them the next day. This time, Changbin's hips bucked up as he kissed him, and it lit a fire in the deepest pits of Hyunjin's loins.

He had to force himself to stop, catch his breath. With his head slightly cast down, his hair was getting everywhere, sticking to his lips and forehead. Changbin brushed it backwards, gently, letting his hand stay on the side of his face for a moment. Even though his eyes were darker now, they still looked kind.

Hyunjin felt the impulse of kissing him again, this time softer, slower, as if he was trying to remember every bit of it. The shape of his lips, the way they fit against his own, the feeling of his teeth sinking on the plump and abused skin. Changbin let him do everything he wanted, followed his pace without ever complaining.

When he finally pulled back, it was after peppering his whole face with kisses, unable to stop himself. They stared at each other for a moment, and the tiniest smile formed on Changbin’s lips.

"What?" Hyunjin asked, suddenly feeling shy.

"Nothing," Changbin shrugged. "Just looking at you."

"If you say something corny like how I beautiful I look or some shit like that, I will hit you."

Changbin laughed at that, loudly, making Hyunjin's heart feel full and happy. "I'll just think about it, then."

"Idiot." Hyunjin rolled his eyes at him, but he couldn’t help to smile, too.

Changbin closed the distance between them, leaving a couple more kisses alongside the corners of his lips, whispering against them, "Bedroom?"

Hyunjin nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhhhhhhhhhhh 😶 so that happened...
> 
> this week's going to be a busy one, so i don't know if i'll be able to finish next chapter on time :( probably not, cause i barely managed to finish this one today, i'm sorry :( luckily christmas is coming soon and i'll have more time then! there's not that many chapters left tho 🤧 like? 2 or 3?
> 
> talking about christmas... [vic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshyun) and i have been planning a skz socmed for a while now!!! it's a secret santa au, but there's so much more to it, and i swear it's hilarious. you can check out our twt acc for some sneak peeks ([@skzcleaus](https://twitter.com/skzcleaus)), and we'll start posting on the 23rd. if you guys want to read it... then that'd be nice 🥺
> 
> thanks <3
> 
> [twt](https://twitter.com/noirxses)


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> > "Are you still sleeping?" Changbin's voice came after a couple of minutes, low and raspy from not being used. It was a new sound from him, and Hyunjin thought he wouldn’t mind waking up to it every morning.
>> 
>> "No," Hyunjin muttered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: good thing christmas break is coming i'll have more time for writing!!  
> me, realizing **_christmas_** is coming, so i have to spend time with my family: _oh_
> 
> i'm sorry for the delay! narration part is unbetaed as always, pls forgive my typos and mistakes!!
> 
> enjoy <3

Hyunjin woke up to a pair of soft brown eyes staring intently at him, barely an inch apart from his own. He could feel Changbin's breath on the skin of his face, warm and tickly, causing him to scrunch up his nose as he blinked a few times, trying to get rid of the remnants of sleep that still clouded his head.

His eyes felt puffy and bloated, as expected after two straight hours of crying, and he groaned internally. Waking up to a toad-looking Hyunjin probably wasn’t what Changbin was expecting that morning. He closed them again, relaxed his expression, like that would eliminate the previous image from Changbin’s mind.

Changbin’s bed was small, leaving almost no room for movement nor space between their bodies. Their legs were intertwined, the sheets tangled between them, and Changbin’s arm was still resting underneath Hyunjin’s neck, a product of them falling asleep while cuddling. He couldn’t remember a time he had given in to sleep that quickly, his mind drifting off even when Changbin was still peppering his shoulders with kisses.

Though the idea seemed perfect last night, it was now too warm and stuffy between them. Hyunjin gave thanks they were too lazy to put their clothes back on, only reaching for their underwear before falling back into each other’s embrace. His body had always been overly sensitive to temperature, always too hot, then too cold, then too hot again. He tried his best to ignore it, not wanting to disturb their peace.

"Are you still sleeping?" Changbin's voice came after a couple of minutes, low and raspy from not being used. It was a new sound from him, and Hyunjin thought he wouldn’t mind waking up to it every morning.

"No," Hyunjin muttered.

"Can I take my arm out? It's been dead for like, an hour. It's so fucking uncomfortable."

Hyunjin opened his eyes then, propping himself up to a sitting position before slapping Changbin’s arm, which was now being ungracefully picked up by his owner. The boy winced with a little " _ouch_ ", massaging his muscles slightly to try and bring them to life again.

"Way to ruin our first morning," Hyunjin’s lips unintentionally formed a pout that he threw directly at Changbin, along with a glare.

The boy didn’t seem to notice, too busy flexing his arm up and down, a frown on his face as if that task required his utmost attention and concentration. "Well, technically, it's not our first morning together, you know,” he said absentmindedly.

Hyunjin just glanced away, aware that whatever he said right now would have no effect on Changbin. The boy was incapable of doing two things at the same time.

He thought about picking up his phone in the meantime, check his messages and calls, but hesitated. He wasn’t sure what he was going to be met with. A few calls from his mom, he supposed. His friends had probably found out too, no secret lasting that much between their families. But had his father tried to call him?

There was a certain comfort in not knowing, a newfound freedom. He was just a boy, giddy and happy after waking up next to the boy he’d liked for so long. He didn’t want to ruin it, not just yet, and if it was selfish of him, having the people he loved be worried about him for a little longer, he didn’t care. All he wanted to do was crawl up against Changbin and forget about everything else.

"I'm starting to think I might like that first morning after all. Your bed was way nicer,” Changbin had finally shifted his attention back to Hyunjin and was now propped up on his right elbow, looking up at him with a stupid smile plastered on his stupidly round face. It was both endearing and infuriating, honestly.

"Tell me about it,” Hyunjin scoffed. “You're like a fucking heater, did you know that? I’m practically sweating because of you."

He wasn’t, and they both knew that.

"Are you saying I'm hot?" Changbin’s smile turned into a smirk, right eyebrow raised cockily.

Hyunjin grimaced, "You wish."

That made Changbin laugh, throwing his head backwards. "Come here," he said as he grabbed his wrist and pulled the boy towards him. Hyunjin had no desire to reject him, though he still slapped Changbin’s hand away from him before giving in.

They lied down again, Changbin shifting so he was resting on his side and Hyunjin copying him. They stared at each other, Changbin’s eyes looking at him so lovingly it was almost painful. What did he ever do to deserve someone so nice?

“Morning,” there was that low voice again, and a hand tucking stray strands of hair behind his ear before staying on his cheek.

“Morning,” Hyunjin murmured back, leaning a little against Changbin’s warm touch.

“Did you sleep well?”

Hyunjin shrugged, “Could’ve been better. You were glued to me the whole night.”

“You were the one who insisted on cuddling,” Changbin said with a low chuckle.

“I only _suggested_ it,” Hyunjin replied defensively.

This time, the boy laughed quietly. He approached Hyunjin naturally, like he’d done it a thousand times already, gently bumping their noses together before tilting his head and finding his lips. “Sure,” he muttered against them.

It was just a couple of soft pecks, Hyunjin recoiling before it could escalate.

“Morning breath,” he said, grimacing slightly.

“I don’t care,” Changbin moved closer again, only to be met with Hyunjin’s hand against his chest, stopping his advances.

“That’s great, but I do.”

“C’mon, Hyunjin.” Changbin’s lips formed a pout, a wonder rarely seen. “I need my good morning kiss, so I know last night wasn’t just a fever dream.”

“Idiot.” But his eyes were crinkling at the silly comment.

“Please?”

He thought about it for a second, if only because he enjoyed playing hard to get and watching Changbin suffer. Of course he wanted to kiss him again. He couldn’t think of a single moment in which he hadn’t want to kiss him, honestly.

“Ugh, okay, fine. But no tongue. Got it?”

Changbin’s face beamed with a smile, and he nodded. “Got it.”

Hyunjin’s hand crawled from Changbin’s chest to his neck, moving forward until their lips met again. It was lazy, and sluggish, but perfect, nonetheless. Soft and tentative pecks, totally different from last night’s hungry and desperate ones, shared at a pace that was infuriatingly slow, yet Hyunjin didn’t mind at all. He preferred it that way, he thought. It allowed him to relish on how perfect it felt, bodies close together, legs tangled again, hands exploring skin and leaving goosebumps behind its trail.

He loved it.

He could’ve stayed like that all morning. Nipping at Changbin’s jaw, kissing the love bites and marks from yesterday, already an ugly deep purple color.

It was kind of embarrassing, to leave hickeys on each other’s neck like they were teenagers, but he couldn’t say he didn’t like it. It made him feel wanted, and loved, and it kinda drove him crazy when he thought that _he_ had done _that_. He was the one responsible for the mess that was Changbin. Not just his neck, but the scratches on his back and the marks on his thighs too.

Maybe it was the memories from last night making him go faster, but Hyunjin’s tongue darted out unconsciously, trying to lick Changbin’s mouth open. The boy, however, broke into a smile, stopping them altogether.

“What?” Hyunjin asked, confused. He inched away, trying to get a full shot of Changbin’s face instead of just his nose.

“Nothing. You’re just cute.” He left a tiny peck on his mouth, but nothing more. “Are you hungry? Wanna get breakfast?”

The mood change made him frown. “I don’t want to get out of bed. It’s cold,” he whined. “Can we just cuddle?”

“I thought you said I was too hot,” Changbin said with a smug grin on his.

“Shut up and do it.”

“Fine, princess,” Changbin chuckled.

The boy turned until he was resting on his back, taking Hyunjin along with him by snaking an arm around his shoulders. They twisted around until they found a comfortable position, Hyunjin’s head tucked underneath Changbin’s chin, sheets pulled up and covering half his face. It was warm, and it had the younger boy smiling slightly. Soon, his fingertips found the ink on Changbin’s collarbones, and started to follow along the dark lines of the drawing.

“I like them,” he said after a moment.

“You said that yesterday. Many times, actually.”

He didn’t have a witty retort for this. It was mostly true.

The tattoo only peeked out occasionally, whenever Changbin wore v-necks, and even then, it was just a glimpse. Curved scaled body and sharp fangs, two identical mirrored snakes on his collarbones.

Hyunjin remembered them from their first night together, probably asked about their meaning on his drunken state, but after that it was just the unconscious teasing of their owner. His enthusiasm seeing the full shot of them again, this time properly, showed on how bruised the skin there was.

“I just like them a lot, I guess,” he said on a low voice.

“Do you like them more than you like me?” Changbin asked jokingly.

Hyunjin didn’t respond, though, and Changbin didn’t push him.

It was silent for a while. Changbin’s fingers traced patterns up and down Hyunjin’s arm, as Hyunjin’s did on the other boy’s chest and stomach.

When he felt like he was about to fall asleep again, Changbin spoke. “Hey,” he squeezed his shoulder slightly, calling for his attention. “Are you okay?”

“Mmh?” Hyunjin stretched his neck, glancing upwards. “What do you mean?”

He knew exactly what he meant, but he’d been too content ignoring the situation.

“Did your mom call you? Or your friends?”

Hyunjin sighed, slumping his head back down on Changbin’s chest. “I don’t know. I haven’t checked my phone.”

“Oh.”

He sensed there was more coming, maybe Changbin trying to cheer him up, or ensuring him everything would be fine. Hyunjin wasn’t so sure about that, and though he appreciated the gesture, he had an entirely different concern running through his mind.

“Can we talk about something else?” He said before the older boy could speak again.

“Sure.” He felt him shrugging. “What do you want to talk about?”

Hyunjin took a moment, wondering if he really wanted to say what came next.

“Us?”

There was a pause. Hyunjin stood right here he was, not daring to look upwards.

“Okay.” Changbin finally replied, hesitant. “What about us?”

“I just…” The words died on its own. He realized he didn’t know where to start, or what he even wanted to say.

He tried again. “I like you.”

“You also said that yesterday. Before we, you know,” Changbin paused. “Had sex.”

“No, I mean…” Hyunjin closed his eyes for a second, grunting in frustration. He pushed himself up to a sitting position, looking at the older boy. “I mean, I like you a lot.”

“Okay…?” Changbin said, confused. He got up too, his back resting against the bed’s headboard.

“I mean…” Hyunjin started again. “I don’t know, I feel like I rushed things yesterday? Like, I told you I liked you, but it’s not… It’s not just that, Bin. I’ve liked you since… God, I don’t know when it started, but it’s been a while. And I’ve tried to ignore it for obvious reasons, but yesterday… Well, that’s not how I wanted to tell you, honestly. You were right, I was kind of a mess, and I’m sorry. I don’t want you to think it’s something physical, or that I had sex with you because you’re nice to me. You’re much more than that, Bin. You’re…” he sighed. “You’re just one of the greatest people I know, honestly. You’re so hardworking, and generous, and kind. You have like, an infinite patience. I don’t even know how you put up with me,” Hyunjin smiled a little, biting his lower lip. “You’re funny, sometimes. And I…” he felt his stomach twisting, the nerves eating him up. “I really like being with you.”

Changbin didn’t say anything, just held his gaze for a moment. He seemed lost in thought, like he was processing what Hyunjin had just said.

“Mmmh,” Changbin hummed. “So you don’t think I’m hot?”

“Of course I think you’re hot, Bin.” Hyunjin rolled his eyes at him, but he felt himself smiling despite it all. “That’s not the point here, though.”

“Sorry, sorry.” Changbin said with a small smile. He took a deep breath before continuing. “Look, Jin, I know last night was not… the best moment for you. Maybe I should’ve tried to stop you but… I guess I just didn’t have it in me.” There was another pause, and Hyunjin. “I think about you every fucking minute, Jin. I worry about you, what you’re doing, if you’re happy or you’re feeling sad, if you need me or you don’t. Maybe I had a reason to pretend before, because I was trying to protect myself, but now… Now I just don’t care. I don’t care if you leave or not. Whatever happens, I want to be with you. Because I really like you a lot, too.”

Even though he’d heard those exact same words yesterday, his heart skipped a beat.

“I’m not leaving. I’m not.” Hyunjin stated.

Neither of them knew if that was true or not. They didn’t know what was going to happen next.

Still, as Changbin intertwined their hands together and Hyunjin moved forward to kiss him, they smiled.

* * *

**_Saturday, 01:00_ **

**minho is catboy**

**seungminnie:** **@hyunjin** how did it go with your mom?

 **jeonginnie:** you haven’t told us anything

 **jeonginnie:** i can’t go to sleep like this

 **jeonginnie:** i need to Know

 **cutie lix:** maybe they’re busy celebrating!!!

 **minho:** or maybe he’s dead

 **seungminnie:** he’s not dead shut up

 **minho:** how do you know

 **minho:** are you with him rn

 **seungminnie:** obviously not

 **minho:** then…

 **minho:** we’ll never know

 **seungminnie:** 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

 **jeonginnie:** ok if he’s dead i’m going to sleep

 **jeonginnie:** my mom’s going to kill me if she finds out im still on my phone 😭

 **cutie lix:** guys don’t say that

 **cutie lix:** i’m sure he’s okay 😄

 **seungminnie:** i bet he went to sleep

 **cutie lix:** yeah probably :(

 **cutie lix:** im going to sleep too!!

 **cutie lix:** good night (*≧ω≦*)

 **seungminnie:** night lix 💖

 **jeonginnie:** good night 😴

 **minho:** night losers

**_Saturday, 09:00_ **

**minho is catboy**

**seungminnie:** okay

 **seungminnie:** what the fuck happened????

 **seungiminnie:** hyunjin are you okay???

 **minho:** what are you talking about

 **cutie lix:** fuck my mom just told me

 **cutie lix:** is this for real????

 **jeonginnie:** we heard it from one of our staff

 **jeonginnie:** uhm??????

 **seungminnie:** my mom just spoke with his mom

 **seungminnie:** so yeah it’s true

 **cutie lix:** fuck

 **cutie lix:** but is hyunjin with her???

 **seungminnie:** no i don’t think so

 **jeonginnie:** then where the fuck is he

 **seugnminnie:** i don’t know i’ve tried calling him but he’s not picking up

 **cutie lix:** **@hyunjin** please say something

 **minho:** can someone explain to me

 **minho:** what the fuck are you talking about?

 **jeonginnie:** you don’t know???

 **minho:** no????

 **seungminnie:** hyunjin’s dad kicked him out of the house

 **seungminnie:** he found out about the audition

 **minho:** what?????????

 **minho:** seriously?

 **minho:** if you guys are shitting me

 **seungminnie:** it’s true

 **minho:** fuck

 **minho:** i’m going to kill that ugly son of a bitch

**_Saturday, 09:30_ **

**3RACHA BOIS**

**ugly (jisung):** hello

 **ugly (jisung):** you might be wondering why the hell i’m awake on these ungodly hours

 **ugly (jisung):** minho’s been calling me nonstop for like an hour

 **ugly (jisung):** he’s freaking out

 **ugly (jisung):** cause apparently pretty boy’s dad kicked him out?

 **ugly (jisung):** changbin do u know anything????

 **bangchan:** felix’s worried sick too

 **bangchan:** and apparently it’s bc of the audition…

 **ugly (jisung):** if you’re gonna say you feel bad

 **ugly (jisung):** don’t

 **ugly (jisung):** you didn’t force him to do anything

 **bangchan:** yes but

 **bangchan:** fuck…

 **bangchan:** they don’t even know where he is

 **bangchan:** :/

 **ugly (jisung):** changbin???????

 **ugly (jisung):** wake up

 **ugly (jisung):** what the fuck are you doing

**_Saturday, 12:00_ **

**minho is catboy**

**hyunjin:** hey guys

 **hyunjin:** sorry for not responding

 **minho:** fuck you

 **minho:** where are you?

 **jeonginnie:** hyunjin!!!!!!!!!

 **cutie lix:** are you okay????

 **seungminnie:** what the hell happened?

 **hyunjin:** i’m okay dw

 **hyunjin:** i’m at changbin’s

 **jeonginnie:** changbin’s???????

 **minho:** i fucking told you to come to mine

 **minho:** if something like this happened

 **hyunjin:** i know but

 **hyunjin:** he knows you min

 **hyunjin:** he would’ve sent someone eventually

 **minho:** i told you a thousand times

 **minho:** i don’t fucking care about that

 **minho:** u idiot

 **seungminnie:** maybe calm down a little?

 **minho:** fuck

 **minho:** i’m sorry

 **minho:** i’m just really fucking pissed

 **hyunjin:** im sorry

 **hyunjin:** really

 **hyunjin:** i was just… avoiding everything i guess

 **cutie lix:** it’s okay :(

 **cutie lix:** it’s just that we didn’t know what happened

 **cutie lix:** my mom didn’t really tell me much…

 **seungminnie:** yeah mine either

 **jeonginnie:** we didn’t know where you were :(

 **hyunjin:** did my mom really call yours? **@seungminnie**

 **seungminnie:** yes

 **hyunjin:** did she tell her what happened?

 **seungminnie:** not really?

 **seungminnie:** just that something happened yesterday

 **seungminnie:** and she thought maybe you’d be here

 **hyunjin:** fuck

 **minho:** so

 **minho:** what happened?

**_Saturday, 12:15_ **

**3RACHA BOIS**

**ugly (jisung):** ok no need to panic

 **ugly (jisung):** hyunjin is at changbin’s

 **bangchan:** i know

 **bangchan:** i’m with lix rn

 **bangchan:** i’m kinda. reading their conversation

 **bangchan** : pls don’t tell them

 **ugly (jisung):** bitch

 **ugly (jisung):** i had to wait for a whole 15 minutes before minho replied to my texts

 **ugly (jisung):** how’s lix?

 **bangchan:** sorry

 **bangchan:** he was pretty shaken up :(

 **bangchan:** but he’s calmed down now

 **ugly (jisung):** :(

 **ugly (jisung):** also **@changbin** wtf dude

 **ugly (jisung):** u could’ve told us 🙄

 **changbin:** sorry

 **ugly (jisung):** omg you’re reading this?

 **ugly (jisung):** then reply 😩😩😩😩

 **ugly (jisung):** is pretty boy okay?????

 **bangchan:** yeah what happened?

 **changbin:** i’m sorry

 **ugly (jisung):** you already said that

 **ugly (jisung):** and i’m not forgiving u until u tell us what happened

 **changbin:** hyunjin came yesterday

 **changbin:** at like 1am

 **changbin:** he was a fucking mess

 **ugly (jisung):** 😢😢😢

 **bangchan:** but is he okay?

 **bangchan:** do you know what happened?

 **changbin:** yeah

**_Saturday, 12:15_ **

**minho is catboy**

**minho:** i swear to god

 **minho:** i’m gonna kill him

 **minho:** fucking asshole

 **minho:** you’re better off out of that house anyway

 **jeonginnie:** yeah… he’s a dick :/

 **cutie lix:** how could he even do that

 **cutie lix:** i’m so sorry :(

 **seungminnie:** have you talked with your mom?

 **seungminnie:** do you know what you’re going to do?

 **hyunjin:** honestly

 **hyunjin:** i don’t know

 **hyunjin:** changbin’s letting me stay here for the moment

 **hyunjin:** but it can’t be indefinitely

 **hyunjin:** and my mom isn’t picking up

 **hyunjin:** i have like 20 missed calls from her

 **hyunjin:** but now it just goes straight to voicemail

 **hyunjin:** fuck

 **hyunjin:** should i go back?

 **hyunjin:** talk to my dad?

 **minho:** fuck him

 **seungminnie:** definitely not

 **seungminnie:** maybe wait until you speak with your mom?

 **seungminnie:** she sounded pretty worried

 **hyunjin:** what did she say exactly?

 **seungminnie:** not much

 **seungminnie:** i think she just wanted to know where you were staying

 **seungminnie:** she didn’t get into much detail

 **hyunjin:** i just

 **hyunjin:** i don’t get it

 **hyunjin:** but i don’t want my dad doing anything to her

 **hyunjin:** because of me

 **cutie lix:** i’m sure she’s fine :(

 **seungminnie:** she knows how to handle him

 **jeonginnie:** maybe she’s trying to convince him to let you stay

**hyunjin:** idk

 **hyunjin:** i’ll try calling her again later

 **hyunjin:** thanks guys :(

 **hyunjin:** and i’m sorry

 **hyunjin:** for everything

 **cutie lix:** we’re just glad you’re okay

 **jeonginnie:** yeah :(

 **jeonginnie:** it was

 **jeonginnie:** kinda scary

**seungminnie:** do you need anything?

 **seungminnie:** like idk

 **seungminnie:** clothes and all that

 **seungminnie:** because i’m assuming you’re staying there right?

 **jeonginnie:** i can lend u my switch

 **jeonginnie:** so you don’t get bored

 **hyunjin:** i think im staying yeah

 **hyunjin:** at least for the time being

 **hyunjin** : but it’s okay

 **hyunjin:** i don’t think i’m gonna go out anyway

 **hyunjin:** i’ll borrow changbin’s

 **hyunjin:** and buy whatever else i need

 **minho:** do you even have money

 **hyunjin:** uhm

 **hyunjin:** i don’t know

 **hyunjin:** i’ll have to see if my card still works

 **hyunjin:** fuck

 **hyunjin:** i’ll figure something out

 **minho:** 🙄

 **minho:** do you want us to come over?

 **hyunjin:** oh

 **hyunjin:** thanks but

 **hyunjin:** i don’t think i’m in the mood for anything

 **hyunjin:** honestly i just want to talk to my mom

 **minho:** fine

 **minho:** if anything happens

 **minho:** just call us okay?

**hyunjin:** will do

 **hyunjin:** ly guys

**_Saturday, 12:45_ **

**3RACHA BOIS**

**bangchan:** his dad sounds like a real prick

 **ugly (jisung):** fuck

 **ugly (jisung):** that’s so messed up…

 **ugly (jisung):** pretty boy you’re too pretty to be suffering like this 😩

 **changbin:** i know :/

 **changbin:** i mean the everything being messed up

 **changbin:** not the pretty boy thing 🙄

 **ugly (jisung):** sure

 **ugly (jisung):** can i ask

 **ugly (jisung):** one question tho

 **changbin:** yeah

 **ugly (jisung):** what the hell did you guys do all night

 **ugly (jisung):** until now

 **ugly (jisung):** you didn’t even look at your phones?????

 **changbin:** well

 **changbin:** we

 **changbin:** talked

 **ugly (jisung):** talked???

 **ugly (jisung):** about what

**changbin:**

**changbin:** we talked about what happened

 **changbin:** mostly

 **ugly (jisung):** mostly???????

 **ugly (jisung):** was there

 **ugly (jisung):** any kissing

 **ugly (jisung):** involved? 👀

 **changbin:** jisung

 **changbin:** please shut up

 **ugly (jisung):** someone’s sensitive today 🙄

 **ugly (jisung):** fine whatever

 **bangchan:** i don’t think we can do much to help

 **bangchan** : but if you guys need anything

 **bangchan:** just ask

 **changbin:** thanks chan

 **changbin:** actually

 **changbin:** i do need a favor

 **bangchan:** yeah sure

 **ugly (jisung):** omg sure ofc he can stay with me

 **ugly (jisung):** your bed is way too small for him

 **ugly (jisung):** and your couch sucks

 **changbin:** he’s not staying with you

 **changbin:** and it’s not about that

 **changbin:** i have an afternoon shift today

 **changbin:** i could call in sick but hyunjin insists i don’t

 **changbin:** he says he’ll just stay home

 **changbin:** but

 **changbin:** i think he’d like seeing his friends?

 **changbin:** maybe that’d cheer him up a little

 **changbin:** so if u guys want…

 **changbin:** well you know where i live

 **ugly (jisung):** OMG

 **ugly (jisung):** YES I’LL GO

 **ugly (jisung):** FINALLY MY CHANCE TO BE PRETTY BOY’S BESTFRIEND!!!!!!

 **changbin:** i meant your boyfriend

 **changbin:** you’re not allowed to enter my house

 **changbin:** remember?

 **ugly (jisung):** 😔😔😔😔😔😔

 **ugly (jisung):** what did i ever do to you

 **ugly (jisung):** chan say something

 **ugly (jisung):** he’s being rude today

 **ugly (jisung):** and i just want to help

 **bangchan:** it’s ok ji

 **bangchan:** but you know

 **bangchan:** maybe now’s not the best time to be thinking about befriending hyunjin

 **ugly (jisung):** 😩

 **ugly (jisung):** i just want to be a good brother-in-law

 **bangchan:** i’ll talk to lix

 **bangchan:** see what we can arrange

 **changbin:** thanks <3

**_Saturday, 17:30_ **

****

**binnie:** hey babe

 **binnie:** how are you?

 **hyunjin:** hello

 **hyunjin:** it’s been less than an hour

 **hyunjin:** i’m still fine

 **hyunjin:** you don’t have to keep checking up on me u know

 **binnie:** i know

 **binnie:** i’m just worried

 **hyunjin:** i know

 **hyunjin:** but i’m okay really

 **hyunjin:** and i managed to not break anything

 **binnie** : that’s great babe

 **binnie:** i’m proud of you

 **hyunjin:** please stop calling me babe 😳

 **binnie:** oh

 **binnie:** sorry

 **binnie:** you don’t like it?

 **hyunjin:** i like it

 **hyunjin:** a lot

 **hyunjin:** but it just makes me miss u

 **binnie:** oh

 **binnie:** okay

 **binnie:** babe

 **hyunjin:** dfjjdgfg silly

 **binnie:** 😊😊😊

 **binnie:** did you get through to your mom?

 **hyunjin:** actually

 **hyunjin:** yeah

 **hyunjin:** we talked for a bit

 **binnie:** oh????

 **binnie** : what did she say?

 **hyunjin:** not much?

 **hyunjin** : it was weird

 **hyunjin:** she asked if i was okay

 **hyunjin:** where i was staying

 **hyunjin:** and then she just told me to meet her tomorrow

 **hyunjin:** she said she needed to take care of some stuff today

 **binnie:** huh

 **binnie:** stuff about your dad or something?

 **hyunjin:** idk

 **hyunjin:** i asked about my dad but she didn’t tell me anything

 **hyunjin:** 😕😕😕

 **binnie:** i see

 **binnie:** well i’m sure she’ll tell u everything tomorrow

 **binnie:** but at least you finally reached her

 **binnie:** you feeling better?

 **hyunjin:** idk

 **hyunjin:** i was scared she’d be mad

 **hyunjin:** or maybe something had happened to her

 **hyunjin:** but now i don’t know what to think

 **binnie:** i guess she’s trying to appease your dad

 **binnie:** don’t stress too much about it

 **binnie:** there’s nothing you can do now

 **hyunjin:** 😪

 **hyunjin:** i guess

 **hyunjin:** hey

 **hyunjin:** can i use your laptop?

 **binnie:** sure

 **binnie:** but don’t look through the 3racha folder on the desktop

 **binnie:** that’s top secret content

 **hyunjin:** omg

 **hyunjin:** is there some love song about me?

 **binnie:** just

 **binnie:** don’t look

 **hyunjin:** THERE IS

 **binnie:** i’m not telling u

 **binnie:** but if there was

 **binnie:** it’s not finished

 **hyunjin:** oh my god

 **hyunjin:** and you laughed at chan 😩

 **hyunjin:** you’re so whipped…

 **hyunjin:** it’s really cute

 **binnie:** 😔😔😔

 **binnie:** i have feelings too okay

 **hyunjin:** mmm are u expecting a package or something?

 **binnie:** no

 **binnie:** why?

 **hyunjin:** someone just rang the doorbell

 **hyunjin:** wait

 **binnie:** weird

 **binnie:** 😶

 **hyunjin:** why is jisung stomping through your door

 **hyunjin:** saying you invited him

 **hyunjin:** 😭😭😭😭

 **binnie:** what

 **binnie:** is he alone????

 **hyunjin:** no minho’s with him

 **hyunjin:** what’s this 😭😭😭😭

 **hyunjin:** oh

 **hyunjin:** dgdfkgfkgfh

 **binnie:** ????

 **binnie:** what

 **binnie:** i just wanted u to have fun 😔

**_Saturday, 17:45_**

**3RACHA BOIS**

**ugly (jisung):** SEO CHANGBIN

 **ugly (jisung):** YOU LITTLE BITCH

 **ugly (jisung):** YOU LIAR

 **ugly (jisung):** YOU

 **ugly (jisung):** you…

 **ugly (jisung):** you f*cked last night didn’t you

 **bangchan:** what

 **changbin:** 😶

 **ugly (jisung):** hyunjin’s neck looks like fucking edward cullen paid him a visit last night

 **bangchan:** WHAT?????

 **ugly (jisung):** i mean

 **ugly (jisung):** hickeys chan

 **ugly (jisung):** LOTS of hickeys

 **bangchan:** oh

 **bangchan:** oh okay

 **bangchan:** i’m not surprised?

 **ugly (jisung):** HE SAID THERE WAS NO KISSING

 **changbin:** i didn’t say that

 **changbin:** and btw

 **changbin:** what the fuck are you doing there

 **ugly (jisung):** minho wanted me to come along 😤

 **ugly (jisung):** don’t worry it’s not just us

 **ugly (jisung):** chan and lix are coming

 **ugly (jisung):** and the little ones too

 **bangchan:** yup we’re on our way

 **changbin:** okay that’s. a lot of people

 **changbin:** my place isn’t even that big

 **changbin:** but whatever

 **changbin:** don’t break anything

 **changbin:** and do NOT puke on my carpet

 **changbin:** **@ugly (jisung)**

 **ugly (jisung):** that was ONCE

 **ugly (jisung):** get over it

 **bangchan:** to be fair you puked that night too bin

 **changbin:** but i had the decency to do it on the toilet

 **bangchan:** true

 **changbin:** chan when you get there

 **changbin:** please make sure jisung stays away from my boyfriend

 **ugly (jisung):** YOUR WHAT????????????

 **ugly (jisung):** OH MY GOD I HATE YOU SO MUCH

 **bangchan:** i can’t promise you anything…

**_Saturday, 17:50_ **

**minho is catboy**

**minho:** [pic attached]

 **jeonginnie:** what the fuck is THAT

 **seungminnie:** ew

 **minho:** hyunjin’s neck 😶

 **seungminnie:** EWWWWWWWW

 **cutie lix:** oh wow

 **cutie lix:** it looks painful

 **hyunjin:** DELETE THAT

 **hyunjin:** BITCH

 **minho:** are you calling Me a bitch?

 **hyunjin:** no 🤐

 **hyunjin:** but

 **hyunjin:** please 😩

 **jeonginnie:** what did you do last night

 **jeonginnie:** i thought you were too sad to think about anything else

 **jeonginnie:** 😤😤😤

 **hyunjin:** just. Adult Stuff

 **hyunjin:** you wouldn’t understand

 **seungminnie:** so you fucked

 **hyunjin:** JDSFJKHDJKGH SEUGNGUJN

 **seungminnie:** well he made quite the mess

 **seungminnie:** but congrats?

 **cutie lix:** yes im happy for u jin 🥰💖✨

 **hyunjin:** please don’t congratulate me for having sex

 **jeonginnie:** so

 **jeonginnie:** is he

 **jeonginnie:** you know

 **jeonginnie:** your b*yfriend?

 **hyunjin:** i guess 😳

 **jeonginnie:** OMG FINALLY

 **cutie lix:** THAT’S SO CUTE 😊😊😊

 **seungminnie:** 👏👏👏👏👏

 **jeonginnie:** my ship is sailing

 **jeonginnie:** you’re otp

 **jeonginnie:** changjin rise

 **hyunjin:** you need to get off the internet

 **hyunjin:** but

 **hyunjin:** thanks

 **seungminnie:** you’re welcome

 **seungminnie:** now open the door

 **hyunjin:** you’re here too??????

 **cutie lix:** 🤭🤭🤭🤭

**_Saturday, 19:00_ **

****

**hyunnie:** hey

 **hyunnie** : thanks for inviting them

 **hyunnie:** <3

 **changbin:** <3

 **changbin:** i just thought you’d be lonely…

 **changbin:** is jisung being too much of a bother?

 **hyunnie:** no he’s great

 **hyunnie:** he’s been showing me pics and vids of you two

 **hyunnie:** when you were younger

 **hyunnie:** you guys were really cute

 **changbin:** i Knew he was going to do that

 **changbin:** tell him to stop

 **hyunnie:** no

 **hyunnie:** i like it

 **changbin:** 😩

 **hyunnie:** i miss you tho

 **hyunnie:** i wish you were here :(

 **changbin:** fuck

 **changbin:** i want to get out of here as soon as possible :(

 **hyunnie:** it’s okay

 **hyunnie:** we’ll wait for u

 **hyunnie:** 💖

 **changbin:** 💘

* * *

**_Sunday, 13:00_ **

**minho is catboy**

**seungminnie:** so?

 **seungminnie:** how did it go?

 **cutie lix:** did she talk to your dad?

 **hyunjin:** mmh

 **hyunjin:** yes she did

 **minho:** and?

 **minho:** is he still being a dick?

 **hyunjin:** kinda?

 **hyunjin:** yeah

 **jeonginnie:** he still wants you to go to boston?

 **hyunjin:** no it’s not about that

 **hyunjin:** i’m not going to boston

 **hyunjin:** that’s for sure

 **jeonginnie:** oh??

 **cutie lix:** that’s great then????

 **hyunjin:** uhm

 **hyunjin:** yes

 **hyunjin:** the thing is

 **hyunjin:** well

 **hyunjin:** apparently

 **hyunjin:** my mom’s divorcing my dad?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk... it's been getting harder and harder to write recently... i'm sorry :( i think i just hate endings and my brain is like well they already kissed we don't need the rest of it but. we do!!!! i'm trying my best to give you guys a nice ending i swear
> 
> [twt](https://twitter.com/noirxses)


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> > **seungminnie:** what?
>> 
>> **jeonginnie:** what???????
>> 
>> **cutie lix:** seriously?
>> 
>> **minho:** i hope this isn’t a joke

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks to everyone who's reading this, thanks to everyone who left kudos or commented this story, ily <3
> 
> happy 2021!

**_Sunday, 13:00_ **

**minho is catboy**

**hyunjin:** the thing is

**hyunjin:** well

**hyunjin:** apparently

**hyunjin:** my mom’s divorcing my dad?

**seungminnie:** what?

**jeonginnie:** what???????

**cutie lix:** seriously?

**minho:** i hope this isn’t a joke

**hyunjin:** it’s not

**hyunjin:** i’m serious

**hyunjin:** i also thought it was a joke

**hyunjin:** but it’s not

**seungminnie:** okay…?

**seungminnie:** that’s

**cutie lix:** wow

**seungminnie:** yeah

**minho:** mmmh

**jeonginnie:** what the fuck

**hyunjin:** yeah fuck

**hyunjin:** i’m still

**hyunjin:** trying to process

**seungminnie:** are you still with your mom?

**hyunjin:** no i’m in the car

**hyunjin:** going home

**cutie lix:** home as in…?

**hyunjin:** changbin’s

**hyunjin:** for the moment

**jeonginnie:** for the moment what does that mean

**seungminnie:** okay just

**seungminnie:** tell us what happened?

**hyunjin:** honestly

**hyunjin:** i don’t even fucking know

**hyunjin:** i got there

**hyunjin:** and my mom was all hugs and smiles

**hyunjin:** saying she was really worried

**hyunjin:** and that she was sorry for what happened

**hyunjin:** she asked if i was okay if i was eating well

**hyunjin:** all that stuff

**hyunjin:** she also asked _a lot_ about changbin

**hyunjin:** and when i asked her about my dad

**hyunjin:** suddenly she was all serious

**hyunjin:** and

**hyunjin:** well then she said she was sorry

**hyunjin:** and that she was divorcing him

**cutie lix:** oh…

**jeonginnie:** :(

**minho:** but

**minho:** why?

**hyunjin:** that’s what i said

**hyunjin:** after a whole 10 minutes of my mom repeating she was sorry

**hyunjin:** and

**hyunjin:** she didn’t give many details at first

**hyunjin:** like she said she couldn’t tolerate anymore the way he treated me

**hyunjin:** the way he treated _us_

**hyunjin:** she looked

**hyunjin:** pissed

**hyunjin:** i’ve never seen her like that

**cutie lix:** i’ve never seen your mom get angry

**cutie lix:** she’s always so nice

**jeonginnie:** it sounds scary

**hyunjin:** it was scary

**hyunjin:** cause then she said

**hyunjin:** she’s been planning to do this for a while

**seungminnie:** what???

**minho:** you mean

**minho:** she planned to divorce your father before this happened?

**hyunjin:** apparently?

**hyunjin:** she said she was waiting for me to go to college

**hyunjin:** cause she didn’t want to get me involved

**hyunjin:** but then the other day

**hyunjin:** when my dad

**hyunjin:** almost hit me

**hyunjin:** well

**hyunjin:** she said that was the last straw for her

**cutie lix:** wow

**seungminnie:** what the fuck

**minho:** but she was okay with your dad sending you off to boston???

**minho:** i don’t get it

**hyunjin:** she thought i made up my mind to go

**hyunjin:** that’s why she didn’t push it

**hyunjin:** she assumed some part of me wanted to go i guess

**hyunjin:** i never told her otherwise

**hyunjin:** but i told her i was done with dancing so

**hyunjin:** it’s not her fault

**minho:** i’m not saying it was

**minho:** just that maybe she could’ve done something sooner

**seungminnie:** don’t be a dick

**seungminnie:** this probably wasn’t easy for her

**hyunjin:** it wasn’t

**cutie lix:** :(

**minho:** so that’s it

**minho:** she’s divorcing him bc of the whole boston thing?

**hyunjin:** no

**hyunjin:** that’s not everything

**hyunjin:** there’s a bunch of reasons

**hyunjin:** she’s just

**hyunjin:** tired of him?

**hyunjin:** cause it’s not just me that has to do whatever he wants

**hyunjin:** she’s had to suffer his shitty behavior for years

**hyunjin:** at least he listens to her sometimes

**hyunjin:** but

**hyunjin:** idk

**seungminnie:** i would be tired too honestly

**jeonginnie:** i always thought your mom

**jeonginnie:** loved your dad?

**jeonginnie:** it’s kinda ridiculous if you put it like that

**jeonginnie:** but my mom’s always talking about them like we should look up to them

**jeonginnie:** for having a great marriage and all that

**hyunjin:** that’s just pretending tho

**hyunjin:** they barely talk to each other

**hyunjin:** but it’s not like my dad talks to anyone so idk

**jeonginnie:** wow

**hyunjin:** there’s

**hyunjin:** something else too

**cutie lix:** there’s more??

**seungminnie:** about your dad you mean?

**hyunjin:** about my mom

**hyunjin:** wanting to get rid of him

**hyunjin:** she’s been waiting

**hyunjin:** not just because of me

**hyunjin:** because she’s been

**hyunjin:** like gathering stuff???

**hyunjin:** about my dad??

**jeonginnie:** what

**seungminnie:** what do you mean stuff

**minho:** what kind of stuff

**hyunjin:** like

**hyunjin:** evidence of all his shady business

**hyunjin:** illegal contracts

**hyunjin:** bribes

**hyunjin:** that kind of stuff

**cutie lix:** omg

**seungminnie:** is she going to report him or something??

**jeonginnie:** is your dad going to jail??????

**hyunjin:** no

**hyunjin:** well i don’t think so

**hyunjin:** she says she needed the leverage

**hyunjin:** for the divorce

**hyunjin:** cause it’s the only way my dad would agree

**seungminnie:** wait she’s blackmailing him????

**jeonginnie:** so your dad’s Not going to jail

**minho:** honestly

**minho:** your mom’s fucking awesome

**hyunjin:** yeah

**hyunjin:** they’ve been fighting about who gets what

**hyunjin:** my mom’s trying to get an insanely amount of money from him

**hyunjin:** and i’m just

**hyunjin:** fuck

**hyunjin:** i don’t know what to think

**seungminnie:** well this is

**seungminnie:** quite a fucking lot to process

**seungminnie:** so you can take your time i guess

**cutie lix:** yeah

**cutie lix:** how are you feeling? :(

**hyunjin:** honestly

**hyunjin:** a part of me is really glad?

**hyunjin:** i don’t know if that’s bad

**hyunjin:** but like

**hyunjin:** i kinda don’t want to see my dad ever again so…

**minho:** it’s not a bad thing

**minho:** why would you want to see that jerk again

**minho:** after how he’s treated you

**seungminnie:** uhm yeah

**seungminnie:** i don’t think you should feel bad for that

**hyunjin:** i guess

**hyunjin:** but i’m sad too

**hyunjin:** the way everything turned out…

**hyunjin:** idk :(

**hyunjin:** mostly i just think i feel bad for my mom

**hyunjin:** i know i’m not the only reason she’s doing this

**hyunjin:** but i know it’s hard

**hyunjin:** and she’s taking a lot of shit rn

**hyunjin:** i wish i could help her somehow

**hyunjin:** but i can’t

**cutie lix:** :(

**cutie lix:** she’s your mom jin

**cutie lix:** she just wants you to be safe

**jeonginnie:** and she’s a badass

**jeonginnie:** she doesn’t need your help

**minho:** true

**cutie lix:** don’t say it like that innie 😰

**seungminnie:** there’s nothing you can really do right now

**seungminnie:** and she knows that too

**seungminnie:** just be there for her?

**hyunjin:** i guess…

**hyunjin:** this is

**hyunjin:** so fucked up

**hyunjin:** like i just wanted to stay

**hyunjin:** i didn’t want this mess 😭

**cutie lix:** it’s not your fault!!

**jeonginnie:** yeah

**jeonginnie:** and i mean

**jeonginnie:** you Are staying so…

**seungminnie:** where’s your mom right now tho?

**seungminnie:** cause i suppose your dad’s still home?

**hyunjin:** she’s staying at a hotel in the meantime

**hyunjin:** she said i could stay with her

**hyunjin:** she also brought a few of my things there

**seungminnie:** oh

**seungminnie:** and what did you say?

**_Sunday, 14:00_ **

**binnie:** you know you can stay for as long as you want

**binnie:** i don’t mind

**hyunjin:** i know :(

**hyunjin:** and i kind of

**hyunjin:** want to stay with you

**hyunjin:** but i also want to be with her

**hyunjin:** i don’t know what to do

**hyunjin:** 😭😭😭😭😭😭

**binnie:** i mean

**binnie:** i want to be with you as much as i can

**binnie:** but i also think

**binnie:** that maybe you should go with her?

**binnie:** like she probably needs the support

**binnie:** even if you’re not going to do much

**binnie:** cause it’s something they have to sort out by themselves

**binnie:** but maybe just being by her side is enough?

**hyunjin:** you’re

**hyunjin:** right

**hyunjin:** but

**hyunjin:** :(

**binnie:** but what? :(

**hyunjin:** idk

**hyunjin:** i guess i’m just sad

**hyunjin:** cause when we finally get to be together

**hyunjin:** i have to leave?

**binnie:** you don’t have to leave if you really don’t want to jin

**binnie:** but also

**binnie:** we’re still going to see each other?

**binnie:** every day?

**binnie:** you’re not getting rid of me that easily

**binnie:** and

**binnie:** please don’t take this the wrong way but

**binnie:** maybe living together is not the greatest start for a relationship

**binnie:** you’re gonna end up hating me

**hyunjin:** bin 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

**hyunjin:** so you DO want me to leave

**binnie:** no i didn’t say that

**binnie:** i’m just

**binnie:** trying to think rationally

**hyunjin:** no it’s okay

**hyunjin:** i’ll leave

**hyunjin:** if that’s what you want

**binnie:** i didn’t say that

**hyunjin:** you didn’t have to

**hyunjin:** i got the message

**hyunjin:** 😔😔😔😔

**binnie:** hyunjin

**binnie:** please

**hyunjin:** fine

**hyunjin:** you made some points

**hyunjin:** but :(

**hyunjin:** i like sleeping with you

**binnie:** i mean

**binnie:** i like the sex too

**binnie:** but i thought you had better reasons

**binnie:** i’m always just a body to you aren’t i 😩

**hyunjin:** shut up i didn’t mean that jfhgkjdfgg

**binnie:** so you Don’t like the sex???

**binnie:** well maybe you should audition for acting instead

**binnie:** 😳😳😳😳

**hyunjin:** bin 😭😭😭😭😭

**hyunjin:** i meant

**hyunjin:** i know it’s only been a few days

**hyunjin:** but waking up to you

**hyunjin:** having breakfast together

**hyunjin:** being all… domestic 😳

**hyunjin:** i like that

**hyunjin:** i liked the idea of having more of that

**hyunjin:** we made that longass list of movies to watch 😥

**binnie:** jin

**binnie:** we can still do all of that

**binnie:** neither of us is dying

**hyunjin:** i guess

**hyunjin:** but still

**hyunjin:** 😔

**binnie:** didn’t you say you wanted to help your mom?

**binnie:** she probably wants you there with her :(

**hyunjin:** don’t make me feel bad

**hyunjin:** ofc i want to be with her

**hyunjin:** i just want to be with you too

**binnie:** listen

**binnie:** are you home?

**hyunjin:** yea i got here a while ago

**hyunjin:** i ordered some food

**hyunjin:** cause im sad and being sad makes me hungry

**binnie:** great

**binnie:** then we can talk about it when i get home okay?

**binnie:** my shift just ended

**binnie:** i only have to change my clothes and pick up my things

**hyunjin:** fine 😔

**hyunjin:** don’t be long

**hyunjin:** i need a hug

**binnie:** you’re getting more than that

**binnie:** ❤❤❤❤

* * *

**_Friday, 17:00_ **

**minho is catboy**

**hyunjin:** 8pm at minho’s right?

**cutie lix:** yessss

**jeonginnie:** yup

**minho:** no

**hyunjin:** yes or no

**hyunjin:** 😭😭😭

**cutie lix:** i thought we said 8pm 😰

**minho:** 9pm

**hyunjin:** 9?????

**hyunjin:** that’s so LATE

**hyunjin:** what am i supposed to do until 9

**minho:** idk

**minho:** idc

**minho:** just be here at 9 😘

**seungminnie:** you literally said 8pm yesterday minho

**seungminnie:** the message’s in the gc

**hyunjin:** 😩

**minho:** there’s been a

**minho:** change of plans

**hyunjin:** is jisung there

**minho:** maybe

**hyunjin:** so you’re ditching us

**hyunjin:** bc u want to have sex

**hyunjin:** can’t you do that afterwards?

**minho:** no one said anything about having sex

**minho:** and no i cannot

**minho:** cause my mom’s coming back at 11

**hyunjin:** and????

**minho:** well i can’t eat someone’s dick with my mom right in the other room can i

**minho:** that’s kinda rude

**hyunjin:** god i hate you

**cutie lix:** wait so jisung isn’t staying for movie night?

**cutie lix:** i thought you said he was coming 😥

**minho:** yeah he’s staying

**minho:** i just told him to come a little earlier

**hyunjin:** i’m sure jisung’s coming

**hyunjin:** yeah

**jeonginnie:** ewwwwwwwwwww

**minho:** 🤭

**hyunjin:** 🙄

**hyunjin:** is chan coming too?

**cutie lix:** nooo :((((

**cutie lix:** he said he’s busy

**cutie lix:** sorry

**hyunjin:** aw :(

**hyunjin:** that’s okay

**cutie lix:** bin?

**hyunjin:** his shift ends at 10 so :(

**hyunjin:** he said if he’s not too tired he can come later

**minho:** why is he always working

**minho:** it sounds exhausting

**hyunjin:** i know right 😩

**hyunjin:** don’t know why i decided to stay here

**hyunjin:** if he’s never home

**jeonginnie:** tell him to quit his work

**jeonginnie:** he’s got a rich boyfriend now 😎

**cutie lix:** when are you leaving jin?

**hyunjin:** monday

**hyunjin:** my mom has to meet with her lawyers and she wants me to come with

**hyunjin:** we’ll go back to the hotel from there

**hyunjin:** and i’ll have to sleep alone

**hyunjin:** again

**hyunjin:** 😭😭😭😭

**seungminnie:** i’m sure you’ll be fine

**hyunjin:** no you don’t get it

**hyunjin:** i’m going to die

**jeonginnie:** can we still be friends with changbin if you die?

**jeonginnie:** i like him

**hyunjin:** no you cannot

**jeonginnie:** you’re so selfish 😩

**seungminnie:** i don’t think i can make it tonight guys

**seungminnie:** i have to study

**seungminnie:** sorry

**cutie lix:** minnie :(

**cutie lix:** stop studying so much there’s months left until exams

**seungminnie:** i know but i’m planning on doing those extra assignments too

**seungminnie:** that’ll take time away from studying

**seungminnie:** so

**hyunjin:** cmon you can watch the movie and go straight home

**hyunjin:** it’s going to be like

**hyunjin:** 2 hours?

**hyunjin:** 2 hours won’t hurt you :(

**seungminnie:** sorry 😥

**minho:** it’s okay we know you’re a nerd

**minho:** more pizza for the rest of us i guess

**jeonginnie:** ooooo we’re getting pizza tonight?

**jeonginnie:** fancy

**hyunjin:** real fancy yeah 🙄

**minho:** 9pm babies don’t be late 😘

**_Friday, 17:30_ **

****

**hyunjin:** okay what’s wrong

**seungminnie:** ?

**seungminnie:** what are you talking about

**hyunjin:** i’m talking about you

**hyunjin:** cancelling plans last minute

**hyunjin:** what’s wrong?

**seungminnie:** nothing’s wrong

**seungminnie:** as i said i need to study

**seungminnie:** and prepare those assignments

**seungminnie:** plus 9 is too late for me

**seungminnie:** i have class tomorrow

**hyunjin:** that hasn’t stopped you from coming to movie night before

**hyunjin:** stop making excuses

**seungminnie:** i’m not

**seungminnie:** it’s the truth

**hyunjin:** the truth is you’ve done this four times already

**hyunjin:** saying you’re coming and then cancelling

**hyunjin:** so?

**seungminnie:** so nothing

**seungminnie:** i’m sorry i’m just really busy with classes jin

**hyunjin:** is this about jeongin?

**hyunjin:** have you even spoken to him about what happened?

**seungminnie:** no

**hyunjin:** no what 😩

**seungminnie:** no i haven’t spoken with him

**hyunjin:** okay

**hyunjin:** so it is about him?

**seungminnie:** uhm

**hyunjin:** c’mon minnie

**hyunjin:** you’re always the one giving the speech about communication

**hyunjin:** talking about feelings and all that shit

**hyunjin:** so talk to me

**hyunjin:** i’m sorry i didn’t ask before

**hyunjin:** i had all that shit going on with the audition and then my dad but

**hyunjin:** i thought you made up?

**hyunjin:** jeongin promised me he’d talk to you :(

**seungminnie:** he promised you what now?

**seungminnie:** did you talk with him? about us?

**hyunjin:** uhm

**hyunjin:** hehe

**hyunjin:** maybe?

**seungminnie:** maybe?

**seungminnie:** i specifically told you not to

**hyunjin:** i know but

**hyunjin:** i wanted to help?

**hyunjin:** don’t hate me :(

**seungminnie:** i don’t hate you

**seungminnie:** just

**seungminnie:** ugh

**seungminnie:** what did he say?

**hyunjin:** just…

**hyunjin:** stuff

**hyunjin:** mostly that he didn’t know what to tell you

**hyunjin:** or how to get you to talk to him again

**seungminnie:** 🙄🙄🙄

**seungminnie:** that’s why he’s being extra nice lately

**seungminnie:** he always does that when someone’s angry

**seungminnie:** and i honestly hate how it makes me

**seungminnie:** soft

**hyunjin:** 😳😳😳

**hyunjin:** yeah

**hyunjin:** i get it

**hyunjin:** i can never stay mad at him

**hyunjin:** but seriously i thought you two talked

**hyunjin:** :(

**seungminnie:** we didn’t

**seungminnie:** and i don’t want to see him cause he acts like nothing happened

**seungminnie:** and i know i’ll end up forgiving him

**seungminnie:** and for once i just

**seungminnie:** don’t want to

**seungminnie:** i guess

**hyunjin:** that’s valid

**hyunjin:** but it also sucks

**hyunjin:** cause it means you not coming to literally anything

**hyunjin:** and i want to see you

**hyunjin:** i miss you :(

**seungminnie:** sigh

**seungminnie:** i know

**seungminnie:** it’s not like i can keep doing this eternally

**seungminnie:** but fuck

**seungminnie:** he could at least say something

**seungminnie:** you know

**hyunjin:** i know

**hyunjin:** i’m sorry

**hyunjin:** i could

**hyunjin:** talk to him again

**hyunjin:** if you want?

**seungminnie:** no no

**seungminnie:** you already did more than enough

**seungminnie:** he should be the one feeling bad

**hyunjin:** he _does_ feel bad

**hyunjin:** he’s just never learned how to handle that properly

**seungminnie:** yeah

**seungminnie:** 🙄🙄🙄

**seungminnie:** sorry

**seungminnie:** for dumping all of this on you

**seungminnie:** you have other things to worry about

**hyunjin:** it’s okay min

**hyunjin:** i mean i do have other things in my head rn

**hyunjin:** but i still worry about my friends too

**hyunjin:** you specially <3

**seungminnie:** thanks :(

**seungminnie:** but seriously it’s okay

**seungminnie:** maybe not tonight

**seungminnie:** but i promise to come next time

**hyunjin:** you better!!

**seungminnie:** 🧡

**seungminnie:** wanna talk about the other things in your head?

**hyunjin:** idk

**hyunjin:** divorce stuff

**seungminnie:** i figured

**seungminnie:** how’s it going?

**seungminnie:** my mom asks me about you almost every day

**hyunjin:** aww

**hyunjin:** tell her i’m okay and that i love her 💖💘💖💘

**hyunjin:** [pic attached]

**seungminnie:** gross i’m not showing her that

**hyunjin:** >:(

**hyunjin:** it’ll make her smile c’mon

**seungminnie:** whatever

**seungminnie:** how’s your mom doing?

**hyunjin:** she’s fine i guess?

**hyunjin:** she doesn’t tell me much

**hyunjin:** but i know she’s still fighting with my dad

**hyunjin:** cause they both want to keep the house

**hyunjin:** and no one’s giving in

**hyunjin:** which is honestly fucking stupid

**hyunjin:** my dad has enough money to buy a new one if he wanted

**hyunjin:** my mom too probably

**hyunjin:** they’re just being petty

**seungminnie:** why does your mom want the house tho?

**seungminnie:** wouldn’t it be weird living there without your dad?

**hyunjin:** kinda

**hyunjin:** i already told her i don’t want to go back there

**hyunjin:** but she wants to sell it

**hyunjin:** and i suppose it’s also a pride thing

**hyunjin:** like she wants to get as much as she can from him

**seungminnie:** i mean

**seungminnie:** i don’t blame her

**seungminnie:** she’s had to put up with his shit for so many years

**hyunjin:** me neither

**hyunjin:** but i just want to be done with it tbh

**hyunjin:** and

**hyunjin:** wait

**hyunjin:** someone’s calling me give me a sec

**_Friday, 18:00_ **

**hyunjin:** bin

**hyunjin:** chanfgbin

**hyunjin:** pelasfe readsdme

**hyunjin:** chansbing plesee

**binnie:** i’m here

**binnie:** did something happen?

**binnie:** are you okay?

**hyunjin:** i jstj. got a call

**hyunjin:** fck bin

**binnie:** what???

**binnie:** a call from whom?

**binnie:** are you okay???

**hyunjin:** im

**hyunjin:** okay im truing to calm down wait

**binnie:** fuck jin

**binnie:** whats wrong?

**binnie:** was it your dad?

**hyunjin:** no

**hyunjin:** tnono t wasn’t him

**binnie:** thank god

**binnie:** then what is it?

**hyunjin:** its about the adustion

**binnie:** oh

**binnie:** the audition????

**binnie:** fuck

**binnie:** is it good news or bad news?

**hyunjin:** it’s

**hyunjin:** great news actually

**hyunjin:** i

**hyunjin:** PASSED!!!!!!!!!!!!

**hyunjin:** i passed the first round bin

**hyunjin:** 😭😭😭😭

**binnie:** fuck you hyunjin 😩😩😩😩

**binnie:** you had me scared there

**binnie:** but

**binnie:** fuck congrats??????????????

**hyunjin:** sorryi mjust

**hyunjin:** dhjkfdhsklgdfjgldg

**hyunjin:** really nervous right now

**hyunjin:** like

**hyunjin:** what??????

**binnie:** i’m so glad for you babe

**binnie:** i knew you could do it!!!!

**hyunjin:** god i can’t even believe it

**hyunjin:** sosry

**hyunjin:** !!!!!!!!!!!!!

**binnie:** hyunjin

**binnie:** you’re amazing

**binnie:** and this is just the first step

**binnie:** <3

**hyunjin:** 😭😭😭😭😭

**hyunjin:** ily

**binnie:** ly more babe ❤

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yet another uneventful chapter 😭
> 
> i said on ch15 that we had like 2/3 chapters left and i lied hehe sorry! i think it's going to have 20 chapters? or at least i hope so cause i like that number! but i guess we'll see <3
> 
> let me do some quick self-promo!!!! our secret santa au started last week and it's pretty fun, you can read it on our twt acc if you want: [@skzcleaus](https://twitter.com/skzcleaus)
> 
> again, thanks to everyone, ly 💖
> 
> [twt](https://twitter.com/noirxses)


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> > **minho:** i have a life
>> 
>> **minho:** unlike the rest of you
>> 
>> **seungminnie:** skipping classes and taking silly pictures of your cats?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HYUNJIN DYED HIS HAIR _BLACK_ YESTERDAY AND I STILL HAVEN'T RECOVERED THANK YOU SO MUCH HWANG HYUNJIN I LOVE YOU
> 
> an amazing announcement: [@_jellybeanie](https://twitter.com/_jellybeanie) started a russian translation for this fic, socmed format!!!! i'm incredibly thankful and honored 😭 the fact that someone liked this story so much not only they translated it, but made it a social media au, with the added effort that implies... thank you thank you thank you!! tmi but one of my first ideas for this story was doing it socmed format too, i even started with the screenshots and everything, but since i ended up adding so many narration parts i gave up skjgdfkg
> 
> if you know russian, you can read it [here](https://twitter.com/_jellybeanie/status/1346102539427704832)!
> 
> enjoy <3

**_Friday, 10:00_ **

**minho is catboy**

**cutie lix:** it’s d-day right???

 **jeonginnie:** d-day?

 **minho:** dick day

 **seungminnie:** he means hyunjin’s auditon 🙄

 **cutie lix:** yes…

 **hyunjin:** sdflkjdlsdkgdfklgdfg

 **hyunjin:** it is

 **hyunjin:** but i wish it was dick day instead 😭

 **hyunjin:** i’m

 **hyunjin:** stressed

**cutie lix:** don’t be!!!

 **cutie lix:** i’m sure you’ll do great jinnie! 😊✨

 **seungminnie:** yeah it’s gonna be fine

 **seungminnie:** good luck baby!

 **minho:** oh

 **minho:** so that’s why you’ve been mia for the past 2 weeks

 **hyunjin:** i told you

 **hyunjin:** i had an interview with them

 **hyunjin:** and i had to prepare a new choreo cause there’s a second audition

 **hyunjin:** with the rest of the candidates

 **hyunjin:** do you even listen to me 😩

 **minho:** i do

 **minho:** sometimes

 **minho:** but i can’t remember everything you say 🙄

 **minho:** i have a life

 **minho:** unlike the rest of you

 **seungminnie:** skipping classes and taking silly pictures of your cats?

 **hyunjin:** skipping classes and looking for cat ears headbands on aliexpress?

 **jeonginnie:** what sjfjldslfdgkñg

 **minho:** how the fuck do you know that

 **hyunjin:** i have connections 💅

 **seungminnie:** so changbin told you

 **hyunjin:** well

 **hyunjin:** yeah

 **minho:** im gonna kill the midget

 **hyunjin:** it’s not his fault 😩

 **hyunjin:** jisung showed them

 **hyunjin:** certain pics…

 **hyunjin:** i didn’t see them but changbin says you guys looked cute 😳

 **minho:** fuck you

 **hyunjin:** shjfdkklsjgdfkg

 **cutie lix:** ohhhh is it like a couple item thing??

 **cutie lix:** like the ones you buy on lotte world???

 **cutie lix:** that’s really cute min 🥺

 **cutie lix:** show us those pics!!!

 **hyunjin:** n-no lix…

 **hyunjin:** i don’t think that’s it

 **seungminnie:** oh we definitely do Not want to see pics

 **hyunjin:** i mean i want to

 **hyunjin:** but i’m afraid i won’t be able to sleep again without having nightmares

 **jeonginnie:** im getting lost here

 **jeonginnie:** who’s wearing the cat ears

 **hyunjin:** jisung

 **seungminnie:** i thought it was both of them?

 **minho:** no one’s wearing the fucking cat ears

 **minho:** but i’m gonna shove them up your asses if you don’t shut up

 **minho:** idiots

 **hyunjin:** don’t get angry it’s my day

 **hyunjin:** i need good vibes only

 **jeonginnie:** dick day was better

 **hyunjin:** every day can be dick day

 **hyunjin:** if you try hard enough

 **seungminnie:** …

 **hyunjin:** i’m sorry i’m nervous okay

 **seungminnie:** i’m sure it’ll go fine

 **hyunjin:** i’m sure i’m going to die

 **hyunjin:** wish me luck

 **hyunjin:** 😔

 **cutie lix:** no you don’t need it cause you’re amazing!!!

 **cutie lix:** but good luck

 **cutie lix** : just in case 🤗

 **jeonginnie:** yes good luck!!!

 **minho:** break a leg or whatever

 **jeonginnie:** but not literally

 **jeonginnie:** don’t break your leg

 **jeonginnie:** that’s not good

 **hyunjin:** yeah i know innie

 **hyunjin:** thanks guys :(

 **hyunjin:** im

 **hyunjin:** stresdteygdshgsf

 **hyunjin:** but i thought it’d be worse

 **hyunjin:** i guess i’ll just faint when i get there

 **cutie lix:** it’s gonna be okay jin!!!

 **cutie lix:** i’m sure!!!

 **jeonginnie:** yes yes yes 😊😉😙

 **seungminnie:** what time’s the audition?

 **hyunjin:** 12

 **hyunjin:** but i wanna be there by 11

 **hyunjin:** just in case

 **hyunjin:** i’m leaving the studio in half an hour

 **hyunjin:** 😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖

 **seungminnie:** it’s gonna go great baby

 **seungminnie:** don’t worry 🧡

 **minho:** texts us afterwards

 **minho:** i promise i’ll read it

 **cutie lix:** fighting!!!!

 **cutie lix:** ٩(◕‿◕｡)۶

 **jeonginnie:** good luck 😘

 **hyunjin:** thanks babies 😫

**_Friday, 11:30_ **

**3RACHA BOIS**

**ugly (jisung):** changbin you idiot

 **ugly (jisung):** what the hell did you say to hyunjin

 **ugly (jisung):** about

 **ugly (jisung):** about you know what

 **ugly (jisung):** minho’s threatening to chop my dick off

 **ugly (jisung):** again

 **ugly (jisung):** 😩😩😩😩😩

 **bangchan:** what are you talking about?

 **ugly (jisung):** you know…

 **ugly (jisung):** the pics…

 **ugly (jisung):** last saturday….

 **bangchan:** the cat ears????

 **ugly (jisung):** SHUSH

 **bangchan:** the c*t *ars?

 **ugly (jisung):** yes 🙄

 **bangchan:** what happened?

 **ugly (jisung):** apparently changbin told hyunjin

 **ugly (jisung):** cause hyunjin mentioned it today

 **ugly (jisung):** and now i have to deal with a very angry and very scary minho 💀

 **changbin:** oops 🤭

 **ugly (jisung):** don’t oops me

 **ugly (jisung):** you’re a dick

 **ugly (jisung):** why would you tell him

 **ugly (jisung):** what did i ever do to you

 **ugly (jisung):** why do you enjoy watching me suffer

 **changbin:** this is my revenge

 **changbin:** for showing hyunjin that vid of me dancing in highschool

 **changbin:** but also it was too funny

 **changbin:** i _had_ to tell him

 **changbin:** sorry

 **ugly (jisung):** my sexual life is not funny 😤😤😤

 **bangchan:** it was

 **bangchan:** kinda funny

 **bangchan:** maybe if you hadn’t showed us the pics…

 **ugly (jisung):** i was drunk 😩

 **ugly (jisung):** you took advantage of me

 **changbin:** no we didn’t

 **changbin:** you were the one who insisted on showing us those pics

 **bangchan:** we still love you ji

 **bangchan:** you looked cute 👍

 **ugly (jisung):** i mean

 **ugly (jisung):** i always look cute

 **ugly (jisung):** but

 **ugly (jisung):** i’m going to die 😭😭😭😭😭

 **changbin:** you can’t die

 **changbin:** we have work tomorrow

 **changbin:** die after the concert

 **ugly (jisung):** i’ll die whenever i want to

 **bangchan:** calm down

 **bangchan:** no one’s dying

 **ugly (jisung):** no one’s dying _yet_

 **bangchan:** i’m sure you’ll survive ji

 **bangchan:** btw

 **bangchan:** when are you coming for the rehearsal?

 **ugly (jisung):** idk

 **ugly (jisung):** im not doing anything

 **ugly (jisung):** except being yelled at by minho

 **ugly (jisung):** so

 **ugly (jisung):** whenever?

 **changbin:** didn’t we say we’d do it in the afternoon?

 **ugly (jisung):** the sooner we start the sooner it’s over babe

 **ugly (jisung):** think about that 😉

 **changbin:** well i can’t right now

 **bangchan:** are you at the store?

 **changbin:** no

 **changbin:** i’m not working today

 **ugly (jisung):** then what are you doing

* * *

Changbin was sitting by the window of a tiny Starbucks, the nearest one he could find to the company building where Hyunjin was now waiting for his audition to begin. If he stretched his neck long enough, he could still see the spot where they’d parted ways half an hour ago, right at the entrance of the building.

He could still picture the tall figure of his boyfriend when they got out of the car, shaky hands running through his hair, biting his lower lip as he asked him if he looked okay. He’d been asking the same question every ten minutes since they left the studio, and Changbin made sure to tell him every time that _yes_ ; he not only looked okay, but he looked amazing. He wasn’t lying, nor trying to comfort him. It was just a fact. With or without makeup, hair tied up or falling over his shoulders, Hyunjin always looked perfect.

Of course, Hyunjin shushed him, muttering excuses about how he was biased, but the hint of a smile on his face was enough to know that his words brought some relief to him.

They’d said goodbye with a tight hug and a whisper of good luck, Changbin not moving from his spot until he saw the back of Hyunjin disappear behind the glass doors. He’d never been the type to get nervous, not even before a performance, but he couldn’t help the uneasy sensation on the pit of his stomach as he’d watched him walk away. It was anxiety, mixed with fear and anticipation.

He’d always been sure Hyunjin would pass. He’d had the chance to see the new choreo that same morning, and it’d surpassed his expectations by _far_. Hyunjin was an excellent dancer, and it was amazing to see how he could pull off perfectly every style he chose.

From the short practice videos he’d seen, to the routine for his first audition, and now the new one, every song had a totally different mood, which meant a totally different Hyunjin. The sentimental version he’d seen before, with fluid moves and soft expressions, had turned into aggression, sharp and quick, a fierce look in his eyes that had Changbin tingling all over. Hyunjin managed to make everything his own, completely capturing the audience, impossible to tear your eyes off him.

Still, as incredible as he was, and while he trusted Hyunjin’s ability, he couldn’t help but wonder. _What if_. What if it wasn’t enough, what if there was someone better, what if it wasn’t what they were looking for.

It was the same kind of thoughts he remembered having years ago, when he decided to change his future for good, although he never imagined he’d be applying them to someone else, much less Hyunjin.

Maybe it had to do with the fact that he’d spent the entirety of the night listening to such concerns, Hyunjin’s head resting on his chest as he went through every possible scenario of what could go wrong. Changbin had responded in a calm and objectively manner, trying to ease Hyunjin’s nerves, a task he was by now more than accustomed to. But a part of that worry had stuck with him, and suddenly he couldn’t trust his own logic, the one that had been enough for Hyunjin to finally be able to fall asleep.

It was probably the reason why he’d decided to stay too, instead of going home like they’d talked about earlier. Since they didn’t know how long the audition could take, he was supposed to wait for Hyunjin back at his apartment, the boy promising him he’d be the first person to call as soon as it was over.

Changbin was only supposed to escort him to the place of the audition, make sure he didn’t bail this time. Hyunjin had asked as a favor, and he accepted without a second thought, except that he would’ve gone with him even uninvited. He knew how important this was, and he knew Hyunjin needed the support.

With that excuse, they ended up spending the night together too, which led to Changbin being dragged at eight in the morning to Hyunjin’s practice studio. He really couldn’t complain about the extra time, though.

It’d been almost two weeks since Hyunjin left his apartment, after he decided staying with his mother was the better option, with a promise to spend every minute they could together. A real promise that Hyunjin made him say out loud a couple of times, arguing that he needed the verbal confirmation to be able to sleep at night.

It was embarrassingly sweet. The kind of thing one would only say in the beginning of a relationship, when everything is pink skies and glittery rainbows with a seemingly never-ending happiness. Jisung laughed at him, Chan warned him to not get too carried away, and Changbin knew he should listen, but he didn’t find it in himself to care if he’d fallen too fast or not.

They failed to consider that they both had other responsibilities; boring adult stuff they tended to forget about when they were together.

Between Hyunjin’s endless practice sessions, the boy holed up in the studio from morning until night, and Changbin’s work, both at the store and as 3RACHA, the moments where they could meet were scarce, if none.

Whenever Hyunjin let himself have a rest, Changbin was busy preparing for their next gig, and whenever Changbin finished one of his shifts, Hyunjin had just started one of his sessions. It was tough, especially after the week they spent together, inseparable, but if anything, Changbin was patient.

Patient enough to spend God knows how many hours on that café, staring at the window from time to time, hoping to find the familiar silhouette of his boyfriend amongst the few people that walked the street at that hour.

He had to be grateful to himself for always carrying his laptop with him wherever he went, allowing him to at least kill his time working on his music. Their new mixtape was scheduled for next month, and even though the three of them felt the urge to show their work as soon as possible, they knew they needed to be patient. A few of the songs were included on the setlist for their next concert, while the rest they decided to throw into a mashup that would play at the end of it, one of Chan’s ideas that they all agreed to instantly.

He listened to every song, went through every lyric, and still no word from Hyunjin. The café got busier for a while, and then it got quiet again, only a few couples and college students occupying the tables. He had the decency to order another cup of americano, his first cup sitting empty beside his laptop since more than an hour ago. He didn’t even like coffee that much, but it was the cheapest thing he could order, and he’d started to notice the stares from one of the employees.

Jisung texted him from time to time, helping him when he started working on his unfinished projects instead, and even offering to come and wait with him. He had to refuse the offer more than five times, because Jisung wanted to make sure he knew he was serious, and that he was rooting for Hyunjin too. Changbin wondered when he’d become so invested in being Hyunjin’s friend, or if he was doing it out of boredom, since Minho had decided to give him the silent treatment after their quarrel.

The clock’s hands passed two, and his stomach started rumbling, reminding him he hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast. He was scanning the menu for the cheapest sandwich when his phone started ringing, displaying Hyunjin’s name on the screen. He tore his headphones out and picked up the call.

“Hyunjin?”

“Hey—” Hyunjin’s voice came through, but Changbin cut him off before he could continue.

“Where are you? I don’t see you,” he was stretching his neck, looking through the window, eyes scanning the crowd that was forming at the entrance of the building.

“I’m coming out now. Where are you?” Hyunjin asked, confused.

The automatic glass doors opened again, and Changbin recognized him immediately.

“Starbucks, the one on the corner. I think I see you now. Wait there, at the entrance.” He closed his laptop and started shoving everything into his bag as he spoke.

“No, wait, I’ll go there,” Hyunjin said hurriedly. “There’s too many people here.”

The boy hung up before Changbin could even say anything, but he saw him walking towards the café. With a deep breath, he finished clearing up the table, careful to not accidentally spill his drink on his laptop. He’d managed to forget about his anxiety for a while, but it was back again, settling on the pit of his stomach.

As soon as the door opened and Hyunjin came through it, Changbin scurried to get up, chair screeching and bumping against the floor. There were a few annoyed stares, but he ignored them, because Hyunjin’s eyes were now on him, and they both walked towards each other.

He didn’t even get to see his face properly, or read his expression, before the boy threw his arms around his neck with a force that almost crushed him. Tears started wetting his t-shirt on the spot where Hyunjin was hiding.

“What happened?” he asked softly, hands rubbing circles on the boy’s back. “Is it bad news?”

He felt Hyunjin’s head shake a little against him, but he couldn’t tell if that was his answer, or if it was the crying. Changbin’s heart twisted, his stomach in knots. The only thing he could do was wait for Hyunjin to calm down.

It took a couple of minutes before the boy detached himself from Changbin, just enough to let him see his face. There was wetness in his eyes, tears running through his cheeks to meet a bright smile. Hyunjin’s smile, his favorite smile.

“I’m in.”

Changbin’s eyes widened, then closed as he shoved Hyunjin against him again, holding him tight by his waist. A wave of relief passed through him, and he sighed, letting out the breath he’d been holding.

“I knew it,” Changbin said.

Hyunjin laughed, high-pitched and free and _happy_ , the sound of it drawing a smile on his own lips. “How could you have possibly known?”

“I just did. I knew it. You’re too good, Jin.” Every doubt, every question he’d had before, felt tremendously stupid and silly now. How could he have ever considered that they’d reject him? Reject _Hyunjin_? It wouldn’t make sense.

“Shut up,” Hyunjin muttered, like he did whenever Changbin complimented him. This time, it was weak, almost like he believed him.

They broke apart, so they could look at each other properly. Hyunjin’s hands were still on his shoulders, Changbin’s cupping the boy’s face.

Softly, he swiped his thumbs across Hyunjin’s cheeks, getting rid of the few tears that still wetted his skin, “I mean it, Jin. You’re amazing, and you deserve this. I’m really happy for you.”

He saw Hyunjin’s smile widen, and his own did too. He could _feel_ the boy’s happiness radiating off him, so contagious it turned everything bright yellow. Warmth spread through Changbin’s chest, and stomach, and limbs, and he realized there was pride in it too. This was _his_ boyfriend, not only the most beautiful boy he’d ever set his eyes on, but also an incredible and talented person.

Hyunjin appeared as if he were about to say something, inhaling, and then exhaling after a second. Instead of speaking, he moved forward, and kissed him. Changbin understood just the same. It was Hyunjin’s own way of saying thank you, and Changbin accepted it without a single word, melting against his lips on the gentlest of kisses.

When they separated, Changbin leaned forward again for one quick peck. Then he gave him another one, on his nose, on his cheeks, on the corner of his lips. He showered Hyunjin with kisses until the boy started laughing and his eyes turned into little crescent moons, asking him to stop with the sweetest voice ever. He only did so when he heard someone clear his throat, suddenly aware that they were in public.

“I still need you to tell me everything that happened,” Changbin said, pouting slightly.

“Let’s get out of here first. I’m starving,” Hyunjin let go of him, only to grab his hand instead, pulling him towards the exit.

* * *

**_Friday, 16:00_ **

**minho is catboy**

**cutie lix:** CONGRATS!!! 🥳✨🎉🎊

 **jeonginnie:** yayyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!

 **jeonginnie:** congrats hyunjin!!!

 **minho:** that’s my boy 😼😼

 **seungminnie:** congrats baby ☺

 **seungminnie:** i knew you could do it!

 **hyunjin:** thanks guys 😭😭😭😭

 **hyunjin:** im

 **hyunjin:** im so happy 😭😭😭

 **hyunjin:** i still haven’t

 **hyunjin:** processed

 **hyunjin:** like???????

 **hyunjin:** they offered me

 **hyunjin:** a permanent position

 **hyunjin:** not just training

 **hyunjin:** how is that even possible 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

 **seungminnie:** we told you you’re amazing jin

 **seungminnie:** maybe now you’ll believe us

 **cutie lix:** i’m so happy for you 😭

 **cutie lix:** you deserve this 💖

 **jeonginnie:** they liked you _that_ much

 **jeonginnie:** wow

 **hyunjin:** apparently

 **hyunjin:** i was the first one to be accepted 😳

 **cutie lix:** that’s cause you’re the best!!!!

 **jeonginnie:** omg

 **jeonginnie:** are you going to be famous now?

 **jeonginnie:** i can go sell your secrets on tv

 **jeonginnie:** and become famous too

 **jeonginnie:** this is great :D

 **minho:** we can sell his autographs and used underwear

 **minho:** i sense business here

 **hyunjin:** dsfdskfjkdgjdg

 **hyunjin:** i’m not going to be famous 😩

 **hyunjin:** the best i can hope for is appearing on the background of some random music video

 **hyunjin:** but

 **hyunjin:** they told me i could apply to teaching positions in the future

 **hyunjin:** and that sounds

 **hyunjin:** amazing

 **hyunjin:** honestly

 **jeonginnie:** teaching??????

 **jeonginnie:** but you’re the worst teacher

 **seungminnie:** remember when we were young and he tried to give us swimming lessons 💀

 **cutie lix:** djhfdhf yeah

 **cutie lix:** innie almost drowned

 **jeonginnie:** and my mom said it was my fault 😭

 **minho:** my mom said it was _my_ fault

 **minho:** for not taking care of you idiots

 **minho:** 🙄

 **cutie lix:** we all cried afterwards 😥

 **hyunjin:** that was ages ago 😤

 **hyunjin:** and i said in the future

 **hyunjin:** like

 **hyunjin:** with years of practice and stuff

 **hyunjin:** but i think it’d be nice

 **hyunjin:** right?

 **seungminnie:** yeah we were just joking

 **seungminnie:** i’m sure you’d be a great teacher 🧡

 **cutie lix:** i think you’d be great too :(

 **hyunjin:** ly babies 💝

 **seungminnie:** did you tell your mom?

 **hyunjin:** yeah i called her

 **hyunjin:** she was really happy too

 **hyunjin:** she said she wants to throw a party gdfjgkdjg

 **cutie lix:** awwww

 **cutie lix:** how is she btw?

 **hyunjin:** she’s been doing great actually

 **hyunjin:** haven’t seen or spoken to my dad in a week since they settled

 **hyunjin:** only paperwork left 🎉

 **cutie lix:** ohhh

 **cutie lix:** i’m glad for you guys <3

 **seungminnie:** yeah you deserve some peace

 **seungminnie:** after everything that’s happened

 **hyunjin:** i know :(

 **hyunjin:** seems like everything will be over soon

 **minho:** did you say

 **minho:** party

 **minho:** when?

 **hyunjin:** idk

 **hyunjin:** she wants to do it at our new house

 **hyunjin:** but who knows when that’ll be

 **hyunjin:** she’s just begun the paperwork to sell our old one

 **hyunjin:** so

 **minho:** how about felix’s yacht

 **cutie lix:** that was only for your birthday

 **cutie lix:** you know my dad doesn’t like us using it for parties 😔

 **minho:** just say that he hates me

 **minho:** okay

 **minho:** then my house

 **minho:** tomorrow?

 **hyunjin:** tomorrow is the concert

 **minho:** oh shit

 **minho:** true

 **minho:** then sunday?

 **hyunjin:** i have a date on sunday 😳 

**seungminnie:** i have 8am classes on monday

 **minho:** 🙄

 **minho:** fuck you then

 **minho:** no party

 **seungminnie:** we could just

 **seungminnie:** celebrate it tomorrow?

 **seungminnie:** after the concert?

 **hyunjin:** you want to

 **hyunjin:** COME TO THE CONCERT????????

 **seungminnie:** i said after the concert

 **hyunjin:** PLEASE MINNIE COME TO THE CONCERT

 **cutie lix:** omg that’d be so nice!!!!!

 **cutie lix:** yes!!!

 **seungminnie:** why would you want me coming

 **hyunjin:** cause i want you to meet changbin!!!

 **seungminnie:** i already met him

 **seungminnie:** on felix’s disaster party

 **hyunjin:** that doesn’t count

 **hyunjin:** you barely even talked with him

 **hyunjin:** and he wasn’t

 **hyunjin:** my boyfriend 😳

 **cutie lix:** i want you to meet chan too!!!

 **seungminnie:** again, i already met him too

 **seungminnie:** but

 **seungminnie:** whatever

 **seungminnie:** i guess it wouldn’t hurt going there

 **cutie lix:** yes!!!!

 **cutie lix:** it’s going to be fun i swear 🥺

 **jeonginnie:** does this mean i have to go too

 **hyunjin:** yes

 **jeonginnie:** 💀💀💀💀💀

 **jeonginnie:** whyyyyyyyyy

 **hyunjin:** cause the rest of us are going

 **jeonginnie:** i’m not whipped for any of them like you guys

 **jeonginnie:** i don’t need to listen to their awful music

 **minho:** we can get wasted while hyunjin and lix take pics

 **minho:** don’t worry baby

 **minho:** i got you 😉

 **jeonginnie:** 😶

 **jeonginnie:** fine…

 **cutie lix:** 🎉🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊

 **cutie lix:** it’s the first time we’re all going together

 **cutie lix:** and to think that a month ago i had to drag you guys with me 😭

 **hyunjin:** we love u lix <3

 **cutie lix:** <3

 **hyunjin:** okay so

 **hyunjin:** permission to get wrecked?

 **hyunjin:** 😳😳😳😳

 **minho:** permission granted 😼

 **seungminnie:** you know that never ends well jin

 **minho:** leave the kid alone

 **minho:** we’re going to have fun together 😼

 **seungminnie:** you’re never the one who ends up taking care of him when he pukes

 **minho:** obviously not

 **minho:** but he has a boyfriend now

 **seungminnie:** that’s

 **seungminnie:** true

 **seungminnie:** fine permission granted or whatever

 **hyunjin:** 😼

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next update will be a double update because ch20 is the epilogue (a short one, i'm thinking). this also means... it will be the last update 😭😭😭😭 i'll leave the emotional statements for then
> 
> as always, thanks for reading <3
> 
> talk to me on [twt](https://twitter.com/noirxses)


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> > “Don’t tell me you’ve already found yourself someone else.”
>> 
>> Both Minho and Hyunjin spun around, as if they’d been caught red-handed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! the last update is here! it's a double update, make sure to read both ch19 and ch20 
> 
> enjoy <3

Hyunjin had lost count of how many times someone pushed him from behind, causing his face to get squished against the back of another unknown person. He’d lost count of how many apologies he’d had to yell, how many death-stares he’d had to endure.

The place wasn’t that small, but it was packed to the brim. The mass of bodies that jumped around to the beat of the music could almost look fun from the outside, everyone cheering with their hands up. From the inside, it meant people bumping against you constantly, elbows on your ribs, and being stepped on without warning.

It was his fault for insisting on getting second row, truly, and a part of him knew that the next time, he’d insist on the same thing.

They’d announced their last song barely a minute ago, which caused everyone to cheer even louder. Hyunjin was starting to sweat, and his throat hurt from all the yelling, but he joined without hesitating. Felix was whistling next to him, holding his phone with one hand. He’d been recording the whole thing since the beginning, barely taking a break. Hyunjin had to admire his dedication, because he’d only managed to get a couple of blurry pictures and a shaky video before he’d had to desist. He’d almost dropped his phone twice.

Seungmin, on his other side, was having more fun that Hyunjin had expected him to. It was probably the few extra shots they’d almost forced him to gulp down, but they boy hadn’t actually complain as much as he just nagged, preaching about being responsible and arguing that someone needed to be sober to take care of them. It was his usual speech, though this time it was weaker, and it didn’t take that long to convince him. Now, he kept jumping erratically on his spot, trying to follow the lyrics of songs he’d never heard before.

The oldest and the youngest were nowhere to be found. As soon as they’d arrived at the club, they’d gone straight to the bar and started ordering whatever weird mix came into Minho’s mind. Hyunjin supposed they were still there drinking, but since it had only gotten more crowded, no matter how much he craned his neck to look for them, he couldn’t find them. Since Seungmin and Jeongin still weren’t on speaking terms, he supposed it was for the better.

Once the song finished and the trio said their goodbyes, the lights went out. Usually, they would light up again after a few minutes, showing an empty stage and marking the end of the concert. This time, they didn’t.

Hyunjin already knew there was something left. A surprise, Changbin had told him the night before. He’d tried to get him to spill, but it was to no avail. Changbin enjoyed his whining way too much, and so he’d only hummed and laughed quietly as Hyunjin had begged for him to tell him what it was.

The stage did light up again, after a while.

Chan was standing behind a DJ table that wasn’t there before, right hand hovering loosely over his laptop and left one over the mixing board and keyboard. He had huge black headphones on his ears, and a fierce look on his gaze that left Hyunjin speechless. If he hadn’t seen those eyes crinkling with laughter before, he’d be kind of scared. Maybe even a bit turned on if he was being honest.

Changbin and Jisung were waiting by the sides, covered in darkness, their figures barely visible. Hyunjin felt the excitement on the tip of his toes, tingling, and on the pit of his stomach, fluttering.

Chan’s fingers hit the board three times, and music exploded from the speakers to the rhythm of his tapping. There were a few seconds of complete silence before he hit the keys again, this time repeatedly. His hands started moving all over the board. Not too fast, almost with care, though the music that he produced was anything but gentle.

The cheers of the crowd were engulfed by the electronic sounds, and when the other two rappers finally stepped out of the shadows, mics next to their mouths, it got so wild Hyunjin thought his eardrums would break.

It didn’t take him long to realize it wasn’t a song at all, but a mashup of their new songs. He had to smile at the idea. Sometimes it amazed him how those three boys were his age, and they were the most talented people he knew. It was still a mystery to him how they were able to write and compose with such ease. He’d asked Changbin, once or twice before, but the boy struggled to find a right answer, just as he did when he got asked in return how he could come up with a whole choreography on his own. “It just comes to me, I guess”, he’d said, only for Changbin to shrug and tell him the same thing.

When the last notes of the song faded, the spotlights pointing at the boys changed its color, painting their faces a warm yellow. Despite the sweat on their foreheads, they were smiling brightly, the three of them holding hands as they stepped forward for a quick bow. This time it was a real goodbye, and they took their time thanking everyone for coming, along with the staff that had helped them.

As soon as it was over, the place went back to its usual dark state, the only source of light being now the pink bright glow of the few neon signs that decorated the walls here and there.

“Well, that was fun, wasn’t it?” A voice came right from behind them.

They turned around to find Minho, smile plastered on his face, eyebrows slightly raised, eyes glassy and not quite focused.

“What the fuck? How did you get here?” He hadn’t seen the older boy approaching them in the slightest.

“Well, walking, duh,” Minho rolled his eyes at them, unbothered by the fact that they were sandwiched between people from all angles, and it was quite difficult for him to have gotten there without pissing off quite a lot of them. Knowing him, he’d probably kicked everyone in the shin just to get through. “Thought I should rescue you losers before you start smelling like sweaty armpits. I’m too late, aren’t I?” he explained, sniffling and grimacing afterwards.

“Where’s Jeongin?” Seungmin blurted out before any of them could even register Minho’s words.

There was the hint of a smile on Minho’s eyes, but he spoke casually when he said, “Waiting for us by the bar. He’s way too drunk and I didn’t feel like dragging him all the way here. Plus, we found the perfect spot, so I left him in charge of defending it.”

“Way too drunk? What did you do to him, Min?” Hyunjin asked, eyebrows raised suspiciously.

“Nothing,” Minho frowned defensively. “But we should hurry before he decides he wants to do body shots with the bartender again.”

“He did _what_?” Felix, who had been tapping at his phone, looked up as soon as he heard that, mouth opening in surprise. “Jeongin did body shots?” he asked, emphasizing the last words, as if he’d heard them wrong.

“He _wanted_ to do body shots, but I stopped him before he could embarrass himself,” Minho explained impatiently. “Now let’s go, I already ordered us a round of tequilas.”

He ushered them to follow him, and before Hyunjin could even realize, he was being dragged away from the stage and onto the first of many, _many_ drinks.

* * *

**_Sunday, 00:30_ **

**felix <3:** babe we’re waiting by the bar

 **felix <3:** text me when you’re done

 **felix <3:** 😊😚🤗🥰

**_Sunday, 01:00_ **

**catboy:** whejre are uuuuuuuuuuu

 **catboy:** where the fkasck hahre you

 **catboy:** whereareyouwhereareyouwherereaoityu

 **catboy:** jisuggggjn

 **catboy:** jiasjaisugngjkfo???

 **catboy:** >(::

**_Sunday, 01:30_ **

****

**hyunnie:** binsdie

 **hyunnie:** imssdut you

 **hyunnie:** where are u guysssssssssssss

 **hyunnie:** :((((((((((

 **hyunnie:** iwant a hug

 **hyunnie:** and a Kisss

 **hyunnie:** pls djnt tel me u died

 **hyunnie:** u cnat die

 **hyunnie:** iff u die id ie too

 **hyunnie:** wjhasajs that sodunsd lame

 **hyunnie:** anwyas miss u 😭

* * *

“Should we go look for them?” Felix leaned closer as he raised his voice, trying to get their attention.

“We can’t go backstage, Lix,” Hyunjin screamed in return.

“Backstage?” Felix said, confused. “I meant Seungmin and Jeongin.”

“Oh, yeah, right.” Hyunjin nodded, biting his lip. He’d honestly forgotten about his friends disappearing more than an hour ago.

Minho hadn’t exaggerated when he’d said Jeongin was way too drunk. The youngest boy had thrown his arms around Seungmin’s neck the moment they’d arrived at their supposedly perfect spot. They all knew a sober Jeongin would never hug anyone out of his own free will.

He’d thought Seungmin would offer some resistance, but he’d taken the boy away to “get some fresh air”, and they hadn’t heard from them since. He only wished they were fixing things, and not making them worse.

Changbin wasn’t answering his texts either, so it was just the three of them. Hyunjin didn’t know how many drinks had passed through his hands at this point. As soon as he emptied a glass, Minho replaced it with a new one. He was going to have the hangover of his life the next day, but he was feeling too ecstatic now to care.

“I’m sure they’re fine. Probably making out in the restroom,” Minho shrugged.

“I think that’s more your style, Min,” Hyunjin flashed him a grin that, on a normal occasion, would have earned him a punch on his shoulder.

Instead, Minho just tilted his head and nodded, “That’s true.”

“But you don’t think anything’s happened to them, right?” Felix asked again, concern seeping through his voice. He was the only one sober enough to actually worry about his friends, because he was the only one who had the will to reject Minho’s efforts in intoxicating them.

“I’ll send Minnie a text if that makes you feel better,” Hyunjin squeezed his arm, as if trying to reassure him, before snaking out his phone from the back pocket of his jeans.

* * *

**_Sunday, 01:45_ **

**minho is catboy**

**hyunjin:** jiongin

 **hyunjin:** u better be makifjngout with minnie

 **hyunjin:** but if they ve kidnapoekd you or skmerhing

 **hyunjin:** tetxsh us

 **hyunjin:** 😘😘😘😘😘😘😘🤩😘😘🤗😘😘

* * *

“Done,” Hyunjin stated with a wide and satisfied smile.

“You know you just sent that in the groupchat, right?” Minho said, an eyebrow raised as he stared at him.

“What?”

* * *

**_Sunday, 02:00_ **

**minho is catboy**

**seungminnie:** [pic attached]

 **seungminnie:** were fine

 **hyunjin:** 😳😳🤪😳😳🥶🤪🤪😳😳

 **minho:** myb abbyyyyy

 **minho:** he looksd so cute

 **minho:** sunegmin u r ok i guess

 **hyunjin:** ok byt where r uuuuu

 **hyunjin:** comeb ack

 **cutie lix:** call us later okay???

 **jeonginnie:** mmdmkkay

 **jeonginnie:** 😘🤗😍😘🤩☺☺😶😏

* * *

They ended up on the center of the dancefloor once Minho decided he had enough alcohol running through his veins.

To the slow and more sensual songs they danced closely together, and to the upbeat songs they jumped and moved more freely. There was always one of them who yelled excitedly when the next song started, saying “I know this one!” and proceeding to completely mess up the lyrics.

It was the most fun Hyunjin had had in a while, after everything that happened. He let himself loose without his brain getting in the way, no worries haunting him, for once. It felt so incredibly liberating and _good_ , he could feel his whole body vibrating because of it. He was happy, but even more so, he was grateful for being able to share that happiness with his friends.

Minho was rocking his hips slowly against him, his back on his chest, his hands shamelessly hanging around his neck, when he heard a raspy voice in his ear, too close to be someone he didn’t know.

“Don’t tell me you’ve already found yourself someone else.”

Both Minho and Hyunjin spun around, as if they’d been caught red-handed.

The three of them were there, Chan, Changbin and Jisung. Chan already had his gaze fixed on Felix, while the other two boys were looking at them questioningly. Jisung probably said something too, but Hyunjin could only focus on Changbin.

His face glowed slightly pink under the dancefloor lights, the piercing on his eyebrow glinting slightly. Teeth shined through his small smile, and a few strands of hair peeked out the black cap he was wearing. Hyunjin almost tore it out when he threw himself at him.

“Where the fuck were you?” He yelled, crushing Changbin against him. “I sent you like a hundred texts!” He slapped the boy’s chest when they broke apart, though it was weak, and it only made Changbin’s smile wider.

“Yeah, I know, sorry I couldn’t text you back. I’ll tell you about it later, okay?” Changbin held him by the waist, preventing him from getting out of his hold. “Did you miss me a lot?” He asked with a pout.

“I didn’t,” Hyunjin crossed his arms against his chest. “I was having the time of life with Minho and Lix, you know. Until you came.”

“Aww, I’m sorry, Hyunnie,” Changbin cooed amusedly. “Should I leave, then?”

“No.” Hyunjin said, sticking his lips out. “Were you making out with Jisung?”

“What?” Changbin’s eyes widened as he let out a chuckle. “Why would I be making out with Jisung?”

“We saw you that one time,” Hyunjin explained, brow furrowed in annoyance. “And he looked pretty hot up there on the stage.”

“So you think Jisung is hot?” Changbin nudged him slightly, completely ignoring his question. As always, he enjoyed way too much Hyunjin’s whole endeavor to make him feel bad. “What about me?”

“You’re okay, I guess,” Hyunjin said with feigned indifference.

“Well, I think you’re the hottest person in the world, so.”

“Sure,” Hyunjin muttered, almost inaudible over the music.

It’s not that he really meant any of it, but he simply loved the attention, and the both of them knew it.

“C’mon, Hyunnie,” Changbin rocked him from side to side. “I deserve some praise after our performance. A kiss? I think I deserve a kiss.”

“Mmh, I don’t know,” Hyunjin stared at him with his lips tightly pressed.

“If you don’t kiss me, I’m going to die. Do you want me to die?”

“You’re so dramatic,” Hyunjin said.

“Look who’s talking,” Changbin retorted. “Please?” He added.

“Ugh, okay, fine,” Hyunjin’s façade finally broke, letting out the smile he’d been holding. “I missed you. And you killed it out there. And you looked hot. Way hotter than Jisung. Hotter than anyone else in the world.”

Changbin smiled, only slightly embarrassed, before Hyunjin’s hands cupped his face and brought him closer to him. He captured his lips with ease, gentle at first, pressing softly until he felt Changbin kiss him back. Soon after, he tilted his head to deepen the contact, tongue tracing the round shape of Changbin’s mouth, a shape he’d learned by heart now. The hands that were resting on the small of his back pressed him tighter against Changbin’s body, eliciting a small sigh of relief from his lips.

He felt himself melt in the boy’s arms, and the world stopped until it was just them, cold fingertips warming up as they explored skin and muscles. He heard his friends’ voices, but they were faded, distant noises that didn’t seem to matter. The only thing that mattered was Changbin, and the way his heart thumped wildly in his chest with every little touch, like it wanted to break out and leave.

“Do you remember when we first met here?” Hyunjin asked, leaving kisses along Changbin’s jawline. He felt him nod, and he heard a small grunt when he dragged the boy’s earlobe between his teeth. “Do you remember what I told you back then?”

He separated himself from the boy, just enough to be able to look at the brown round eyes that were staring at him. His lips were parted, slightly swollen from his kisses.

“Let’s get out of here,” Changbin said. It was both his answer, and an offer.

Hyunjin simply nodded, the brightest smile on his face.

* * *

**_Friday, 12:00_ **

****

**hyunjin:** seriously????????????????

 **hyunjin:** like

 **hyunjin:** for real

 **hyunjin:** FOR REAL???!??!?!

 **binnie:** yup

 **binnie:** for real

 **binnie:** finally

 **binnie:** 😊😊

 **hyunjin:** oh my god

**_Friday, 12:05_ **

**minho is catboy**

**hyunjin:** GUESS WHOSE BOYFRIEND JUST SIGNED WITH ONE OF THE BIGGEST MUSIC COMPANIES IN SOUTH KOREA

 **minho:** mine

 **cutie lix:** MINE!!!!!!!!!!!

 **hyunjin:** fuck you sjdhskljg

 **seungminnie:** definitely not mine

 **jeonginnie:** 😶

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well this chapter was totally self indulgent i'm sorry for the mess dfkdgjdkg
> 
> dj chan scene totally copied from [this](https://youtu.be/b46TaE69J-E) video cause i can't get it out of my head and im really really weak for him
> 
> see you on ch20!
> 
> [twt](https://twitter.com/noirxses)


	20. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **2 years later**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was a double update so please make sure you've read ch19!
> 
> enjoy <3

**2 years later**

**jisung owes hyunjin 20,000₩**

**cutie lix:** is it out?????

 **mr bang chan:** it should be yeah

 **idiot:** ITS OUT BITCHESSSSS

 **seungminnie:** i can’t watch right now 😭

 **seungminnie:** i still haven’t finished this shoot

 **minho:** i can’t fucking find it????

 **jeonginnie:** HERE

 **jeonginnie:** [link attached]

 **binnie** : ok im fuckign nervousdsmdfkn

 **hyunjin:** LETJSD GO JSSK!!!!!

**hyunjin:** SO

 **hyunjin:** THOUGHSTDSFJ AND OPINSIOSN?

 **hyunjin:** why is no one saying anything

 **hyunjin:** did you guys hate it

 **hyunjin:** PELASE SAY SOEMTHIGN

 **idiot:** hyunjin hot

 **idiot:** that’s it that’s my reaction

 **hyunjin:** shut up you’ve already seen it

 **idiot:** ok bitch

 **idiot:** well i want a reaction too

 **idiot:** did you guys like the song or what

 **jeonginnie:** HWANG HYUNGJIN IS THAT A FUCKIGN TATTOOO NYOUR SHODLER

 **jeonginnie:** IS IT FAKE???????

 **hyunjin:** oh

 **hyunjin:** sdsflskdfdsg

 **hyunjin:** it’s not fake 🙊

 **hyunjin:** surprise!!!!

 **minho:** what the fuck when did you get it done????

 **minho:** it looks

 **minho:** kinda hot

 **idiot:** i can get tattoos too if you want

 **minho:** no baby don’t worry

 **minho:** you’re perfect 💖

 **hyunjin:** like a month ago sdfdkg

 **hyunjin:** binnie went to get a new one and

 **hyunjin:** i went with him

 **hyunjin:** and well i already had some ideas so 😳

 **binnie:** now he looks even hotter

 **binnie:** you’re welcome guys

 **jeonginnie:** and you didn’t say anything???

 **jeonginnie:** bitch 😤

 **hyunjin:** sorry dfjdkgdjkg

 **hyunjin:** it was a surprise

 **cutie lix:** wow!!!!!!!!!

 **cutie lix:** hyunnie you were AMAZING!!!!

 **cutie lix:** and the song!!!!!!

 **cutie lix:** it’s so good guys!!!!

 **cutie lix:** i’m so proud of you 😭😭😭

 **mr bang chan:** thanks lix 🤗

 **idiot:** i know right 😎

 **idiot:** it’s one of our best songs

 **idiot:** cause i wrote it

 **binnie:** we all wrote it you dick

 **idiot:** well yeah

 **idiot:** but the melody’s mine

 **idiot:** mostly

 **idiot:** so 😼

 **jeonginnie:** the mv was pretty cool too

 **jeonginnie:** you guys looked

 **jeonginnie:** like professional and shit

 **jeonginnie:** congrats

 **seungminnie:** wait i sneaked to the restroom to watch it

 **idiot:** omg you’re so brave

 **binnie:** the album’s out too

 **binnie:** if you guys wanna listen to it

 **hyunjin:** i’m already on it

 **hyunjin:** go stream!!!

 **cutie lix:** i’m listening too!!

 **cutie lix:** absolutely love it so far

 **mr bang chan:** he’s still on the first song

 **cutie lix:** i said i love it 😤😤

 **idiot:** thanks lixie you’re our number one fan <3

 **seungminnie:** okay watched it

 **seungminnie:** it’s a really good song

 **seungminnie:** seriously

 **seungminnie:** great job guys 😊

 **binnie:** thanks 🥺🥺

 **hyunjin:** what about me

 **hyunjin:** minnie say something about me

 **seungminnie:** i mean you were only there for like 30 seconds

 **seungminnie:** but yeah you looked good

 **seungminnie:** the other dancers were pretty cool too 👍

 **seungminnie:** i’m not gonna say anything about the tattoo cause what the fuck

 **hyunjin:** hehesjejs

 **hyunjin:** thanks 🥰🥰

 **seungminnie:** i’ll listen to the album later

 **seungminnie:** i have to go back

 **seungminnie:** congrats on your debut 🧡🤍

 **idiot:** thank you minnie 🙏

 **mr bang chan:** thanks guys it means a lot :)

 **minho:** so

 **minho:** are we meeting later?

 **idiot:** aw baby

 **idiot:** you miss me already 😚

 **binnie:** gross

 **idiot:** shut up this is a private conversation between me and my boyfriend

 **jeonginnie:** it’s not private we can all read your messages

 **idiot:** that’s your problem

 **idiot:** don’t read them 🙄

 **minho:** i meant like going out

 **minho:** to celebrate and stuff

 **idiot:** oh

 **idiot:** yeah sure

 **mr bang chan:** we can’t really go out as much now though

 **binnie:** we can meet up at mine?

 **binnie:** if you guys want

 **jeonginnie:** yes!!!

 **jeonginnie:** let’s destroy changbin’s house 😊

 **binnie:** please don’t

 **binnie:** i don’t want to get kicked out it’s barely been a month

 **minho:** don’t worry we’ll behave

 **minho:** 😼

 **hyunjin:** don’t trust him he’s the devil

 **minho:** shut up

 **seungminnie:** hour?

 **idiot:** idk cause we’re at the office and who knows when we’ll get out

 **idiot:** but maybe like

 **idiot:** 8?

 **minho:** 8 is ok

 **idiot:** it’s a date 💖

 **hyunjin:** it’s not a date we’re all going

 **idiot:** then you’re all third wheeling

 **idiot:** again, not my problem

 **hyunjin:** 🙄

 **cutie lix:** see you guys at 8 then 🤗✨

 **binnie:** bring booze and food cause my fridge is empty

 **hyunjin:** it was empty last week too

 **binnie:** 😶

 **binnie:** see you at 8 <3

 **minho:** can’t believe hyunjin’s still dating you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so... that's a wrap!
> 
> i'm going to miss these boys a lot... i hope i was able to give them a nice enough ending, and i hope you guys found it enjoyable in some way! they're going to live happily ever after cause i said so!
> 
> now let's get on with the emotional statement cause my moon is cancer and i have lots of feelings!!! but i'm also really bad with words so please bear with me
> 
> i seriously can't believe this is over? wtf. i started this more than half a year ago?????? and i managed to finish it???? 😭😭😭😭 not gonna lie, it was pretty hard, cause i'm the most inconsistent person ever but... i did it! this whole story could've been way way way better if i'd just planned everything out before starting to write like a mad woman, but i'm still kinda proud of myself? idksfdsksdg 
> 
> i've always said this, but thank to everyone who's read this, left kudos or commented. like the fact that this has 10k hits and almost 500 kudos? how is that possible? 😭 seriously, thank you so much. you're 90% of the reason i was able to keep going until the end <3 and a special shoutout to those people who've been commenting this practically since the beginning, making me look forward every time to their cute and lovely words. you guys are the best 🥺
> 
> i have tons of ideas for new stories, but for the time being i'm going to take a break from writing cause my brain is super dry after this. though i really hope i can surprise you guys with something new some time soon!!!
> 
> once again, thank you thank you thank you!!! 💖💘💖💘💖
> 
> you can always find me on [twt](https://twitter.com/noirxses)


End file.
